This is my first attempt at Brokeback Mountain fic. It's rated M for mature content, so kiddies, beware.
The idea for this alternate version of BBM comes from what went through my head the first time I saw the scene in which Alma witnesses the reunion kiss between Jack & Ennis. I've inserted a female character who comes in and spices things up even more.You'll figure out what that means as you read.
Firstly, I do not claim to own Brokeback Mountain or any of it's wonderful characters. I do, however, own Ada Delaval. You'll meet her in a moment if you decide to read this.
Also, while there may be evidence to the contrary, this story in essense, to me at least, is about finding out what true love is about. It's the love story of Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar, even when it might not seem so.
I'm also a sucker for happy endings (that's right, there's a happy ending)
So! Please leave comments if you love it or like it or hate it or if you were completely indifferent. I want to know what you think!
And finally, I dedicate this to all that inspired me. Thanks dcmcintoshx for writing such wonderful Brokeback Mountain stories. I also found random inspiration in October Sky, The Day After Tomorrow, Donnie Darko, and for some reason Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I also dedicate this to Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger for being the perfect Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar.
Enough of this nonsense... read my story!
Jack sighed and smiled slowly, his eyes falling closed as he rested his head on the door into his wife's office, deep in thought. He wrapped his hand slowly around the cool metal doorknob, stopping just before opening the door, contemplating what he would say as soon as he walked on through.
He had just now received news of Ennis's divorce. It had been official on Thursday. Ennis had probably already moved on into a new place, it didn't say on the card. Jack was going to visit and find him soon, this weekend if he could.
This was his chance. They could have a real good life together. A real good life. And they would. He knew it. Jack and Ennis, together at long last. Nothing holding them back except maybe Jack's marriage- a marriage that had died off before it ever really started.
The thought should've been enough to drive him to go through with this, but it wasn't. He almost turned back, wondering whether all of this, the disappointment he had repeatedly faced and the continual denial of his love, would ever really be worth it. He just had to think about Brokeback for a half a second to convince himself.
Jack has his eyes closed. He's had them that way for hours, he guesses, now, but sleep has not yet fallen upon him. His eyelids grow heavier and heavier but sleep just won't come. It's cold. Damned cold. The blanket he huddles and shivers beneath makes him itch, but he doesn't even notice that anymore.
He can't sleep. Because it's damned cold. Because Ennis is miserable outside even with the cover of Jack's second blanket. Because Ennis's suffering shouldn't bother him this much, but it does, and because sometimes he thinks about Ennis in a way that he knows ain't right.
Ennis makes another audible shudder. Jack can't stand it anymore. He doesn't mind the noise but he's as miserable as the shivering man outside.
He peeks out at Ennis once, then again. The fire is dying out. Jack has had enough.
"Ennis!" he shouts, "Just quit your yammerin' and get in here!"
Ennis obliges, half-asleep and freezing. He grabs his blanket and knocks over just about the whole damned cooking station they've set up on his way to the tent. Jack knows he doesn't care, he's probably just glad to get out of the cold.
Ennis lets in a gust of cold air when he opens the tent flap, but as soon as he's all the way in and settled down behind Jack all of the cold melts away.
Jack almost immediately hears Ennis softly snoring behind him. He feels better now. The sound lulls him into a sound sleep just as quickly.
They sleep for a short while in peace. Jack dreams of Ennis, leaning in, facing Jack. Their foreheads meet and the lock eyes before Ennis takes Jack's hand.
"I can't," Jack says but without a word Ennis makes it clear that his insistence is otherwise and their lips meet.
Jack is violently woken when Ennis jumps behind him. Jack realizes in less than a second that Ennis's hand is inside of his pants and he has a certain awareness that Ennis wasn't the one who put it there.
Ennis isn't sure, but Jack can see it in his eyes, even in the dark, that he wants this as badly as Jack does. The memory of his dream is fading. He can't survive on the dream. He needs it to be realized.
Ennis pushes him away when Jack draws him close but Ennis is tempted, oh he's tempted. Jack undresses, first his jacket, then the pants, and when Ennis unzips his own jeans and begins to fulfill that wondrous dream, Jack knows, he finally knows, that he's not alone…
The memory gave Jack a renewed sense of confidence. He knew, now, precisely what he would tell his wife when he entered the door... He turned the knob, pushed the door open and stepped on inside.
"Jack," Lureen called to him before he could get in a single word. She kept click-clacking away at her adding machine with a pen, not even looking up from her work to speak to him. "Daddy says you haven't been sellin' as much as he'd like."
"I…" he started but he couldn't stick to it. He could deal with this later, he reckoned. "Dammit, Lureen, I try, I really do," he addressed her, his mind still elsewhere but she didn't notice. "It's the market right now. Everybody who needs a tractor's already got one, it ain't my fault."
"Well, Daddy's already hired somebody to help you."
"Another salesman?" Jack asked, the hope in his heart ringing evident in his voice. Immediately he believed it would be Ennis, that in just a second he'd walk through that door. He wouldn't say much, but he'd know- they'd both know- and even in silence they would be able to tell each other that it was time. Soon they could sneak off and go someplace far, far away where they wouldn't have to ever bother with all of this nonsense again.
"Don't sound so excited…" she glanced at him oddly. "Not a man, Jack, a woman. Daddy's trying this new selling scheme. Luring the men in to buy new combines with a pretty girl, you know the game."
"Hell…" Jack looked around as something in him died. "I don't need no help."
"It ain't my choice, Jack," she responded. "She'll be here in just a bit. She's nice, you'll like her."
"Hell I will…" he left the room in a hurry, disappointed he hadn't yet mustered up the courage to break it off with Lureen. Maybe this was best.
When the time was right he would just take off without a word.
There wasn't even any guarantee that Ennis was ready to finally be with him. Jack knew it was time but he still had to be careful.
He was ready to take off but a girl was standing just outside the door, looking like she was ready to walk into the office. She was small and slender with fair skin, a round nose, pouty lips. She stood at least a head shorter than Jack.
But what Jack noticed first about her were the eyes. They were dark but bright too somehow, a brightness only accentuated by the raven-colored hair that draped her shoulders and the long eyelashes that flitted above the chocolate pools that were her eyes.
He was silent for a moment. "So you're the new help, huh?" he asked afterward, still a little fired up that Mr. Newsome didn't think he was capable of doing his job, but curious all the same.
"Uh, yessir," she replied.
"Well my name is Jack Twist, but I guess you know that already," he said, extending a hand to shake. She grabbed the ends of his fingers and gave them an abrupt shake, her gaze averted. Quickly her hands were back to being crossed in front of her, fidgeting.
"I'm Ada," she started, and then a few moments later when she noticed that he seemed to be waiting for her to finish she briskly added, "Delaval." She looked younger than he was. Maybe 25. Jack pushed the thought aside in her mind. Her age wasn't important. He wondered why he was lingering on the question for as long as he was, though it was only a few moments.
"Well I'm very glad to meet you Ada Delaval. Id've assumed you met my wife?" She nodded. "Well then let's get to the tractors." He paused. "Do you know anything about tractors?"
"No sir," she answered.
"Do you have any experience selling anything?"
"I've worked in a convenience store," she suggested, with full knowledge this job would require a completely different skill set.
He laughed a little. "How in the hell did you get this job?" he said quietly to himself. But not quietly enough, apparently, because she heard.
"I'm not sure," she said, smiling a tiny bit in response. "I don't know nothing about any of this."
"Mr. Newsome probably hired you because you're pretty," he said, not sure if he was being blunt of humorous, but he was telling the truth. He thought after a moment that it wasn't really her that he was taken with. Something about her reminded him of Ennis.
The blush was apparent against her white face. She was silent again for a while and then "You're very handsome," was all she could think of to reply.
"Well thank you," he laughed. Maybe he was a little taken with her. But he was distracted. He couldn't wait until he was off of work for the weekend and he could go see Ennis. "Well, you should really get to learn the basics…"
Jack placed a hand over the girl's shoulder and led her out towards the front. She followed with small, timid steps, apparently nervous for her first day on the job. They pulled their respective heavy coats off of a rack near the door to combat the November chill.
Lureen saw them walk outside through the wide window next to her desk. Jack had a smile on his face now that she seldom saw anymore, a smile that was common when they were young and in love but returned only once in a rare while now. Usually he only grinned like this when he got back from those fishing and hunting trips he went on with his buddies once or twice a year. Something was up.
Ada and Jack couldn't feel her scathing stare as they opened the front doors and stepped outside into the wide lot in which the tractors were parked.
He had been waiting to leave for Ennis's since Wednesday. He thought he was going to explode with the anticipation, but nope, he'd survived.
"I'm leaving for the weekend," Jack announced to his wife. He was in a hurry, taking off with his hat in one hand and a suitcase in the other. He had grown more and more excited each day. The fact that Lureen hadn't noticed was a testament to how far they had grown apart.
"Where do you think you're goin'?"
"Fishin' with Ennis," he grinned. "And the rest," he added as an afterthought, trying to prevent any suspicions his wife may have had.
She sighed. "Jack, we didn't agree to this. You always leave without a moment's notice, and you know we need someone to man the shop."
"Doesn't have to be a man to man the shop… You've got Ada working here, don'cha? She's making real good progress…"
"Daddy gave her a break for the next four days…"
"Your father said I could take the next four days off, Lureen, I don't know what in the hell he's trying to pull," he argued, but there was no anger in his voice. He knew what he was doing and nothing Lureen said could change his mind.
"You can't leave, Jack, I don't want to have to call Ada in…" she hissed. He simply turned around left without another word, a huge white grin on his face.
"I'm sure as hell sorry, you know I am," Ennis told Jack in his usual low grumble. The words that were spilling from his mouth now were dead. He gave Jack his excuse for why they couldn't be together yet but Jack didn't hear a word of it. He hadn't prepared himself for this and it overwhelmed him.
When a white truck passed in the road he gladly turned to watch it drive by, welcoming any distraction from what was happening now. He had to convince himself that this wasn't happening, just until he was out of Ennis's sight. He didn't want to cry in front of him, especially not with his daughters here.
"Yeah, alright," Jack said, emotionless.
"Jack…" Ennis started to say something, but he couldn't finish it off.
"I'll see you next month then," Jack said, not hearing him, turning around back to his truck and slamming the door.
Jack tried to keep his composure as he drove off. This ain't the end he told himself again and again but his mind kept drifting back to the possibility that Ennis and him weren't destined to be together after all. A Love That Will Never Grow Old was playing on the radio. It didn't help.
He wiped the tears away even though no one was there to see him, afraid that someone he knew would catch him in such a state as he backed out of the dirt path.
He's just copin' Jack told himself. Just give him some time… he'll come through for you. He loves you.
He was able to smile a little through the tears when he thought of how things would be someday, how maybe he could go back home with Ennis and bring that shithole of a ranch back to life. Things would be good then. Wouldn't be anything in the world to bother 'em.
Maybe.
But what if Ennis didn't want this bad enough? Maybe Ennis didn't love him the way Jack loved Ennis. Maybe Ennis didn't love him anymore at all. Why did he push Jack away? This was their golden chance and it had rolled over and died in a minute
He almost considered going to Mexico… He needed to be held, to be loved in even the most shallow of ways. He just needed to persuade himself that someone cared. Just for a moment.
Something in his heart helped him decide against it, but still the drive home was a long one.
Jack could see Lureen talking on the phone when he walked in. When she saw him she said something and promptly hung up the phone.
"Back from your trip so soon, hon'?" Lureen asked when she was finished with the phone. He'd only been gone for a day. The tears had stopped hours ago but the hurt was still clear as crystal in his expression. "What's wrong?"
"My old pal is real sick," he lied. "Trip's been cancelled."
"Well that's a shame," she said. "But good news for us. We need someone out there sellin'."
"I thought you said you'd be callin' Ada in."
"We let her have time off," she explained. "And now you're here."
"I guess I better get out there then," he said, walking over and giving her a kiss. He needed to be comforted now, to feel something. She wasn't expecting it though, and the kiss she returned was quick and unfeeling.
It didn't make him feel any better. He pulled back and turned around, cursing under his breath with a weak frustration, before he got to work.
"This is our newest model… "Jack was somberly explaining to the day's only customer in the frigid cold when he saw Ada's truck pull up at the end of the parking lot in the distance. It had only been a few hours since he had gotten home and he was surprised to see her here, seeing as she was supposed to have the next few days off of work.
His heart leapt when he saw her. He tried to control it, but it was impossible.
Jack finished up his explanation of the combine he was attempting to sell, but the stout man he was trying to sell to wasn't interested. "Already got one," he explained. "I'm just lookin' at the new models."
"Well, thanks for comin' in here anyway," Jack tipped his hat as the man walked off and leaned up against the tractor. Ada had been standing silently in the distance the whole time, but now she approached him.
"Hi," she said when she was close enough to Jack for him to hear her soft voice when she spoke. He leaned in even closer to hear.
"Howdy, Ada," he said, the despair still unmistakable in his voice. "Hey, weren't you supposed to be gone all this weekend?"
"Well, you were too," she responded, walking in next to the combine and leaning in, facing out in the same direction as Jack. She gazed at him.
"I guess," he commented, looking away. Then he realized something. "Hey, how'd you know I was supposed to be gone?" He turned his head back to face him.
"Lureen called me at home," she said, mildly flustered. "She was telling me I needed to come in, but then you came and she told me to never mind."
She paused. "Jack, is everything okay? You're lookin' a little drawn."
"I… I was just really looking forward to this trip this weekend and now it's been blown."
"Why's that?" she asked, a hint of curiosity in her voice.
"My buddy Ennis…" he started, searching for a way to explain, "He's just not feeling up to a trip I guess." He felt like he couldn't lie to Ada, for some reason. Skirting the truth would work just as well for his purposes.
"I'm sorry," she said, silent, looking down at her feet.
"Well, if you wanna work, I'm sure Lureen can find something for you to do… there's no work out here for you right now," Jack finally said after a moment's silence, still far off.
"I'm not working today," she said.
"Then… why'd you come here?" he asked.
She peeked around the corner of the giant combine they were standing behind and realized they were completely out of Lureen's view. "I just kind of… wanted to speak to you was all," she said looking up at him. Her dark eyes met his.
She got up on her toes and kissed him. He closed his eyes, half-surprised, half-suspecting that this would happen all along. He could have pushed her away, convincing himself it was because he was being faithful- to his wife or Ennis he never would know- but he didn't. He kissed her just as tenderly in return.
The touch of her lips softened the pain of Ennis's slighting. She wrapped her arms around him in what felt much more like a caring embrace than anything sexual- it surprised him too, but it somehow reassured him.
The embrace ended and Jack smiled softly. He knew that Lureen couldn't see them now but he almost wished that she could. Maybe then she would realize how she had treated him for all these years, maybe she could come to the realization that this was what she had driven him to. Ada noticed a tear in his eye but knew not to say anything about it.
"Jack," she sighed quietly, her deep eyes looking up at him again, "will you…come see me tonight?" There was something in her voice that was pleading for him.
He begged for her too, now. His body and mind needed to be consoled and she was there for him. That's all this was, he told himself over and over again.
"I will," he nodded and her odd smile grew, "but get outta here, Lureen shouldn't see us together."
"What will you tell her?" Ada asked as she pulled away a little, getting ready to leave, shooting nervous glances at the building in which Lureen was probably chatting away on the phone.
"I'll say I'm going out to the bar… probably won't even need to tell her. I go every night," he said, sounding a little pitiful, but the thought of being with her dulled the grief within him. "I get off at 7 o'clock. Where's your place?"
She recounted her address and gave him directions. "I'll be waiting for you," she trembled and touched his hand before she left.
As he saw her get into her car and drive off slowly he wondered if he was doing the right thing.
He didn't feel anything for her, he told himself. She was just here at the right place, at the right time, and she was willing to be there for him.
Maybe he was using her, but he didn't care. He was comforted by the fact that anyone wanted to wrap their arms around him and make him feel that he wasn't alone, that he wasn't as detestable and unwanted as he felt when Ennis turned him away.
Jack made himself busy for the next few hours, but no one came. The hours dragged on and on. At least if the place had a customer he'd have something to do, but without any business he didn't think 7 o'clock would ever come.
After what seemed like an eternity, though, it did. He almost ran to the truck, turning the key in the ignition, pedal to the floor and drove off in the direction of Ada's place.
When he got there he left the car quickly. As he approached the front door it opened slowly from the inside. Ada had been waiting for him.
He leapt in to kiss her as he entered the door. It caught her a little off guard, but she agreed and kissed him back. His fervor frightened her somewhat. He wanted this too badly, and she understood soon that this wasn't out of love or even attraction to her but something outside of either of their control.
Soon they were in the bedroom and they were both on the bed. He was kneeling above her, kissing her, translating his frustration into passion with his eyes closed, losing himself in the moment of fiery ardor. He didn't even stop as he was attempting to unbutton his shirt with one hand as he used the other to support himself.
With a bit of trouble he finally got the shirt off of himself and tossed it to the side of the bed. He was beginning with the pants but he felt her soft hand across his wrist, stopping him.
He thought maybe she was caught up in the moment, that she would be the one to undo his belt and remove his jeans, but instead she whispered softly to him, "Jack, stoppit… I can't."
"You can," he shook his head, placing his lips on hers as she tried to speak again.
She gently pushed him away. A rush of rejection fell over Jack yet again. Again he had been discarded, thrown at the wayside. Alone.
"Jack," she whispered, looking disgusted with herself. "I… this is wrong, this is all wrong."
Jack cursed under his breath and got off of the bed, fixing his pants, picking his shirt up off of the floor. "Of course it is," he said, cross with himself for falling into this. "Of course."
"No, Jack, you don't understand," she said, getting up and taking his hand. He turned away and pulled his hand back, not wishing to see her again.
"I think I understand pretty well," he said.
"No… Jack, I…" she couldn't bring herself to say it until she composed herself. "I've been paid to seduce you."
She gave him a look like this was supposed to make him feel better. He glared.
"Mr. Newsome," she went on to explain, "he knows you don't love your wife and… he sent me to spy on you. He wanted me to sleep with you so he'd have some reason to get rid of you…"
Jack looked like he was sick. Here was someone he had trusted, someone he was about to give himself to, and it had all been a scheme.
"But… dammit, Jack, I won't let him do that to you," she was sobbing a bit now, horrified at the thought of him hating her. The look of loathing in his eyes softened when he saw how torn and disconcerted she was now, but it didn't change what she had done.
"I'm not telling him a thing… I'll cover for you, Jack. Just… don't hate me, okay?" she begged.
"I can't promise that," he shook his head, confused and hurt but at the same time indebted to this beautiful girl. Her lip quavered and she turned away. "But I'll try," she looked back up at him. Hope glimmered in her dark eyes.
He turned around and, not saying a word, left the dark house toward home.
"It's a damned great plan, if I do say so myself," Mr. Newsome told the man sitting next to him in a crowded, rowdy bar near home.
"And so when this girl tells you she's finally slept with 'im," the other man replied, "then you're going to… tell your daughter?"
"More than that," Mr. Newsome gave a hearty laugh, "I'd pay that sonofawhore to get away from her. If he's cheatin'… it's enough to tell me he don't really care about Lureen. That boy's no good at all. I'll give him enough money he'll be able to go away and I'll never have to see his scrawny ass again, and then Lureen can find a real man who'll make us all proud."
"But what if she can't get 'im?" the man asked, sounding intrigued. On the inside, though, he felt like this was a rather cruel trick. He took a sip of his own beer.
"Ha!" Newsome gave a chuckle. "See, this is where my plan get's even more interesting…" He turned to the other man expecting a curious glance but was disappointed to see that he wasn't even looking at him.
"I know that the bastards cheatin' on her, that I know for certain," and he took a swig from his mug. "Don't ask me how, but I know."
"So it's just a matter of time before he accepts this girl's advances?" the man asked.
"Not quite," Newsome laughed, now with a hint of revulsion in his enthusiastic guffaw. "Y'see, Jack goes off a few times a year to go see a friend of his," the man listened intently now. "This 'Ennis Del Mar.' I've been checking out these postcards he's been gettin,' seems like there's a little more going on that he's been telling us."
"You mean, he's…" the man started.
"I think he's a fuckin' queer," Newsome chortled again, "and if he doesn't sleep with this girl, she's damned pretty-beautiful even, then it'll prove it. And then when everybody finds out… well, bye-bye Jack."
"You're right," the other man returned. "Damned good plan. Couldn't have thought of a better plan myself." But inside he was disgusted.
"Damned right," Newsome grinned and downed the last of his beer. "Glad you think so too. You seem like a smart fella. I've always liked you." He paused. "Now excuse me, Randall, I've got some business to attend to."
"Yes sir, Mr. Newsome," Randall Malone replied, suddenly very interested in the prospect of Jack Twist.
The next few days of work Ada did not come in. When she finally returned at the end of her four days, she had a bullshit story about visiting her sick aunt in Oklahoma prepared. Lureen bought it, nodding slightly when Ada explained, not looking up from her work.
Jack had actually sold a couple of combines while Ada had been away. A few men had come in asking for "the dark-haired girl," but when Jack told them that she was away they didn't take off right away and Jack had some time to give them his sales pitch.
Jack wondered whether what Lureen had said was true at all- that Ada had been hired to bring the men to the dealer like moths to a glowing porch light- because it sure seemed to be working.
Moreover when she walked over to Jack, keeping her hands and lips to herself but smiling graciously at him, he realized that he couldn't hate the girl. He was still angry, that would last for a while and he didn't know what she could do that would ever make him forgive her completely, but her smile still reassured him. When he got back to work shortly after her arrival, not greeting her, she frowned.
Despite what she had done he still felt like this was someone he could trust. She could have gone through with it, not told him anything, and then his life would be over. He'd lose his wife, his job, he'd never see Bobby anymore…
What would he do then?
But isn't that exactly what you want? he asked himself. Wasn't it? Didn't he want all of this to be through, didn't he just want Ennis? Just true love?
He didn't know what he wanted anymore.
But she hadn't betrayed him. She had kept quiet. That was worth something.
"Ada… thank you for being honest with me," he said, running up to her after he felt like he was being cold to her all morning.
"It's just what I had to do," she told him.
"No- you didn't. You could've kept quiet and you could've collected whatever reward you'd be gettin' for it. But you didn't. So thanks."
She nodded at him and then stood around again like she always did. There wasn't much for them to do here right now.
Finally two pickup trucks, one white, the other black, drove into the lot. Immediately Jack recognized the black truck as his father-in-law's and groaned a little in annoyance.
Ada and Jack walked over to greet Newsome and the man who was now exiting the white truck. Ada stuck out a hand to greet the stranger who hurriedly shook it and then turned away.
"Hello, Jack, this is a friend of mine, his name is Randall Malone. Randall, meet Jack. Jack, meet Randall"
"Pleased to meet you Randall," Jack said as they shook hands. The handshake seemed to go on for a second too long.
"Randall," Newsome began, "is a local rancher. Old family friends. Jack, why don't you get to know him a little better?" He stopped. "Ada, can I speak to you for a second? Privately?"
"Sure thing, boss," she said and walked out to a distance where they weren't within earshot of the two men who were getting to know each other very superficially with a conversation about the weather.
"Ada," L.D. Newsome questioned, "have you… been with him yet?" he tried to keep a certain amount of modesty around the girl, despite what he was asking her to do.
"Well, no," she said, half-truthfully. "But," she added, sensing that Newsome had some other crazy notion up his sleeve, "I know I'm close. I think he… really loves Lureen and that he ain't willing to be unfaithful to her," she lied through her teeth, knowing that somehow this might protect him.
"Are you sure?" Mr. Newsome asked, baffled.
"I'm sure," she nodded enthusiastically. She looked over at Jack and Randall. "What's this guy doing here?"
"Oh, I just wanted to get him introduced to Lureen," he said. "He might not seem it, but he's worth something. Family's got a lot of value."
"Right," Ada said as Newsome rejoined the group. After a moment he was taking Randall into the building to meet Lureen.
Jack got back to strolling around, checking each tractor to see that it was in top shape, going over a quality checklist that he had memorized in the years working here.
Ada merely stood and watched from far away, for some reason mesmerized by this man. Whenever she was spoke with him she was taken aback by how handsome he was, and yet few around him really seemed to notice, his wife least of all.
She had seen the way the Twists interacted. Lureen was always cold and far away, caring much more for her business than for Jack, who it seemed had really cared for her once but no longer could hold his end of such a one-sided marriage.
But Jack was strikingly attractive, sensitive, funny, and very, very nice- how could his wife not love him? If he had been unfaithful to Lureen in the past, Ada didn't blame him a bit.
She wondered as she watched him bend over to examine the tires on a large combine, admiring his backside through his jeans.
She turned away soon, a bit ashamed of herself. She was upset with herself for accepting to help with Mr. Newsome's plot. It was horrible. She had expected Jack Twist to be as worthless as Newsome had described him to be, but in the few days she had known him he had demonstrated himself to be a great man.
She was ashamed. She was no better than a whore, now. Her whole life she had been just the eldest daughter of the poor but respectable owner of a little market on the edge of town, stocking shelves and working the register. At a glance Mr. Newsome had pinned her as the perfect girl for this conspiracy.
She hated herself for agreeing to it. She needed the money, she had four younger brothers and sisters that needed supporting and her mother had passed away the year before, but she could scrounge by without it if she needed to. At times she wished she had refused him.
But at the same time she wouldn't trade her choice for anything. She would never have met Jack otherwise, and that might be an even worse fate. Not that they could ever really have any life together or that things would ever work out between them, but he made her feel like she never had before with just a kiss.
She turned her eyes back to him and watched him as he worked. She thought that maybe, just maybe, she loved him. She wished she could say Jack felt that way about her.
Mr. Newsome left without saying goodbye to Jack or Ada and soon Randall's white truck was parked alone at the end of the lot.
"May I speak to you in private for a second?" Randall said when he exited the building, motioning back toward it. Jack had his trepidations but agreed. He walked Randall into the building, then into the tiny office that was supposed to be all his but he now shared with the girl who was standing all alone now outside.
"Have a seat," Jack motioned to the chair at one end of his desk. Randall sat down and Jack took his own seat on the other end of the desk. He clasped his hands together on the desk in front of him.
"So…" Jack prompted when the man didn't say anything right away.
"I… I think that Mr. Newsome is trying to set you up," he said slowly, deliberately. "That pretty little thing outside… don't trust her. He's tryin' to set you up…"
Jack already knew all of this. He interrupted Randall mid-sentence. "I'm really not interested in any of this…"
Randall placed a hand across Jack's. There was a sudden realization in Jack's eyes. He didn't pull away immediately.
"Jack… I know," Randall said, his voice now a low whisper, he gazed into Jack's eyes. "and Newsome knows too, you're not safe."
Jack pulled his hands back now and broke eye contact with the man in front of him. The way Randall was looking at him now said everything. If this had come the day he saw Ennis instead of Ada's advances he would have gladly taken this man into his arms.
But his new friendship with Ada had taught him something, he thought. A week ago he would have loved to be beneath another man-thinking about being touched that way again made him dizzy- but he realized something now.
It wasn't just a man's touch he needed, but Ennis's. Only someone he loved would make him feel whole again, whether that be a man or a woman.
And although he felt something for Ada- felt a lot of something for her- he knew her love was not what he needed to complete himself. There was only one that he loved, and that one was Ennis.
"Look, I know you're tryin' to help me," Jack finally said to Randall, more calmly than he thought he would be able to say it, "but honestly, you've got me all wrong. I'm not interested."
Jack thought that maybe he had let Randall touch his hand for too long, that with that long glimpse through Jack's clear, blue eyes that he'd let Randall see into his soul and realize the truth, but when Randall pulled away and repeated apologies under his breath Jack knew that he had been convinced.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Twist, I won't bother you again," he apologized again, now ashamed of himself. Jack couldn't help but feel awful for him.
He fumbled with the doorknob before Jack spoke again.
"Randall." The man turned around, still humiliated. Jack thought a long while about what he needed to say. "Never be ashamed of what you are," Jack told him, shaking his head, "even if people don't like it, even if people are scared of it. You are what you are. And people might want to hurt you for it… but what they don't know won't hurt 'em, people understand what they want to understand, and if you can find somebody and get away and be safe, then you go on and you do that."
Randall absorbed this, still wondering about Jack, before nodding in appreciation and slowly closing the door behind him as he stepped out.
The following days of work weren't quite as slow as before. Word was getting out about Ada and although a great number of the men who came to see her didn't end up buying, they did stick around for a while.
Jack and Ada chuckled together at the sudden surge of customers in the moments they were alone. Over time they became friendlier, chatting when they could, going out for lunch. When Lureen was maintaining the lobby she would look outside, shooting stares at them like daggers while they laughed outside, oblivious.
Jack soon forgot how angry he had been with Ada for what she had done to him. As they became the best of friends, Ada fell more and more in love with him.
Mr. Newsome grew more frustrated each time Ada told him that she hadn't slept with him yet because he loved his wife too much, becoming more and more sure of what he had suspected early on. Ada, however, maintained that she was almost there and, to Mr. Newsome's dismay, their closeness seemed genuine each time he visited. The visits which grew more and more frequent as time passed.
He was beginning to suspect that maybe Ada was falling for Jack. Something else, though, told him that she was a smart girl and that he wouldn't fall for that good-for-nothing.
She was getting good at her job, too. She caught on quickly and Jack was surprised to see that she would be selling as much as he was if she was really trying.
"Why are you doing that?" he asked her one day after he had noticed this for the first time.
"Doing what?" she laughed.
"You do more explainin' then you need to… you draw out the process. And then sometimes you refer the guys to me if you see I ain't doing anything."
"Well if I sold more than you, it wouldn't be very good for your job, would it?" she grinned.
He just looked at her, stunned, and then changed the subject.
Ada always noticed that when Jack wasn't talking to her he always had this look like his mind was somewhere else.
Jack, even when he was spending a lot of time with Ada, was always thinking about Ennis and the thousand questions he wished he could ask him but never had the balls to.
He had written another postcard to Ennis a few days ago, desperate now for another meeting with him. He thought that maybe after a while his burning desire for Ennis would slowly fade with each passing day. Instead every day they were apart it grew harder for Jack to keep on living. He was lucky that every day his friendship with Ada grew stronger and the comfort she gave him grew to combat the mounting pain.
"Are you alright?" she asked him on a number of occasions when suddenly his eyes became unfocused and clearly his thoughts were distant.
"What?" he would always say when he shot back to here and now, a funny little smile across his face. "Oh, just thinking," he would reply and in her mind Ada would try to guess what it he had been thinking about that made him seem so happy. She liked to believe that he was daydreaming about her sometimes, but that was wishful thinking. She had other ideas of what it could be.
Today he was thinking that today might be the day we would receive Ennis's reply in the mail. Finally he would agree to run off with him, finally things would be good for him and all of this distress could be over with.
But the response he received when the postman came that afternoon was not what he expected. He stood behind his desk in his tiny office, breathing hard, as he began reading the note:
Sorry Jack, can't take time off of work. I'll lose my job. Next time for sure. –Ennis
Ada was walking by the door at the moment and was around to witness the reading. The enormous grin that Jack had been wearing for the last few days suddenly turned inward. His face contorted and he muffled sobs, turning away from the girl who had rushed inside and slammed the door behind her and was now embracing him, rocking him a little back and forth in an attempt to calm him, without an idea of what this could all be about.
"Shh…" she whispered as he tried to push her away. She held on tight, though, and it wasn't long before he stopped resisting and hugged her in return.
She held him, gently trailing her hand down his face, leaning her head into his heaving chest until the sobs subsided.
She didn't ask what was wrong -she could tell from the way he refused to look at her even while she held him that it was a personal matter. She wished that it was her business, that she felt she had the right to intrude, but she knew she did not.
Ada was sure, though, that he needed her now. She placed her hands up and around his neck and kissed him gently. He returned it just as softly at first, but his kiss grew more intense as he placed a hand behind her head, leaning inward.
There was an emptiness inside his heart now that needed to be filled, something that needed to be fed now by passion.
What he had here might never be love, but for a moment he knew he could convince himself.
Jack felt Ada's hands lower from his shoulders. They trailed down his chest, then around his waist, until finally they reached his jeans.
She wrapped her hands around his buttocks through his pants, pulling him in closer to herself until they touched. He moaned.
In another second they were both peeling off their shirts, breathing heavily in concert, bodies coming together through the clothing that remained on their now sweat-sprayed bodies.
Their bodies were soon free of the clothing that had been restricting them and, before realizing it, they were both on the softly carpeted floor, they both groaned quietly as he took swift, deep strokes within her with his eyes closed.
Ada mind wandered to a trip she had taken as a child, seeing the sea for the first time. The mounting pleasure was like the incoming waves as the tide changed from low to high. Immediately she was back here, relishing in this act as she got closer and closer to orgasm and her body bent into his.
She moaned out loud as she murmured, "I love you, Jack Twist," in his ear. Jack remained silent beside deep breaths and growls of pleasure, trying not to let what that really meant get into his head.
Lureen Twist strolled haughtily toward her husband's office door like she always did, a little surprised to see that it was closed now. It never was. She placed her hand on the doorknob and began to turn it but stopped halfway into it.
From beyond the door she could hear muffled cries of bliss. She could kid herself all she liked, but she knew what it meant. Whatever was happening beyond that door she hoped to never truly know.
She turned away with a bitter look on her face and stormed back to her office. There wasn't a tear in her eye and she didn't sob once. Instead, fury burned in her eyes. Hatred for Ada. Hatred for her father for hiring the girl. But mostly hatred for the husband who had convinced her for all of these years that no matter how she treated him she still had meant something to him. Now it made her feel worthless.
Inside the room Jack's thoughts kept fluttering between Ennis and Ada as he groaned against Ada's neck. He wasn't sure who he wanted in his head and who he was trying to push away.
But when finally his back arched in a spasm and he cried out in climax he had a clear vision of Ennis Del Mar's face set before him in his mind.
"Jack," Ada said, placing a hand across Jack's wrist after they were dressed. He flinched a little, surprising the both of them, at her touch. "We should get away from here… run off someplace," she said, wide-eyed. She sighed and smiled at him, expecting the same in return.
Instead he stared back at her for a long time, unmoving. He had to think. It was a long time before he finally shook his head no.
"But… why not?" she asked. "I've been savin' up and Mr. Newsome's been paying me much too much," she laughed, "I have enough to buy out a tiny ranch now."
She noticed that Jack's expression remained unchanged. "I… I'm sorry, I can't."
Her smile was gone in a second. "Ada, it ain't you. It's just…" he shook his head.
"You love someone else," she said, her head tilting downward, her eyes focused on her feet.
"Yes," he said, "I'm sorry…"
"Jack," Ada said, looking up, her eyes shimmering, "it doesn't have to be just us." His eyes grew wide. "We could… Ennis could live with us too."
Jack couldn't believe his ears.
"Wha… how d'you…?!" he stuttered.
"When you drove to Wyoming that one day… when you asked for the weekend off, I got it off too. Newsome… he sent me to follow you."
Suddenly he remembered the white truck he had seen just as he was leaving Ennis's place.
"You… you were spyin' on me?"
"I was but… but I didn't tell the boss anything, really," she swore.
"But… how did you… know," he asked. "Does Newsome have any suspicions or…"
"Well he told me… he said 'He's going to visit this Ennis Del Mar, it's probably really some floozy he's goin' off to see, I want to you catch the two of 'em together,'" Ada explained. "But I knew when I saw you talkin' to 'im and when you were drivin' back, I could see it in your face, even from far away. You were so… I saw it and I knew. And I could tell that it was something real, something I'd never seen before in my life and I wanted a part of that…"
"Ada, I don't know," he heaved a sigh, still in a state of disbelief, "This doesn't make any sense…"
"Jack, I want you two to be together!" she shouted. "I… I need it to be. And, dammit Jack, I don't know that you guys will be safe unless you have some kind of cover-up."
"But, Ada… you."
"Me what?" she demanded.
"I… I have feelins for you, but I don't think I love you, and you say you don't care now, but if this does go through, and I'm not saying that it even can, but I'll be with Ennis and you'll just be there, and if you love me, really love me, I know that it'll just tear you apart." It was said in one big breath.
She thought about this for a long moment. "I can live like that," she said. There was a sense of determination in her voice.
"Are you sure?" Jack asked, skepticism in his voice. It was like he was making excuses. This was too good to be true, too perfect, and it was like he was looking for the loophole that would destroy this so he wouldn't have his hopes soaring for too long before they came crashing back down.
She replied with a nod and she embraced him again when he grabbed her and cried the words "thank you" over and over in her ear.
"Daddy," Lureen told her father through the phone, the fury plain in her voice. "Jack's cheatin' on me."
It's about time he thought before answering. "That son of a bitch," he replied through the phone. "I always knew that boy wasn't good for nothing,' told you you never should've married 'im."
"I know, Daddy, I know," she hissed, "and it was with that Ada girl too."
"That little whore," he said, trying to hide his wide grin from entering his voice. "Well I'll tell that bastard husband of yers right now that you're through with 'im. You won't even have to see him again after tonight."
"Thank you Daddy," she smiled. "And hurry?"
"Will do, hon,'" he answered and hung up the phone.
He wondered how long Ada had been screwing Jack behind his back. Why hadn't she told him about it? He was furious with her for a moment until he realized it meant he didn't have to pay her the huge sum of money she was supposed to get when she got him to sleep with her. He could say now the contract was voided because she was withholding information from him. That would save him quite a bit of money, considering he had been paying her so much to begin with. Her deal would be done tonight.
One more thing bothered L.D. Newsome. All of this time Jack had been going to spend time with this Ennis Del Mar fella… it seemed legitimate. He was really some guy in Wyoming with a little house out in the middle of nowhere and a couple of daughters. Newsome had been sure that Jack and this Del Mar person had been queer for each other…
But no matter. With this Jack Twist would finally be out of his daughter's life, once and for all, and Newsome could find a son-in-law who was worth something, a son-in-law to make a father-in-law proud.
Jack and Ada had just stepped back out onto the lot when Mr. Newsome's black truck drove in. He drove closer and closer to them, until Jack nearly thought he had the intention of running the both of them over, but it came to a screeching halt just before they were ready to jump out of the way.
The door flew open as soon as the car was stopped completely and before he knew it Jack was being pulled up by the front of his shirt by his very pissed father-in-law.
"You unfaithful little son of a bitch," he spat. "I knew… I just knew you'd cave in eventually."
Jack glanced over at Ada. She was as shocked as he was and he knew right off that she hadn't told.
Newsome let go of Jack's shirt. And poked his fat index finger in the center of Jack's chest, looking him straight in the eye.
"You… you get the fuck away from my daughter. I'll even help. Whatever it takes. I'll give you enough money to run off with this little whore, whatever you need…"
"Don't you call her that," Jack warned.
"Don't try to flatter her," Newsome sneered. "Here," he held out a check, "It's for $20,000. I'm fuckin' serious about this. I don't never wanna see you again 'cept in court to legalize the divorce, y'hear?" Jack snatched the check from Newsome's fat hand. "You or the hooker."
In less than another second Newsome was flat on his back, his nose bleeding onto the pavement. Jack's knuckles bled as well. He shook his hand and wiped the blood on his shirt.
"She doesn't deserve that," Jack shouted at the beaten man on the ground.
Newsome rose, emitting a kind of maniacal laughter as he did so. "I'll see to it that you never see your son again," he chuckled through his defeat, taking advantage of the fact that he knew Jack wouldn't hit him when he was already down.
"You ain't the boss o' me," Jack defied him. "I will see him again."
"Not in my lifetime," Newsome said, backing up toward his car.
"Then let's hope you don't live for much longer then," Jack glared.
"You're both fired, by the way," Newsome said from the safety of his truck. "And Lureen better not call me tonight saying she saw you coming to get your things." Jack thanked God that the only two possessions he had that had actually meant something to him weren't at the house that, until ten seconds ago, he had called home.
Mr. Newsome sped off.
"Oh my God," Ada said, her hand in front of her mouth, shaking her head back in forth. "It wasn't supposed to be like that… I can't…"
"Shh… it's okay, Ada. Let's go."
"But… your son?"
"I'll see him again. Let's go."
Ada drove her little truck home and Jack trailed in his just behind her.
"Pack everything you need," Jack told her as they walked in together.
"Hell, Jack, I'm taking everything I've got," she told him. "Newsome's paying for me to live here. I suspect I'd be evicted tomorrow if I stayed.
"But what about your family…?"
"Oh, they don't live here, they live with Pa at the end of town… they'll be okay. I'll send them some money. And once we get settled… I'll send them a little of whatever we can make."
He helped her get all of her stuff together. There wasn't much-mostly clothes, some silverware and plates and such. All of it fit easily in the back of her truck.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked her when everything was secure.
"You lead the way," she nodded, getting into her truck.
He got into the seat of his and started the 14 hour drive.
His mind raced the whole way there. How would he propose this to Ennis? How would Ennis react? Was there a chance in Hell that he would ever agree to this? Negative thoughts cluttered his mind.
No, Jack told himself. This is the chance. You and Ennis was meant to be together, you know that.
This plan was crazy and he knew it. But that was why it would work. This is the way it's gonna work.
The more he said it the surer he was and soon he was whistling again to the radio like he had been his last time in Wyoming. He knew in his heart of hearts that this wouldn't be a repeat of the last time.
Jack's heart raced as he knocked on Ennis's front door. Ada held her breath beside him. She had been told not to say a word. Jack was going to do all of the talking.
On the drive here they had stopped only for gas and meals and to pull once to the side of the road to get some sleep in the camper in the back of Jack's truck. The trip had taken them through the north of Texas, across the panhandle of Oklahoma, through all of Colorado and into the heart of Wyoming. Jack had spent every moment of that time preparing for this.
Finally the door opened. Ennis looked shocked to see Jack standing there. He invited them in and they took seats around a small table. Immediately he noticed Ada who sat beside Jack. He wondered who she was and what business she had here.
"What are you doin' here?" he asked through a smile but still sounding nearly angry with Jack. His body language seemed to show that he was delighted that Jack was visiting. "I told you I can't go with you, I'd lose my job, and I'm barely scroungin' by as it is right now."
"I have to tell you somethin," Jack stated.
"Well, what?" he asked.
"I'm divorcing Lureen," he grinned.
"Well, that's great Jack," Ennis said, "but really I can't go with you right now…"
"Me and Ada are runnin' off and buildin' a ranch," he said, motioning to her without breathing.
Confusion came like a wave over Ennis. "Jack," Ennis growled, anger rising in his voice, "if you're gonna be with some girl, why the hell did you come…"
He was interrupted by Jack's forceful kiss on the lips. Jack was leaning over the tiny table to reach him. Ennis kissed back almost instinctively, his eyes closing, his hands grasping the back of Jack's head, fingers streaming through his brown hair.
When it ended Ennis was left speechless.
"You're runnin' off and buildin' it with us," Jack smirked.
"But…" Ennis tried to form a question but the words escaped his lips.
"It's simple really," Ada saw that it was time to explain. "Jack and I will get married…" she trailed when he saw the look of disapproval in Ennis's eyes. "…but just so eveything'll seem normal. And then you can live with us. And if anybody asks you're a cousin or something with no place to stay."
"Which means you and me are free to… you know," Jack laughed.
"But what about her?" Ennis asked, nodding toward Ada, concerned. "What, she gets off on watchin' men?"
"Well we could… every once in a while, we'd have to…" Jack tried to say something, ashamed.
Ennis glowered. "You've been with her, haven't you?" He nearly shouted in frustration. "Well, hell Jack, no wonder you love this plan so much, you get to hold on to love and pussy…"
Jack looked away in shame.
"But that's not true," Ada said to stop Ennis from continuing. He quieted down to see what she had to say. "Every time you've said no to him he's just been reachin' out for someone to love him. I happened to be there last time. He only did it 'cause of you. He only did it 'cause he needs you."
What she said got to Ennis. The look on his face changed almost immediately.
"Look, I'm sorry for that, Jack. This is just real unexpected," he let out a small laugh. "But… shit, could this really work?"
"We have money too," Ada said. "I've got a ton saved up and Jack's ex-father-in-law just handed him a check for twenty grand."
"Holy fuck," Ennis said after a beat, nearly jumping out of his chair. "You're fuckin' with me! You gotta be!"
"Nope," Jack shook his head, a huge grin on his face. "We're just about set…"
"But," Ennis interrupted again, "what about my daughters? I dunno what I'd do if I couldn't see 'em anymore…"
"Well, hell, Ennis, we don't have to move out to Alaska or something,'" Jack said. "We could stay here in Wyoming if you wanted. Find a nice ranch somewhere. We could…" his eyes grew wide. "We could find somethin' near Brokeback."
The proposal left Ennis awestruck. Was this really possible? It was too good to be true, it had to be.
"What's the catch?" Ennis asked after the thought had raced around in his mind for too long and he still hadn't found the flaw in the plan.
"The catch," Ada said, "is that you have to put up with me."
Ennis smiled. "I think I can live with that. Now come here!" He opened his arms to her. She got up out of her seat and walked into his arms. His grip was tight around her shoulders.
"How the hell did we find a girl like you?" He smiled. She did the same in return.
"We found her because this is supposed to happen," Jack reasoned. "We found her because this was meant to be."
"And what did you do?" Ennis chuckled, loosening his bear-hug grip. "Tell her 'By the way, I'm in love with another man, let's go off and start a life together?'"
"It's kind of a long story," Jack stated.
"Well, you better get started soon, then," Ennis grinned.
It took them a while to give him every little detail of what had happened. Ada explained first, explaining her life as a grocer's daughter and Mr. Newsome's offer. Much of the information she divulged about who she was and about her life was new to Jack as well as Ennis.
Jack went on to explain that she was spying on Jack and that she had known right away that they were lovers.
"You guys are the real deal," she interrupted, "and I'm willin' to do whatever I have to for it."
Jack then told Ennis, reluctantly, about how he had sought solace with Ada after Ennis had turned him down again. Ennis gladly forgave Jack, against his own expectations, and they exchanged smiles.
"So… here we are now," Jack said, "what do you say?"
"I say I'm in," Ennis said with a smile.
"So… now begins our search," Ada grinned.
"I've got the paper, we can look through here," Ennis said, turning around to the counter behind him and pulling a newspaper from the table. "And you guys… well, you're welcome to stay here, of course, until we find a place."
"We could do a little cow-and-calf operation like we always wanted," Jack began to dream out loud. "Build a little house, raise some horses…"
"Calm yourself, Jack, we hafta find a place first," Ennis chuckled at Jack's enthusiasm.
"I'm just excited is all," he apologized. "I mean this is perfect. Just perfect!"
"Hey," Ennis said, getting up and running to a cupboard. He removed a bottle of whiskey and three large glasses that were anything but shot glasses, pouring them each a small bit in the bottom of the cup.
"I propose a toast to the lil' lady," he said after handing out the cups, raising his own to the sky. "Without you none of this would be possible, so thanks," he grinned.
They clinked glasses together before downing them each in a gulp, astonished by the clearer, brighter future that they could already see in the distance.
"Lureen, I know you're disappointed that Jack left you like that…" Mr. Newsome started.
"No, Daddy, you were right. He wasn't good for anything," she said
"I think we should go out for a drink. My treat? You've had a rough week."
She almost declined the offer. "Okay, yeah, that sounds good."
Mr. Newsome drove him off to his favorite bar. Randall Malone was already there, having some kind of discussion with another young man. They were caught up in whatever they were talking about, but Newsome had to interrupt.
"Randall, I think you should get to know Lureen a little better. Jack left her and she needs some comfortin', if you know what I mean."
"Actually, I'm a little bit busy right now," Randall tried to talk his way out of it.
"Nonsense!" Newsome said. "Excuse me," he told the small man next to Randall, "but my daughter wants to sit here."
"Uh… sure thing, sir," he said and reluctantly waved Randall off.
"Howdy," Lureen smiled as she sat down next to Randall. He smiled back politely, completely uninterested. "You know, it was really nice meeting you at work yesterday mornin', I thought maybe we could get to know each other a little better."
"Uh, sure," he replied. How could this woman be flirting with him the day her husband left her?
"Y'know, Daddy says that with his experience, he could help you do wonders with your ranch. We're millionaires now, y'know."
"Really?" he asked, suddenly interested.
"Oh, yeah," she nodded. "And he says he'd be proud if you'd be his new son-in-law, now that Jack's out of the picture."
"Yes maam!" Randall Malone replied, suddenly very interested in the prospect of the former Mrs. Jack Twist.