...haulin' ass, 'cause it's cold out.

He had no idea how it happened.

One minute he was freezing his balls off trying to climb the stupidly tall hill in the park that, for some stupid fucking reason, he thought would actually be a shortcut, and the next he was flying ass first down the hill, slamming his side into a tree, and getting soaked by the nasty, brown slush that was trying to pass itself off for snow.

Church hated Mondays.

And now there was a guy poking his side, fantastic.

"Wow! You flew really far! But you really should not sled without a sled. I tried that once, it did not end very well."

Church groaned, both at the voice that was certainly not helping his developing headache, but also at the fact that landing on a tree isn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world. "Hey, buddy. Not that it isn't fascinating hearing all about your sledding adventures, but could you do me a favor and help me off the fucking ground!"

The other man stopped talking, and Church squinted up to look at him. He was tall, far taller than Church was even when he wasn't sprawled in the mud. Church couldn't tell much else about him though, not with the sun silhouetting him as it was.

"Oh. Yeah, sure!"

And it wasn't two seconds later that Church found himself vertical again, clutching onto the sleeves of the man that bodily dragged him off the ground like he weighed no more than a new born kitten.

"What. The. Fuck." Church breathed, but it didn't appear that the other man heard him, instead making sure Church was steady on his feet before extending a hand out to him.

"Hi, I'm Michael J. Caboose, but you can call me Caboose. What's your name?"

Church stared at the hand. It was covered in a mitten, fluffy and made of a soft blue material, hiding the fact that Church was sure the other man could break his hand like wet tissue paper.

Church looked up at the man's face, and was stunned by what he saw.

Caboose was smiling down at him, a smile so large and innocent that it made Church's face hurt just looking at him. The man's warm browns eyes crinkled around the edges, showing off how much the other man must laugh because he didn't look old enough to be getting wrinkles yet.

Church decided he had looked stupid enough for one day, so instead of standing around looking like a moron, he took the other man's extended hand, shaking it firmly. "Church."

Caboose dropped his hand after a minute, smiling even wider if that were possible. "Nice to meet you, Church!" Then his smile dimmed a little, looking behind Church and towards the ground. "Um, why did you knock over the Christmas tree? Do you hate Christmas? Santa won't be very happy if he sees it looking like that."

Church turned around, only just now noticing that it wasn't just any tree he had fallen into. It was the town's annual Christmas tree and, if he were being honest with himself, he hated the thing. It was always gaudily decorated, like someone just took boxes of crap and slung it at the tree, satisfied with wherever the shit landed. If Church had been in charge of the decorating, then at least it wouldn't make him want to gouge his eyes out every time he looked at it. Honestly, he was kinda happy he had knocked the shitty thing over.

But looking at the sad expression on Caboose's face made him feel like he had stolen puppies from starving orphans, then kicked them. Not just the puppies, but the orphans too.

And he'd only just fucking met the guy, he should not be giving a crap about the feelings of a stranger. Hell, he barely gave a crap about the feelings of people he knew.

But that didn't stop him from reaching down and trying to pick the tree back up, watching Caboose start smiling again from the corner of his eye as he struggled with the massive tree, only for Caboose to join him, lifting the entire thing back up into place with minimal effort on Church's part.

Church doesn't know why he does it, but he invites the other man to the coffee shop up the street so he can warm up a bit before trudging home to get dry.

And if they meet at the coffee shop every Monday after that, then it was just a coincidence. Really.