"Song of Siren"
A tale of the FFVI World
Chapter One
Across the vast desolate plain of rocks and dry shrubs, Celes watched the sun set beyond the sea. Flecks of red and gold danced upon the waves. It was here, in the bleakest area of the Eastern Continent, that she felt the most at home. It had been a long hard day and something in the air was worrying her. "Don't be so sensitive," she told herself aloud. But here in the outskirts of Mobliz everything seemed nervous and hopeless, so it wasn't surprising that she had begun to feel the same way. Her past experiences with magitek had tinkered with her senses, leaving her very perceptive to the natural world.
She sank to her knees and ran a finger through the grainy soil. Once, a few years ago, this plain, had been grassy and beautiful. When she closed her eyes, she still saw the flowers, bright blue and turquoise. She smiled at the memory but at the same time let out a deep sigh, for she knew it would never be the same. Opening her eyes again to the brilliant display of a fire lit sky, she noticed something hidden in the shrubs. She got to her feet, approached, stunned in disbelief. In the shrubs was a tiny, though quite living, flower. It's tiny blue bud had not yet opened. She crouched and shielded it from the winds with her hand. So fragile, yet resilient. Surely, she thought, this was a sign that things were ready to move on. Finally, feeling the hope she had so craved, she leapt to her feet and ran along the shoreline, waves sucking back her footprints as she left them.
The deep crimson waves beckoned her to join them, and for the first time since the collapse of balance she decided she would. Flinging off her dusty sandals, she slipped first one foot, then the other into the waters of the inner sea. Tingles of sensation engulfed her. Surprisingly, it was still warm. She dove in, ignoring the fact that she still wore clothes, and swam playfully. Pulling her head below the surface, she thrashed downwards to the sandy ocean floor. Taking a handful of sand and letting it dissipate from her fingers into the water. She drifted back to the surface, allowing her eyes to open. They stung, but allowed her to take in the pouring vermillion light from the surface. She flung her head above the water and filled her lungs with salty air, the sharp flavour also on her lips. She gazed calmly into the sunset once more, and her thoughts were now blissfully free of the time long ago when she had looked to the sea as a means of ending it all. When she had given up all hope of ever feeling happiness again. That was far behind her for one moment and she smiled deeply as she drank in the beautiful crimson sky.
~*~
Terra walked across the room to rescue the whistling kettle from the stove and stopped suddenly when her foot became wet. She lifted her leg to find her slipper soaked and dripping. "Celes?" she inquired, "Are you trailing water by any chance?" Poking her head in from the hallway, Celes gave a sheepish grin.
"Ummmm, now how did that happen?" She laughed, "Must have been a flash flood."
"You went swimming?!" Terra said amusedly, "In the ocean? That's not like you, Celes"
"What do you mean?" Celes tried to act hurt, "I do it all the time. I'm a fun person, aren't I?" Terra just stared at her with a smirk. "Don't say it, I know. . . and what's so funny about swimming in the ocean, anyway?"
"Here take these clean clothes." Terra grabbed a long brown skirt and an old sweater from the chair. "You look like you could use a wash"
"I'm not that bad." Celes played with a tangle in her salt-soaked hair and reconsidered. "Thanks, Terra. I'll only be a moment. Are you getting tea?"
"Yeah, I just got back from Tzen with the groceries. Katarin met this really nice man selling herbal tea and she convinced me to buy it. Elder berries and Tuber grass, I think. I had my suspicions about it, but now that I've tried it I don't know how I managed without it."
"Smells great" Exclaimed Celes, "I can't wait to try some" She smiled at Terra and then proceeded on to the bathroom. Though Mobliz appears to be destroyed from the surface, Celes found no fault in the underground residence. She was very grateful for Terra's invitation to stay with them for as long she pleased, which turned out to be quite a long time. Here in the hollowed- out tunnels it seemed as though the world and its worries were far away. The walls were delicately lit with lamps and the stone have since been polished in places, to the point at which it reflected the light and appeared, to an untrained eye, as if it were an expensive marble wall. Celes loved the bathroom most of all. After checking to see if any of the children were inside, she slipped behind the curtain into the large smooth bathtub. Terra had already taken the liberty of drawing a warm bath and Celes was grateful for it. The water was warm. Warmer than the ocean had been, and it seeped right to her very core.
Celes let herself unwind and helped herself to a little bath milk. The water turned creamy white and Celes let herself slide into it until her hair was covered. Terra sure knew how to indulge in life's little luxuries. She was in awe of Terra, and despite herself, proud. Turning from an unsure, confused girl to a loving "mother" and a wonderful friend. If anything, she had thought Celes a lot about priorities. Nothing mattered more to Terra than the well being of others. Being an outsider, a test subject can do that to you, she decided. Terra knew alienation and fear. This was her way of getting over it. By doing everything in her power to prevent others from feeling the pain she had lived with for so many years.
Celes began to wonder if she had learned as much as Terra from all her travels and experiences. She felt a little let down when all she found were tales of jumping over cliffs and a hollow hole in her heart where something was missing. Tales of past pride, desperation. She could have reached deep inside her soul and still have come out mostly empty-handed. But not now, she told herself, not now. Terra's friendship was enough for her, did as much as any council, any remedy could hope to do. It filled a void she had carried for many years.
~*~
"So you'll go?" Terra peered at Celes over her cup, her look tentative, trying to judge her reaction.
"I hadn't even thought about travelling so soon." Celes took a nervous sip. Her pale blue eyes did nothing to betray her thoughts.
"Soon?! It's been ages, Celes." She forced a smile, "Don't you ever get bored of this place?"
"Actually, I don't" She said truthfully, looking up into Terra's face. This place was her Utopia. The one safe haven that she'd ever known in her brief life. She hadn't even considered moving on, maybe not ever. At least not until she felt more sure about her place in the world. "I haven't out lived my welcome, have I?"
"Oh, no. Of course not. You could never do that"
"Yes. I was just....."
"They asked for you, you know."
"Who did?" Celes drew her eyebrows together.
"Edgar and Sabin." Terra smiled at the dear, familiar names, "And of course, Gau. Sabin was very clear on the message that he wanted you to visit. Said that he missed your singing!"
"My singing!!!!" Celes laughed, "As long as he doesn't expect any arias from me! My opera days are over, I'm afraid." She picked up her cup and began swirling it nervously.
"They all really wanted to see you." Terra coaxed. Celes stared off into space, counted the wall ornaments, and it was obvious that she was pondering something very hard. There was a long awkward silence. "I'll bet Locke has been wondering about you"
"I doubt that." Celes was unflinching. She placed down her cup, placed her elbow slowly unto the table. Then, "You really think so?" For a moment she appeared to smile slightly. Then turning away she let out a short, forced laugh. "He's probably move onto bigger and better things. You know Treasure Hunters."
"Yeah, I certainly do" Terra grinned, "But I also know Locke. Did you think he'd just forgotten about you and left it at that? That he could stand a total cut off? You should know better. He cares about you, you know." Terra was intruding too far, she could she it in Celes' face. Celes jumped to her feet.
"Terra." She was stern but soft, "Please. Like I told you before. Locke is a wonderful guy, but that whole part of my life is over now. Things inherently change, and they have. I'd prefer to move on and not dwell on it."
"But you were so close..."
"Right. We WERE close. But I've accepted my life as it is now. I have to build a new life. Make my own choices. You understand that, don't you?"
"Yes." Terra sighed, "I do." She walked over to Celes and put her hand on her shoulder. "I just wish you wouldn't bury things. It's not healthy."
"I'm not burying anything. It's the way things are now."
"If you say so." Terra smiled, "Still, I think that they would like it if you went. It'll be good for you to get out of here for a while. You'll go stir crazy. I hear the sun in Figaro is lovely this time of year."
"Come with me." Celes leaned her head against Terra's, closed her eyes, "You need a break too, and I feel guilty leaving you here, alone." She paused, carefully letting her words come out. Almost forced emotion, the way it was with Celes sometimes, "Besides, I would miss you."
"There's no reason to feel guilty, unless of course you don't go. Then I'd have to toast you." They both laughed, "My place is here with the children. You know that. I'm content. I know you say you are as well, but I know that part of you craves this. You need to get out. Don't even say no now. Just sleep on it, please." Celes looked at Terra with an irritated but friendly look. Terra laughed. "You don't have a choice anyway. I'll take you to the port while you're asleep if I have to!"
~*~
Celes stood at the dock, hair gracefully grazing her shoulder, waiting for her boarding call. Two days later, and here she was. This was actually happening. She couldn't believe that Terra actually talked, or more accurately, forced her into this. The girl worked fast. Here she stood in Nikeah port with the rank stench of fish in her lungs and travellers hurrying about all around her, like a dream, but too crude to be anything but reality. Some offered a choppy greeting, while others almost mowed her down, but most simply slipped by unnoticed. The collection of travellers here, the colours, the smell of straw, was all so fresh and vibrant. Celes found her eyeing the vagrants and peasants. Cotton work clothes. Woven garments for sale. Hair knotted and tied back with colourful yarn. She wondered how she appeared to the people she walked past. Did she, in her plain tan travel coat, stand out in this crowd? Did she look like an anxious traveller, excited about meeting her friends again, or more like a little child going to the dentist? She hope for the former but feared it was almost certainly the latter. Her brow stopped furrowing, and resumed a placid formality.
She reminding herself of the great times that she had shared with those people. That had to count for something. And then all those hard times. One can't let that just fall away, like dew on a petal. Celes straightened her posture. She turned her face into the fine sunshine, breathed the salty Nikeah air. They would be the same people as they had been before. She reached into her pocket, realised that it was change she feared most, and pulled out a scarf to tie her hair back. Yes, whatever demons waited for her, she would have to face them. The captain called out for passengers and Celes was pushed through with the force of the crowd. Couldn't be that much of a demand to get to Figaro, could it? It must be pretty damn sunny there. She laughed. With the salty wind in her face she felt better and started to genuinely look forward to seeing everyone again.
~*~
"She should be arriving soon. I don't know what's keeping them." Edgar paced the room. "Sabin said he was taking a Chocobo carriage. They should be here already. I hope nothing went wrong." Edgar picked up his wine glass and took a deep gulp, checked his hair in the reflection of the staircase. "Locke, are you sure you don't want anything?" He looked at the side of Locke's head, dishevelled as always. Nothing. "Locke?"
"It's quite all right, Edgar." Deadpan. Locke perched on the edge of the stairs. "I'm fine"
"You sure?" Edgar went on, "You don't look fine. C'mon, have a drink with me."
"It's okay! Give it a rest." Locke smirked, "I think you've been a little too heavy on the wine yourself. They'll be getting here all right." Locke sat back, stretch his legs out, and appeared to be totally calm. Edgar wasn't buying it.
"You freak me out"
"Do I?" Locke looked at him with sarcastic concern.
"What the hell is wrong with you?
"What do you mean, What's wrong with me?" Locke laughed, incredulously, "You're the one in the fits over there. You're the one that's freaking ME out." Locke twirled his dagger around in nonchalant boredom.
"Did you check the flowers?"
"Huh? What are you talking about?! You're mad."
"Did you check them?!! The flowers, Locke, did you check them?!!"
"What bloody flowers? I don't know what you're talking about."
"In her room! Did you check to see if they're the right kind? The ones she likes so much!" Locke looked at Edgar in disbelief. Obviously, a king would do anything to be hospitable, but with Edgar everything had to be perfect. Edgar stared at him, swirling his glass, a picture of royal excessiveness.
"Yeah." He nodded absently, "They were fine." He stopped to think about the sweet smelling blue flowers. They had been very nice. Delicate, he had said. They made him think of Celes, herself. The pale blue of her eyes. Soft flesh. They made him nervous, just standing in the glass on her window.
"Okay. That's it." Edgar fumed, obviously feeling the wine. "What is wrong with you?!!!"
"Nothings wrong!" Locke yelled, jumping to his feet, "Are you completely dense? Just shut up already! Leave it alone! You're the one who's making me get all pissed off. There's nothing wrong! Nothing wrong with me at all. Can't you just see that?"
"You're nervous. That's it." Edgar smirked. Took a deep swig off wine.
"WHAT??!!! How do you figure that?!!" Locke stared at Edgar angrily. His fists clenched.
"You're nervous about seeing Celes again." Edgar grinned stupidly.
"Yeah Edgar, that's it." Locke cut sarcastically. Bloody hell. He ripped at him once more. "Why would I be nervous? Tell me."
"If you weren't so nervous you wouldn't have been destroying my staircase with that dagger of yours! I told you not to bring the damned thing in here. My good stairwell, Locke." He smiled, satisfied. That smile.
"What? Oh. . . " Locke looked down to see that he had absently been digging his dagger into the fine wood in an effort to calm his nerves. "Bloody hell!", he looked up at Edgar sheepishly, "I can pay for that.....Really....."
"Oh, just shut up now, and come with me" laughed Edgar, "I can hear the guards shouting down below. They must see the carriage in the distance, I'll reckon. Let's go now, shall we?"
"Right." Locke made a casual motion forward, hands in pockets, but he let Edgar walk ahead. Once he was out of view, Locke downed a tall glass of wine and hoped that would help his nerves. Something had better.
~*~
"Well, Celes, here you go!" Sabin beamed, "Welcome home!" Celes laughed.
"I wasn't planning on staying quite that long but, if you insist." Celes let a genuine smile cross her face. She had let go of her worries and now realised that Terra had been right all along. She felt as light as a feather, but then again, being with Sabin always did lighten her spirits. "The castle hasn't changed much" She observed.
"Thank God." exclaimed Sabin, proudly surveying the grounds. "You can always count on Figaro! Balance, Ruin or Rebirth, it keeps on going!" Sabin stood tall, a man of obvious training and strength. Even now he seemed quite untamable.
"Gau, gau keep going too!" Gau jumped up and down, tugging playfully on Celes' clothes. "Me want Celes to see inside, Sabin! We go now!" Gau had been learning etiquette from the royals for several years now, but nothing would ever temper his exuberance.
"Well then, let's go!" Celes took Gau's hand and then followed Sabin throughout the front gate. The guards smiled through their royal armour, and greeted Celes.
"Good day, Lady Celes!" They nodded their heads to her.
"Good day to you too!" smiled Celes, "It's really lovely here this time of year." She laughed at herself for using Terra's cheesy line on them, though it appeared to please them because they smiled back, fiercely.
Once inside Celes' face lit up. Edgar and Locke were rushing down the stairs like excited little boys. She was overwhelmed, frozen in place. Thoughts of nervousness, thoughts at all, left her head. A warm rush engulfed her, and she simply cried out in laughter. "Hey!!!!" Locke took one look at her face and all his inhibitions had melted away. He ran to her like the wind, bowling over Edgar, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Took her right off the floor and spun her around. Celes was giddy with shock.
"Locke." She acknowledged.
"I've missed you so much." He laughed, "You have no idea."
"Edgar!" Celes laughed as he pulled her from Locke and hugged her way too hard. "I like what you've done to the place!"
"Wait 'til you see the flowers, Celes!" He said proudly, "Wait "'til you see the flowers."
"You're priceless"
"C'mon in, dear!" Edgar laughed, "Let's have a glass of wine"
"I think you've already seen to a bit of that, Edgar" She laughed, "You look like a man who's had enough for one evening!" They laughed and walked Celes through the extravagantly decorated hall, to her chambers. All blue and gold and glistening polish. Locke walked alongside but held back a little, still feeling an slight icy tingle from Celes' cold eyes.
~*~
When she had settled away her belongings, meagre compared to the large bureau she placed them in, Edgar told her they would be sharing dinner that night in the main dining hall. A casual affair, nothing more, he had assured. Celes thought about getting dressed up for the occasion, then collapsed onto her bed. Her trip had left her worn and tired. Her hair was sticking to her forehead and she felt her eyelids grow heavy. She had begun to drift to sleep for an instant, then jumped upright, and decided she should head for dinner early. She wanted a little extra time to take in the sights of the castle.
The castle's main hall was decked out as if it were welcoming royalty. Edgar has seen that the servants had done their utmost to make the castle as appealing as possible. The table was set with its finest cutlery, the walls shone from excessive scrubbing, and the whole thing looked like an overpriced painting. Celes bent over to drink in the lush scent of flowers that lined the walls. Sabin's favourite, camellias, as usual. She sighed, and marvelled at how much she had missed the sights and smells of Figaro. She ran over in her mind that first day she had escaped from the hands of the Empire into the fields of wild brush. Pretty lavender rolling across the grassy steppe. The warm sandy desert air in her face. Her first taste of true freedom.
She casually took a seat at the huge dining table and made herself comfortable. Edgar had been very insistent that this would be informal, she assured herself. Like old times. She ran a hand through her flat hair, absently. The room looked so spotless Celes was almost afraid to touch anything. Maybe she had grown too used to the ruggedness of Mobliz. The castle seemed like a whole different world. A more civilised world. She fingered the embroidered napkins, tried to understand the feeling of this place. Both missed, craved, and dreaded, if that was at all possible.
One by one, the other dinner guests casually made their appearance. Sabin rushed in with his usually nonchalant happiness, followed by Gau who nearly knocked over a flower pot in his earnest. They made their cheerful greetings and started reaching for the food, unceremoniously. Then she heard Edgar approaching with Locke. The young king looked like he had been preening himself all evening and Celes assumed that, knowing Edgar, he had indeed been doing just that. Locke walked in silently with his naturally cool, calm disposition. He seemed even more low profile than usual, she noticed. He was wearing his dark jacket.
Once everyone was settled away Edgar raised his glass. "A toast," he announced, sharply. Everyone raised the round goblets of red fluid. "To old friends together again."
"To old friends...," they echoed and clicked glasses together. Celes swirled the fine liquid in her mouth to savour the taste before swallowing it. It tasted sweet and warming.
"And to many more years of peace...," added Sabin, his smile lighting the room.
"Amen to that!", Locke spoke up, "To a hasty recovery..." A revered silence fell over the room as many thoughts turned to memories of a newer, more beautiful world.
"And for dinner tonight..." began Edgar in his finest plastic voice, "We will be serving sauteed nohrabbit with a delectable cream sauce."
"In other words.." added Sabin, robustly, "Rabbit stew"
"It is not!" retorted Edgar, "This is a very fine, high class dish. Our chefs would gasp if they heard you say that." He glared at his brother.
"Me hungry!" protested Gau, tapping the table with his fork. "Food is food. Gau like food very much."
"Yeah. let's eat, Edgar. It doesn't matter." Locke snickered at the whole scene. Edgar seemed a little ruffled.
"This is what I get for trying to be hospitable? You deeply hurt me, brother."
"Your so full of it!" Sabin laughed, "I thought this was an informal meal." He spanned the room with a wide gesture of his large, tanned arms.
"It is." Edgar added calmly, "You don't see any violins or candelabras, do you?" He finally gave in and laughed at himself. Everyone just gave him a bewildered look, then simply laughed as well. The awkward silence melted away to a more congenial atmosphere.
"Well then," Sabin turned to Celes, "How is Terra doing these days?"
"Oh, she's just great. She really wanted to come with me, you know." Celes grinned. "But she just can't tear herself away from those children. She's so good to them." She swirled her spoon through the thick waves of cream on her plate.
"Yeah, she's really something else, that Terra." Locke grinned in reminiscence. He glanced over at Celes with a warm smile but she averted her eyes slightly. Then smiled back for a fleeting moment with the thought of old memories.
~*~
That night after everyone had gotten reacquainted, Celes slunk off to bed. She was utterly worn out. All the old memories. All the happy faces. One face in particular that kept giving her that look. Locke's eyes hadn't left her all night. She wasn't sure what to think of it either. She was sure she would never understand what his eyes were trying to say, and she decided that she would rather not know. She wasn't quite over it. Over the last time....
Her thoughts were cut short because as she walked down the hall to her room. There he was. Locke was waiting by her door. She lowered her head. What did he want now? "Celes." She looked up, trying to seem startled.
"Oh, hi Locke." She looked at him puzzled, "What are you doing all the way over here."
"I need to talk to you." he whispered.
"No you don't." She said quickly, coldly, "Don't be silly. What's to talk about?"
"Celes....."
"Did you expect me to be different?"
"No, of course not. No, but...." He looked at her confused. "You treated me like just another guy. What ever happened to the way we were before...."
"Locke, that was then."
"Yes. Yes, I know, but why?" he pleaded, "What happened? I don't understand how I could lose such a close friend." Celes looked at him firmly.
"You really don't get it, do you, Locke?" she began, "Do you even remember?"
"What?" Locke tried to level with her., "I don't know what happened, Celes. I know that you left, that's all. I don't know what I could have done. Or rather what I didn't do. Does it matter? I just want to be with you that's all!"
"Locke, I don't feel this conversation is necessary." The pain she felt wasn't surfacing, leaving her face blank. "You don't realize what you are saying now."
"What did I do? Please tell me.... " Celes walked into her room leaving him staring at the door. He rubbed his flushed forehead, felt foolish and stupid for letting himself look vulnerable like this. It made him angry, but he didn't care. He pushed open the door. She was sitting on her bed. Sitting, curled up in a tight ball, she looked like a porcelain doll. He snuck in behind her and put his head on her shoulder. "Look, Celes, I don't understand, but I'm trying to fix things. Surely, you can't want this. Surely, you don't want it to be this way." He was near tears.
"Locke, get away, please" she produced each syllable, standing firmly, "Get out of here."
"Don't do this, Celes!" he cried, "I want to fix things! Make it right."
"No, Locke. Forget it." She was beyond opening up. "You have real nerve to come in here. You think you can just say a few words and make everything perfect?" Locke reached out to stroked her hair.
"Celes, please don't be this way." he got himself together, "I hate to see you upset. You mean too much to me. Didn't you want to see me? Don't you . . . need me?"
"No. I don't." Flatly. Celes pushed him away. "Get your hands off me! I don't want your sympathy anymore! I've had enough of your pity!"
"I've never pitied you." He eyed her directly with an unwaveringly intense glance, "Celes, just tell me, please. I can make things right. At least hear me out . . . "
"Get out" Celes looked at him. The icy gleam in her eye told him she meant it.
"No, Celes." he bawled, "You can't mean that. I thought we would always be together. I thought that we had something special." Celes glared at him.
"Get out" She repeated. Her look was deadly, "If you don't understand, think about our victory party and how you . . . you . . . "
"I what?!" Locke moaned, "What did I do?"
"I still can't believe that........You would......Be so crude"
"CRUDE? What does that mean? How can you say that, Celes?" He reached his hand for hers, "Don't you understand? I thought you felt the same way...."
"Locke, just get out!" she released him firmly, "And why don't you try not to assume things from now on. Try not to do that."
"Celes, please......What did I do? I don't bloody well understand." She pushed him out and slammed the door. This only set him off worse. "I didn't mean it. I wouldn't hurt you!!!!! You have to believe me, Celes!! Why would I???!!! Tell me!!! Just tell me that, would you?!" He fell to the floor and pressed against the door. "Celes, listen to me. I love you. You're my best friend. You are the only one who means anything to me. Please, let me in. Don't be angry. Don't do this."
Celes turned a deaf ear to the man she was would have once said that she loved also. He had been her best friend and ally in her Returner days. Collapsing onto her bed, she tried to forget all the good times. She didn't want to hurt herself anymore. She cried herself to sleep and remembered the last time Locke had told her he loved her.
*To be continued... *