Title: Mask, Mirror, Monster
Warnings: angst
Rating: T
Pairings: none, really. Just some Kei/Sho and Kei/Yi-Che if you squint really hard. With both eyes closed.
Disclaimer: Moonchild does not belong to, nor do its characters or anything else related to the movie. I make no profit out of this story, it is written merely for fun and entertainment of other fans. Yadda yadda.
Summary: As the hunger clawed its way through his insides, feeding off his humanity instead off blood, he knew it would not be long...
Note: English is not my first language. I know there are probably horrible mistakes in there (grammatically speaking, ignoring the general crappiness of the whole thing), so I'd ask for honest (but gentle) criticism. Thank you.
Please do not worry, my dearest readers, I have not abandoned my Avatar-FFs. There were just… things keeping me from writing properly. I actually hope to finish Twilight this month, and then I'll put more energy towards "Into the Dark". Thanks for your patience… I apologize for the continued delay.
~*~
Mask, Mirror, Monster
There was water ins his cupped hands, liquid, colourless, cool even to his touch. For a moment he found himself unable to move, his mossy green eyes fixed on his hands, holding water that was already starting to seep between his pale fingers. He shuddered and it spilled.
As the water swirled across white porcelain and down the drain he felt his eyes burning. No matter how hard he tried to hold on, everything was slipping. As the hunger clawed its way through his insides, feeding off his humanity instead off blood, he knew it would not be long before the mask would be torn from his face and his friends, his family, would see him for the monster he truly was. There was nothing he could do about it.
A lone tear traveled down his pale cheek and he did not bother wiping it away. Sho was not here, he had gone to meet Toshi, Son and Yi-Che. There was no need to fake strength and indifference for the boy's sake right now.
Shaking hands reached for the tap, collected water, and once again he found himself staring down without moving. He could see his hands through the water, and he imagined claws instead, monstrous and unnatural. Inhuman. How he longed to give in to the hunger, to shed all masks and let the vampire devour his humanity before the sun devoured them both. To be free once more, just one final time.
Not yet. It was too early, and too easy to pretend that they still needed him. Somehow, though, he could feel time slipping through his fingers, and soon he would have none of it left.
Sighing, he splashed the water onto his skin before it escaped him once more. For a while he enjoyed feeling the droplets running downwards, over his cheeks like tears and towards his throat like a lover's caress. Kei's eyes closed.
Yi-Che fancied him. He was well aware of that. It was difficult not to encourage her without causing her pain. It had been too long since he had been skilled at that kind of dance. It would wound her to see him without the mask one day, to realize that he was a monster. Kei tried not to worry about it. Sho would be there to catch her when that time came.
Kei wondered if he would ever get to see them together. He wondered if he would finally be able to despise Sho for taking the girl the vampire might have loved under different circumstances. He wondered if the monster would shed the human mask when Yi-Che took the boy who held Kei's heart.
Slowly, he opened his eyes once more. The smirk died before reaching his bloodless lips as he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror.
„You..."
He just looked at Kei with compassionate brown eyes. They were too large, those eyes, too open, too trusting. He wore a shirt that was too large and a smile that was too lovely. Slowly, Kei leant closer. One hand rose and touched his own hair, unable to look away when the other man mirrored the gesture.
The other's hair was a deep brown, nearly black. It framed a face that was both boyish and slightly feminine; the kind of face that stirred longings, hopes and desires. A strand rested against lips that begged to be kissed, another had caught on long, dark lashes. Kei snarled and shoved his own, much shorter hair out of his face. The younger man only smiled and did the same. It didn't help. The strands fell back almost instantly. He just rolled his eyes, but laughter danced in his eyes. Kei wanted to throttle him. Kei wanted to hold him. Kei wanted to warn him.
„Why?"
It took him a while to recognise his own voice, heavy with emotion and rough with bloodlust. He shouldn't talk to the young man gazing at him so intently, but he couldn't help himself. So many words were bundled up inside of him, never escaping his lips, hidden behind that mask, begging to be heard. Somehow he always found himself hoping this man would someday answer him before it was too late and they would never see each other again.
With a choked sob, Kei touched his forehead to that of the other man.
„I wish you had not died", he whispered. „Why did you leave me? Come back. Please, come back. I would love you to meet Sho. He's just like you. The two of you would have a great time together. Of course, you'd get yourself killed within half a day, because none of you ever had enough sense to keep away from monsters such as myself."
Cool fingertips brushed aside his tears as he cupped the younger man's cheek. It was warm and soft. He could feel the other's smile.
„I need you", he admitted. „And you show up less and less often."
His voice dropped to a whisper, full of shame and regret.
„I'm afraid you're slipping from my memory. I wish there was someone else but me who remembered you, just to help me hold onto you. One of these days you'll be gone for good and I will have no reason to keep my mask in place. The monster will be free, and it will be the end of me, too. Finally. I yearn for that day. And yet... I... I don't know how I feel about losing you so completely. Remembering you used to make things easier, you know. The ache used to remind me that I had once been human and could still pretend. "
Whimpering, he straightened up once more. The pity in those deep brown eyes was almost too much.
„Please don't look at me."
The younger man reached up to touch his own neck.
„I need you. I want to be with you again. I..."
As the other's eyes widened and his mouth slacked, his hair started to pale.
„I want you to live... Kei..."
It become almost white, just like his skin. Too pale, unnaturally so. Slowly, as the change continued, colour bled back into the silken strands. They became sunlight, they became a reminder, they became just another part of himself that he loathed. No Japanese man was born with blonde hair.
Kei slammed his fist into the mirror, not holding back the tears anymore.
„Come back, Kei!" he roared.
But his reflection, cruelly, did not change back again. Sobbing, he searched for that young man inside of himself, but the deeper he looked, the closer he led the blonde monster towards its greatest prey. Not yet. It was not time to shed the mask just yet.
Hunger twisted inside of him, and when he stepped out of the dark bathroom and heard rain against their windows, he was no longer sure if it was the desire to meet his friends or mere bloodlust which drove him outside.
It did not matter.
The mask was shaky but in place, the monster lurked but did not lunge, and the mirror was broken beyond repair but had not lost that ghost of a memory.
Not yet... but much too soon.
~*~
The End
~*~
Thank you for reading. Please leave a review!