A/n: This one shot takes place after "Dark Dynasty" in season 10. There are some mentions of events in seasons 8 and 9 as well. Also brings up a moment in an"Book of the Damned" in season 10 too.
THank you to anyone who reads, reviews, or favorites this. Thank you LilyBolt and miXiZ for your past reviews and for your support as well as jojospn for your recent reviews.
I don't own SPN or any of the characters.
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
She hadn't been a Winchester, at least, not by blood. She still hadn't been a custom to their ways. The Winchester men didn't use these three words together like she had, it wasn't necessary. They always knew how they felt, words were never needed. In some cases, the brothers used one word to express their feelings for one another. It had started back when they were still just boys. It was always the youngest who initiated it, which made sense since of all of the Winchester men, he was the one most in tuned and unashamed of sharing his feelings. One word that when meant in the way of admiration, was always said in a low voice, sometimes even with the hint of a chuckle. To which the older would respond with another single word not quiet as low, but more definite, sharp but not hostile. It was said so sincerely, never a hesitation. The two shared this with one another, using it as a substitute or an abbreviation of sorts for the powerful three letter word.
She however, had never encountered the boys' word exchange. She only saw how they interacted, how they communicated, how they worked together. It was almost like clockwork. They moved so beautifully, like they were synced. They followed each other's lead and got themselves, and others, out of some truly terrifying situations. They had started out strangers with some strange ways, then grew to not necessarily welcomed acquaintances, then began an unlikely friendship that led to much needed family. She didn't have much in the way of interacting with the younger brother, which was funny given that they were both skilled in the art of technology. It hadn't made her feel any less for him then she did for the older Winchester though. She had even shared a truly revealing and deep conversation with him about their lives. Hers had changed drastically, but for what ended up being, in her opinion, for the better. The Hunter life, was the life. Who would have thought? She certainly hadn't. She had had a whole different idea of what her life was going to be like prior to the Winchesters and finding out about the supernatural. But she had learned something new about the brother. He had never wanted the life, he had always wanted something normal. It had come as a surprise to her. He had never mentioned it before or acted like he was unsatisfied with being a hunter or his life, yet he had admitted that he had left hunting to go to school. From there he had met Jessica, lost her, and vowed to complete one more job before settling down again. That job grew into another which had grown into another and so on and so forth. She had seen revelation strike him as he went one to tell her that he actually loves his life, something that he probably hadn't said in a long time if ever. However he was only willing to commence his life as a hunter, if he had his brother by his side, he hadn't wanted to do it without him. She had understood. His brother's condition must have been worse than she had thought to bring such angst to the younger man's face. She had been able to tell he was fighting back tears, and starting to lose. It broke her heart to see him in such a state and she had seen first hand how the older man had been starting to lose himself to the curse. The boys may not of been her actual brothers, but they had become her family somewhere along the way. They had saved her countless times, though to be fair, they had been part of the reason she had ended up in those situations. But despite them bringing danger with them whenever they would show up or she would be within their vicinity, she never once felt that she wouldn't make it out alright in the end. They were always there to save her, help her, comfort her, whatever she needed at the time. Hell, the oldest had literally brought her back to life at some point.
It had been because she knew that the boys were always there for her, that she had wanted to be there for them, even if they hadn't known it. The younger had come to her with a dangerous task, but it was clear that hope was fading and his options were diminishing. It had been because he trusted her with his brother's life and was in one of those moments where desperate times had called for desperate measures, that she had agreed. The older Winchester had helped her through at least two emotional moments in her life, she owed him. It had been her turn to be there for him like he and his brother had always been there for her.
Even as she stood, knife in hand staring down a one armed monster, she hadn't faltered. Fear wouldn't intervene and ruin the chance of her brother being free to be himself again. The evidence had already been smashed after sending it to her other brother. If her time had come, so be it, at least she would die knowing that thus time it had been she who had taken care of her boys as they had taken care of her. He would be alright.
As the oldest brother stared in front of him, eyes not wandering to any direction but straight as he marched with a pile of wood in his arms, memories flooded him. Their talk about her letting her mother go and in return being asked if he would do the same for his brother. His response hadn't been anything less than what she would have expected. He will never let him go, she had known that. He remembered reassuring her of the Djinn induced nightmare that he had pulled her from in order to keep her from turning to jello. The guilt he had felt after seeing her beat up and bruised by his own hands. He remembered not wanting to look at how bad it was, but forcing himself to anyways. He remembered holding her in his arms and how he hadn't deserved the arms that wrapped around him in response. But of all the things he remembered, it was the three words that brought him to almost break down, to pause while holding her clothed corpse with his head bowed and his hands resting on her.
He never said the words to his brother, he didn't have to. There was always a silent understanding between the two where words weren't needed. But she hadn't been his little brother and he could only hope that she had had the same sense of understanding. The words rang through his mind and pierced his breaking heart as he stood glaring into the fire that now engulfed the pyre that cradled her. She had looked up at him, still full of emotions that she had managed to keep from leaking out, a look on her face and in her eyes that had told him she meant every last word she was about to say with every fiber of her being.
"I love you."