Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the Cullens. Though here are a couple that I wish I did have a claim on!
Good Intentions
There was a twinkling in the air as the firelight shone gold and red from the surface of the coin he was flipping.
Again, a glimmer.
And again.
He sat in front of the fire, paying it little attention. There were hundreds of better things he could be doing right now, but they were all dying in that damned hospital, while he had to sit here and pretend to sleep. The only sound in the room besides the crackle of the fire was the steady swish of the coin twisting up into the air and the soft, dull clink as it hit his skin at the end of its journey.
He flipped it again and again, as he had already been doing for hours. The monotony would be irritating if he hadn't other things on his mind. Right now, he was just trying to distract himself. Killing time.
His lips twisted into a faint smile, too bitter for his strikingly handsome face. A face that could be in moving pictures, according to some of the nurses.
Killing time... that's not the only thing you're considering killing, is it, old man?
Flip.
Is it really killing when he's going to die, anyway? I'm not stealing his life, if he's only got minutes left... I'm saving him.
His gold eyes darkened.
No. I'm saving his body. And... for what?
He knew little about the boy. But what he did know gave the picture of a serious young man who helped his mom. Who wanted to help his country. A boy who was probably guaranteed a spot in Heaven, if he weren't damned to Hell first by a lonely old man who was reading things into a hysterical mother's wish.
Only he knew that she hadn't been hysterical. And she certainly hadn't been hallucinating.
Would I be damning him? Am I marching him down the road to hell for my own, personal reasons? Will I destroy him?
Flip.
But if he doesn't feed... maybe he'll be fine. I won't force him to follow my ways... but if he doesn't taste it... then maybe... Well, it's easier if he never tastes it. He's a good boy. And intelligent... His death would be a great loss. If I had to choose someone...
...
I could say he's my nephew.
Flip. Crimson glinting on the coin's rough edge.
And what if I can't control myself? What if I kill him?
What about my other patients? I'll have to leave the hospital for weeks. To hunt for him. And to hide my eyes...
Flip.
What if he hates me for it? He hardly knows me. He won't understand. I'll be a Dr. Frankenstein to him. And a Dracula. I'll be a monster. And he'll be...
Flip. Gold flashing off its face.
If he doesn't hate me, I could adopt him. Like a son...
The coin clattered to the floor. He didn't hear it, already on the street, his decision made. The next few weeks would be difficult.
He smiled again, something glowing deep in his eyes that had been buried for centuries.
Hope.
No, the turning would be worse than difficult. This was going to be hell to work out.
But it would be worth it...
Author's Note: Yeesh... Carlisle's mind is hard to get into! I hope I did him justice. Anyway, yes, I'm currently obsessed with the Twilight Saga. I'm not abandoning anything else, so no worries...
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