Dirty Little Secret

By: esmtz

"Hey do you guys wanna come by my place today and check out the new Destiny game I just got for the Xbox One?" Stan had just finished asking just as Cartman came out of his house and made his way to the car.

The boys were already in their junior year of high school and unlike the other guys Stan was the only one with a driver's license.

"Hell yeah dude that game looks sweet!" Kyle replied as Cartman got in the back seat next to Kenny and closed the door behind him.

"You got an Xbox One dude? I thought you were more of a PS4 fan." Kenny said looking at him as Stan began to back out of the driveway.

Stan shrugged.

"A lot of the guys at school kept saying that I should get it because the game play and the graphics are awesome."

Cartman snorted.

"What Cartman?" Kyle asked turning to look behind him already annoyed.

"That game looks like it totally blows ass. How much you wanna bet it's going to be as gay as gaylo."

"Dude! Halo is an awesome game don't call it gaylo you fucking retard!" Kyle replied angrily glaring at him.

Cartman snorted again as he grinned at him.

"Of course you would like it because you're a fag!"

"Fuck you, fatass! I'm not gay!"

"Ay! I'm not fat I'm just big boned!"

Stan sighed as he continued driving towards the high school trying hard not to pay too much attention to their argument.

"Seriously don't you guys get tired of fighting all the time? I mean you guys have always been like this ever since we were kids." Kenny said looking from one to the other.

"Hey it's not my fault that Khal is a Jew and has a fucking bitch for a mom!" Cartman replied grinning even more as Kyle's whole face turned red from anger.

"Goddammit, Cartman! Don't call my mom a bitch!"

'Well she kinda is.' Stan thought to himself.

Kyle and Cartman continued arguing for the rest of the ride until they finally got to the school. Stan quickly found a place to park his car and as soon as everybody was out and had grabbed their backpacks he locked the car and started making his way to the school where he immediately saw that Wendy was already their waiting for him at the entrance to the school.

"Well guys I guess I'll see you later and guys try not to kill each other by the time school gets out." Stan said before making his way towards Wendy.

Cartman watched as the two kissed rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

"Goddamn hippies seriously can't they stay away from each other for at least a day? It's getting incredibly annoying." Cartman muttered to himself.

Kyle sighed not having heard what Cartman said since at that moment he had seen Butters get picked on by some of the guys that were in their class and decided to go and stop them assuming that whatever Cartman said it was probably just another insult.

"Let's go, fatass." Kyle said as he made his way towards Butters and the other guys.

Kenny however just stood there for a second looking at Cartman with a raised eyebrow. He had his suspicions for awhile, but decided against confronting Cartman about it. He already knew that the fatass most likely liked Kyle due to the fact that they were always constantly fighting and lately every time Kyle and him actually got into a physical fight it almost seemed as if Cartman enjoyed it or at least was aroused by the fact that Kyle was touching him even though it was just him punching him. Kenny also thought that it was strange how lately he couldn't help but notice the fact that Cartman always insulted either him, Kyle or Wendy, but not so much Stan. In fact he couldn't even remember the last time Cartman insulted Stan besides insinuating that he and Kyle were gay for each other but even then that was always aimed at Kyle. Kenny frowned as they made their way towards Butters and watched as a teacher came out and put a stop to what they were doing. Finally after a couple of hours the guys made their way to lunch.

"Those were the longest hours of my life! I felt like the teachers were taking their sweet ass time to finish with their dumbass lectures!" Cartman said as soon as he got his food and made his way to the table that Kyle and Kenny were sitting at.

Kyle sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose clearly getting irritated with Cartman.

"Cartman, seriously you're acting as though this is new to you and it's not so just stop your bitching already." Kyle said giving him a look that clearly implied that he was giving him a headache.

"Well, I wouldn't be bitching, Khal if the teachers or the time didn't move by so slowly." Cartman replied just as he sat down and looked around frowning slightly.

"Dude, if you're looking for Stan he's eating lunch with Wendy again." Kenny told him as he was checking a couple of girls who passed by their table giggling.

Kyle frowned as he looked at Cartman.

"I wasn't looking for him you poor piece of shit! I was just looking around to see if there were any girls that piqued my interest." Cartman replied glaring at him before returning to his meal.

Kyle snorted.

"Yeah right like any girl would fall for you fatass. You're too much of an asshole and a fat fuck that no one in their right mind would want to go out with you."

"AY! I'm not that fat anymore you fucking Jew! In case you hadn't noticed I've lost some weight over the past couple of years!" Cartman replied angrily.

It was true. Before he was still considered extremely fat for his age, but lately he's been cutting back on eating a lot and working out when he had the time. Of course it was mostly his mom's idea to get him to start working out in the first place. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Knowing you, you only lost that weight because your mom forced you too or you had someone give you liposuction. I seriously doubt that you would have worked out on your own especially since you're not exactly the type of person to work hard at all. You'd rather have someone else do the work than doing it yourself."

"That's school work, Khal. This is different."

"I don't see how fatass it's not like you're trying to impress someone."

Cartman didn't say anything as he felt himself turn slightly red. Kyle raised an eyebrow wondering why Cartman didn't respond. As soon as they were done eating they quickly went looking for Stan since he wasn't in the cafeteria before their next class started which for once Stan was in.

"How much you want to bet that he's with Wendy?" Kenny asked as they made their way down the hallway towards the lockers.

"Of course he's with her. He's ALWAYS with her. Stupid son of a bitch doesn't know when to hang out with his friends instead of that fucking whore." Cartman replied gritting his teeth with his hands in his pockets.

This made both Kyle and Kenny look at him in shock. They knew he hated Wendy, but they never really fully knew why.

"Um dude that's his girlfriend if he wants to be with her during school time then fine. He always hangs with us after school and on weekends anyway so what's up?" Kenny asked.

Cartman blushed slightly as he stared at the floor.

"Nothing." He mumbled.

Cartman knew he shouldn't be upset and yet he didn't really even know WHY he was upset in the first place. He hated both Wendy and Stan so he couldn't understand why he was feeling this way at all like he was jealous.

"Dude, are you jealous?" Kenny asked making Cartman turn a darker shade of red.

"OF COURSE I'M NOT! Why the fuck would I be jealous? Both of them are nothing but stupid fucking…"

Cartman stopped before he could finish his sentence as his eyes went wide when he saw them going at it in front of the lockers. Wendy's back was pressed against the lockers with her eyes closed and her arms around Stan's neck kissing him passionately. They hadn't even noticed that they were being watched as they kept kissing.

"Dude, this is hot!" Kenny said grinning wishing he had a camera on him.

Kyle had been quiet the entire time looking from Cartman to Stan and then back to Cartman with a hurt look on his face. Stan and Wendy quickly pulled apart when they heard Kenny making them both blush when they saw them just standing there looking at them.

"Oh hey guys I didn't notice you guys there." Stan grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, uh you were really going at it, Stan…" Kyle said feeling completely awkward of having just witnessed his best friend making out with his girlfriend.

Cartman's face was red with anger and was glaring at Wendy with a hateful look in his eyes. Wendy glared back wondering what his problem was this time.

"What the fuck do you want fatass?!" Wendy asked not liking the look he was giving her.

Stan frowned wondering what Cartman's problem was. He knew that Cartman never liked Wendy, but the look he was giving her seemed to suggest that he hated her for a new reason, but before he could even ask Cartman took off running the other way leaving the others in total confusion.

"What the hell was that all about?" Stan asked with a raised eyebrow as he looked at Kenny and Kyle hoping one of them could tell him what was going on.

Kyle, feeling completely hurt, headed straight for class. Kenny just shrugged and shook his head.

"I have no idea." Kenny replied as he thought that now he had a reason to go and talk to Cartman.

Author's notes: I'm not exactly sure why I started writing this, but there you go. This is my first StanXCartman fic and I'm not sure whether I'm going to continue it or not it's just something that popped into my head. Anyway technically it's both a StanXCartman and KyleXCartman and since I like both couples I have no idea how to end this. Oh well I'll just write and see what happens.