CHANDLER BABYSITS

"Your mother warned you there'd be days like these, but she didn't warn you when the world has brought you down to your knees" The Rembrants

...

Rachel dropped Emma off at Chandler and Monica's. After kissing Emma on the forehead and thanking Chandler for babysitting, Rachel hurried off to work. Monica was busy cooking up a storm at the restaurant, and Chandler had the day off. Chandler set Emma down on the floor next to Jack and Erica, encouraging her to play with them. Emma eyed them superiorly.

"Ew, they're babies!"

Chandler smiled and patted Emma on the head. "Now, be nice."

Chandler went to the kitchen to prepare everyone's meal. Mashed pumpkin for the twins, and Cheesy macaroni with cut up hotdogs for Emma and himself. The three children congregated on a plush red furry rug. Wrinkling her nose at the babyish toys before her (building blocks and squishy baby books), Emma pulled a bright pink sparkly scrunchie out of her hair, and tied Jack's hair into a ponytail.

"Heehee! Now you are a girl, now you are a girl!" she sang with delight.

Chandler smiled and shook his head. The girl was a spitting image of her mother in appearance and personality. In fact, there wasn't an ounce of Geller in Emma. She was all Greene, with her wispy blonde hair, clear blue eyes and sun-kissed tan skin. Chandler set a bowl of mac & cheese in front of Emma. She eagerly dug in, grasping the spork with her pudgy little hands. Chandler removed the hair tie from his son's hair.

"The cycle ends here, Jack. Now is not the time to follow in your grandfather's footsteps," Chandler muttered sarcastically.

Emma's face turned beetroot red, she scrunched up her eyes, and began squealing with rage at her ruined artistry. She kicked at the floor and pounded it with her little fists.

Chandler raised his eyebrows at the scary little bundle of terror screaming at his feet, "Whoa well c'mon now, it's not the end of the world. Tell you what. You settle down and eat your mac and cheese, and I'll let you give me a makeover, how does that sound?"

Emma paused instantly mid-tantrum and looked up at Chandler with wide watery doe-eyes, "O-o-ok, uncle Chan" she agreed, instantly placated by his offer.

Eager to get started on her Godfather's makeover, Emma rushed through her meal, stuffing her chubby face at the speed of light. Chandler ate his mac & cheese and spooned mouthfuls of mashed pumpkin into the twins' mouths. Chandler washed the children's hands, and wiped their faces with a wet handkerchief. He mopped up spilled mac & cheese and pumpkin from the floor, and put the cutlery and dishes into the dishwasher. Chandler grabbed a bunch of erica's hair ties, ribbons, hairbands and hairclips and passed them to Emma.

"Knock yourself out, kid," Chandler said dryly.

Giggling with excitement, Emma climbed into Chandlers lap, grasped a handful of his chestnut hair, and began decorating him. Chandler grimaced, as Emma pulled hard at his hair. After she was satisfied with her work, she clapped her hands eagerly.

"Gimme a mirror, gimme a mirror!" Emma yelled. Chandler handed Emma a handheld mirror. She shoved the mirror in his face, face lit with cheeky glee.

"Look! You look like princess! Princess Uncle Chan Chan Man!" Chandler stared at his reflection. He was wearing four polka dot hairbands, his hair was tied into five different ponytails, and clipped with various Bratz hairclips.

"I look more like a Queen, Emma." Chandler smiled sardonically, adding "Just like my father", under his breath.

Emma nodded eagerly in agreement, "Yes, you look like a princess AND a queen! Both!"

Jack giggled at his father, and Erica pouted grouchily, disgruntled that her father had stolen her hair products. She pulled the unused hair ties towards her, holding them protectively away from him. Chandler kissed the tops of the children's heads, and stood up.

"Could I be anymore of a Queen?" Chandler teased.

Emma cupped her hand over her mouth and giggled. Chandler glanced around the house, making sure it was child-safe. All cupboards were padlocked so the kids wouldn't drink cleaning products. The knives were safely out of reach, stowed away in cupboards too high for small children to reach. The fans were unplugged, so as not to sever any little fingers. Sharp corners of tables were covered with protective rubber. Stoves were off, and no hot pots or pans sat on the kitchen counter. Monica had done an excellent job at child proofing the house. Time for a quick shower.