It started out as a really stupid rumor.
Someone said some police officer had flirted with Coulson, and that he'd flirted back. Then someone else said there was a date. That turned into two dates, a night on the town, and a walk in the park. Coulson, being Coulson, said nothing about the subject, and smiled mysteriously when asked about it. Which left the door open to more speculation, and SHIELD's rumor mill went absolutely wild.
It went on for probably two months before Coulson came in to work late and seemed somewhat off all day. Someone brought up the 'officer girlfriend,' suggested they broke up, and it became the only explanation for the mood.
This little rumor got to Tony, who stared at his computer screen with the most mischievous grin Rhodey had ever seen on him. "What?" he asked, walking over and reading it. "Oh, that rumor. I was wondering when someone was gonna add to it." Tony was still grinning. "What?"
"I have the best idea ever, and that's including the Iron Man suit," Tony replied. He closed the email and started writing another one, addressed to 'SkyeFyre' and with the subject line 'Best Dare in a Century.'
"Oh, God..." Rhodey said, walking out of the room. He was gonna have absolutely no part in this whatsoever.
Skye had not stopped smiling since she got the email.
It was all set up. Fitz would man the camera. Simmons would find and operate the YouTube video that had both audio and guitar karaoke. She would be the guitar. May wouldn't be involved because she was sure May would not approve. And the singer?
"Oh, Wa-ard?"
Ward sighed and set down the training manual. "Yes, Skye?" She walked up behind him and slid her arms around his neck. Oh, boy.
"Ward, I need a favor," she said sweetly.
"Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn't be in here, being so nice to me," he replied. She placed a hand over her heart like she was hurt, but had an amused look on her face, so he didn't take the action seriously. "What is it?"
"You remember Coulson's rumored girlfriend, Officer Sally Martin?" Skye asked, taking a seat next to Ward. Ward nodded and hummed. "Well, you remember the rumored breakup? Well, the info got to Stark, who challenged-"
"Wait, wait, wait. This is a dare from Stark? I'm out," Ward cut her off.
"Oh, come on! It's not a bad idea! It's not dangerous, and it doesn't require you to even move!" Skye exclaimed. Ward looked at her suspiciously.
"Well, it's not gonna be something I'm gonna like, or you wouldn't be so hesitant to tell me," Ward reasoned. She shrugged and looked at him again with those big doe eyes.
"Tony dared us – the team – to perform 'Achy Breaky Heart' in Coulson's honor." Ward's eyes widened, and he knew why Tony had suggested it. "And we need a singer."
"Is May onboard with the idea?" Ward asked. "Because if she isn't, I'm not."
"No, but it's a good idea! All you have to do is sing! That's it!" Skye protested.
"You're gonna post this video, and I'll have a lot to explain to a lot of people, including Coulson himself. No," Ward replied. "And that's final."
Skye was silent for a moment before she stood, like she was walking away. But she turned around and stood behind his seat and whispered in his ear. "I'll be nice if you do." He was sure he blushed at that.
"Your promises of not antagonizing me and stuffing me with chocolate brownies won't sway me," he replied, not addressing her tone or flirtatious actions.
"Yes, they will," Skye said. "The name is 'Achy Breaky Heart' by Billy Ray Cyrus, and I'm playing guitar. She walked away. Ward sat in silence for a couple minutes, convincing himself not to.
"Dang, that girl is good..." he muttered.
It was an empty storage room that they staged their little song in. FitzSimmons were there already, set up and ready to go whenever given the order by the organizer of this merry band of morons.
Skye walked in just after he did, guitar in hand. They took positions. Fitz counted down via fingers from 3. When the music started, so did Skye. She wasn't bad, either. It was his cue, and Ward, against all better judgement and senses, sang.
"You can tell the world you never was my girl; you can burn my clothes up when I'm gone. You can tell your friends just what a fool I've been, and laugh and joke about me on the phone. You can tell my arms to go back to the farm; you can tell my feet to hit the floor. Or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips they won't be reachin' for you no more."
Ward was sure that this guy was trying to sound like Elvis Presley, or something. He was also sure he was making a fool of himself. But Skye was enjoying herself, and FitzSimmons looked happy, so he sucked it up and stuck it out.
"But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think he'd understand. And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, he might blow up and kill this man. Ooo..." Skye was so gonna owe him for this.
"You can tell your ma I moved to Arkansas; you can tell your dog to bite my leg. Or tell your brother Cliff, whose fist can tell my lip, he never really liked me anyway. Or tell your Aunt Loiuse, tell anything you please; myself already knows I'm not okay. Or you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind; it might be walkin' out on me today."
He had to admit, the line about the brother wasn't bad.
"But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think he'd understand. And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, he might blow up and kill this man. Ooo..."
Now it was an instrumental portion of it, and he backed away from the mic a little. He heard a noise outside and prayed that no rookie would pop in and try to join. Or laugh. He wanted at least a little time to get a decent hiding spot and stay there until his shame faded a little.
Well, his prayer was half answered. It wasn't a rookie.
It was Coulson.
The door opened, but the music didn't stop. Simmons and Ward saw him right away, and their faces changed on a dime. Fitz saw this through the camera, and turned to see Coulson there, with May - who likely led him to the room - standing there with her arms crossed and a weird smile on her face.
It almost looked like she was gonna enjoy whatever was about to happen, which Ward didn't really understand...
Until Coulson pulled out a mic of his own. Oh, brother...
Skye noticed, but she saw the mic right away and grinned ear to ear. Coulson picked up the part Ward missed because his jaw was halfway to the floor. On camera, no less. "But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think he'd understand. And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, he might blow up and kill this man. Ooo..."
Skye and Coulson sorta-kinda danced a little. Ward didn't know when the jaw drop turned to a smile, but it did. And they all – maybe even including May, though he couldn't tell, and God help him if anyone ever brought it up – sang the last bit. "But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think he'd understand. And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, he might blow up and kill this man. Ooo..."
The music ended after a small instrumental section, and the video stopped too. "Sir?" Ward asked, not even sure what to say.
"I'm not mad. I expect to see that on the SHIELD net within 36 hours, Miss Skye," Coulson said. Skye nodded eagerly, bouncing a little. Coulson and May left, but Coulson paused at the door. "Good job, you guys. Thanks. And FYI, confidentially, there wasn't anything between us."
"We know, Sir," Ward answered. Coulson nodded and walked away. "So...that happened."
"This is gonna be more epic than the Avengers' video!" Skye shouted as she ran off.
As expected, it was on the web within hours, and became a hit overnight. Strangely, everyone who passed Ward the next day smiled at him. It was kinda weird. Any further analyzation of it was gonna have to wait until after the brownies, though.
Maria walked by Fury's office a few hours into the morning shift and was shocked to hear what she thought was singing coming from inside the office. And not singing from the video, either.
Maybe Ward wasn't so crazy after all.
