The love that she gives is like a virus flowing through my veins that just makes me feel as if I was in a haven. With each passing second I find myself thinking more and more about her and imagine her right in front of my own eyes smiling with such a delightful beauty. Even at times I can't help but feel a bit bashful and only wonder, "how did someone with an angelic beauty, divine personality, blissful voice came into my life." Hell even in your own mind you think," I'll never be as beautiful, perfect, and angelic as her." Even as days pass your heart aches more and more for her as if there was a time bomb inside your heart ready to explode with a lust for her love. Sure we may have our fights but only reason I choose not to engage but rather stand my ground is only because I want her to be happy in life. I'll admit I'll always love her till the end and no matter what happens I'll always stand by her side just like a soldier fights for what they believe in.
At times I just can't go not one second without thinking about her or just picturing her right in front of me spending every moment together. I can just feel the touch of her smooth silky skin running up against my own body. I can only picture how exquisite her smile must be, when she's shy, blushing, and even giggling. The more I think about it the more it just makes me smile. The one thing that just echoes in my head is her celestial voice. Ah, just reminiscing about the days we talked over the phone was just one of those moments I'll never forget. Even that day she sent me that picture of us still always makes me smile through those painful moments in life. I just can't help but smile and even giggle a bit at that picture, I truly fell in love with her artwork. Do I ever want to let go of her art work? Fuck no, it's the most beautiful artwork I've ever seen. Although I will admit, I am a bit curious as to what other artwork has she drawn of us. Even today I still remain waiting in hopes of seeing more of her divine artwork.
I know I may not be extremely rich, nor even good looking, and I'll admit I am a complete dork…but the one thing I do and will always continue to do till the end, is to give her the world. It may feel like a journey but in the long run it's well worth it. I think I've had happiness in my life long enough so now it's time to share my happiness, even with what little I have, with someone I dearly love. All I just want in life is for her to be happy in life. Even If I have to trade my own desires just to fulfill hers then so be it. Even though I may feel a bit useless I still try my best just to stand by her side till the end. In life, if it's taught me one thing, is that if you truly love someone…you'll always do whatever it takes just to make sure they're happy in life, even if it means that they have to hurt you in the process. It's the one constant thing in life that just makes you smile no matter what.
I know through her eyes she may at times see me as that constant screw up, and yes I do beat myself up every time I hurt her feelings, I don't like seeing her being hurt not one bit. I try my best just to show her that through my eyes not only I see the beautiful divine girl that swept me away but an illustrious angelic queen. I may not even have much but even with what little I do have, I share it with her not only to see her smile but also for her to be happy. Heh, probably the main reason I even made dream her…was really to ease the pain I had of not being able to be with her. At times depression just sucks me in like a tornado destroying everything in its path.
Nevertheless, I know I may suck at it but I still try, fight and do my best that I can not only for her love but also to change her world. A guy can only continue to dream that only one day. Even if she tries to push me away, I'll still watch her from the shadows just so she can be happy in life. I know I have a lot to endure and a lot to learn about life but still only way you'll know you'll achieve what you want in life is to fight for what you believe in. The scars, both physically and emotionally, teach you from your own mistakes in life and just makes you stronger and gives you that courage to fight for what you believe in. Now, I just see my life as expendable. Nevertheless, if it's going to be expendable, I might as well make it count.
She can try and push me away all she wants but there is always going to be one thing I will always do, and if I have to go against her or even against the world just to live up to the promise of being with her through thick and thin then so be it. After all, in life and in love, you fight for one thing and one thing only and that's for each other to be happy. The one thing that never dies is how you see the one you care about, is their happiness. I will never forget what my real dad did, at least before he passed away, and that was to always care about my own mother's happiness. *tear* if there's one thing I probably inherited from my dad's side of the family is that they may conceal their emotions through anger and rage but regardless they will always deeply care about those they love. And I know for me that feeling won't die and will never die when it comes to being blinded by love. I know I've been happy long enough, but now it's my turn to share that happiness with someone you deeply care about. Even if they are feeling angry and the world has gone against you, there's always that one mission you will always carry out till the end…and that is to make sure she's happy in life…no matter how much it hurts you. Even if I have to go to such extremes of pushing myself and maybe damaging my body, then so be it…because in the end you want one thing and one thing only…that's to make sure she's always happy.