I woke up today, and realized I haven't posted anything in awhile. So I hope that you enjoy.
How To Get a Girl
1. Start off simple. Introduce yourself if you've been admiring her from afar. Say hello. Learn her name. Tell her yours. But if you have already done that crucial step, use the information you have: her name. Question: what is the sweetest sound to a girl's ears? Her own name. So here's what you do: stare deeply into her eyes, talk to her, and mention her name a few times.
2. So now you know her name and she knows yours. You two have (hopefully) had a good conversation. Now here is the second step: call her. If you already have her digits, this will not be an issue. If you don't...then maybe something went wrong with Step One. But if you do, good for you, you are doing well. Now here is what you do: call her and have a simple conversation.
3. Congrats. You have officially made it through the second hardest step. You called her, had a normal conversation, and she didn't hang up on you. This is very good. Maybe sometime during your conversation, you two decided to get coffee or lunch. Do not let this be a date. She needs to get to know you first. So go wherever you decided, have another pleasant conversation, and laugh at her jokes.
4. You should be doing well by now. It is time to make the pretty girl blush. But this time, don't meet at another coffee shop. This needs to be more romantic. If you two like birds and kids, take her to a park. If you two like Johnny Depp and popcorn, see a movie. But this is not a date. This is what you do: bring her flowers.
6. This is the step where the dating kicks in. Take your girl to a fair or carnival. Ride rides, win her a stuffed animal, go on the ferris wheel at sunset. But don't kiss her yet.
7. This is the step I am sure most of you have been dreading: the official date. But breathe, because it is just a movie. Though not just any movie: it is a romantic one. Take her to it. And yes, you do have to pay for the popcorn.
8. So now you have gotten past the awkward movie date. And if you hated it, this should be a lot easier. If you loved it...I am scared. But since you two bonded over coffee, this shouldn't be too hard. You cook dinner. Invite her over. Grill up some steaks. Make something and feed it to her.
9. Congratulations. She didn't run screaming from your meal. You two still have a relationship...I hope. Anyway, for the second to last step, you take her to the beach. If you live in Kansas, or anywhere without a beach, a pool will do. Or fly to Hawaii. Enjoy the fresh sunshine, and make sure to take that long walk on the beach that woman you love so much.
10. Congrats, you have made it to the final step without going insane...I hope. This is the simplest step, but also one of the hardest: ask her out and tell her you love her. With any luck, she will feel the same way.
To continue or not to continue? I'm up for it if you are. And as always, review?