Pity, Pity

This is my pity story so it's not like you have to listen. I just want it to be heard because it can be. Maybe it's sad and has a lot of pain involved but that's just how my life was and is.

Ten years ago, I had parents, a wonderful house, a fun-filled life and happy times. I hadn't really cared much of the time about how I spent my free time. I didn't put too much thought into who I spent it with or what I did with it, just that it existed at the moment. Life had become materialistic and revolved around all the things in life money could buy. My mother and father were loving parents and we loved them too. There were no dark tragedies or ignorance as there was in most of the rich families I knew.

My brother Luki and I were identical twins. No one could tell us apart, not even our parents. He was very attached to me and asking me questions. Even though I'm actually the younger one, I feel like I'm older than he is. He reminded me of a lost puppy. I also found out that Luki...

Luki loved me.

A lot.

I remember the particular day when e told me about it. The exact time when we were only sixteen. I knew about his many playthings at such a young age and his multiple relationships with varying girls. He - at the time - liked sleeping around. It disgusted me at first, making me angry at him to the point of ignoring him, which we do very little. Then he'd pester me, telling me he would change. He's my brother, why'd you think I believed him? After a few years, I just...accepted it.

Now, I really think I shouldn't have.

"Luka," he pushed me gently.

"Hmm?" I continued looked at the blue sky as I swung towards it.

"Do you have someone you like?"

I smiled. "Of course."

He slowed down. "You...you do?"

"Of course I do, silly." The really cute boy, Leon. He was the class clown, making me laugh an telling jokes. He transferred in from England but was originally from Japan. I'd grown accustomed to him after a while. His witty jokes, blond hair and emerald eyes were just a bonus.

"Is that so?" Luki stopped pushing me.

"Yeah."

"Well..." he put his arms around me unexpectedly and buried his face in my shoulder. "You can't. I won't let you."

"Onii-chan?"

"I've seen you with other boys," he continued in my ear. "I don't like it."

I rolled my eyes. So he was worried about that." Luki, gosh. You don't have to be an overbearing brother. It's nothing serious. Nothing like what you do."

He tightened his arms. "Do you...did you ever notice me? As another boy?"

"You're brother silly," I was only slightly worried at this point. "You'll never be just 'another boy' Luki."

I could feel his smile on my shoulder. "Really? That's fine with me."

He let go of me and went around to stand in front of me, smirking just the slightest bit. I blinked a few times. "L...Luki?"

"Forgive me, Luka."

I didn't even have time to gasp when suddenly he pulled me close, closing the distance between our lips. I just sat there in a daze. It felt so surreal to me. Everything he was doing while I sat so defenseless and vulnerable. How long had he felt this way? How long had he been holding these feelings back? How long...? How long...?

It was only when I fell back onto the ground did I come to my senses.

"Luki!" I turned my head with a gasp. "What're you doing?"

He was above me, the swing empty now. His face was slightly flushed and his eyes mirroring my own. He licked his lips. "I love you, Luka. More than anyone."

"Y-you...we're..."

"I know you better than anyone else." Luki leaned over. "I know your weaknesses and strength, your favorite food a-and your favorite color. Luka, there's no one else that makes me feel this way. It's only you. You. You." he gave me a crooked smile. One that fooled so many others. He pressed his face to my chest. "I'm in love with you, Luka."

After that incident, I found myself deliberately avoiding him. During lunch, I'd go to my room and locking the door behind me, taking showers when he wasn't around...I was so confused. I didn't understand why my older brother would do something like that. My sweet, kind and caring older brother. The one who was my hero. The one that was always kind to me.

He began going out more and more, coming home less and less. Mom and dad couldn't stop him so they turned to me, clueless about the incident. They went to town one night, attending a meeting for their company. I was too careless for thinking he'd actually not come back tonight.

"Is it wise leaving her alone?" My mother, Sakura, had always worried about my well-being. "I trust her but Luki..."

"Luka's strong, Sakura." My father, Shotaru, always believed in me. "Luka understands what we cannot."

My mother's eyes...they were such a beautiful blue. If you looked in them long enough, you'd feel as if you were drowning in an endless sea of beauty. They were the most beautiful when she was happy. And her smile was a glowing ray of sunshine, warming me to the very core. I always found warmth and comfort in my mother. There's nothing like a mothers loving embrace to make you feel so safe.

"Luka," my father put a hand on
my shoulder. "We'll be back soon. Your mother and I will try to be quick. Just watch out for Luki and give him that sisterly advice of yours. He always listens to you."

I smiled and hugged him, my skirt swishing. "I'm sixteen, dad. I'll knock some sense into him."

"Don't be too rough on him, dear." My mother gave me a brief kiss on the forehead. "Be safe."

"I will," I smiled as them both and handed them their coats from the closer. "Now hurry and maybe you'll be back before it becomes too late."

"My, my," she put her coat on as my father opened the door. "Luka's grown up so much already."

"As expected dear," he gently led her out. He turned back to me as I paused in the doorframe. "Be sure to give your brother a long lecture, Luka. I know I can count on you."

"I got it dad," I waved to them. "Have a safe trip!"

As soon as I tuned away from the door, the lights turned off. "Finally they left."

I pressed my back into the door subconsciously, reaching for the doorknob quietly. "L-Luki...we..I thought you left."

I saw a flash of his smile through the dimness. "I came back, didn't I?" he put an arm above me. "Were you worried about me?"

I too this moment to slip away from him and run. My room! My room! My thoughts screamed to me. If I can get to my room I'll be safe for the remainder of the night. Mom and dad left moments ago but I wanted them back more than anything.

"Gotcha," I yelped when I was suddenly grabbed from behind.

I began kicking and pushing his arms to let me go. "L-Luki! Please! Let me go!"

He only tightened his grip and walked to his room across from mine. Luki shut the door and locked it behind him before continuing to the bed. I continued struggling, my screams muffled by his hand. He set me down surprisingly gentle and smiled at me. My mind went fuzzy but for a moment.

"Shh," he patted my head like he did many times before when we were children.

I wiped brusque tears from my eyes and sat up, sniffling. I didn't want to be so weak. I was almost powerless at the moment. It seemed so unfair that I was always this say. He took my face in his hands and kiss the corner of my eyes.

"A magic spell for the crybaby," he whispered pressing his forehead go mine. "Darumpu, darimpu. Now you cannot cry."

I would've laughed if this situation wasn't so scary. Did he really remember all those lines from our old games? They were only made up magic 'spells' I cast on him whenever he needed one. All those years...and I never noticed. This side of Luki was new to me.

"See?" He laughed quietly. "No more tears".

I pushed him away roughly and pulled my knees to my chest. "Get away from me."

"I can't do that " he came closer the room only lit by the light streaming in from his window. "Every time I'm with you, I feel happy. I get feelings an older brother shouldn't have but I can't help it. Luka...the things you do to me..."

"You're scaring me," I admitted in a small voice. "Stop it."

He twirled a strand of my hair. "I love your expressions. Your happy ones, your sad ones, your angry ones..." he leaned against me. "But I've never seen your scared ones. You look cute."

I covered my face. "Go away, Luki."

"And your voice is so soft " he whispered.

I swallowed and stopped talking.

"Ahh~ she stopped talking," he sounded like a little kid. He tilted my chin up to his face. "Luka...look at me."

My eyes were closed and pooling with tears again. They slid from the corner of my eyes as I trembled. Luki brushed them away with his thumb and pushed my legs down as my resolve weakened. He took one of my hands and kissed each finger.

"Looks like the spell was broken." he whispered pushing me down. His knee became lodged between my legs as he steadily leaned his body onto mine. "Darumpu, darimpu. Tonight you'll be mine."

[A/N]: Oh sh!t...gendercest it is, I guess. I've just written this randomly and look where it give...nowhere. God, I still love this pairing too however odd it is...egad, I'm just so frickin' ridiculous sometimes! I'm just getting lazy too...well I don't own Vocaloid. Bye. Ciao. Tschus. Sayonara. Adios. Peace.

~kitana411