Silence

By: Riley

Summary – It doesn't only happen to girls. Kendall just never thought it would happen to him. He has to keep quiet about it, though. It was better to suffer in silence, especially since he went through the same thing

Don't be such a baby.

It couldn't have hurt that much.

Be a man!

Kendall closed his eyes, forcing himself to turn away from the mirror that reflected his imperfections. He willed the words to go away. All the things he knew would be said about him if he ever tried to vent. He would be made fun of, ridiculed, laughed at all because he couldn't and didn't want to defend himself against her. Why would anyone think she would do that, anyway? She loved him; she promised she would never do what her father did.

And yet, he had done it again.

Pushed her buttons far enough she hit him. Kendall raised a hand up to his puffy eye, his split lip from the days before had just started to heal and now he had to worry about this too. The excuses he was going to use were already swirling around his head as he left the bathroom. It always had to be an excuse, he was playing too roughly with the guys, he caught a hockey stick to the face, or he slammed too hard to the ground while playing football.

All of that would be easily believed.

The truth, not so much.

Kendall glanced over at his girlfriend as she sat on the couch, wiping her eyes. After her hand had connected with his face she had stared at him in shock then looked at her hand as if she didn't recognize it. As if it had moved all on its own. It was only a matter of seconds until she dissolved into a mess of tears, resting her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with effort with each heart breaking breath she took in. She had apologized profusely between her sobs, and he had accepted each and every one of them. It was an accident and it as partially his fault.

"Hey," Kendall said gently, sitting down by Riley's side. "I thought I told you to stop crying." He reached out and brushed her tears away from her face. "It's OK."

"No, it's not." Riley shook her head, stubbornly looking away from him, her arms around her legs, and her chin on her upraised knees. "I mucked up. I…I didn't mean to hit you. I'm sorry, I hit you. I didn't mean to. I just wanted you to…to stop….making fun of me. I took it too far." She shook her head again, allowing her hair to hang in her face. "I always take it too far. I'm turning into him…and that scares me more than anything."

Kendall mentally winced as he re-imagined her hand flying towards his face once more, the sting of the slap, her skin meeting his in a fiery, itchy blaze. His eye immediately watered and his skin reddened, before the bruising that would form. That wasn't the part that hurt the most. What hurt the most was how terrified she was in turning into her abusive foster father. She proven the thought wrong so many times before and while he had become used to her playful punches and shoves, there were the moments where she really would hit him and become so ashamed he couldn't stand it.

What hurt worse was knowing exactly how she felt by the hands of his own father. Though there were never any physical scars from the abuse that his father had put on him when he was a little kid, before he left, the psychological scars were still there. It had been blocked for a while, until his father had shown up into his life again when he was sixteen and it all came flooding back. Instead of being scared, he had become angry and refused to meet up with him…then his defenses fell away and he very slowly allowed Kevin back into his life.

But there was always a fragment of his mind trained solely on the worry that Kevin would turn around and become the man he had been before. It was that same fragment that wondered how Riley would react when he told her what Kevin did to him. He knew it was better to reveal he had been abused as well sooner rather than later, but he could never find the right time to say it. He wasn't sure how she would react to it.

Kendall leaned over and gave Riley a kiss on the side of the head, bringing her into his arms, hugging her tightly, protecting her from the world. "It's OK, it was an accident," he murmured quietly.

How frequently did it have to happen for it not to be an accident anymore?

All he knew was right now he needed to be there for her. The very worst thing, the part that made him feel cold and empty inside was that he had gone through the same thing and he didn't know how to tell her. He wanted to be her rock, he wanted to be strong for her. How would she react when she found out that he was breaking just as badly as she was.

He had to keep his secret in silence.

A/N: I had written and posted this one-shot before then deleted it because I had some things I need to change.

I got the idea after my sisters and I were talking about there not being any TV shows about an abusive relationship where the girl is abusing the guy and from my story Yes, Mom. I've only seen ONE BTR story that has done this.

Only thing is that Riley absolutely would not beat Kendall, knowing what the two of them went through (though she doesn't know he went through it yet), it's just something that I thought would work for this one-shot. Also as it has been briefly seen in some other stories were she'd get a little rough with him and then have a tiny breakdown, wondering if she really was turning into Robert. And of course Kendall would blame himself about it while Riley would blame herself.

I hope you guys liked it.

-Riles