Hey everyone! I'm back… *scary music in background*
This won't make any sense if you've never read my story "Not As It Seems"
This is just a little One-Shot idea that came to me while I was trying to write the One-Shot I was gonna post tonight. However, that one did not turn out so well. That one was gonna have Sam, Dean, and Bella. But, I guess I just didn't feel that one too much. I'm sorry for all you Sam lovers, but there's very little Sam in here. But for you Dean Lovers… be happy! Last note: this One-Shot is for whose birthday was on the 22nd, You told me to update on my story, I hope you like a whole One-Shot better! happy sixteenth birthday!
I do not own Supernatural, nor Twilight. But, I do own all the seasons on DVD and I can see Jensen and Jared as much as I want! Put that in your juice box and suck it, Fan Fiction!
B.P.O.V.
Three months. It had been three months since he left. And two days ago he called for the first time, and I really wished he hadn't. Or, at least, have something other to say or tell me. I sighed. I sat on the bed and kept staring at the same page in my book that I've been on for an hour. I then sighed again and thought about my brother. Oh my big brother, I missed him so much and it was almost like he didn't miss me at all! When he called, I was finally fully happy again. When I heard his voice I smiled, and it wasn't all that forced. That was until he went and told me why he was calling:
"I'm sorry, Bell. I won't be there on Christmas." and then the fake smile was back on and my voice was not really mine.
"Oh, that's okay, Sammy. I understand. Have fun and learn something, okay? I'll be okay. I miss you."
I wasn't okay. That was last week, and now I was worst then ever. I've never had the best Christmas' and the ones that I had in the years that I could remember weren't all that bad, but it wasn't great. Dad mostly wasn't here on Christmas, and I can only remember a handful of times that he was. I sighed again.
"Okay, that's it." I felt my book being moved from under my fingers and felt myself being pulled off the bed.
"Ow, Dean! What are you doing?" I questioned my older brother as he pulled me to my feet. He looked down at me with a soft glare.
"I'm sick of this, Bella. I know you miss him, I miss his dumb ass too, but you can't let it get you down." he told me sadly. I frowned.
"I know, Dean. I just-- it's weird, you know?" I asked him quietly.
"This is the first time he's not gonna be here, I guess it's just… weird." he sighed.
"I know, Iz. I know." his eyes then turned to anger.
"And I don't know why he would call after all this time just to tell you something that is obvious." I sighed.
"He wasn't trying to be mean; I guess he just wanted me to know, so I wouldn't get my hopes up." I told him sadly. He nodded.
"You should eat something." he nodded his head toward the pizza box on the small table a few steeps across the room.
"You barely eat anymore." he told me with worry in his voice. I shook my head.
"Not true. I eat just fine."
"Bella, ever since Sam left, you've haven't been the same. I tried giving you your space, but there's only so much I can do when you wake up screaming at night." I looked away from him. Ever since Sammy left I'd haven't been able to sleep or eat much. I missed him too much. All I really did anymore was help Dean with research, and sometimes if it was a salt-and-burn, Dean would let me go too. Dad hasn't been around much ever since Sam left, but I knew he wouldn't be here for Christmas, either. This year, it would be just me and Dean. Dean was right; I did wake up screaming sometimes because of the nightmares. It was rather funny when I thought of it. I didn't have nightmares when we came back from a hunt. I didn't have nightmares when a demon looked me in the eye and told me they were going to kill me or my family and I would burn in hell. But I had nightmares of my big brother not wanting me around anymore and leaving me behind.
"I'm sorry, Dean." I whispered. He was the only brother I had left, now. At least, 'till my other one came back. If he even came back.
He shook his head.
"No, Izzy. Don't say you're sorry, don't be sorry. I get that you miss him, and without Dad being here much, I get that you're lonely, but I'm here, Izzy, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Okay? I promised you, did I not?" I nodded.
"And you know I don't break my promises. Especially to you." his eye held that promise in them, the one that he had spoken the night Sam left, and the same night Dad stormed out and we've only seen him a few times since.
The promise that said:
I won't leave you, Izzy. Ever,
"I know, Dean. I don't mean to be a downer…" I mumbled sadly.
"Bella, you are anything but a downer, you're the most kick-ass kid I know." he smirked at me, and I pouted.
"I'm not a kid. I'm fourteen."
"And how long have you been fourteen?" I rolled my eyes,
"Beside the point, and I'm not lonely, and I'm sorry if it seems that way." truly sorry. I added in my thoughts. I didn't want to be a downer, even if he said I wasn't, Dean already had enough to handle. He had hunts to do, people to save, hell; he was really the one raising me. Dean being the oldest, and with Dad on hunts all the time, he was the one who looked out for me and Sammy. And now that Sam was gone, I knew he felt as if he had to take even more care of me, never let me get hurt, never let me be alone, never let me feel unwanted. I had told him of my feeling alone and being forgotten after one night of him shaking me awake from another nightmare.
"Izzy? Bella, Bella, wake up!" he had yelled out as he shook me awake. I sat up in the bed, panting and looking around the room only to notice that Dean and I were the only ones in the room.
"Oh, he's still gone." I whispered. My eyes felt dry and I blinked them a few times.
"Oh, Izzy." he sighed as he sat on the bed with me, and turned on the lamp beside my bed.
"What was it this time?" I shook my head.
"It was nothing. I'm sorry I woke you." his green eyes were tired, and his short hair looked out of place.
"It's not nothing, Bella. And don't be, it's not like everyone needs eight hours of sleep a night." he smirked playfully. I still felt a frown on my face.
"I know you miss him, Izzy. I just wish it wasn't like this. It makes me want to go and kick his ass for how he's acting." I sighed.
"Don't, Dean. He's just trying to live his life." I told him.
"And giving up on his family? Izzy, you can't even sleep anymore without nightmares." I filched at the venom tone his voice had to it. He saw my hurt face and sighed.
"You should try to get some sleep. We have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow." he got off the bed and went to turn the light off.
"Wait! Dean…" he turned around and looked at me confused. I looked down at my hands that rested in my lap.
"Do you think, I mean, can you, can you lay down with me? You know, 'till I fall asleep?" I asked him quietly. I looked up and saw him nod.
"Move over." I moved to the other side of the queen size bed, and then cawed back over some when he was in the bed with me. He turned off the light and I laid my head on his arm.
"Don't worry, Izzy-Bells, I won't ever let anything hurt you."
"Thank you, Dean." I whispered.
"Anytime, Izzy." he ran his fingers through my hair and hummed "Stairway to Heaven" until sleep found me.
"It's okay, Iz. I just want you to be happy again. Get the light back in your eyes or something. Look, there's an Arcade down the street form here. You wanna go? I know how much you like them, and it's been awhile." I shook my head.
"I am happy." I mumbled.
"Bella…" he looked far from convinced.
"I think I'm gonna go to sleep." I told him turning around and heading to the bathroom to change.
"Bella, its 8:00." he told me in disbelief at me being tired.
"I'm tired." I lied. He shook his head.
"Can you eat something, please?" he pleaded with me. I wasn't hungry. I didn't get too hungry anymore and I knew that scared him. I ate a piece of pizza just so he would feel better and then went to sleep.
*******
"I'm back." I heard Dean call out as the motel door opened. I turned around in time to see him close and lock the door, then put his bag down.
"How'd it go?" I asked as I lowered the volume on the T.V.
"Took care of it." was his quick answer as he took his jacket off.
"I see you still have your head." I commented, looking at his head that was still on his body. I made the joke to hide my relief that he didn't seem hurt at all. Kubikajiri's were evil suckers, and this one had gotten its hands on a lot of people. And I was just glad that my brother wasn't one of them.
"Yeah, it thought I was too good-looking to touch." he told me with a smirk. I smiled a little and looked down.
"Is it still snowing out?" I asked him, as I looked back up.
"Yeah, it's pretty freakin' cold, here. I don't know why you like it." Whitehorse, Canada, was pretty cold, and this was probably the farthest we had ever gone for a hunt. Three days of driving, and I still felt like I was stuck in the Impala. I felt my lips pull into a small smile.
"I like the snow, Dean. It's nice."
"Mom liked the snow, too." I looked at him shocked. He didn't talk about her a lot, and I knew it hurt him to remember her.
"Really?" he chuckled and scratched the back of his head.
"Yeah, drove Dad crazy. What's on?" he changed the subject and looked at the T.V. I let it go. If he ever wanted to tell me more, he would. I wouldn't push him.
"Holiday Inn," I told him, smiling softly. I loved that movie, but now it made me sadder then ever. It reminded me of Sam. Sammy used to watch it with me and laugh while trying to get his voice to go as deep as Bing Crosby's on "White Christmas" I frowned and sighed.
"Umm, Izzy, you probably already guessed, but Dad called while I was out."
"He's not coming this year, either, is he?" I saved him the trouble of breaking my heart a little bit more.
"He's hung up in Missouri, Demons. Lots of Em' Bobby's with him too. He'd be here if he could, Izzy." I looked down frowning. I would hope that he would've wanted to be here.
"It's fine, Dean. Just the two of us, Guess we Winchesters really know how to kick the family away for the holidays." I tried to joke but I knew he could see through me.
"Izzy," he sighed.
"That's not how it is. And hey, when have we ever had the best of holidays? This isn't any different." he told me.
"Yeah, but I never thought there would be a Christmas without Sammy." I said without much emotion.
"That's his own damn fault. If he could just get his damn head, out of his ass-"
"Dean, leave Sam alone! I know you and Dad don't get it, but I do, and as much as I may want him here, I wouldn't want him here if he wasn't happy." Dean glared.
"That's so like you, Bella. Always pushing aside your happiness for the ones around you," I glared right back at him.
"Is it so bad as to want my brother to be happy?" he shook his hand.
"Not when it brings you plain." I wanted to scream. How many times did I have to tell him I was okay? I may have not been perfect, but I wasn't dying.
"I'm happy, Dean." my voice sounded anything but happy, even to me.
"That's bull, Bella. You're always putting others before yourself, I can tell you're not happy, and really, that shit has to stop." I glared at him.
"You're one to talk! You didn't even think to ask me if I wanted to go with you tonight, instead of being locked up here in this hellhole. Dean, the sheets look like a hooker has been rolling around in it!" I yelled. I hated being left behind on hunts, or just in general. I may not have been on many hunts, but I knew what I was doing. Hell, I did just find with that son-of-a-bitch shape-shifter! Kind of think of it, my ribs still hurt a little bit.
"Bella, you know what a Kubikajiri is, I would be shit-stupid if I brought you there as a human offering!" I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Are you saying I can't take care of myself?" he pushed his lips.
"No. I'm saying you don't need to take care of yourself, because this one was too big a hunt for you." I huffed. Too big for me? Too big for me? I am going to kill him in his sleep!
"Thanks, Dean. Now I really know how you see me: weak." his eyes widen and he looked like he was about to say something, but I stopped him with a glared.
"I'm going to bed. When you're tried of telling me how I feel, and what to do, maybe you could try to sleep too." I went into the bathroom, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and then crawled into bed. I glared at the back of Dean's head as he sat on the small sofa in the middle of the room watching T.V when I looked at the clock on the small bedside table it was 9:00 PM. I wasn't tired, but I didn't feel like staying up and getting into a fight with Dean about Sam's where-a-bouts, and my never-going-a-bouts. With a sigh, I turned off the light. I heard him let out a deep breath.
"No, I don't need to see. That's okay." he mumbled. I rolled my eyes pouting.
"I am happy. I am." I mumbled to myself. Now, if only I could make myself believe that…
**********
"Bella, wake up." a voice told me. I ignored it, thinking it to belong to someone in my dream.
"Go away, Jesse." I mumbled, thinking of the dream I was in.
"Damn it, Bella! I'm not Jesse McCartney!" I then felt myself being shaken.
"Get up, Izzy. Now!" I could now tell the voice belong to none other then Dean.
"What?!" I hissed lazily. As I sat up in the bed,
"Get up. Get dressed." I opened my eyes for the first time and looked at the clock.
"Man, Dean. What do you want? It's 12:00." I moaned.
"Just get up and get dressed. Okay? Five minutes." I rubbed my eyes and looked at his back as he walked away.
"What's going on, Dean? Where are we going?" I got off the bed and my feet hit the cold floor.
"No questions. Come on, move your ass. I'll be in the car." he grabbed his bag and started for the door.
"I thought we were leaving tomorrow?" I called after him. He didn't answer and closed the door behind him.
"What the hell…?" I mumbled as I walked to the bathroom and got dressed.
I was still tired as I walked out into the freezing cold and my shoes sunk into the snow on the ground. There was only so much cold water on your face could do to wake you up at 12:10 AM
"Really, Dean, what's going on?" I asked as I got in the car. As soon as I closed my door, and threw my bag in the back, the Impala was pulling away from the motel. He didn't say anything.
"Okay… okay, I know I was a little bit bitchy, earlier, but that's no reason to kill your only sister." I saw him grin.
"I'm not going to kill you…yet." well, that made me feel a whole lot better.
"You're not telling me where we're going?" I asked him, incredulously. He shook his head.
"No."I huffed. Where the hell was he taking me? What was going on? And who the hell did he think he was, waking me up when I'm dreaming of Jesse McCartney?!
"Dean, just tell me why the hell we're on the road this late. Are you…dropping me, somewhere? Dude, I'm sorry I back talked you!" I told him quickly. I didn't think he would just do off with me, at least, not yet. But who knows, I mean, if Sammy can just leave without a second look, maybe Dean would get tired of being here just as quickly.
"'Course not, Baby Girl. Just sit back and you'll see when we get there." he smirked at me.
"And you wouldn't be so kind as to tell me?" he smirked.
"Hell no, I'm not kind. So shut up, and yeah, just shut up and wait."
"Yay…" I mumbled to myself in a bored tone.
*********
"Alaska? Dean, what the hell are we doing in Alaska?" I questioned, as we passed by an Alaskan street sign.
"Thought we'd try some ice fishin' ya know? I heard it's pretty cool!" he told me happily. I rolled my eyes.
"For real, Dean, What are we doing in Alaska, at 3:00 AM on Christmas?" I was confused beyond belief. The only time we had ever left somewhere in the middle of the night was if whatever we were hunting started hunting us back, or if the cops were onto us. Both never happened a lot.
"Can't you wait? Don't make me tie you up, and put you on the roof of the car like a damn deer." he didn't take his eyes off of the road, but I saw a small smirk on his lips.
"Dean…" he looked at me and glared.
"Don't test me." I bit my lip and nodded.
Bitch.
*******
"Still not telling me?" I asked him as we drove along the empty road to who-knows-where.
"Nope,"
"A hunt?"
"No."
"Hot date?"
"I wish."
"Are you going to kill me?"
"Not today." he smirked. Okay, now I was getting angry.
"Dean, just tell me! Where are we going? Why are we in Alaska?" I raised my voice. He looked the least bit interested.
"Go to sleep, Izzy." I glared at him.
"I'm not tired anymore." he turned his head away from the road and looked at me.
"Do you trust me, Izzy?" I didn't think before I spoke.
"Yes." he turned his head back, and kept his eyes on the road.
"Then don't ask any questions, and we'll be there soon." I sighed.
"I hate you."
"Love you, too."
******
"Izzy, Izzy. Wake up." I heard Dean Call and then a door being closed. I sat up in my seat and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I looked around and saw nothing but the darkness of the sky, and the white of snow on the ground. I undid my seatbelt, and got out of the car.
"Where are we?" I joined Dean in leaning on the front of the Impala. The air was cold, but what could you ask for when you're in Alaska?
"Anchorage." I frowned.
"What are we doing here?" I looked around and saw nothing but trees and snow. He smirked.
"You'll see." I looked down at my watch and rolled my eyes.
"Dean, you brought me out of bed at 12:00 drove six hours, and bring me to the middle of nowhere, just to stare at trees?" he shook his head. I then saw something green in the sky and when I looked up I gasped, almost in fear. Blue and green lights were glowing, almost like the colors were dancing. Curtains of light that rippled and sway, folded and unfolded then suddenly disappear, only to reform in new shapes and colors minutes later.
"Is this…?" I trailed off, staring in shocked at the beautiful colors dancing above me.
"The Northern Lights, and all that shit? Yeah." he chuckled as he watched the lights dance around in the midmorning sky.
"Why did you bring me here?" I questioned him slowly as I kept my gaze at the sky. The cold air made my nose hurt to breathe in, so I sucked in a breath with my mouth. He scratched the back of his head, and gave a small laugh.
"I dunno. I guess I just didn't want you to remember all your Christmas' as a bad thing. I--I guess I just wanted you to have something to remember when you're older, or if, for whatever reason it may be, I'm not here." I looked away from the beautiful sky and at Dean with confused eyes.
"What do you mean, Dean?" he looked at me and I saw the reflection of the lights in his green eyes.
"Izzy… I'm always gonna be here for you. You know that. I know you think that I'm gonna leave you like Sam did. But I won't, Izzy. I promised you, and you're my sister. It's not only my job to take care of you, and pick on you, and make sure you're pissed at me most of the time. It's in my blood.
And I want you to be happy. Even for just a little while. And girls like seeing this kind of shit, right?" and I thought his whole speech was going to be meaningful. Well, it was, until the very end.
"Are you saying you drove all this way, in the middle of the night, just to make me happy?" I asked with deep emotion in my voice. He grinned.
"No need to be a girl about it." I rolled my eyes, and looked back to the sky.
"Oh! Look, Dean! There's purple now!" I told him as I watched the blue and purple intertwined. He chuckled.
"Yeah, Izzy, I can see that." I watched the sky for a little longer then turned to Dean.
"You know, this is probably the nicest, sweetest, thing you, or anyone has ever done for Me." and it was true. I now felt so bad for the way that I had acted toward him the last few hours. I was so caught up on the fact that Dad and Sam wasn't here, that I was forgetting about Dean. He truly was a great brother, and I shouldn't have yelled at him the way I did.
"I thought you would like It." he smiled at me. I smiled back at him and pulled him from the hood of the car and to myself as I hugged him like my life dependent on it.
"Thank you, Dean. Thank you. This is the best Christmas I could have ever asked for." I told him as he patted my hair down, and then pulled away from me.
"And I do not think you are weak, Bella. You're one of the strongest people I know. I just don't want you to get hurt. Don't look at me like that!" he told me as I gave him a look that told him I could take care of myself.
"Just… not yet, okay, Izzy? Not that big of a hunt." I sighed but nodded.
"Yeah, Okay." he smiled, and ruffed my hair.
"I don't have anything for you, yet, Dean." I told him sadly as I remembered that I didn't have time to get him anything. He shrugged.
"It's cool. I don't need anything." I smiled. I would get him something. I just had to found something perfect. We leaned back on the Impala and I watched the lights with a smile on my face and watched as they disappeared and repaired before my eyes.
"I'm sorry about before, Dean. I didn't mean to make it seem like Sam was all I cared about." I told him without looking at him.
"It's okay, Izzy. I know how you feel. But it's okay, he doesn't know what he's missing." he smirked as a green light looked like it was becoming one with the earth. I could just barely make out the sun beginning to rise, and the lights became harder to see.
"No," I agreed with a smile.
"He doesn't." me and Dean watched the Northern Lights 'till it was morning, and the sun made the lights hard too see. So I missed my brother, but that doesn't mean just because one left, the other will. It just means I get to spend more time with my oldest one, and when Sam was ready to come back, he would, and there could be more moments like this one. Outside in the cold, staring up at the Northern Lights, a sight that almost anyone would kill to see, and just being with my big brother, for the first time in months, I felt relaxed, cool, calm, full… for the first time in months, I felt happy. And it was all thanks to my over-protective, big headed, sometimes a bitch, and crazy, but kindhearted big brother.
Well everyone, I hope you liked it! It wasn't very long, but that was all I could think of. By the way, I know it would have took about 13 hours of driving to get from where they were in Canada to get to Anchorage Alaska, but Dean drives fast, and this is fan fiction! So forgive me? Anyway, I hoped you liked it, and please review! One-Shots don't really get reviews and I would be really happy if you took one minute of your time to write one for me. After all, I did take a few days to write this for you! Thank you, and Marry Christmas!
Kubikajiri
In Japanese Mythology, Kubikajiri (首かじり) is a yurei which is seen in graveyards at night. According to legend, the kubikajiri is looking for its lost head. It eats the heads which are not its own, of both dead and living.
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