Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any of its amazing characters. Darn.
Author's Note: This is my first shot at a Charladay fic! I hope I do all the other great Charladay fics on this site justice. I would love to know what you guys think! And maybe if I get enough reviews, I'll add a second chapter from Charlotte's point of view. Enjoy!
Daniel Faraday was not a hero. In all of his adult life - even during his childhood - he had never done anything praiseworthy. He had always been told that he was an average man who did average work, talked to average people and went about his average life. But he had always known better. Despite what people had told him - people like guidance counselors, teachers and colleagues - he had always known that he was not average, not even mediocre. He had no word. He was plain. Plain Daniel Faraday who wore the same dark tie, talked slowly and uncertainly and never quite looked you in the eye. This was Daniel Faraday. And Daniel Faraday was no hero.
He wasn't quite sure how he had gotten into this situation, wasn't quite sure of the sequence of events that led him to being here now at this precise moment with this beautiful red haired women at his feet, clutching her head in agony. Wasn't quite sure what to say or how to react. But he knew she needed him now, and that was all that mattered.
"Charlotte?" It wasn't a question, and it wasn't a statement. It was a fear. He knew what this was, knew exactly what was to happen next. This moment had played through in his mind so many times in the last few days, the outcome always the same. But this moment had come too soon. He wasn't ready, he needed just a little more time. This couldn't happen now.
He watched her lift her head, to see who had called out to her - his approach had been so quiet, she hadn't realized she was no longer alone. And as her eyes lit up in recognition at the sight of Dan's face, he felt his heart break just a little more.
"Daniel?" He knew she would do this, knew should would attempt to brush away the pain. This was Charlotte after all, and Charlotte never showed weakness, not even to Dan. She got to her feet in one smooth motion, and he might have been quick to consider his assumption had been wrong had his eyes not taken in the subtle clench of her jaw to show that she was still in distress. His face must have betrayed something or shown some kind of concern because she looked at him now with a hidden determination. "I'm fine, Dan. I just came out here to be alone for awhile. The tension down at the beach was making my head worse."
Worse. That was the word that had struck a chord with Dan. It had gotten worse. How could he tell her now that he knew the cause of her persistent ailment, knew the exact reasoning and science behind every thrash, every throb, every ache that fought its way through her consciousness? How could he tell her that he's known the ultimate outcome all along but had been to afraid to share it with her, too afraid to see that look of terror that would flash across her eyes at this knowledge? He couldn't bare it.
"Has the - uh - … has the jungle air… helped at all?" He couldn't look at her, couldn't bear to gaze at those perfect green eyes, knowing he'd been withholding information from her -something he'd never done before. Even on the freighter, when they'd only known each other for a few days, every time she'd asked a question of him, he'd never hidden anything from her, never spared one tiny detail. There was never any reason to lie. Until two days ago.
She noticed him look away. "Daniel, what's happening to me? Don't tell me you don't know, because I know you do."
He looked back up at her, meeting her steely gaze. She was angry. Angry at him for lying, and this shot daggers through Dan. He could take the whispers of students who mocked "Crazy Professor Faraday" for forgetting his lesson plans again, he could take the sideways glances from his colleagues for not being social and keeping to himself, he could take the snide remarks from people on the freighter and this island like Miles, Keamey and James, but as Charlotte's eyes reflected the anger she felt toward him at that moment, he thought he might buckle over in pain as his heart broke a little more.
Dan closed his eyes and held the bridge of his nose in between two of his slender fingers, trying to reason the easiest way to explain it to her. With his eyes closed he didn't have to see the chagrin that inhabited every muscle on her beautiful face, didn't have to stand there abashed while her animosity toward him only grew. He could pretend he didn't know what was about to happen. "Charlotte… you wouldn't - … I can't explain…"
"Dan, help!" He opened his eyes to find her on the ground clutching her head again, all anger forgotten in the tumult of anguish. This was it, it was happening now, and he wasn't ready. She couldn't leave him, not yet. He fell to his knees beside her, not sure of what to do. "Dan, it hurts!" She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the pain, but Dan knew it was useless. He knew the only thing he could do now was comfort her, sooth her, make her as comfortable as he could. Without realizing it, one of Dan's hands found its way to the base of her neck while the other brushed away a few strands of crimson hair from the front of Charlotte's face.
She was beautiful. She was strong and intelligent and - for some reason Dan never understood - she looked at him as a normal human being. She understood him in ways that no one ever did, and she genuinely cared for him. He decided at that moment, as the pain in her head became so unbearable she had to reach up and grip his arm in her warm hand, that she was his constant. Despite the fact that he had only known her for a few months, despite the fact that she was the exact opposite of him in every way imaginable, despite the fact that it defied every law of physics and every equation he had studied in his entire adult life, he knew in that moment that she had always been his constant. There was no doubt in his tired and stressed mind. Charlotte Lewis had always been and would always be his constant. That was the thought that Dan clung to as he leaned forward and embraced her, holding his hands to the back of her head in support, savoring the feeling of her hair.
He held her there for a few moments, his cheek pressed against hers. As he lingered there, never wanting to release her from his embrace, he noticed the speed at which her heart raced. She was scared. She had guessed what was coming next and she was scared. Dan closed his eyes and felt his heart break a little more. This was it. The end was nearing. It was so close now.
Gradually, he felt her heart begin to slow, maintaining a normal, steady pulse. She pulled away from him and released a sigh of relief. "It's over, Daniel! My headache is gone." She smiled then, the joy plain on her face. She actually smiled. Dan felt all his insides clench in misery, unwilling to look her in the eyes, knowing she would see his concern. He knew this wasn't the end. Reluctantly - and somewhat selfishly - he forced his gaze to meet hers, wanting to see the perfect face of Charlotte Lewis one last time.
Her lips pulled back to form a radiant smile while her scarlet hair fell in rippling waves to shape her face. The freckles on her smooth cheeks were so prominent that - given the time - he could have counted every single one. And her eyes, her eyes were indescribable. They were beautiful. They were sensitive. And they looked at him in ways that no other human being had looked at Dan before. Those eyes made him feel normal, made him feel wanted. Charlotte made him feel wanted.
As he gazed at her now, taking in every aspect, every tiny detail of her alluring face, those beautiful eyes slowly began to fill with tears. "Daniel, why are you looking at me that way? What's happening to me?" And before he could utter a single word, intelligible or otherwise, he watched Charlotte snap shut her eyes and re-clench her jaw in pain. This was it. It was here too soon. It couldn't happen now. Not yet. Please not yet.
Dan watched as she opened her eyes again, jaw still clenched, and looked at him, pleading, begging for help. But Daniel Faraday was not a hero. He had played this exact moment over and over in his mind, searching for the right equation, the right solution, the right formula that would give Charlotte more time. He hadn't slept in two days, searching for the answer, but, try as he might, the outcome was always the same. Nothing could save Charlotte.
She squeezed her eyes shut again and gritted her teeth. "Dan, it hurts!"
There was nothing he could do but watch helplessly. He watched as she let out a moan of torment and torture. He watched as she grasped her head in misery. He watched as a trickle of blood ran from her nose and down her lip. And when he couldn't stand to watch any more, he wrapped his arms around her rigid form, pressed his cheek to hers and weakly whispered, "Charlotte, I love you."
For a brief moment, he felt as if her body had relaxed ever so slightly and, almost as if in reflex, his embrace around her tightened. Then, as that moment passed and the next moment came, Charlotte Lewis became still in his arms, and Dan's heart broke for the last time.
Please review. Tell me what worked, tell me what didn't work. And if you're too lazy to review (you know who you are), then at least watch LOST tomorrow so we can find out what fate holds in store for our favorite freighter couple!! Don't die Charlotte!!