drsexy, a twilight fanfic

Bella

It occurred to Bella suddenly one evening that Dr. Cullen had an expressive face for a man that hid so many secrets. Pale and nearly statuesque in every angle, Carlisle Cullen was beautiful, much like her Edward. Though his eyes were now a rich amber shade that also belonged to the members of his family, Bella knew just by looking at him that his eyes had once been blue. Bright blue like cool water, dripping with life. He was no more beautiful this day than he had been any other but here as they sat in the dinning room, talking amiably amongst themselves as Bella ate, it became an inescapable and undeniable fact.

The way his eyes closed and his nose crinkled just a bit whenever he threw his head back slightly to laugh. The way he held back a chuckle at Alice's expense by pulling his rosy pink lip in between his perfectly shaped white teeth. The soft smile that tugged at the corner of his lips whenever he turned to his wife and tucked a stray wisp of russet hair behind her ear, conveying his feelings to her with more than just a touch, but silently professing his love for Esme with every second of undisturbed eye contact.

Bella had no idea what their hands did, cloaked in secrecy underneath the crisp linen covered table. She imagined they held hands, resting gently on Esme's beautiful teal skirt. Nothing tawdry or obscene, he was first and foremost a family man and his wife exuded elegance effortlessly. Bella could see that Carlisle treasured his family, he treasured his family and with and with a fresh wave of envy that tugged at her heart, she made a wish that fell upon her mind like a whisper.

' Treasure me too.'

And not to be mistaken in the way a father treasures his daughter, for Bella had a father of her own that suited her paternal needs just fine. No, Bella yearned to be treasured by Carlisle Cullen like a man treasures a woman. Like a man treasures his woman. She could imagine with great detail being held against his body, her soft heated flesh against his cooler, harder body. His hand, the same hands that now twiddled with the edge of the napkins on the table before them would press ever so delightfully into the skin of her back, His fingers would imprint themselves and make his desire known, more than just the call of the lust but the want – the need to be close. Her head would be thrown back in rapture, eyes closed gently with lips parted and waiting for his to meet her once more. The scent of their desire would be heavy in the thick air as he whispers his sweet promises of immense pleasure and completion soon to come in a smooth deep voice that wraps itself around her like the embrace of his strong arms. His lips would be pressed against her pulse that beats wildly but not in fear that he will take her life by tearing her flesh, but in fear that he would kill her this day by stopping. Don't ever stop. So near but still not close enough and she needed him.

' so much closer.'

Bella could barely suppress her need to look away. Turning her head away as the blush bloomed across her cheeks, giving her Edward and embarrassed half smile as she inwardly berated herself for daring to have such traitorous thoughts while the love of her life sat just mere inches away from her. Though Edward was eternally frustrated by his inability to read her mind, Bella had never been more grateful. She couldn't imagine the hurt this would cause if Edward had even been allowed even a brief flicker of the carnal images that had enthralled her just moments ago.

Jasper was the first to notice it. And the smile he sent her spoke more than just his detection of her embarrassment. He looked at her and then back at Edward – knowingly. And however accurately he picked up on her feelings of pure arousal, Jasper could not have been more mistaken by assuming that these feelings were directed towards Edwards. While it wasn't often that Bella had the opportunity to prove many of the Cullen clan wrong about anything, this was one delusion she would gladly let Jasper keep. Why would he assume she would feel such such a strong want for anyone other than Dear Edward? Would would anyone assume that?

She loved him, after all. And these feelings for Carlisle, no matter how shameful and treacherous, did nothing to change her feelings for Edward. The thought of being without Edward filled her with an immediate panic. He was an attentive companion but his unwillingness to take her as his lover had left her with a resentment towards him that she desperately tried to contain. It wasn't his fault – it was fear. She knew he loved her more than his whole life and though the knowledge should have made this irrational anger dissipate, they only grew as her did her needs.

She was only human after all. She was young and this young body was filled with wants. With deeps unsettling wants that wreaked havoc upon her feelings. She had never been this overcome with such desires before but Edward had cursed her with a kiss that left her yearning.

And she would beg him no more. She couldn't stand to see the guilt on his face when he had to deny her. But she couldn't deny herself either, and these insidious feeling for the man Edward considered his father that started with brief glanced that noted with platonic admiration had developed into calculated opportunities in which she could gaze freely and undisturbed and store these precious seconds to later recall upon whenever the want became tough to bear.

Heat rose to her cheeks once more and she looked up from her plate to find Emmett smiling at her kindly, a wide grin that warmed her heart each time. "Bella." he said with some sympathy. " You don't have to be embarrassed. We know you have to eat."

' Oh Emmett,' Bella mused ' What a sweetheart.' before inwardly thanking him for the perfectly reasonable excuse to be embarrassed. She turned to Jasper covertly, noticing his face revealed nothing though she knew for a fact he knew more than Emmett did.

"Bella!" Alice's twinkling voice chimed in with her ever dramatic outrage. "You know we don't mind sitting here while you eat!" Her amber eyes were wide with the boundless excitement that fueled her. Emmett nodded and gestured towards Esme.

"Yeah Bells!" He boomed, ignoring Bella's cringe at that horrid nickname. "Why do you think Esme made this? You don't want to hurt her feelings by not finishing this up!" To which Esme replied with a sheepish smile in Bella's direction. If she still had the ability to blush, Bella imagined Esme was just as nervous as she was.

"I—I, you're right," Bella stumbled before turning to Esme with a rueful smile. "I love it, Esme" Bella breathed. "Thank you."

Bella barely blinked at the sudden cool sensation on the back of her hand as she knew without looking that Edward had tucked her smaller warmer one into his own, stone hand. She looked up to him and smiled and he rewarded her with a crooked grin of his own. And instantly her feelings of shame had vanished, Edward could clear her mind like no other and made everything else seem trivial.

If she kept her eyes on him for the rest of the evening, Bella was sure she could survive this dinner.

"Because God forbid, Edward forgets to feed his pet." Rosalie mumbled as she tended pointlessly to her finger nails. They were probably perfect as was the rest of her but she wouldn't have been Rosalie if she'd just participated in the casual conversation like the rest of them. Bella winced softly at the remark, despite a few harmless barbs, Bella had truly believed she and Rosalie had began to make ways of progress.

She felt Edward tense immediately at her side and placed a calming hand his wrist. Not only had Rosalie not bothered to look up to see the outrage on her brother's face she had not even moved from her space, tucked in Emmett's side to see the annoyed glare he shot her himself.

"Naturally, I expect you to apologize to Bella for your rudeness, Rosalie." Esme's soft voice pierced through the silencing, bearing the motherly disappointed edge to her tone that Bella imagine Rosalie was not often addressed with. And Rosalie confirmed Bella's belief by opening both caramel eyes wide and snapping into an upright position, taking in the highly unamused faces of her family members seated around the table. Edward, in particular.

It wasn't the words, but what they meant and the implication fell on all the Cullens leaving them in a deep pensive silence.

By calling Bella his pet, Rosalie had not only demoted Bella from being less than worthy of their company as a human in her eyes but she also implied that she were something to bide Edwards times. Something he would soon grow tired of, and toss when boring.

It had made Bella feel like a burden, bothersome and unwanted.

Rosalie met eyes with Bella, and to Bella's shock, she was met with Rosalie's complete horror in the situation. If no one else, she had always counted on her husband to take her side no matter what hurtful words spewed past her pretty red lips.

" It's not like it's a secret," Rosalie began, straightening her spine before crossing her arms across her chest in clear defensive posture. "She's practically fainting and falling left and ri--"

" That's enough, Rosalie." Bella turned around to the bored voice that had interrupted Rosalie's rant to validate her actions. The first time Carlisle had ever admonished Rosalie for her comments towards Bella, his tone had been sharp and stern and not allowing for any argument. However, today his voice was calm and unamused. As he assured her one day, she did it for attention. Bella's heart fluttered at the comedic edge to his voice that screamed. "Sing a new song, Rosalie!"

Bella looked across the table and to her own horror and immense pleasure, Carlisle had flashed her a genuine grin and sealed it with a wink before turning back to Alice who continued her story of Fork's tale in which yet another student meets their ultimate social death.

But Carlisle had winked at her.

At her.

"Treasure me" Bella pleaded silently before turning to Edward, and squeezing his hand and the guilt ate at her heart.

"But don't worry about anything, Bells. What's meant to be, will be." He nudged my chin up, but his hand lingered. Very, very slowly, almost torturously, he began to lean in.

"My breath hitched, "Carlisle…", but I was also leaning in.

"Don't fight it Bella." He closed the gap between us and I melted into him. It was perfect. His smell of linen and leather. My hands found their way to his gorgeous hair and tangled into the locks. We had completely crushed into each other.

Suddenly Carlisle was a foot away and finishing up the stitches on my arm.

"Wha-?"

'Edward' he mouthed. Sure enough, Edward walked in ten seconds later.

"Ready to go, Bella?" he asked in an emotionless tone. Unaware what had been happening not two minutes ago.

"I think it would be best if I brought her home son. There is still a lot of blood on her." Carlisle winked at me discretely.

"Whatever." Edward hissed, then stomped to his room and slammed the door. I was in shock. Edward had never acted like such a - a brat.

Carlisle saw my amazement and chuckled. "Don't worry about him. He always throws little temper tantrums. Ready to leave?"

It was when we started driving away from the house that I fully realized what had happened. How could I make out with Edwards father?! Oh God, what about Esme?!?!

I started to hyperventilate. Carlisle took hold of my hand and was rubbing soothing circles on it. "Shh. Calm down Bella. It will all be fine. We're going to talk this whole thing out." Almost instantly I calmed. Dam! Why don't I react this way with Edward?!

We pulled up to my house and he materialized at my door. "Let's go on a walk and talk about everything." I nodded. He took my hand and led me down the path into the woods. We sat down on a tree log.

For some reason I didn't regret what we'd done, just worried about Edward and Esme, and I felt nervous. Nervous it would never happen again. "Carlisle," I loved saying his name, "what happened back there? How could we do that to Edward and Esme?"

He took hold of both my hands, I started to pull away, then stopped. His hands felt so right on mine. "Esme and I were only together out of convenience. We have never truly loved each other in that way, she's more of a best friend to me than anything else. She knows I have feelings for you and supports it." He gently kissed each of my loved him, after all. And these feelings for Carlisle, no matter how shameful and treacherous, did nothing to change her feelings for Edward. The thought of being without Edward filled her with an immediate panic. He was an attentive companion but his unwillingness to take her as his lover had left her with a resentment towards him that she desperately tried to contain. It wasn't his fault – it was fear. She knew he loved her more than his whole life and though the knowledge should have made this irrational anger dissipate, they only grew as her did her wasn't the words, but what they meant and the implication fell on all the Cullens leaving them in a deep pensive silence.

But Carlisle had winked at her.

At her.

"Treasure me" Bella pleaded silently

What about Edward? He loves me. I love him?" It sounded like a question, though I didn't mean it that way, did I?

"Edward told you a little about the Volturi, right?"

"Yeah"

"Well," Carlisle began, "Marcus, one of the rulers has two special gifts. First, he can tell what the relationship truly is between two people. Second, he can pinpoint anyone he wants in the world and view them. When I first realized my feelings for you I called him and asked if he could view yours and Edwards relationship."

"And?" I prompted.

He looked at me carefully, then continued. "He told me you did not really love each other, that you relationship was one based on fascination and addiction. Does that make sense to you?" Yes, I knew that was what it was for a long time now, I just never said anything since I didn't want to lose the family I had come to love and depend on.

"That doesn't change the fact that Edward at least thinks he's in love with me."

"Bella, you've only ever really seen the parts of Edwards personality he wants you to. He is my son and I love him, but he truly is a selfish, self-important, brat. Now, that brings me to what I next asked Marcus. I asked him what our relationship was, or could be." I couldn't look him in the eye. I was still processing everything. He dropped my hands to put both on either side of my face, forcing me to look at him.

"C-Carlisle," I started, "don't tell me yet. I need to think all this through. Wait, why hasn't Edward read all this in your mind?"

"Oh, I reckon he has. He just refuses to believe, or accept any of it."

We were mere inches away. I couldn't help it, I kissed him with all the passion I could muster. His tongue traced my lower lip and I opened eagerly. There was just something in the way his hands felt on me, how our bodies melted together. It was like we had this harmonic connection that no one else could ever understand.

Before I knew it he was pushing me against a tree. He didn't touch me like I was going to break, nor was he rough, more like he wanted me to know it was him giving me pleasure.

I pulled away to breathe and he began kissing my neck. "Carlisle." I half moaned half whispered.

"Bella." he replied, attacking my mouth again. We needed to stop before this went to far, though part of me wanted it to. Carlisle picked up on my reluctance and pulled away a little. "Bella, honey, I'm sorry if I made you feel put upon."

I laughed at the old expression, "No, its not that, just I have no idea what to do. I need to think, but for some reason I want you to stay with me forever, never leaving my side, and it scares the shit out of me."

"I understand. Here." he handed me a cell phone, "call me when you're ready to talk some more, my number is programmed into it. Please call me as soon as you know what you want to do." I nodded and pocketed the phone.

We walked back to my house in silence, Carlisle never letting go of my hand. "Goodnight beautiful." he whispered, kissing me on the cheek before disappearing into that night

Dad? I'm home." I walked into the living room where Charlie was watching a baseball game.

"Was it fun? Bell, what happened to your arm?"

I glanced down at my bandages, that part of the night seems like it was a hundred years away. "I fell on a vase." I shrugged. Charlie laughed, "I'm going to bed Dad, night."

"Night and happy birthday." I groaned, though I really was not that upset about getting older anymore, strange.

Once I was in my room, I changed to pajamas and sat down in the rocking chair to think. So, Carlisle has feelings for me. Edward thinks he loves me. I… I have feelings for Carlisle; but what should I do?

"Carlisle," I sighed and started to think of him. The way his body seemed to form perfectly together with mine, how his attitude and personality just clicked with me. He didn't hate what he was; to the contrary, he enjoyed it and used it to his advantage. He didn't treat me like a weak, fragile little human he must take care of, but like a strong, beautiful woman he respected. Like I was his equal. I'd made my decision.

Once I heard Charlie go to bed I grabbed the phone and called Carlisle; he answered on the first ring.

"Hello Bella." Even over the phone his voice put my stomach in knots.

"Hi Carlisle. I've made my decision. Can you come over so we can talk?" I was afraid he'd changed his mind.

"Of course, I'll be there in five. Bye beautiful."

"Bye." I hung up and opened up the window to wait for him.

C POV***

I couldn't believe how fast it all happened. Even with what Marcus had said, I didn't fully trust it to be true.

When I walked into the house, everyone was waiting for me in the kitchen. "What's going on?" I asked.

Jasper looked at me curiously - probably in response to all the love I was feeling - and said, "Edward called a family meeting."

I sat down, "What's on your mind son?" I was careful to block my thoughts so he didn't know what I had just done with Bella.

"We're leaving here for Bella's safety. Tomorrow at the latest. She doesn't deserve to be in danger of us all the time. She'll be upset at first of course, but over time she will realize it is for the best and that we were bad for her." He was so serious. I can't believe he thought we would all agree.

I was the first to speak. "No, Edward. We will not be leaving. Don't you know Bella at all? She would never stop beating herself up, wondering why we up and left." I was getting angry now. "Knowing her, she will just end up in an even more dangerous situation with dangerous people without us." I'd just found her, nothing could make me leave. "I will not let you rip this family away from the woman I love." Bugger, I guess the cats out of the bag.

Alice squealed, Emmett laughed, Esme smiled, jasper shook his head, and Rosalie was in shock. Edward growled and barred his teeth, "How could you do that much with her?! You could've killed her! She is not yours!" Bullocks, I forgot to block my thoughts.

I sighed, "Edward, she knows now that you don't truly love each other. She knows all that's between you is fascination and addiction. Please son, just accept it and let her go."

Edward growled but did not attack, "I am no longer your son. I'm leaving; tell Bella I hope she's happy." with that he disappeared out the window. Everyone looked at me with questioning eyes.

Before I could say one word, my phone rang. It was Bella. "Hello Bella."

"Hi Carlisle. I've made my decision. Can you come over so we can talk?" She sounded a bit afraid for some reason. I could be there in twenty seconds, but I decided I should have a quick chat with my family.

"Of course, I'll be there in five. Bye beautiful." I can picture her blushing at my compliment and smile.

"Bye." I close the phone and turn to my family.

Emmett grins, "Not bad Pops. So how long have you and Hells Bells had this thing?"

I chuckled at his nickname for her. "Actually Em, only since today when I was fixing up her arm. I have loved her for some time now, but I have no idea how deep her feelings for me are yet. Esme is the only one who knew until now."

"Do you truly love her?" Rosalie asked.

I smiled, "Jazz, will you show everyone how I felt when I came in?" I watched everyone's face as they felt it. "Do I have your blessings?"

They all nodded, a little taken aback by how much love I felt. Alice's eyes glazed over and she winked at me. "I'll call the hospital to let them know you won't be coming in tomorrow. Now get going Pops."

I happily complied. As I was leaving I heard Emmett yell, "Tell Hells Bells I'm not gonna call her mom!"

B POV ***

I glanced at my clock, it had only been two minutes. Sighing in frustration, I began to add numbers I knew to the phone Carlisle had given me. I was on Jacob when I felt a cool hand on my and smelt the unmistakable sent that is Carlisle.

"I hope you don't like this Jacob more than me." he teased, "I would hate to have o teach him his place."

I turned around and smiled up at him. "Hey you."

He grabbed my hand and held it to his face, kissing my palm sweetly. "Why did you sound afraid on the phone?" I blushed and looked down, "Hey, look at me," he pulled my chin up, "don't be embarrassed, I will never make fun of you." he sat down on the bed and pulled me next to him. "Well?"

As I finally looked into his eyes, all my fears and questions vanished. It was just him and me, no one else in the world mattered. "I was afraid you'd changed your mind and didn't want me anymore."

Carlisle kissed my hand again, "Oh Bella, you need never be afraid of that. Before we continue, I need to tell you what has happened at the house."

"Is everyone okay?"

"Yes they are okay, but Edward wanted us all to leave Forks for your safety."

Anger flashed over me. "That fucktard! How could he, for one second, even think-" I was cut off by Carlisle's lips crashing into mine. I tried to hold on to the anger, but it was impossible.

"Now," he began once we broke the kiss, "Edward left but the rest of us are staying. I accidentally let slip that I, well, that I'm in love with you Bella." YAY!

"I'm in love with you too Carlisle." I whispered before kissing him hard. With that one kiss, I knew we belonged together. Finally we had to pull apart, there was still so much more to be said. "So, Edward just left? No goodbye or anything?"

"He said to tell you 'I hope your happy', but that's pretty much it."

Surprisingly I didn't really care at all what Edward did or said. "What did Marcus say about us?"

Carlisle was kissing up my neck, he stopped at my jaw and said, "We're soul mates." Then crushed himself to me.

I slipped my hands under his shirt, feeling his perfect abs. He took the hint and lifted the shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor. His body looked like it had been created by Michael Angelo was so perfect. I attacked his mouth again and he laid over me on the bed. I could feel his boner and kissed him even harder. His hands were just finding there way up my shirt when he disappeared and Charlie opened my door.

"You alright Bells? I thought you might be having a nightmare or something."

"What? Um, no… I was just reading a horror novel and it got really intense." Please don't ask where the book is, please.

Charlie started to turn around, then stopped and his face turned red. "Who's shirt is that?! Is it Edward's?!?"

I laughed uneasily, "No, its not Edwards, well it is, but he's not here or anything. He gave it to me like two weeks ago to put on at school when I spilled on my clothes at lunch." Please buy it!

Charlie starred at me for a second, "Alright, I believe you. Sorry I overreacted."

I waited for his door to shut. "Carlisle?" I whispered. He was at my side in an instant. "Listen, I… can we wait? You know, just a little while before we… you know."

"Of course, angel, whenever you decide it's time and not a moment beforehand." He kissed the top of my head.

"Well, I just want to wait on the actual sex part, but the other stuff… I wanna try it." I was a little nervous; Edward hated whenever I would even mention sex.

"Bella, you don't need to be nervous. I'm nearing three hundred seventy and I think it's safe to say I know a great deal in that department. We will do whatever your ready for when your ready for it. No pressure at all. I'm curious though, what all have you done?"

"Honestly, nothing. Edward would never do more than barely kiss me, saying I would get hurt if we did more." Why did I ever think I was in love with him again?

Carlisle wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Well, well, well, this means you're all mine to ravish." I giggled and yawned involuntarily. "looks like it's time for you to sleep, beautiful.'

He bent down to pick up his shirt, but I stopped him. "Just what do you think your doing? If I have to sleep, I at least want to feel your shirtless body next to me. 'Sides, Charlie will get suspicious if he ever sees it on you"

Carlisle chuckled and playfully pounced on me. "Are you saying you want my shirt?" In one swift movement, he put a blanket on me and pulled me tightly against his chest.

I kissed his chest, "Only if you think it will look good on me."

He leaned into my ear and whispered, "I think it would be absolutely beautiful if you were wearing nothing but my shirt and I could see your gorgeous ass hanging out."

Damn! How did he do this to me so easily? "My, my, my, Dr. Cullen. Who would've thought such a phrase would come out of that dignified mouth of yours."

It was too dark to be sure, but I thought he stuck his tongue out at me. "My mouth isn't all that dignified, in fact, it's been known to do some barbaric things. Particularly to beautiful women." I bet it has…