November, AC 204

"What had you planned to do?"

Face turned away, Duo didn't answer.

"You were going to go anyway, weren't you?" Sally's voice registered shock and anger, even while it remained flatly professional. "Have you even told them what's going on?"

Again, Duo remained silent.

"Don't you think they deserve to know? Have you considered how it might affect them? Did you even stop to think about them if something happened on the way?"

Stubbornly, Duo still said nothing. Frustrated, Sally threw up her hands and her voice lowered to an icy calm. "Well, then, if you don't tell them, I will."

That—finally--got a reaction, as Sally had known it would. "You wouldn't! Whatever happened to doctor-patient confidentiality?" Duo's eyes were dark with anger as he bit out the words.

"So sue me." Sally's voice remained implacably calm.

Duo deflated instantly in the face of her threat, a threat they both knew was made neither lightly nor idly. "Please Sal," he begged. "Please don't …"

"Tomorrow, Duo," said Sally. "You have until tomorrow. Or they'll hear it from me. It's your choice."

Three years ago

Once upon a time, Duo had been told threesomes were wrong. Well, not in so many words—mostly, he'd been taught that flirting with girls unless you planned to get married was a sin and when one of the kids asked—Anna had been ten, and Duo was pretty sure she'd turned tricks before ending up at the orphanage—they were taught that sex outside marriage was a sin, and that boys having sex with men was a sin. So it kind of went without saying that you couldn't carry on with more than one person at the same time.

Father Maxwell had been so sad while he'd explained it all to them. Duo didn't know until afterwards that he'd asked Sister Helen to have a quiet discussion with Anna later that night, had only found out when he'd realized Anna had had to do an extra ten Hail Mary's every evening for the next week. Duo had been a little angry about that—Anna had only done a few tricks; she hadn't wanted to, she hadn't done it regularly, and she had only done it for food, not drugs. But he had held his tongue. Anna hadn't seemed too upset about the penance, and she hadn't asked his opinion. Besides, when he'd started to say something, she'd very clearly told him to shut up and mind his own business. She'd been two years older than him, and all the kids knew better than to mess with Anna.

But then the orphanage had burnt down, and he'd ended up back on the streets, and this time without Solo's protection. He'd had to do several questionable things, and some things that he knew were plain wrong, and lots of things he hadn't wanted to do at all, before he began his training as a teenaged terrorist. Being asked to kill hadn't seemed the worst of the things he'd been asked to do over the last thirteen years.

Anna had been one of the many who'd died in the fire.

So, even though he'd been taught that Father Maxwell's God abhorred anything but sex outside a conventional marriage, L2 and the subsequent war had taught him that a moral compass needed to be somewhat malleable to survive. And with all he'd seen and done, he'd never quite been able to bring himself to believe in that loving, merciful, compassionate God that Father Maxwell had told him about all those years ago. Sin or no, if it didn't hurt anyone, and was enjoyable, Duo didn't much care.

So when Wufei approached him—assuring him that Yuy was fine with it, and knew all about it—and as soon as Heero followed up and confirmed it--he was ok with it. He loved them both, even if he wasn't in love with them at the time—and the sex was good. Comfortable and steady—not to mention hot. Both Fei and Heero were damned fine looking men, and if they wanted him, even for a short time, who was he to object? Take what you can, Maxwell, he'd told himself, before they moved on. As he knew they would.

After a few months, he'd moved into their place. At their invitation. Because his place wasn't much, Heero had said calmly, reciting the facts--and this way it was more convenient, as Wufei casually pointed out. They were right, and Duo didn't hesitate, or ask questions—or refuse. Even though he wondered why, even though he'd imagined they'd have long since moved on, even though he felt he should've said no--because he had expected them to have long since moved on, and wasn't entirely sure why they hadn't—and even as he could feel the shadow of Shinigami grow darker. But he never outwardly let on as to any of his misgivings. "Never look a gift horse in the mouth", Sister Helen used to say. Wufei and Heero had always been up front and direct with him, they were right, and it was no use pretending otherwise. It never paid to worry about tomorrow, Solo had taught him, when you were hungry today.

That had been almost two years ago. Heero was someone, now, at the Preventers—an officer, a gentleman, an all around standup guy, especially now that he'd settled down some after the war. Wufei had reverted to a large extent to what Duo imagined he'd been before the wars and his Gundam training—cultured, a bit dreamy, quiet and reserved, an academic and an idealist. And him?

He couldn't seem to shake the wars, and his past didn't leave him much to fall back on. He wondered, sometimes, why'd survived, why God had let him—he didn't have much to offer in peacetime. He did odd jobs—did a stint on L2, worked salvage yard with Hilde for a while--mechanic work, refused working full-time for the Preventers because he knew he didn't have the discipline, and couldn't, after his time as Oz's guest, bring himself to work for anyone associated with Oz. Just … couldn't. Heero had brought it up one night, when Wufei was late at work, after Duo had successfully completed yet another of the special contract missions that they offered him from time to time, but Duo hadn't wanted to discuss it, and when Heero had persisted and refused to be distracted by sex, and when even a flat refusal to discuss the issue didn't seem to budge the guy, Duo just stood up and walked out of the room. He'd found an alley to sleep in, come back in the morning, showered and came down for breakfast and acted like nothing was any different.

Duo couldn't quite figure out why he'd come back.

Heero hadn't raised it again, hadn't even tried.

So he moved in with them, because it wasn't like, as they suggested, he had much better to do. And if he resented his comparative lack of stability, lack of much to offer; if he thought they felt sorry for him, or their offer was motivated by pity, he made sure he didn't let it affect his behaviour. He made sure he contributed as much as he could—and to add to that, made sure he was always cheerful, and upbeat, and helpful around the house. He fixed things, cleaned things, cleaned up after himself, even cooked to the best of his ability—and acted generally just like he really belonged. He made sure he didn't bring his bad moods home, tried as much as he could to be sensitive to theirs--and if every now and again Heero noticed something was off, or 'Fei gazed at him curiously, he ignored it and distracted them into forgetting as well.

And every now and again, he let himself, when he was warm and fed and comfortable in their large bed, let himself pretend. Let himself pretend that they loved him, and he wasn't just a spice in their relationship. Let himself pretend that it had been almost a three whole years, and two with them living together, and despite his bad habits, they hadn't gotten rid of him yet—so maybe it was more than just a passing fancy on their part. That he was not just a convenience, but that they really cared for him, and weren't just waiting to get rid of him. Let himself pretend that when they woke him and soothed him after the nightmares that were an embarrassing weakness the other two did not seem to suffer meant that they cared, not just that it had disturbed their sleep or was simple kindness.

Let himself pretend that even if he didn't try as hard as he did to be cheerful and upbeat and helpful that they'd keep him around anyway; that he wasn't just acting, but that he'd actually found a place to belong.

So, yeah, when people said threesomes were wrong—Duo couldn't give much of a shit at all.

Six months ago

He'd been offered another of those super-secret missions for the Preventers—he didn't want to work for them full time, but they offered him lucrative contracts and he took them, whenever he felt short on cash. He didn't need a lot, but he hated to feel like a leech, and Wufei and Heero both lived a lot more lavishly than he was used to. So, he'd said yes when they came, even though he hated the soul-draining nature of whatever they usually wanted him to do. This particular mission one was on L3. Duo had never been to L3 before.

He'd had no idea that an alternate strain of the plague that had hit L2 was still virulent on L3. Had had no idea that most children—except, possibly, the street rats of L2, almost twenty years ago—were routinely inoculated as infants against the plague.

Duo had contracted the plague on L2, but he'd been one of the lucky ones. He'd survived, not much the worse for wear. What he hadn't known was that the plague had left his immune system weakened. And in the last days of the L3 mission he'd grown exhausted and stressed, forgetting to eat properly without Heero there to nag him and Wufei around to lecture him, so focussed on going home he stayed up late and woke early in an effort to hurry things along. Leaving his immune system even more vulnerable to attack than usual.

But when he picked up the bug and returned to Earth with it, he knew he was run down, bone-tired, and heartsick. He chalked up his weakness, his feeling of being "off", even the pain as a side-effect of the mission. He usually felt like crap after those kinds of missions, anyway, even if he managed to return injury-free which, incidentally, he hadn't this time. It was part of the reason Heero and Wufei always hated it when he went, and always complained, verbally and non-verbally, when he returned. Duo figured their upset was mostly because whenever he came back, he wasn't up to sex at all for a couple of weeks, usually preferring to sleep alone for a while, after. They never pressured him about the sex, but they never let him get away with sleeping alone for too long, even if he knew the nightmares woke them up. Duo didn't get it, especially as they weren't getting any from him.

Anyway, that's the long story of how he didn't realize he'd picked up the virus, not until it was much too late.