Title: Through the Rain.
Summary: With Calleigh's life hanging in the balance Eric finds himself faced with losing the woman he loves.
Rating: K.
Pairings: Eric/Calleigh.
Disclaimer: Anything that you recognise does not belong to me.
Notes:
1. I have never written for CSI:Miami before but after writing the promo I felt compelled to give my own take on it.
2. I am not a doctor so I apologise in advance for any medical inaccuracies, Google can only tell you so much.
3. I live in England so some of the terminology may be lost in translation and even then English isn't my first language.
1. "Are you there God it's me Eric Delko."
The whoosh of the ventilator was a sound that Eric had become accustomed to over the last 24 hours. The mechanical hiss that accompanied every breath that Calleigh took served as a constant painful reminder that she was unable to breath for herself. Wiping at his eyes Eric looked at the many machines, wires and tubes that were keeping her alive.
"You're gonna get through this. You have to," he whispered, knowing that she probably couldn't hear him but needing to say it anyway.
Standing in the doorway Alexx watched her 2 friends and former colleagues, heading towards the coffee machine she sat down next to Horatio. "When did that happen?"
"What happen?" Horatio asked.
"Eric and Calleigh," Alexx sighed.
Horatio knew what she was talking about, he had seen it himself, the hidden smiles shared between them, the secret looks and loving touches. "I don't know," he admitted. "I think it's been building for a while."
"I kept meaning to call her, make a coffee date, I never expected for … for her to … I never expected that the next time I saw her it would be like this," Alexx whispered.
Taking a sip of his now cold coffee Horatio nodded. "She'll get through this she's strong."
"ARDS is nasty Horatio, a third of people who have it die from it," Alexx cried.
"That's just science, this is Calleigh we're talking about, if anyone can come through this then I know she can," Horatio reasoned, needing to stay positive for the sake of his team. Calleigh meant a lot to all of them and every second her life hung in the balance the more he felt like he was losing control.
Alexx looked at him, her eyes heavy with sadness, she wanted to believe what she was saying but she knew the facts, she had been there when Calleigh was brought and had witnessed first hand the damage to the young CSI's lungs. "Horatio, she wasn't breathing. When they brought her in she wasn't breathing and it took a long time to get her ventilated because of the damage to her lung tissue-"
"Stop it," Horation growled.
"I know you don't want to hear this, I know you need to believe but they need you Horatio, over the coming days, whatever the outcome they will need someone strong to lead them. If Calleigh survives this then there could be permanent damage, no one knows what the lack of oxygen could do to her," Alexx whispered.
Horatio turned to face his old friend. "If she doesn't make it then 2 good CSI's will be lost, because if we lose Calleigh then Eric will never recover."
Standing up Alexx nodded. "I know."
Grabbing 2 cups of coffee from the machine Alexx headed back towards Calleigh's room. "I brought you a coffee," she said, sitting down on the chair next to Eric.
Eric didn't even seen to notice her presence, his attention focused solely on the woman in front of him.
"Eric-"
"Tell me she's going to be alright," Eric demanded, his voice nothing more than a heartbroken whisper.
Alexx looked down at the ground, unable to face the pain she knew she would see in his eyes. "I can't."
"Tell me again what's happening?" Eric asked. "I need to know."
Slowly Alexx began to explain. "The smoke and whatever chemicals Calleigh inhaled in that attic have caused something called acute respiratory distress syndrome, which is where fluid builds up in the lungs preventing oxygen from getting into the blood stream. It also turns the lungs very heavy and stiff making it difficult for them to expand which can make ventilation difficult."
"Like it was with Calleigh?" Eric whispered.
Alexx nodded. "Yes. Calleigh was very difficult to ventilate, not only are her lungs not expanding properly but her trachea was swollen. Eric-"
"Don't say it," Eric pleaded. "Don't even think it."
"I know you need to believe Sugar but-"
Standing up Eric's fear quickly morphed into anger. "Calleigh will get though this. I know she will, now you and anyone else that doesn't believe that can leave us alone."
Alexx's response was cut off by the shrill bleeping of the many monitors attached to Calleigh. Jumping into action Alexx positioned herself at the top of the bed, lowering the headrest she disconnected Calleigh from the ventilator before attaching a bag to the tube.
"What's happening?" another doctor asked as she entered the room.
"Her oxygen levels are dropping her heart rate is erratic, the ventilator is coming up against too much resistance, we need to manually ventilate her until we find the right setting," Alexx explained.
She joined Alexx at the head of the bed. "Her blood pressure is dropping, 86 over 34."
"She's going into shock, we need to give her a fluid bolus now, and page the intensivist she needs an increased rate of ventilation," Alexx ordered, trying not to let her fear overtake her
Standing at the edge of the room Eric felt like he was drowning as the doctors and nurses fought to save Calleigh's life while he stood back and watched, unable to do anything to help her.
Unable to watch any longer he left, not knowing where he was going until he found himself outside the hospital chapel. Taking a deep breath Eric stepped inside, it had been a long time since he'd been to church, and an even longer time since he'd prayed.
Sitting down on one of the benches Eric closed his eyes and clasped his hands together on his knees. He wanted to beg God not to take her, to give them more time together, he wanted to ask him to let her be alright and to make it so she could breath on her own. But now as he sat there in the silence of the chapel the sound of the ventilator and the shrill bleeping of the machines was deafening.
Even though he was 2 floors away he could still hear their angry cries, taunting him, threatening to take away the one person in the world that meant more than anything to him.
"I can't go on living in this world if I have to do it without her," Eric cried, not afraid who heard him.
Looking up at the cross that sat on the wall in front of him Eric clasped his hands together tighter. "Marisol, Speed, they're both gone and it hurt but through it all she was always there now if I lose her too then … I can't … I won't … Calleigh … life without her … "
Unable to control his emotions anymore Eric was on the verge of hyperventilating, his breath was coming in short, sharp, gasps and his words barely audible above the sound of his cries. But then something amazing happened. At first he thought he was imagining it, that his grief stricken, sleep deprived brain was hearing things.
It wasn't until he turned around and saw the young girl sat a few rows behind him that he realised the sound was coming from her.
"Amazing Grace how sweet the sound," she sang, her words stopping abruptly when she spotted Eric watching her.
"I'm sorry," Eric whispered.
The young girl tilted her head to look at him. "Why are you sad?"
"Because someone I love very much is sick," Eric answered, looking around for her parents.
Standing up the little-girl moved so that she was sat on the bench in front of him. "People only come here because they are scared of losing someone."
"Is that why you come here?" Eric asked.
Shaking her head the little-girl smiled, she couldn't have been more than 6 or 7. "No. I come here to ask God to send me a mummy and a daddy."
"You don't have a mummy and a daddy?" Eric asked, his voice breaking.
Large tears fell from her bright blue eyes as she shook her head. "No. I've never had parents. And now I have a poorly lump in my tummy nobody wants me."
"You're sick?" Eric asked.
"Just my tummy is," the little-girl answered with the innocence only a child could possess.
Unclasping his hands Eric watched as she took off her pink hat to reveal a nearly bald head. "What's your name?"
"Annabelle," she answered, before standing up and putting her hat back. "I should get back, the nurses don't like it when I play hide and seek."
Eric couldn't help but smile. "Thank-you."
"I hope your friend gets better," Annabelle smiled.
Eric nodded. "And I hope you find a mummy and daddy."
As he watched her go Eric realised that for the first time since he entered the chapel he was at peace, the mechanical hiss of the ventilator and the loud shrill bleep of the monitors was no more. And this time when he said a prayer he didn't pray for himself, or for Calleigh but for Annabelle and that she would find what she came here looking for.
"Amen," Eric whispered as he exited the chapel and headed back up to Calleigh's room.
Upon entering the room Eric found himself surrounded by people, there was at least 10 doctors and nurses shouting orders back and forth between them. In the middle of all the chaos lay Calleigh, her golden blonde hair fanned out across the white sheet like a halo as the doctors battled to save her.
His feet were frozen to the spot as he watched one of the surgeons clean her neck before cutting it open and creating an opening in the trachea.
"No," Eric screamed.
Alexx was by his side in seconds, placing a gentle hand on his back she lead him outside. "I know it looks horrible but it needs to be done."
"They're hurting her," Eric sobbed, falling to his knees.
Kneeling down next to him Alexx wrapped her arms around him. "She's heavily sedated and on high doses of painkillers. Eric I know it's terrifying but Calleigh can't breath on her own, her lungs are too damaged and the tube that was helping her breath became dislodged, they tried passing a new one but her throat is too swollen from all the trauma, this is only way."
"Dr Woods," one of the nurses called as he stepped outside into the hallway, his yellow gown splattered in Calleigh's blood.
Alexx stood up. "I have to go back inside," she explained as she placed a kiss on Eric's head.
"Don't let her die," Eric pleaded as Alexx disappeared back into the room.
Leaning back against the wall Eric banged his head on the hard surface, needing to feel anything over than the all-consuming fear that was eating away at him.
"Now that's not going to help anyone is it?" Horatio asked as he sat down next to him.
Eric looked up at his boss, there was a time when he respected him above anyone else, a respect that had been worn down along the way. "She's in a bad way H."
"I know," Horatio sighed.
"It's not looking good, they've had to insert a tube into her neck to help her breath, they cut her open," Eric cried.
Horatio tried not to let his own fear show, Alexx was right, he needed to remain strong. "Calleigh's strong."
"So everyone keeps saying but it's been one thing after another, she takes the hits, she gets up, plasters on a fake smile and pretends she's alright, what if this is one hit too many?" Eric asked his voice breaking.
"She'll be alright," Horatio insisted.
Eric shook his head, the action making him dizzy in his exhausted state. "She can't even breath without a machine, there's nothing alright about that."
"Eric-"
Standing up abruptly Eric clenched his fist, he was seconds away from putting it through the wall when Alexx exited Calleigh's room, taking off her surgical mask and gown she rolled them into a tight ball before throwing them into the laundry bag.
"How is she?" Eric asked, not even giving her time to catch her breath.
"She's stable," Alexx assured him. "We had to insert a tracheostomy as we were struggling to maintain maximum ventilation, we have however managed to optimise the therapy and she appears to be responding well."
Biting his bottom lip Eric took a serious of deep breaths to calm his nerves. "But she's still not breathing on her own?"
"No," Alex replied. "But it's early days, we need to give her lungs time to recover, this is the best news we could have hoped for at this stage," Alexx told him, trying to give him something to hang onto as she could see that he was on the verge of an emotional collapse.
"Can I see her?" Eric asked.
Alexx nodded. "OF course."
Entering her hospital room once again Eric tried to ignore the sounds, instead he quietly hummed the tune to Amazing Grace in an effort to calm his nerves. Reaching the bed he took her limp hand in his.
"Please don't leave me Calleigh," he begged reaching down and placing a kiss on her forehead. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know if you know this, you probably do but I've fallen in love. Head-over-heels, can't sleep or eat, need you in my life in love with you Calleigh. So you need to fight this alright? Because I need you Calleigh, my life without you is a life I don't want to know."