A/N: I don't own Twilight or any of the songs mentioned in this chapter. They belong to Stephenie Meyer and the song's artist.

APOV

Driving was always my least favorite part of a road trip. But when the only other person who had a license to operate a vehicle was Bella, I had to take control.

It had been approximately one hour since we pulled out of the driveway in her yellow Porsche, but it felt more like an eternity. Since I was driving, Bella had control of the music, and in my opinion, she had horrible taste for it. I don't even know how someone could listen to rap music, let alone listen to it when it's blasting through the stereo. And she surprisingly knew all the words, too.

But that's always how we've been; complete opposites from one another. I was always the sweet, shy, sensitive goody two shoes that my parents, Carlisle & Renee, adored. People my age were supposed to be going out every night to party illegally, but that wasn't me. I never really got the chance to do it, anyways. I was kind of a loner at school, and Bella wasn't exactly close to me either, so it's not like she would've snuck in a few beers for me every now and then. Sometimes, I really envied Bella. The way that she had this certain air of freedom and carelessness that circled around her. She never took no for an answer and she lived her life (or at least her 4 years of high school) to the fullest. And she was a natural beauty, too. She could roll out of bed in the morning without brushing her hair or putting on makeup and still look perfect.

Unlike me. I always spent hours looking at the mirror, obsessing over my image and what needed to be fixed. I always had to spend 20 minutes of my time in the morning to fix my stupid long hair so it would look decent. I was cursed with both big boobs and a butt, so it was impossible trying to fit into those popular Hollister clothes, or whatever they were called. I knew for a fact that I was very insecure, but it was hard for me to stop criticizing myself all the time.

I always wondered if Bella was just born popular. Everyone had always talked about her since kindergarten, I'm pretty sure, and it had stayed that way until she got her high school diploma. She always wore the nicest clothes, had the coolest friends, hosted the craziest parties ( which she always sent me into my room for) and everything else that you would want as a teenager.

So, I had no clue how I ended up on this road trip with her. Maybe it was to escape Forks, or to spend some time with my sister before she went away to college and I started my junior year of high school. I don't know, but I was going to break the silence because this rap music was making me want to OD on Aleve.

"Can you turn that down please?" I barked.

"Fine. I guess this music is breaking your poor little virgin eardrums," she huffed.

Bella turned down the radio to a decent volume and put her feet on top of the dashboard.

"How do you keep your car so clean when you do stuff like that with your dirty shoes?" I questioned.

"You ever heard of car cleaning vacuums? They suck out all the dirt like I suck..." She paused, hoping I would get the dirty joke.

"You can be downright sick sometimes. And what did you mean earlier by me having 'virgin eardrums'?"

She snickered at me. " Like you've never been to a concert where the music is blaring and you don't have those earplugs on to block out the damage. Or you've never listened to your iPod full-blast."

I decided not to continue the conversation further, because everything she said was kinda true. Even though I wished it wouldn't be. Maybe this trip would change me for the better. Maybe Bella could teach me some stuff so I could go back to school after the summer and become a bad-ass. I started to fantasize what could possibly happen if that came true. Maybe I'd continue the legacy that is Bella Swan.

A few minutes passed until I pulled into the nearest gas station. I started to pump the gasoline into the car while Bella lit a cancer stick. Okay, I know that smoking is totally gross and I'd probably never do it just because of the possibility of lung cancer, but she looked so cool doing it. Like it was some kind of art class and she was the teacher, the master.

I swiped Dad's credit card and headed back towards the drivers seat, where Bella stopped me.

"Hold on a sec, there. You just drove for an hour, let's switch up drivers."

Was she kidding?

Bella could've been infamous for her reckless driving and multiple tickets that she always got out of thanks to Uncle Charlie, the police chief in Forks. It's a miracle that our parents even bought her a car for Christmas, let alone a nice one like the yellow Porsche that I'd begged for on numerous occasions.

After a minute of deeply thinking, I handed the keys over and moved toward the passenger seat. I needed to relax, anyways, and the worst that could happen is that we fly off a cliff, Thelma-and-Louise style, and become the subject of many newspaper articles about our mysterious deaths. But Bella's missing dead corpse would probably get more of the spotlight anyway, since she knew a lot more people than I did who could help with the investigation.

We climbed into our seats and Bella started the car. Once the radio turned on, I gave her a sour look.

"Alright, it's only fair that you get the radio now." She complained.

Yess.

I skimmed through many talk stations and a few country before I settled on an alternative station. This was my kind of music, and I didn't care if Bella was against listening to it. I was against listening to her rap music and she didn't do shit.

A very emo-like song just ended and I started to hear the beginning of Map of The Problematique. I relaxed a bit in my seat and started to close my eyes to the wonderful sounds of Muse. The last words I heard as I drifted to sleep were, "When will loneliness be over?"

BPOV

"When will loneliness be over?"

I didn't want to admit this, but Alice's taste in music was some pretty tight shit to what I thought she'd have us listen to. I swear if she went all Mozart and Bach on me, I'd have to turn around and bring out my can of Whoop-Ass.

I have to say that I was pretty impressed when Alice got the girl-balls to ask me if she could come along on my little road trip. I was actually kinda happy to bring someone partially sane along, even if they did usually act like they had a stick up their ass. I couldn't bring along Newton; he'd just ruin the whole trip with his whole stoner act , even though he'd only smoked pot with me once.

There were two things that Alice currently didn't know about this trip. One was that the only reason I wasn't drving like a crook running from the cops is that I didn't want to scare the shit outta Alice. And second was that I had actually planned the whole thing in order to find my real dad. Yeah, Carlisle was basically like a father to me and an awesome stepdad, but ever since I was 13 years old, I started growing suspicious of how close we actually were. I started snooping around in him and Mommy's offices, trying to find some sort of evidence, because honestly neither Alice nor I looked anything like him. I soon got a hold of a folder that read "To Bella & Alice On Their 18th Birthday". But I couldn't have waited 5 more years. I sat them both down in the living room while Alice was sleeping and confronted them about this. They didn't deny it, either. Mommy said it was only to protect me because she didn't think I could emotionally handle seeing my biological father until I was older. So I waited patiently, spending my free time getting wasted and finding other stuff to do that would relieve the pain of having some part of me, my DNA, being hidden.

Once I turned 18, they gave me the folder, which was filled with tons of letters written to me and Alice for the first 7 or 8 years of our lives. Pictures, videos, etc. Taped onto the left side was an address, which I presumed was his. It was all the way down in Florida, but I didn't care. I needed to go to college knowing exactly what my roots were. And that's why I decided to take a road trip after I graduated Forks High.

I hoped that when Alice found out, she wouldn't freak on me or anything. She deserved to know this sooner or later anyway, and wouldn't it be better for us to both learn about it together?

Back to thinking about Newton, there's no way that dumbnut could ever handle doing something like this. I shouldn't be talking about one of my besties like that, but it's pretty much true. Me and Newton had been buddies ever since 2nd grade, when he thought I was the neatest shit in the world for having an effing crayon sharpener. Ever since that, it had been years of me bossing him around and him actually listening to every dumb thing I had to say. Things were a bit awkward between us now, though. It started in sophomore year, when school was out for the holidays. Newton's 'rents were gone for the weekend so we hung out in his basement, watching lame movies and drinking some Jack Daniels. He told me that he loved me, and I ended up kissing him passionately . We ended up having drunken sex that night and everything had changed after. The last two years were basically him constantly asking me out and me trying to hold back the fact that he was just an effing one-night-stand who I didn't give a shit about in the romantic department.

I had only been in love once, or something like it, and it was with Edward. The summer between 8th grade and freshman year, my family took a trip down to Hawaii. Edward was vacationing there, too, with his family. We would meet up at the beach every night and talk about everything. I'd get butterflies in my stomach every time I saw him. By the end of our two-week trip, it felt like I had known him my whole life. We knew everything about each other and had already admitted that we were both crushing on one another.

On my last night in Hawaii, Edward and I took a walk across the sand and kissed. Then we kissed some more, and he whispered in my ear, "I love you."

I love you. No boy had ever told me that before him and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it. One part of me felt adored and wanted to say the same thing back, but the other side of me didn't want it. That other side, which I usually refer to as my evil twin, is the one that's been controlling more and more of me as I get older. It doesn't want to know love, or feel it, because it thinks that I can succeed better in life without it. That part of me doesn't want to know love, because love can eventually lead to hurt, and that hurt has been burning up inside me ever since I wondered if the reason why my real dad stopped wrtiting letters to me is because he doesn't care about me anymore.

I had to pull over at the next stop. My emotions were controlling too effing much of me and I couldn't have a goddamn breakdown right in front of my little sister. I told a sleepy Alice that I would be back in a minute, I just had to use the bathroom.

I walked into the disgusting, cheap-looking bathroom and locked the door behind me. Nobody was going to see Bella Swan cry except Bella Swan herself.

I sat down on the toilet and finally just let it all pour out. I cried for what seemed like hours but was only minutes. I sat back up and walked over to the mirror. Once my makeup was reapplied, I walked back towards the car and got out my flask. I was in some definite need of cheap booze.

A/N: So, that's the first chapter! I basically suck at writing the first few chapters of a story, so I hope that this didn't bore you to tears. The next chapter will be up pretty soon, like in the next week or so. Don't worry, the story will get more exciting. I'm just setting up the basic introduction our characters.

Reviews are very much loved :)