"I don't see why you have to go Cliff"
"I just do Ann. There's no place for me here. I have no job...no place to live"
"I told you that you could live at the Inn! We have plenty of room! It's not like anyone else other than you has ever visited the Inn"
"That takes care of a place to live, but I stil have no job"
Out of nowhere pops Jack, the new farmer who moved to Mineral Town after his beloved elderly farmer friend died.
"Hey...uh...your name is Cliff right"
"Yeah. What do ya want"
"Word on the street is that your looking for a job"
"If you can call you snooping in on our conversation the 'word on the street', then yeah, I'm looking for a job"
"Well I can help you! Duke from the Aja Winery is in some need of help. He told me to help him out on a regular basis, but I got a farm to run and well, you need a job"
"REALLY! THANK-YOU JACK! THANK-YOU!" So Cliff dashes to the Aja Winery.
"I heard you needed some help Mr. Duke"
"Ah yes, I do! I'm getting too old and cranky for this line of work. Besides, the wife tells me I need a break from all of this alchohol. BUT HICCUP! OF COURSE... HICCUP THAT'S NON HICCUP SENSE"
"So what do I have to do"
"Well, normally you'd have to do walk around in circles and pretend to look at the wine all day. Unfortunantly, Jack will be helping us out tomorrow, so he'll be doing some of the looking. You just Walk around all day"
"Seems easy enough."
The next day, Cliff and Jack meet in the basement of Aja Winery with Duke.
"Okay...Jack you inspect the wine and make sure its all here. Use this check sheet to make sure it is. Cliff, you walk around and pretend like what you do is important"
"I'm good at that"
"I'm sure you are. Well guys, I'll be back around noon." says a semi sober Duke as he stumbles up the stairs.
"I just want to thank you again Jack. If it weren't for you, I'd be leaving Mineral Town"
"Oh it's nothing. Hey...Look at this wine bottle. It's dated back to 1666...whoa...the last three numbers are"
"six...six...six"
"Exactly. I wonder what it tastes like"
"I don't know. Let's drink some"
"Are you sure we should"
"Why not"
"Well the bottle is very old and its glowing as if it contains some sort of life changing magical force of doom"
"Hakunamatata"
"What"
"I dunno. I saw it in a movie once. It means drink the glowing 1666 wine"
"Well if it was in a movie...okay." With a gulp and a glug, Jack and Cliff drink the ancient glowing wine"
"Whoa...That was weird...I think my stomach is fizzing"
"You mean your throat Jack"
"No...my stomach is fizzing...and gurgling now"
"Mine isn't. Guess I didn't drink enough of it!" With that, Cliff drinks the rest of the bottle.
"AH! THERE'S THE FIZZ...AND THE GURGLE...AND THE"
"Explosion"
"EXPLOSION! AHHH...wait no...you idiot. There's a popping sound...a sound that sounds like rap music...ew..." PHHHHBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTT!
"EW CLIFF! You...well ya know"
"Farted"
"YOU CAN'T SAY FART IN THIS STORY! IT HAS TO BE CLEAN AND WHOLESOME FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"
"Jack...We just drank a ton of wine, not to mention the fact that Duke was drunk during his lines! I don't think the word FART is really that big of a deal compared to the drinking and drunkness"
"Meh...true. OH MY HARVEST GODDESS! YOU'RE GLOWING"
"Speak for yourself"
"AH! OH MY HARVEST GODDESS! I'M GLOWING! AAHHHH"
"Why do I have the sudden urge to harm you and the rest of Mineral Town"
"I'm not sure but why do I have the sudden urge to stop you from harming me and the rest of Mineral Town"
Suddenly, Cliff's skin turns turns gray, eyes turn bright glowing green, and his clothes turn black.
"CLIFF! WHAT'S GOING ON! OH NO! I'M CHANGING TOO! AHHH"
"WHO IS CLIFF? I AM CLIFF-LORD, THE SUPREME OVERLORD OF MINERAL TOWN"
"HEY!" Yells Duke, "What's with all the ruckus HICCUP! Jack! Cliff! Where are you"
"I TOLD YOU FOOLISH DRUNKARD! I AM CLIFF-LORD, THE SUPREME OVERLORD OF MINERAL TOWN"
"AND I AM JACK, THE SUPER FARMER! I SHALL DESTROY YOU CLIFF-LORD"
"OH MY HARVEST GODDESS!" Screams Duke, "TELL ME YOU DIDN'T DRINK THE 1666 GLOWING WINE! THAT IS THE GLOWING 1666 LIFE CHANGING MAGICAL FORCE OF DOOM WINE"
"OH WE DID AND IT WAS YUMMY! MWAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Yes, I admit, I had a sip"
"Oh crap"
"ENOUGH POINTLESS TALKING FOOLISH DRUNKARD AND SUPER HERO WANNA BE! I, CLIFF-LORD, HAVE THINGS TO BLOW UP AND PEOPLE TO ANNOY!" With that, the newly created (Thanks to the Glowing 1666 Life Changing Magical Force Of Doom Wine) Cliff-Lord dashes up the stairs and out of the winery.
"Are you all right Jack"
"My name is JACK THE SUPER FA...Oh Whatever. For the sake of keeping my name consistent in all three JTSF stories, just call me Jack"
"Like I said, Are you all right Jack"
"I think so Duke. What makes that wine so magical"
"I'm not sure. All I know is that if you drink it, you are given powers. BUT! If you drink too much of it, you will get the powers AND you will be made evil. That must be why Cliff became evil and you did not."
"That makes sense. I drank a little sip and Cliff drank the rest"
"HE DRANK THE REST! That's not good! He's nearly unstoppable by now then"
"What should we do Duke"
"Get ready for the battle of your life"
"Gee...I've never fought a battle in my life before...Oh wait...there was that time that last week when one of my chickens got loose and I had to"
"Whatever...Go prepare"
So our newly created hero leaps up the Aja Winery Basement stairs in a single leap. He then dashes home and prepares for battle.