"Into the Dark"
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or the song used here in this piece. Simple as that.
Warnings: DEATHFIC! (I'm not great with angst so it shouldn't be too sad, but still.) Shonen-ai, dark. TWT-ish, though it's assumed this is during the series.
Archiving: If you're inclined to do so, feel free. Just let me know.
Pairings: 2+1/1+2
Author's Notes:
You can thank Boxxx for sending me this song, which made me want to hurl myself onto something sharp. Instead of doing that, I wrote a deathfic. (I hurled someone else onto something sharp. XD)
Song used here is "I Will Follow You into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie, off the 2005 album Plans.
For this fic only…
~~lyrics~~
Emphasis
~~Love of mine, some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark~~
It was just another reconnaissance mission. One that was well thought-out, and thoroughly planned. They had thought the mission to be routine and painfully domestic; their strategy foolproof.
As Duo lay on his back with his amethyst eyes unfocused, staring off into nothing, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the irony of it all.
What was it again that was said about the best-laid plans? He couldn't remember the phrase exactly, but it was apparently right.
Duo's head swam, and as deafening silence greeted him, his mind unwittingly wandered, dancing from thought to thought, memory to memory.
Despite the things he'd witnessed in his years, he couldn't say that fate had been unkind to him. After all, everything in his life had happened for a reason.
Like Solo. Without him, he likely would have remained a nameless, ratty-haired orphan boy roaming the streets, stealing to stay alive. Solo provided him with more than a name; he gave Duo a sense of self-worth and belonging. Furthermore, it was his companion's passing that inadvertently introduced the young orphan to the man who cared for him as his own son, and afforded him the opportunity to be a normal kid.
When Duo first started attending school, his only hope was to blend in. But that wasn't to be. Other boys loved to pick on him, and he endured more than his fair share of hazing. Whether it was his background or even simply the way he wore his hair, it seemed young Duo was the butt of every joke.
But, in the same way self-preservation taught him how to steal, the bullying and abuse taught him how to fight. After all, there were only so many black eyes and bloody noses one could take before they learned self-defense out of necessity.
Before long, he lost track of his own strength, and the next boy to tease him got up close and personal with the glass pane of a window as young Duo abruptly put him through it. After that, he was never challenged again.
~~If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark~~
While all the other orphans found homes, every family that took Duo in rejected him and sent him back. No one wanted a child with such a jaded view of life and so much emotional baggage at such a tender age. Even those who claimed they could handle it went on to find they weren't up to the task.
In class, his talk of 'Shinigami' earned him quite a beating. Father Maxwell was forgiving, but the Sisters didn't take kindly to such blasphemous babble. They would stare down their noses at him with a sanctimonious contempt and administer their punishment, but the headstrong young boy wouldn't be deterred. He simply would not back down.
By the time the quarter ended, Duo swore he could measure with his knuckles.
But the pain that was intended to correct him only served to bolster his defiance. The same was true of his beliefs, which were re-forged when 'Shinigami'—the same entity the church disavowed the existence of-saw fit to take from him the only people who'd treated him kindly. The only family he'd ever had.
By age eight, he had seen more death than an entire army of soldiers. Everyone he'd become close to had perished.
Duo sighed softly. Upon further contemplation, it seemed fate certainly hadn't been very kind to him, either. Still, he'd never felt bitter about it; never felt cheated. In fact, he'd taken it all in stride. It seemed that some higher power had noticed his valiance and optimism, and rewarded him with a piece of true happiness.
~~In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back~~
But even that wasn't without its fair share of irony.
For the first time in his life, Duo was in love.
…With a boy. A soldier. Specifically, his best friend.
Heero.
Originally, their friendship had a rocky start, as Heero seemed to be adamantly opposed to Duo's company. But patience was something that the braided boy had, and in time it paid off as the stoic soldier began to embrace him. Truly, they complimented each other beautifully: Duo reminded Heero he was still human, and Heero made Duo stronger.
He'd follow Heero anywhere; chase him across the galaxy or tear down the skies above to be by his side. Duo wondered if the other boy had so much as an inkling of his feelings. He supposed it didn't really matter, since Heero didn't feel mutually. Though they had established a bond in the short time they'd known one another, the American knew that in the eyes of that stoic soldier, they were partners; friends at best. And even if they were never anything more than that, Duo knew that for the first time since Solo, he had someone worth dying for in Heero.
The Deathscythe pilot drew a deep breath that reeked of metal. He hated that smell. As he lifted his hand to his face to brush a lock of his chestnut hair from his eyes, it became obvious where the scent came from. His hand was saturated in it; the scarlet liquid had even seeped under his fingernails, giving them a translucent appearance.
He hadn't thought this would happen, let alone so soon. So fast. No wonder his head was swimming.
Sleep called to him, tugging at his body; Duo found himself powerless to fight it. He let his eyes slide closed.
…
Heero traced into a dimly-lit corridor with a slow and ungraceful gait. Multiple injuries he'd sustained in the conflict made each step excruciatingly painful, but he'd concern himself with that after he found Duo. He hadn't received any contact from his partner since they had parted ways at the start of the mission. It wasn't like Duo to not communicate with him, even—and sometimes especially—when he had nothing to report. Heero feared the worst.
He staggered onward, leaving a trail of blood in his wake. The severity of his own wounds didn't matter; if it meant getting he and Duo out alive, he would force his body to persist until he was sure they had made it to safety.
But when he rounded the corner to find a black and crimson heap crumpled on the floor, he suddenly lost the will to do so.
"Duo…"
The unmistakable metallic scent of blood flooded his senses.
Duo lay limply on the floor like a broken doll adrift on a sea of scarlet, unmoving and eerily lifeless.
Heero was overcome with the sensation of profound, unshakable dread.
~~If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark~~
Duo was starting to slip into the deepest and most comfortable slumber he'd ever had when he felt something pull him back. He could've sworn he heard his name.
Hazy violet eyes flickered open to see Heero staggering toward him, blood-spattered and fraught with alarm.
"Duo!"
Expressionless and all too pale, the braided boy's face still brightened at the sound of his companion saying his name. It had always sounded best on his lips.
Heero dropped to his knees before his fallen comrade, his skin instantly staining with blood. Amethyst eyes blinked hazily up at him while he assessed the wounds, which were numerous and grave. It seemed whomever shot him had known that one bullet wouldn't bring the braided one down, so they struck him with several. And it had worked. The crisp white of Duo's collar was freckled with specks of scarlet; his familiar rope of chestnut hair lay limply beside him, bathed in the liquid which dyed it a dull maroon.
Heero's voice concealed his panic with miraculous efficacy. "Can you stand?"
Eyes sliding shut in a prolonged blink, Duo gave a small shake of his head. It was by his own sheer force of will that he was even still conscious; getting to his feet was out of the question.
"Then I'll carry you."
He moved toward the fallen pilot, but was halted by a shaky, blood-soaked hand on his arm and a single murmured word: "Go."
Heero gave a simple shake of his head. "Not without you."
The violet-eyed boy inhaled shakily. "You're gonna have to go this one alone, buddy…"
A pause, filled with deafening silence.
"…I'm sorry."
~~You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms~~
Cobalt blue eyes wrenched shut as they began to sting and burn for some inexplicable reason. Were these tears? He didn't know; he hadn't cried since he was a boy. He hadn't had a reason to. There had been no one that warranted his tears. Yet, as he looked upon the ever-bright face of his fading partner, he couldn't seem to contain them.
They had seen and done together, saving each other; protecting one another. Heero had gone from being put off by Duo's company to becoming accustomed to him, and trusting him. It was that trust which ultimately gave birth to love. As their companionship continued, the bond between them strengthened, and their feelings for one another unwittingly grew. Duo's charm and tenacity earned him a spot in his stoic partner's heart that he could never express the true depth and meaning of. Heero was certain that he would follow the boy to the ends of the Earth, or break down the very gates of Hell if it meant being with him.
He thought perhaps his braided companion felt similarly. Even so, there simply hadn't been a right moment or method to tell another boy he loved him. But he had thought there was time for that yet.
He was wrong.
As he stared into the half-lidded, hazy violet eyes of the boy who was his best friend, partner, and the one he loved, he felt guilt overtake him. Guilt from shoving the boy away like he had; from all the unkind things he'd said and done to him; from the unspoken words his companion would never get to hear, and…
…Duo's shaky hand came to rest atop Heero's, stilling his thoughts.
"It'll be okay," the long-haired boy breathed hoarsely, attempting to pull his lips into a smile for the one he loved.
~~If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark~~
But it wouldn't be. Heero knew that.
He drew in a breath to speak, but a sudden surge of pain took it from him as it reminded him of the gravity of his own wounds.
As his battered body gave way, coming to rest beside the form of his blood-soaked companion, Heero didn't fight. It was just as well, he mused, since he had no desire to stray Duo's side, even if that meant leaving this life behind.
Violet eyes looked distant; open, but unseeing. As the trembling began to overtake the rest of his body, Heero could take no more. He curled an arm over the boy, doing the best he could to draw him near and still his shivering. Duo's head turned, nestling into the shelter of Heero's embrace. The cobalt-eyed boy could feel his love's frame contort as he struggled with each breath. Duo's skin grew cold, but his soul had never felt so warm…so alight.
"I love you, Heero…" the braided boy's once husky voice was a mere choked whisper, ragged and wavering with the uncontrolled vibrations of his body.
Heero drew in a deep breath, the sweet scent of the boy's chestnut hair overpowering the metallic smell of blood, just the way he'd always imagined it would.
"Aishiteru, Duo."
Safe within the protective grasp of the one he loved, Duo's amethyst eyes slid shut, the flame behind them extinguished forevermore. Heero held him until he was no longer there.
And when Duo's soul ascended, he followed.
~~Then I'll follow you into the dark~~
~OWARI~
AN: I've gotta give some credit to the song "Without You" from Rent, which really helped me finish this piece. If you're ever in the mood to bawl, look it up.
I really hope this piece didn't confuse anyone, because I like the way it turned out in terms of content and the sequence of events.