Okay. So I was re-reading this and I thought it was horrid. I liked the basic plot, but it didn't just flow right. So I revised it and here it is…
So anyways... I am a huge Harry Potter fan and I hated that Lily and Snape didn't make amends.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Lily Evans was not in a good mood. Now, she wasn't in a bad mood, but she wasn't feeling particularly chipper either. She had woken up late, skipped breakfast, was nearly late to class, forgot her homework in her dorm, gotten reprimanded by one of her favorite teachers, skipped lunch in favor of making up said homework, and now had bumped into someone in one of the hallways and fallen with her books all over the floor on the way to dinner. Lily Evans was tired, hungry, and just annoyed. No, she was not in a good mood at all.
"I'm sorry," she said in a tone that suggested she wasn't sorry at all. She gathered her things. She needed food in her system or else she would just die.
"Lily?"
Lily's head jerked up. That voice… She knew that voice…
Her eyes met those cold, dark eyes… Eyes that were so familiar to her…
"Sev," she gasped. She couldn't help herself. She had not talked to Severus Snape since that incident in Fifth Year…
He was taller than she remembered. His skin was still sallow and pale and his hair was still long, dark and matted. Lanky and awkward, he set out to help her.
Ignoring his offered hand, Lily got up on her feet quickly and smoothed her robes. In a coldly civil voice, she said, "Sorry. But if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the Great Hall."
Severus flinched at her coldness. He did not say a word as she bristled past him.
In the back of her mind, Lily knew she wasn't being fair to him, but that didn't matter to her right now. She was hungry and irritated and she just didn't want to deal with Severus right now. She wasn't in the mood for more heartache.
"You said you hated him," Severus said quietly.
But Lily heard him. She turned around to face him. "What was that?"
"You said you hated him," Severus said in the same quiet voice. Perhaps, timid even.
"Excuse me?" Lily asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You said you hated him," Severus repeated louder and more confident. "You said you'd rather date the Giant Squid!"
There was no doubt whom Severus was referring to.
A headache came upon Lily. She did not want to deal with this. "That was before."
"Before what? Before you stopped being friends with me?" Severus asked.
"Before he changed!" Lily snapped. She really did not want to deal with this.
"People don't change Lily," Severus said coldly.
"You did," Lily said angrily. She ignored the stinging in her eyes.
"I never changed," Severus protested.
"I lost you Severus. Not when you called me the 'm word', not when you became friends with those horrid people. I lost you the moment I became a Gryffindor and you became a Slytherin." The hot, angry tears streamed down Lily's cheeks. Her emerald eyes were no longer flamed with anger, but had a wounded expression.
"Lily," Severus said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was the slip of the tongue."
"But you still said it, Severus," Lily said shaking her head sadly. She furiously wiped away her tears. "Even if you didn't mean to, Severus, you still said it. It was in your mind. It's already ingrained. You had always told me that my blood didn't matter, Sev, but you still called me it. It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to or not, because you said it and that's all that matters."
"Lily," Severus said desperately. "I really am sorry."
"Sorry isn't enough sometimes," Lily said. Her head was throbbing. "I can't talk to you anymore."
Lily walked away from her former friend with tears in her eyes.
o.o.o
James Potter bumped into Lily in the corridor. He had been meaning to find her. He knew that she hadn't eaten anything yet, so he wanted to make sure she ate something. But food left his mind as soon as he saw her tear-stained face.
"Lily, you're crying," James said softly. He wiped away the tears with his thumb. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing James," Lily said. "I just saw Se—Snape."
James enveloped her in a comforting hug. He cradled the back of her head and rubbed her back softly in an effort to calm her down.
"Sh," James said soothingly. "Don't cry, Lily."
"He's changed so much, James," she said crying harder. "I miss him so much."
James sighed. He knew about Snape's feelings for Lily. He couldn't help but feel that Snape deserved Lily while he deserved to be alone sometimes.
After awhile, Lily's sobs calmed and her breathing evened.
"You okay, now?" James asked.
"A little," Lily admitted. "James?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you," she said a bit shyly.
"It's no problem, Lily."
"I love you," she said tentatively. She gave him a little peck on the cheek.
A silly little grin found its way on James' face. "I love you too, Lily."
She smiled, wiping the remainder of her tears. "I know."
The moment was ruined by the grumbling of Lily's poor, empty stomach. Lily's face turned the slightest tint of red.
"You need to eat, Lily," James instructed. "It isn't good to your health."
She nodded. "I know."
She gave him a quick peck on the lips before heading to the Great Hall.
Making sure he was alone, James took out the Marauder's Map.
"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," James said.
James saw that Snape was in one of the dungeons.
"Mischief managed," James whispered.
He put on his Invisibility Cloak and made his way over to Snape. He sighed. The lengths he goes to, to make Lily happy…
James took off his Cloak just before he entered the dungeon. It had sounded like someone was crying…
"Snape," James said.
Startled, Snape jumped. He turned to face James with a cold glare. All traces of the tears were gone, and if James didn't know any better, he would've sworn that Snape hadn't been crying.
"What?" Snape snapped.
"I'm not here to jinx you," James said. He continued on tentatively. "I'm here to talk about Lily."
Snape glanced warily at him.
"I know that you have feelings for her," James began.
Snape looked astonished. But then an impassive expression settled on his face.
"You love her," James continued.
"How did you know that?" Snape asked, not denying it.
James sighed. "I guess I've always known. That's why I acted the way I did… I was… jealous."
"She doesn't love me," Snape said bitterly. "She loves you."
"She misses you," James admitted, though he didn't want to.
Remember, he told himself, This is all for Lily. This is to make her happy.
"She doesn't miss me. Why would she when she has you?" Snape said sullenly.
"Nobody can take your place in her heart," James said. It was hard for him to say these things. "Not even me."
"I don't have a place in her heart," Snape said in a bitter tone. "She hates me."
"You were her best friend," James said. He hated being this nice to Snape. He knew how easily Snape could replace him. "You mean a lot to her. She loves you."
"Not like she loves you," Snape said resentfully. "She loved me like a brother, like a best friend. And she probably hates me now anyway."
"She doesn't hate you." Even though James wished that she did… He sighed and continued, "She's just hurt. You really hurt her feelings, you know?"
"I know… I just… I wish I could take it back…"
"You can't," James said. "It's best to just move forward. Besides, even though she doesn't want to admit it, you still hold a place in her heart."
"Not the place that I want…"
"You're still in her heart," James said. "That's better than her hating you. Think of it like this, all those other people in this school doesn't have a place in her heart. Some people she even hates. But you will always be her childhood friend. You'll always be known as her best friend."
Snape gave him a rare smile. It was a small one, but it was a smile nonetheless.
"Thanks… James," Snape said a bit gratefully.
"Welcome, Severus," James said feeling good about himself.
"Oh and Snivelly," James called. "This never happened."
Snape nodded. The two shared a look of understanding before James disappeared under his Invisibility Cloak.
o.o.o
Lily was in her favorite spot at the Astronomy Tower when James found her. Her green eyes were glassy and wistful and her mind was in a far off place. He sat down next to her, not speaking at all. He was willing to wait.
"I miss him, James," Lily admitted out of the blue.
James didn't need to ask whom she was talking about.
"Then talk to him," James said in a soft tone.
Lily shook her head. "I can't."
"Of course you can," James said. "You just refuse to."
"He's changed, James," Lily said.
"Maybe he's changed back," James argued. "Haven't you noticed that he never calls anybody the 'm word' now?"
Lily shook her head. "Why are you defending him anyway? I thought you hated him."
James hesitated. "Snape and I understand each other…"
Lily didn't know what that meant, and she didn't know if she wanted to or not.
"Why do you refuse to talk to him?" James asked. "He misses you."
"He does not miss me," Lily said shaking her head. "And I refuse to talk to him because he betrayed me. He turned over to the dark side."
James sighed. "Lily, can't you see? He doesmiss you. He barely talks to his Slytherin friends anymore. He's usually just staring at you probably wishing that he could change what happened."
"He doesn't miss me," Lily insisted. "He doesn't even mean it when he apologizes."
James wondered how Lily could be so blind sometimes.
"Yes, he does," James said. "Or else he wouldn't apologize every time he sees you, in hopes that you would forgive him." He hesitated, but admitted, "He was crying when I found him."
Lily looked at James. She couldn't believe him.
"Lily, at least make amends with him. You don't have to be back at the relationship you had with him but at least make things right," James said. "At least make him believe you don't hate him anymore."
"Why should I?" Lily asked stubbornly.
"Because you hold him dearly in your heart," James said, relunctant to say it.
"No I don't," Lily said. "Not anymore."
"He was your childhood friend, Lily," James said softly. "Your best friend."
Lily shook her head. "Was.Keyword. I don't care about him anymore."
"Then why do you miss him?" James asked in a gentle tone. "You love him, Lily. And I understand that."
"I don't love him!" Lily cried indignantly. "I love you."
James gave Lily a soft smile. "I know that. I love you too."
"But you do love him," James continued. "You love him like a brother. You hold him as highly as I hold Sirius, Remus and Peter."
"Give me one more good reason why I should forgive him," Lily said, refusing to admit her feelings.
"Because, he loves you," James said. "He really does, Lily."
Lily didn't believe him. She just couldn't.
"How do you know?" Lily asked in a whisper.
"He looks at you the way I look at you," James said softly. "He's loved you ever since he's laid eyes on you. Just like me."
Lily gave James a soft kiss.
"I love you," Lily said sincerely.
"I love you too."
o.o.o
The next day, Lily found Severus.
"Sev," she said hesitantly. "I'm sorry."
Severus was astounded. "Why are you sorry? If anything I'm the one who should be sorry."
"I'm sorry for being so horrid, Sev. I was just hurt and I—"
"It's okay, Lily," Severus said. "But… Do…?"
"I forgive you," Lily said in a small voice. She knew what he was asking. "I don't want to go through life hating you. You were my best friend Sev. Always will be."
Severus gave Lily a smile and she hugged him timidly.
She gave him a soft little smile before returning to James Potter's side. James acknowledged Snape with a small smile and Severus returned it with the tiniest of smiles before he wiped it off his face.
Holding hands, James and Lily walked away to their life together both figuratively and literally.
"I hope you're happy, Lily," Severus said softly. "But I won't stop loving you, Lily. I can't."
Severus and James went back to hating each other. They kept their encounter to themselves because they understood each other. They had next to nothing in common, but the one thing they shared was their love for Lily Evans.
It hurt Severus a lot that Lily chose James Potter, but they had made amends, and that's all that matters to him.
Tell me what you think!
