Rain fell over the darkened city one autumn evening. The drops of water pattered against the ground and objects gently, creating a soothing rhythm even the most troubled child could sleep to. It was what always calmed him. Standing in the front yard of a home he shared with three other people, he stared into space as the cold water hit his skin. The gentle wind blew his brown locks out of his big, blue-green eyes, causing him to automatically blink. He buried his chilled hands into his pockets, shivering slightly.
The world slowly slipped away from him while his mind dipped deeper into the endless pool of possibilities. Some of the results made him worry, and some of the results gave him hope. The sense of false hope that he surely did not need building up in his soul. But what he did need was advice. Advice and comfort from someone that would understand. His problem was that he couldn't tell anyone what was going on with him. Word would get around and the wrong ear would pick up on it. She would know. And he didn't need her to know.
"George?" came a female voice.
The man in the front lawn known as Dr. George O'Malley turned his head to face his room mate, Dr. Meredith Grey.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Why are you in the rain?" she asked.
He shrugged. She sighed and just shook her head, going back inside the house. George let out a long, drawn out sigh, contemplating on whether or not he wanted to return inside the warm home.
I could go inside... But she's in there. And the last thing I need is seeing her with him.
George walked away from his spot on the front yard and trudged across the soggy grass, getting his shoes slightly muddy, and walked up the wet cement sidewalk that led to the wooden front porch. He took a seat on the top, letting his legs rest three steps below his seat.
He stared ahead at the neighboring houses, peering past a couple trees to see inside. He saw a man and a woman slow dancing in a dimly lit living room. They were smiling up at each other, looking happy and loved. Feeling slightly nauseous, George turned his eyes toward the next house. He could see inside the window of a teenaged girl's bedroom. She was laying on her bed, talking on the phone and twirling her hair.
Oh, great. Not only am I pathetic, but I'm a peeping Tom that's a pedophile! Wait, am I having pedophiliac feelings toward her? No... Is "pedophiliac" even a word?
George lowered his eyes and shook his head, letting it fall into his hands. His drenched hair curled slightly around his fingers, causing him to clutch it and feel the desire to pull it out from pure frustration.
You're always getting yourself into something, O'Malley. First Olivia, then Meredith, then Callie, and now Izzie? Izzie? Your best friend? Your person? The girl that's dating Alex? She's Alex's girl. If I even tried to make a move she would not only slap me, but Alex would kick my ass!
He let out a long, drawn-out sigh. Depression had touched him over the last month due to his lack of doing and more watching. A small, brief smile tickled the corners of his lips from the memory of the talk he had with Izzie only a year ago. Izzie had said that they should become do-ers like Cristina and Meredith. Izzie was slowly becoming a do-er, but George? He was still a watcher. He still feared the rejection from his peers. He feared losing Izzie because of his crush.
Is it a crush? he thought. Or am I in love? Maybe it's just lust. She is very beautiful...
He smiled, thinking about her long golden locks that always fell over her shoulders. Her big, beautiful somber brown eyes. The way her eyelashes slightly curled up. And her tulip-like nose. Her slim, toned body. And the way she moved? It drove him insane. Her walk, which was a cat-like strut with the way her hips would swing slightly from side to side. He loved the way she moved. She was taller than him by about an inch, and he was fine with that. The only thing he found slightly negative was that she could beat him up very easily.
Chicken armed O'Malley...
But that wasn't true. He had strong arms that were well toned. They weren't like Gorgeous George's, but they were still strong. And he was easy on the eyes himself, but he would never be aware of it due to his low self esteem. He was baby-faced, which always led his patients to tell him that he was too young to be a doctor and had been accused of being a college freshman. His puppy dog eyes changed between the colors blue and green. Izzie had once jokingly told him that they were magic.
Resting his elbow on his knee, he let his chin fall to his fist and tore his eyes away from the ground.
But she's also kind. And sweet. She's great with her patients, but does get a little too involved... But then again, so do I. She's so kind-hearted. And funny. She can make me laugh for hours. She's just amazing...
Snapping out of his daydreams, he realized that he was still smiling. He let the corners of his face drop and immediately felt the aching muscles in his face complain.
After five more minutes of sitting on the front porch, he finally stood up and went inside to change his clothes. He spent the rest of his evening in his bedroom, not wanting to see Alex and Izzie together.