Hey everyone! I'm back! I know I haven't updated 'At the Bottom of Everything' and 'Sin City' in a couple of weeks but I promise I will! I'm kind of at a block right now, so I need some inspiration... and this was too good to pass up.
IMPORTANT: READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING.
Alright, so this came from a forum over at tvdotcom, where everyone came up with really short B/B imaginations on how they get together. These short mini-ficlets go from naughty, kinky, occasionally fluffy, ridiculous, and all out OOC. All credit will be given to the originial authors, so in your reviews, PLEASE don't compliment me, unless the ficlet was written by me or my friend who is going to help me out here, Angel. So without further ado... The Kinky & Naughty Forum.
--All of the following are by 'BonesBBaddict'--
Booth, Brennan, Ange and Zack are gathered on the platform, looking over the most recent set of remains.
Ange: "Hey Zack, have you got your hands back on Naomi yet?"
Zack: "No. I decided to wait for Naomi to approach me."
Ange: "Uh... why? What the hell is that ever going to achieve?"
Zack: "I thought it was socially appropriate for a man to wait for a woman to shift the relationship from one of platonic interest to sexual."
Ange: "Zack! That is no way to get the girl! Where are you getting this?"
Zack: "From Agent Booth."
Booth's head snaps up: "Wh-what?? Nu-uh Ange, don't look at me! The kid knows that he and I, we don't talk about, you know, sex, woman... or anything that could bring on images of him...you know...doing things."
Ange: "Man's got a point Zack."
Zach: "But, Agent Booth's behaviour indicates that he is in love with Dr. Brennan, but he is yet to make a conscious effort to change their relationship. From this I concluded that I should do that same."
Booth and Brennan both stare at Zack, mouths agape, trying to believe what he just said.
Ange: "Hmm, I can see how you drew that conclusion. Okay, but Zack, whilst that... 'method'... obviously works very well for Booth..-cough-.. I think that you could benefit from taking a more direct approach. Let's indulge in a little show and tell."
Walking over to Booth and Brennan, Ange perches herself in the very small space between them.
Ange: "Now, instead of doing nothing-" raising her hands, she motions to the length of Booth's body, " you should be reaching out to grab what you want with both hands."
Reaching in front of Booth, she grabs both his hands and thrust them forward - "THWACK!" - effectively leaving Booth with two handfuls of Brennan's behind.
Ange: "See?"
Zack (pondering): "Direct approach... yes, as you demonstrated, the desired outcome is more readily achieved... Thanks Angela."
They wander off, Zack lost in his thoughts. Ange is stopped by Hodgins a short distance from the stairs.
Hodigns: "What are you looking so pleased about?"
Ange, grinning: "Oh, just my incredible ability to kill two birds with one stone..."
Hodgins, looking shocked, as he notices the partners: "What did you do to them?!"
Glancing up, Ange grins as she looks upon the two, still frozen in the exact same position she left them in, Booths hands firmly glued to Brennan's backside.
Ange: "Oh just a little demonstration for Zack's benefit... and mine. I showed hi--"
"THWACK"
Spinning around, they see a shocked Naomi, with slightly apprehensive looking Zach attached to her rear.
Ange: "well, that."
Cam strolls up to Ange and Hodgins, a frightened and bewildered look on her face: "I'm gone for 5 minutes and... you know what? Sometimes its' better for your sanity to just not know why. Coffee?"
The threesome exit, leaving the other two shell-shocked couples still frozen in place, and when they return 20 minutes later, not much has changed.
--
Brennan: "Ugghh.."
Angela: "You okay sweetie?"
Brennan: "Yes, it's just I don't seem to be sleeping well lately, my back has been awfully sore. I think I may need a new mattress."
Angela, developing a devious look in her eyes: "Well Bren, you could just, you know, swap one Sealy for another Seeley... if you know what I mean.."
Booth, starting to redden: "Angela! Tha... that's just... you..you can't... uh.."
Brennan: "You know, she has a point..."
Booth, regaining control of his voice, though his cheeks are still flushed: "Yes Bones, but I don't think you realize just what point she is making ..."
Brennan, looking Booth directly in the eyes: "Actually Booth, for once I know exactly what she means..."
Booth's jaw drops before he recovers, grabs Brennan's hand and begins to drag her from the platform
Booth, shouting back at the squints: "Alright, Bones and I are taking lunch, a long lunch in fact...a very very long lunch... if you need to call us, DON'T!"
Zach, oblivious as usual, doesn't look up from the remains but mumbles: "I hope they bring me back something"
Hodgins snorts, as Angela adds: "No sweetie, no you don't."
--
Booth walks through the Jeffersonian to his partner's office, where she is sitting chatting with Angela.
Booth: "Hey Bones, lets go get some food, I'm starv...ah, Bones, what is that?"
Brennan: "What is what?"
Booth: "What is that!"
Brennan: "A monkey Booth, what does it look like?"
Booth: "Yes I realize it's a monkey, Bones... hahaha monkeybones..." pausing, he chuckles to himself for a few moments, whilst Brennan and Angela stare at him oddly. "..uh, anyway, my point is, why is it here?"
Brennan glances up from the animal that has attached itself to her torso and looks at Booth.
Brennan:"I bought it."
Booth: "You bought it."
Brennan: "Yes, that's what I said. Are you okay?" she asks him, as he stares at her like she's insane.
Angela pipes up, with an amused look on her face: "What's wrong Booth, jealous that you're not the hairy beast wrapped around Bren's body?"
Booth: "A little..."
Angela, mumbling: "oh… I wasn't expect-"
Brennan: "Ange, take the monkey, the monkeys yours, take it, take it, TAKE IT!!"
Brennan jumps up and throws the monkey onto Angela as she launches herself onto Booth and kisses him hungrily.
--
Brennan: "I'm sure Rebecca isn't your only option for satisfying biological urges"
Booth raises his eyebrows and leans in to kiss Brennan
Booth: "Oh really..."
Brennan jumps back
Brennan: "Oh no, sorry, Booth, I... I meant Zack... he is the one who I thought could help you satisfy your urges"
Booth's face drops and he walks off dejectedly.
Brennan: "I can only help you in the hot kinky-sex department..."
Booth: "GiddyUp!"
--
Angela: "Hey Bren, you got any plans tonight?"
Brennan: "Yes actually, Booth is coming over and we are going to make pudding"
Angela: "Is that what you kids are calling it these days..."
--
Booth and Brennan are sitting at their usual table in the Royal Diner. Booth takes a huge mouthful of pie and tries to chew it...
Brennan: "Booth, what time is it?"
Booth: "Tyiime ta gab ai mwratch brrones"
Brennan leans forward and Booth jumps, swallowing his pie
Booth: "Bones! I said time to get a watch not time to grab my crotch!"
Brennan: "Oh sorry..."
...
Booth: "Did I say that it was time to stop??...
--
Sully enters the Jeffersonian and finds Booth, Brennan and the squints in Brennan's office.
Sully: "Tempe, I bought a bought and I leave tomorrow. I want you to come with me"
Brennan: "No"
Sully: "What?? Why??"
Brennan: "Because you are annoying and stupid and nowhere near as hot and sexy as Booth"
Booth: "Truth hurts dude... learn from it and grow"
Booth grabs Brennan and kisses her madly as Sully runs off sobbing and wailing like the little girl he is.
--
Booth, Brennan and Zack are examining the latest set of remains.
Zack: "The damage to the right distal radius suggests that she was reaching for something when she was hit... perhaps for the murder weapon"?
Brennan: "I think your right Zack. Her attacker was a cop, which could imply that she was reaching for his holster"
Brennan reaches over to demonstrate the action on Booth
Booth: "Bones! I've told you before; don't put your hands on my gun!
Brennan: "that's not what you said last night..."
Booth growls
Zack faints.
--
Booth runs full speed into Brennan's office...
Booth: Bones!! Bones!! Quick!! I have a case!!
Brennan gets up hurriedly and rushes over, panicking
Brennan: Okay, sure Booth.. what... what is it??
Booth: (grins) A case of The Luuuuuuuuuuurrrve
Shoves Brennan against the window and ravishes her.
--
Review Review Review!! Up next, we have the author tvdaydreamer.
-Lilly