Author's Note: Hi guys! Sorry for my long absence. I know you're all waiting with baited breath for me to update French Kiss in Hyrule, but I've got writers block on that story. So I wrote this instead! I know you'll just love it! I put my heart and soul into crafting this magnificent fanfic. I feel it is truly the greatest thing I have ever written in my entire life. I own all the characters. Bon appetit!
EPIC LOVE STORY THAT TRANSCENDS TIME AND SPACE
Ganon's down at the milk farm licking a cow. Zelda looks on in disgust.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?? WHY DID I EVEN MARRY YOU??!"
Ganon and Zelda are the owners of LonLon Ranch. I don't know what happened, but they are. Believe it.
"Don't knock it til you've tried it, honey." Ganon replied, voice dripping with milk and sarcasm. Zelda shook her head in a word that starts with "dis-". Just then ghost aliens land their ship on the horse barn crushing INGO. The horse aliens were alright.
Ganon got off the ground in a huff, milk dribbling down his tunic. "FUCK! This is the seventh time this month!"
The aliens took the horses and INGO and left. "DAMNIT, GANON! This is all your fault! If you hadn't been licking that cow, none of this would have ever happened!"
"How is it my fault? I didn't know the aliens would steal our slave!"
"That's all you ever think about, isn't it? Why don't YOU do some goddamn work around here instead of licking cows all day?"
Well, now they have to go on a quest to save INGO.
"Alright, honey! Let's go on a quest to save INGO!"
"FUCK YOU!"
And so they fucked. Fucked right there in the fields of LonLon Ranch. The cows watched, milk dripping from their udders, udderly aroused.
THE END.