Severus Snape and Return of the Fruitcake OR The Fruitcake Came Back The Very Next Day
"And the Fruitcake Came Back,
The Very Next Day!
We Thought It Was a Goner,
But The Fruitcake came back!"
Professer Snape sat at his desk, marking the ridiculously hard test he gave the Gryffindors a day earlier. "De de de de do...F, F, F, F, D, D, hmm...a B...Wow..ooh! Yay! Another F!" he said happily while marking. "Hehehe..." he cackled. "Stupid Gryffindors!"
Something suddenly caught his eye...Sitting ontop of a pile of papers..was a fruitcake.."What the..bloody hell?!" he said to himself as he stared at the fruitcake. If the fruitcake has eyes, it probably would stare back. A sudden grin crossed Professer Snape's face. "I wonder how far I can kick it!"
Professer Snape ran out of his office with the fruitcake, dropped it infront of him, and kicked it! He kicked it real good!
The fruitcake soared through the air and then...*WHAM!*...The fruitcake hit Professer McGonagall in the head..She twitched a few times, and then yelled "SEVERUS!!! I THOUGHT YOU LEARNED YOU LESSON ABOUT KICKING FRUITCAKES AT ME!!"
"Umm..Uhh...BWHAAAAA!!!" Professer Snape cried as he ran into his office, locking the door tightly. Professer McGonagall was angry.
"He is yet to see me McPissed! When I'm though, we'll have to make it a Blockbuster Night!" she said, afterwards throwing the fruitcake against the wall--but remembering it bounces for some strange reason, she stepped out of the way...and..well..*WHAM!!*
The fuitcake had hit Professer Trelawney, and was now bouncing off the floor, hitting her repeatedly in the face. Professer McGonagall suddenly burst out laughing--which drew Professer Snape out of his office. "What the hell is going..." he began as he walked over to Professer McGonagall, only to seeher pointing to poor Professer Trelawney. Professer Snape couldn't help but burst out laughing and pointing. "HAAHAHHAA!! I bet your crystal ball didn't predict THAT, eh Sybil?!" he said as he laughed.
"Actually..OW!..It..OW!..Did!" Corrected Professer Trelawney.
"Whatever..Well, A fruitcake is beating the crap out of you!" said Professer McGonagall, laughing.
"That's for having a Divinations test the same week as my Potions Test!" said Professer Snape, almost evilly. Professer Sprout saw all this and went over to help poor Professer Trelawney--but Professer Snape stopped her in her tracks. "No no..this is gold!" he said.
"But...." began Professer Sprout.
"700 Galleons that the Fruitcake wins!" grinned Professer Snape, holding his hand out to Professer Sprout. She took his hand and shook it.
"You're on!" she replied, now eagerly watching the fruitcake whacking Professer Trelawney in the face.
"Hey, Sybil?" said Professer McGonagall.
"Yes?" asked Professer Trelawney, looking up..causing the fruitcake to hit her throat and choke him into passing out, the fruitcake coming to a halt on her back.
"Yes! Go Minerva!" said Professer Snape.
"50/50?" asked Professer McGonagall.
"Yeah..I guess.." said Professer Snape.
"YAY!!! WE'RE 350 GALLEONS RICHER!" sang Professer McGongall and Snape, dancing around with each other like idiots. They then suddenly realized something..
"Severus?" asked Professer McGonagall.
"Yes?" replied Professer Snape.
"You're touching me. NEVER McTOUCH ME AGAIN!"
"Yes'um!" he said, immedietly pulling his hands away and wiping them on Professer Sprout's robes. "Ewww...I touched a Minerva McGonagall.."
"Ewww..I touched a Severus Snape.." Said Professer McGonagall, wiping her hands on Professer Sprouts robes as well.
"Um..I can't understand Severus wiping his hands on me..But Minerva..You poor thing..You had to touch IT.." said Professer Sprout.
"Where's my galleons woman?" asked Professer Snape, irritated.
"You'll get them on pay day.." she replied. Professer Snape picked up the Fruitcake, tossed his against a wall, and stepped out of the way.
*WHAM!* The fruitcake hit Professer Sprout in the face, and was now bouncing off the floor and repeatedly hitting her in the face. "OW!..DAMN YOU! OW OW!!" she said as she was attacked by the bouncing fruitcake.
"Severus!" scolded Professer McGonagall.
"Look at it Minerva! It is so damn entertaining!" said Professer Snape,grinning as he watched the fruitcake bounce. Professer McGonagall stepped beside him to watch. She smiled.
"Wow..this IS entertaining!" she said.
"Hey, you said you'd make it a Blockbuster Night!"
"Yeah..." said Professer McGonagall, pouting. "But I wanted to rent Cast Away..."
"Don't worry, that movie was a whole lot of nothing.."
"Really? I heard it was good?"
"Naw..The volleyball was the best part.."
"What's a volleyball?"
"I'm not exactally sure..But FedEx ships them!"
"What's FedEx?"
"I have no clue."
"Oh well...Oh, look...She passed out.." said Professer McGonagall, looking at Professer Sprout, who was knocked out by the fruitcake. "..let's raid her pockets!"
"Good idea!" said Professer Snape.
After raiding Professer Sprout's pockets and finding next to nil, Professer Snape picked up the fruitcake. "I hope this thing NEVER leaves!" he said, kissing it. Professer Dumbledore suddenly appeared and snatched the fruitcake from Professer Snape's hands.
"Yoink! Thank You, Severus!" he said, walking off. Professer Snape hung his head and walked off, pouting. Professer McGonagall followed suite.
--THE END--
Baka Kitsune: Yay!The sequel is done! Huzzah! *glares* Flames will be used to light fireworks for no reason at all. All flamers will be eaten too *growls*
Severus: Minerva..Get the gun...
Minerva: She's still sane!
Severus: Is not! LOOK AT HER! *points to Baka Kitsune, who's sitting on his head*
Minerva: Aww!! How cute!
Severus: u_u;; this hurts, Minerva..it really does..
Minerva: The fact there is an author fox sitting on your head or the fact I don't care?
Severus: T_T both..
"And the Fruitcake Came Back,
The Very Next Day!
We Thought It Was a Goner,
But The Fruitcake came back!"
Professer Snape sat at his desk, marking the ridiculously hard test he gave the Gryffindors a day earlier. "De de de de do...F, F, F, F, D, D, hmm...a B...Wow..ooh! Yay! Another F!" he said happily while marking. "Hehehe..." he cackled. "Stupid Gryffindors!"
Something suddenly caught his eye...Sitting ontop of a pile of papers..was a fruitcake.."What the..bloody hell?!" he said to himself as he stared at the fruitcake. If the fruitcake has eyes, it probably would stare back. A sudden grin crossed Professer Snape's face. "I wonder how far I can kick it!"
Professer Snape ran out of his office with the fruitcake, dropped it infront of him, and kicked it! He kicked it real good!
The fruitcake soared through the air and then...*WHAM!*...The fruitcake hit Professer McGonagall in the head..She twitched a few times, and then yelled "SEVERUS!!! I THOUGHT YOU LEARNED YOU LESSON ABOUT KICKING FRUITCAKES AT ME!!"
"Umm..Uhh...BWHAAAAA!!!" Professer Snape cried as he ran into his office, locking the door tightly. Professer McGonagall was angry.
"He is yet to see me McPissed! When I'm though, we'll have to make it a Blockbuster Night!" she said, afterwards throwing the fruitcake against the wall--but remembering it bounces for some strange reason, she stepped out of the way...and..well..*WHAM!!*
The fuitcake had hit Professer Trelawney, and was now bouncing off the floor, hitting her repeatedly in the face. Professer McGonagall suddenly burst out laughing--which drew Professer Snape out of his office. "What the hell is going..." he began as he walked over to Professer McGonagall, only to seeher pointing to poor Professer Trelawney. Professer Snape couldn't help but burst out laughing and pointing. "HAAHAHHAA!! I bet your crystal ball didn't predict THAT, eh Sybil?!" he said as he laughed.
"Actually..OW!..It..OW!..Did!" Corrected Professer Trelawney.
"Whatever..Well, A fruitcake is beating the crap out of you!" said Professer McGonagall, laughing.
"That's for having a Divinations test the same week as my Potions Test!" said Professer Snape, almost evilly. Professer Sprout saw all this and went over to help poor Professer Trelawney--but Professer Snape stopped her in her tracks. "No no..this is gold!" he said.
"But...." began Professer Sprout.
"700 Galleons that the Fruitcake wins!" grinned Professer Snape, holding his hand out to Professer Sprout. She took his hand and shook it.
"You're on!" she replied, now eagerly watching the fruitcake whacking Professer Trelawney in the face.
"Hey, Sybil?" said Professer McGonagall.
"Yes?" asked Professer Trelawney, looking up..causing the fruitcake to hit her throat and choke him into passing out, the fruitcake coming to a halt on her back.
"Yes! Go Minerva!" said Professer Snape.
"50/50?" asked Professer McGonagall.
"Yeah..I guess.." said Professer Snape.
"YAY!!! WE'RE 350 GALLEONS RICHER!" sang Professer McGongall and Snape, dancing around with each other like idiots. They then suddenly realized something..
"Severus?" asked Professer McGonagall.
"Yes?" replied Professer Snape.
"You're touching me. NEVER McTOUCH ME AGAIN!"
"Yes'um!" he said, immedietly pulling his hands away and wiping them on Professer Sprout's robes. "Ewww...I touched a Minerva McGonagall.."
"Ewww..I touched a Severus Snape.." Said Professer McGonagall, wiping her hands on Professer Sprouts robes as well.
"Um..I can't understand Severus wiping his hands on me..But Minerva..You poor thing..You had to touch IT.." said Professer Sprout.
"Where's my galleons woman?" asked Professer Snape, irritated.
"You'll get them on pay day.." she replied. Professer Snape picked up the Fruitcake, tossed his against a wall, and stepped out of the way.
*WHAM!* The fruitcake hit Professer Sprout in the face, and was now bouncing off the floor and repeatedly hitting her in the face. "OW!..DAMN YOU! OW OW!!" she said as she was attacked by the bouncing fruitcake.
"Severus!" scolded Professer McGonagall.
"Look at it Minerva! It is so damn entertaining!" said Professer Snape,grinning as he watched the fruitcake bounce. Professer McGonagall stepped beside him to watch. She smiled.
"Wow..this IS entertaining!" she said.
"Hey, you said you'd make it a Blockbuster Night!"
"Yeah..." said Professer McGonagall, pouting. "But I wanted to rent Cast Away..."
"Don't worry, that movie was a whole lot of nothing.."
"Really? I heard it was good?"
"Naw..The volleyball was the best part.."
"What's a volleyball?"
"I'm not exactally sure..But FedEx ships them!"
"What's FedEx?"
"I have no clue."
"Oh well...Oh, look...She passed out.." said Professer McGonagall, looking at Professer Sprout, who was knocked out by the fruitcake. "..let's raid her pockets!"
"Good idea!" said Professer Snape.
After raiding Professer Sprout's pockets and finding next to nil, Professer Snape picked up the fruitcake. "I hope this thing NEVER leaves!" he said, kissing it. Professer Dumbledore suddenly appeared and snatched the fruitcake from Professer Snape's hands.
"Yoink! Thank You, Severus!" he said, walking off. Professer Snape hung his head and walked off, pouting. Professer McGonagall followed suite.
--THE END--
Baka Kitsune: Yay!The sequel is done! Huzzah! *glares* Flames will be used to light fireworks for no reason at all. All flamers will be eaten too *growls*
Severus: Minerva..Get the gun...
Minerva: She's still sane!
Severus: Is not! LOOK AT HER! *points to Baka Kitsune, who's sitting on his head*
Minerva: Aww!! How cute!
Severus: u_u;; this hurts, Minerva..it really does..
Minerva: The fact there is an author fox sitting on your head or the fact I don't care?
Severus: T_T both..