A/N: Written by Animegrl421 and companions! (Whitney hits Amanda)
Whitney: We all wrote this script!
Corey: Yeah, we worked on the first lines together! We should get more credit!
Amanda: Don't make me your BETA reader if you're one of my friends, because it'll just hit you back in the ass!
End note: The show is one we (Animegrl421 only) did for class. It is a talk show done by Cicero from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar! Also, Cal is short for Calpurnia, Brut is short for Brutus, and Por is short for Portia. Host is Dr. Cicero Winfrey. In class, Animegrl421 played Cicero, Whitney played Calpurnia, Corey played Brutus, and Jessica (NOT part of the account) played Portia.
Enjoy!
Host: Welcome to… Dr. Cicero Winfrey tells all! Marriage through time!
(Crickets in the background start as the room is silent.)
Simmer down now folks, before we get started let's introduce our killer today, Brutus! *As Brutus walks in as he holds up applause sign* And, his beautiful wife, Portia! *Cue Portia in* Also, give it up for our widow today, Calpurnia! *Cue Cal in*
*Brutus holds up applause sign as girls walk in, and as all take their seats.*
*Everyone sits in chairs- Calpurnia around Brutus for upcoming seen*
Host: Let's cut to the chase, everyone wants to know, Calpurnia, how do you feel about Brutus killing your man?
Cal: He killed my man! *Start to shake Brutus roughly, but not too much* I hate your GUTS!
Por: HOLD UP! Take your hands, off MY man! *Get up from seat and separate two*
Brut: *Chant Cat-fight as eating fake popcorn*
Cal: Your man?!
Por: Yeah, MY man!
Cal: Don't you mean your piece of *MOUTH BAD WORD FOR BEEP!*
Host: * Press red button for BEEP noise*
Host: Anyway, Brutus, you brutal guy you, what is your view on you killing Caesar?
Brut: He WAS my BFF, but the keyword is WAS. Also, he was way too obsessed with appearances! I mean the guy took tweezers, and plucked every body hair from his body! He was maddening!
Cal: So, Caesar looked better with no hair, you would do to look at your own ugly hairy self before judging! Caesar took the pain from plucking those hairs as any man would, unlike you!
Por: Now, HOLD UP, you did NOT just say that my man is not Manly?!
Cal: Not technically, but I guess yes!
*Both get up from seats and are about to fight, host gets up and separates them- all the while a chant of cat-fight and popcorn crunching from Brutus is heard.*
Host: Ladies, you must stop this constant fighting! Now sit DOWN!
*Everyone sits*
Host: OK, now, Portia, why don't you tell the audience your own views on Caesar's death, and your husband's part in it?
Por: Well, I find my man to be even better than any other man to bring down the "great" Caesar himself! Caesar stabbed 23 times was what he got for making Brutus second to himself!
Cal: He did NOT deserve what he got! 23 stabs- 23!! That's INHUMANE!
Host: We all share the differences, but on to the next question, so Cal what was life like behind the man when he was alive?
Cal: It was difficult, I almost hate him for most of what he did, I mean, he went off with that Egyptian *Mouths bad Word As Host Bleeps out* just because I couldn't produce an heir! He didn't love me, he loved her! But, I still liked him more than Brutus!
Por: Funny, I liked him some too
Cal: OH NO, You did not know him at all, you kept behind your husband-
Por: I knew Caesar A LOT more than you think *Snicker*
Cal: WHAT THE- *Cut OFF NO WORDS HERE*
Brut: No, Portia, you couldn't have, not after what everything we've been through!
Por: I don't know, time will tell all!
Host: Too MUCH INFORMATION. I'd say, let's leave on that note, but before we go are their any questions in the audience?
Audience either asks or doesn't- if audience does answer and tell them to look under their chair!
A/N: Yes, I know that I did a really bad job at the whole BETA reader, but who cares?! *Laughs crazily*
Cue anime sweat drops from Whitney and Corey....