A/N: This is another fluffy fluff fic that kind of came out of writing my LAST fluffy fluff fic. I am stalling through major writer's block despite having a detailed outline for What is Essential. I usually have to go back and rewatch some of the episodes for that one and I've been really busy and haven't had time to do that. So it will sit for at least now. Anyways, enjoy this. I'm working on an angsty fic now, but not sure if I'll post. I enjoy teh fluff too much, especially now that the season has started and there is no more Tony to watch each week. Enjoy this.
Abby wanted to go dress shopping, which she wasn't sure about. She had a white dress in her closet that would suffice, as Abby insisted on her wearing white. She would prefer something…not white. Maybe blue or green. Or brown or gray or…anything but pure white. It seemed…wrong somehow, given that she had a four-year old who would be in attendance. Besides, the dress she had would be fine. It was a sundress, which she bought for wearing to the beach, but then she'd found out she was pregnant a few weeks after buying it and never wore it. Well now she'd get use of it.
Except her maid-of-honor, self-appointed of course, had had a fit when she learned of that, demanded they go dress shopping the next time she was in town, which she was because she needed to get Tali's passport renewed and it was easier to do so in the United States than in Europe. They also liked visiting with everyone, so they made a point a couple times a year to come back to D.C. It wasn't home. It hadn't been for either of them in a long time. She thought of her home, of both of them, as she wandered through fancy D.C. boutiques, Abby scaring off the prim and proper women working in the shops and positively terrifying other customers with her enthusiasm. "I have never see a maid-of-honor more excited at buying the dress than the bride," one woman had commented.
Well that would be because the dress was not the important thing for her. It was for their friends and their family, not for her. To be truthful, as nice as it was to be married, she knew that he was her partner in more ways than one. They were together in life and she did not need to have it written down on a piece of paper. Except one very important thing happened that prompted them to discuss it. At dinner one evening, their daughter wanted to know why they weren't married and they did not have an answer sufficient for a four-year old. So they would do it. She merely smiled at the woman who made the comment and said that she would be excited when she found the correct dress, which seemed to be the appropriate thing to say.
She ended up with nothing, leaving Abby who had to go back to the lab for something, with assurances that she would have a dress by the following day. In the end, she didn't know what she wanted. There were so many to choose from in so many styles, fabrics, cuts…some weren't for her shape, others weren't for her face…one fitting attendant even said she should not wear ivory because it made her skin look too tan. She did not even know what that was supposed to mean. So she decided to incur Abby's wrath and would show up empty-handed. It was too much pressure; she would just wear the sundress.
"You find a dress yet?"
Even he was pressuring her, she thought, glancing at her phone set in the cupholder of the car. She was at a red light, waiting to head to her next stop. "It does not matter, it is just a dress!"
"Well I wouldn't care if you showed up naked, but you know McGee will be in attendance and that sort of showing off just makes him insecure."
"What the hell are you talking about Tony?"
"Shh! Private conversation with my fiancée and mother of my child."
"You're on Bluetooth right now Tony, I can hear everything that goes on, because you insisted on having me be part of this conversation, for reasons I still can't understand," McGee complained.
"You're my best man, you have to know everything."
She sighed, accelerating into the intersection the second the light turned green, ignoring the car honks as someone attempted to beat a red light, not realizing she was in the other lane. She skirted around a corner, ignoring more honks. These people just did not realize how to drive, she thought, ignoring the shouts when she got in the shoulder. They were stopped for a left turn that was taking too long; she did not have time to wait on this. "Are you both quite finished?" she asked.
"Why yes my love, we are 'quite' finished. So very Mary Poppins of you."
Someone was incredibly hyper, she thought, glancing at the phone again, and her lip quirking up. "Um, well, I am very glad you are having fun with your best man. I will see you later."
"Hey." The tone of his voice immediately changed, like a light-switch, and the ambient noise disappeared. He'd taken her off the speakerphone. She bit her bottom lip. How did he know this upset her? She almost rolled her eyes at her foolishness. Of course he knew. "What's the matter?"
"Matter?" She tried to laugh it off. "Nothing is the matter…I am searching for a dress. I cannot find one. Not the end of the Earth, Tony."
"World, not the end of the world." He chuckled. "Hey…don't beat yourself up about it. Like I said. You could be naked and I wouldn't care. You could be wearing a giant poofy Gone With the Wind hoop skirt or a paper bag and I wouldn't care. Just…just show up for the wedding and don't leave me standing at the altar."
She smiled, feeling much better now. Leave it to him to make her feel better. The rental car came to a stop in front of a driveway, wedging between two cars already parked there. "It is not an altar, it is a chuppah," she mumbled, but was smiling wide, in spite of her rather overall lousy feeling.
"Then don't leave me at the chuppah," he laughed. He sighed again, his voice still soft. "I love you, okay? Now I know you're Ninja Mommy and are supposed to be all tough and all, but don't beat up Abby for being excited about it. Just…let her vent. Let her do her thing. Hey, let her pick the dress."
"She's already picking the flowers, the chuppah, the chairs…"
"Well just let her do the whole thing. Just don't forget the day."
How could I forget, she thought, climbing out of the car. "I promise," she said. She cleared her throat, walking up to the front door of the house where she'd parked, trying the knob and finding it unlocked, of course. "I will see you later. I will come bearing gifts." She was of course not going to bring him any gifts, except perhaps the gift of her presence.
"You promised Page 23 tonight."
"And I never forget a promise, so long as you remember Page 45."
"That one about giving wives quiet time to themselves? I don't think so. Page 23. McGee and Delilah promised to babysit."
"I don't want to know what this conversation is about, do I?" Apparently he'd removed it from the private call setting and it was back to a three-way conversation with poor McGee listening in.
She shook her head, entering the house. "No, you really do not McGee. I will speak with you later. I have very important things to attend to right now."
"Ugh! I miss her."
"You saw her no less than an hour ago."
"Still, I miss her! Can't stop thinking about her. Forgot what she looks like! Show her my photo!" She disconnected before things could get even more excessive. The phone disappeared into her back pocket as she walked around the corner and into the living room, where several books and a few stuffed animals were strewn over the couch. There was a half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich and half-drunk glass of milk on the table. The door to the basement was open. She approached the door quietly, stepping on the first few steps, listening in to the conversation going on below.
There was soft scraping she recognized as sanding. "Do we do this the whole time?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
"Wood needs to be smooth."
"It's boring."
"It's good to do when you need to think."
"I don't need to think."
"Well you're four, sometimes you don't have to think. This teaches you to think."
That seemed to trip her up for a response. They continued to sand, until she turned around, pointing at him with the sander block. "This is fun."
"Yup."
"I like sanding. I like thinking." She paused, patting the sander in her hand and then giggled, slapping it back onto the bow of the boat they were sanding. "I want to be a sander. Forever."
"Not the best career path, stick to it as a hobby."
"Okay."
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be an actress." She paused, but still sanded, blowing sawdust off her hands. "Um, or a please officer. Like Ima and Abba." She sighed again. "Where are they?"
"You don't want to keep sanding with me?"
"I like sanding. I miss Ima."
"And Abba?"
There was a little 'tut' she recognized as her daughter's sign of annoyance. Her little lips pursed as she sanded. "I am not talking to him! He made fun of my shoes."
"Oh no. Well, he doesn't understand what he says sometimes."
"He always knows what he says. He never liked them." That was correct, Tony hated the bright red sparkling shoes that their daughter had wanted to wear every single day. Said that if she was going to be Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, the least she could do was actually dress like her, but she didn't like the blue and white gingham dress he bought her. They argued over it every morning. He could not abide that his daughter was constantly reenacting a movie without fully committing to the part. She finished with some of her sanding and turned, finally spying her standing on the landing, her bright eyes lighting further. "Ima!"
A low chuckle escaped from her as she finished walking down the stairs to the basement, kneeling down to wrap her arms around her little girl. "Oh nishema," she sighed, squeezing her close. It had only been since this morning, but she could not fault Tony for his overly dramatic approach to not being near their daughter. She did not know what it really meant to miss someone until her daughter was out of her sight. "Did you have a fun day with everyone?"
Tali chattered to her about sanding the boat, reading a book with Gibbs, showing him her new stuffed animals, getting lunch with McGee and Delilah, and seeing all the monuments. Each time they came to D.C., they took her to a new museum and today she had missed it, but Ducky took her to the Natural History Museum to show her "skeltons." "Ima, he talked so much, my ear hurt," she finally finished.
She chuckled, kissing Tali's temple and rubbing her back. "Well that is Grand-Ducky, that is what he does. Did you have fun with Grandpa Gibbs?"
"Yes. Did you get me a dress?"
That was the one thing she did have success at finding. The little purple satin and tulle dress had been perfect. It was Tali's favorite color, it had a big sash and bow on it that she knew Tali would love, and the woman in the boutique even had a matching set of ballet slippers for her to wear. "Of course I did. You will look beautiful."
Tali grinned, giving her another hug. She yawned and turned back to the boat. "I'm gonna' sand."
"You do that," she chuckled, recognizing the look in her daughter's eyes. The sun, the heat, and all the activity had wiped her out. It would not be long before she was going to say she was…
"I need a break."
And there she went, she thought with a tiny smile, watching her daughter crawl around into the body of the boat, lying down on the slab of wood and chattering about all they had done that day. She arched an eyebrow in Gibbs's direction, watching as he merely smiled vaguely and handed her the sander Tali had been using. She smiled and started to run it over the wood, noticing that her daughter's chatter had dropped off to mumbling. "It will not be long now," she told him.
"Oh she's fine." He tapped the boat, scowling at her. "With the grain, not against."
Of course, she remembered. She continued to sand, finding it to actually be quite relaxing. She paused and walked over to the end of the boat, peeking in and finding her daughter asleep, soft little snores fluttering from her open mouth. "I'll take her upstairs," he said, walking around her and reached in to the boat. Tali stirred slightly, her head drooping over his shoulder. He patted her back, chuckling. "Come on, nap time."
She smiled warmly, watching him carry her daughter upstairs. It was good for Tali to spend time with him. She was so used to her grandfather, to boisterous Senior, that it was nice to have the calming influence of Gibbs. It was good for her to learn from him. It was also good for him, but that was something she would never in her life admit. Not even to Tony, whom she suspected also knew it. Tali was the exact opposite of Gibbs. She was loud, she was talkative, she sang and danced, and she epitomized all that was good and pure. Unmolded talent, it was his favorite thing in the world, and she could think of no other person she would want helping her daughter become a good person. In a way she hoped Tali would open up Gibbs's heart too. The granddaughter he never got to have, which was why she never corrected Tali, when she was a toddler, calling him Grandpa instead of Uncle.
The sawdust on her hands clouded up into the air as she dusted them, turning to the staircase as it creaked, Gibbs returning. "She's down on the couch," he said, walking over to the workbench, dumping a jar of nails. He brought down a bottle of amber liquid, splashing it into the jar, nudging it towards her.
Well alright, she figured, taking the glass and lifted it up as he saluted her with the coffee mug in his hand. She took a couple of careful sips, setting it down on the bench. "How was she today? Not too bothersome?"
"She couldn't be."
Her eyes narrowed and she chuckled. "She is half-DiNozzo."
He took another few sips from his mug and set it down, letting out a laugh and grin, his eyes crinkling in the corners. It made her smile, beaming, that her daughter could elicit this happiness from him. Something she did not suspect he allowed to happen often. "Yeah, well…that is obvious." He smiled again to her, gesturing with the coffee mug. "But you are also part of her. That is also obvious."
I'm not so sure sometimes. "She may look like me, yes, but she has her father's…ah…everything else."
"Hmm, she's more like you than I think you realize." He set the coffee mug down and walked over to the boat, picking up the sander again. The safety glasses he'd been wearing dropped back onto his nose from their perch on his forehead. "Did you find what you were looking for today?"
No, but of course he knew that. She was not sure it mattered to him. The wedding dress. It was silly, the angst she felt about this article of clothing and how she could not find the perfect one, even after visiting all those stores. "Abby is upset with me," she said. She took a few more sips of the bourbon, turning on her heel and stepping towards him. "Because…because I have not been able to find a wedding dress. I do not believe I even need one."
"Every woman getting married needs a wedding dress." He glanced over top of the boat, flashing a smile. "It's just doesn't have to be what everyone thinks it is."
"Yes, exactly!" She gestured towards him with the glass, taking a final swig, slamming it down onto the bench. She fell backwards onto a stool near the workbench, scowling as she propped her head in her hand. It was so easy to just say that though and another to think it. She moved her left hand into view, studying the diamond ring. She wiggled it on her finger, watching the dimming sunlight from the windows glint off it. Princess cut, 2.5 carats, perfect clarity…they'd joked that he had to get the best one in the store because she knew so much about what made a good diamond anyway. She dropped her hand back into her lap, sighing hard, her shoulders slumping.
He glanced over at her and cleared his throat. "What day is the wedding?"
"October 27," she mumbled.
"Hmm…. few weeks."
Yes. It was in a few weeks and she did not have a dress. "It does not matter," she said. She shrugged and crossed her arms. "I will wear what I want and…and Abby will have to deal with it." She nodded smartly. There. That was that.
He merely grunted a response, finishing with one of the pieces of sandpaper on the block. He walked over to her and peeled it off, dropping the used paper into the trash, and tossed the block onto the bench. He wiggled his finger towards him, beckoning her to follow him. She frowned slightly and moved away from the bench, following him. They went upstairs and she smiled at the sight of Tali curled beneath her pink quilted blanket on the couch. The frown returned and deepened as Gibbs walked up the staircase to the second floor.
She paused, having never been upstairs. This was unchartered territory. What was up there? "Are you coming or not?" he called down from the landing.
"Um…yes," she exclaimed, shaking her head briefly and hurried up the stairs. What was he up to? She saw all the doors were closed, except the one he was opening, at the end of the hallway. Her stomach clenched, stepping into the small bedroom, the walls still painted soft pink. Oh God, this was Kelly's room, she thought, her hand resting on the footboard of the twin bed. It looked like it had been handmade. Probably was. She turned and looked through the room, at the boxes piled into the corners and the dark spots on the wall where there used to be posters, the sun bleaching out the paint around them. The curtains were still closed; she suspected they were never opened. She said nothing, watching him reach up into the closet and take down a long, thin box.
He said nothing and walked over to set the box on the mattress. "Open it," he whispered, taking a large step away from it. Like it was radioactive, she thought, eyeing him warily. He nodded again and gestured. "Go. Open."
Well…she frowned and stepped around to face the box. She ran her fingers beneath the lid and lifted it off, setting it aside. She pushed through old, crinkled, and yellowed tissue paper, revealing the contents of the box. Her hand came up to her mouth, covering her soft exclamation of surprise. "Oh my," she murmured. Lying within the tissue paper was a snow-white veil, made of soft silk tulle. Her fingers touched the trim of it, made of intricate Irish lace. She didn't want to lift it up; too afraid she might damage it.
"It's yours."
No, no, no, she thought, shaking her head in defiance. "I cannot…no…no." She swallowed the lump forming in the back of her throat, willing it to go away. She took a few shaky breaths and pointed to the veil. "This is not…I cannot accept this Gibbs." He remained silent, staring straight at her with his cool blue gaze. She shook her head quickly, like a stubborn child. He sighed hard and strode to the bed, slamming the lid on the box and picked it back up, pushing it against her. She weakly wrapped her arms around it, hugging it to her chest, silently pleading with him not to do this. It was not worth it. The emotional pain it would cause him, she could not imagine what it was costing him to do this. "I am not worth it," she whispered.
It was a lovely gift, to be certain, but she could not believe that this was…that she was worthy of receiving this gift. He glared at her and said nothing, walking by her and out the door. She did not drop the box, but hurried after him and down the stairs, going down into the basement again. He picked up another piece of sandpaper, affixing it to the block and returned to the boat frame. I guess we are not going to speak any more on this. She hesitated and glanced down at the box in her arms. If…if I have this now…she swallowed again, her voice cracking. "I still do not have a dress."
"You will now."
I do not know what that means, she thought, nodding again, her eyes closing tight. She hesitated again and decided…what the hell. Her head lifted again, meeting his gaze. "I do not know what to say," she breathed.
"Thank you should suffice."
She laughed, blinking away tears. It did not work as they ignored her silent demands to stop and merely began to trickle their way down her cheeks. She sniffed them back as best she could and nodded quickly again. "Thank you." She hugged the box tighter against her again. It was probably the most precious thing she'd ever been given, except perhaps her daughter. This meant so much to him. She was humbled and honored by it. She ran her hand over the box and smiled wide. I suppose now the dress will have to follow, she thought, walking carefully up the stairs, worried she may drop the box.
They said nothing of it for the rest of the day. She carefully placed it in the back of the car when she packed up Tali, giving him one large hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck with the dress," he said, smirking.
She rolled her eyes, hoping he was right with that. Tali slept the entire way to the apartment they kept in D.C. for their visits, until she carried her into the living room, where Tony flung himself at his daughter as though he'd never seen her before in his life. While father and daughter reacquainted themselves with each other again, something they always did when they saw each other after hours apart, both talking over the other about what they'd done that day and who they'd seen, she carried her box into the bedroom, placing it with great care in the closet. She would be sure to hand carry it with them on the flight to Israel.
That evening, with Tali off with her Auntie Delilah and Uncle McGee for a slumber party, she planned to honor whatever promise she had made to him to do Page 23, but by the time they got Tali out of the door, cleaned up the house, and she had packed what could be packed before they left for Israel the day after tomorrow, she was beat and Tony was asleep. She sighed, shaking her head at him as she crawled onto the bed, leaning against him, propping her elbow up in the small of his back. She poked his side. "Hey. Wake up."
"Hmmm….just do what you need to do," he moaned into the pillow, swatting his hand at the air, where she imagined he thought she was located. He sighed again. "I don't mind."
She arched her eyebrows and puffed out her cheeks in an exasperated sigh. "Well, as appealing as it is to have sex with you while you are unconscious, I will pass." She poked his ribs again, until he turned over, pulling her with him. She stretched out on his stomach, tangling her feet in his, smiling as she folded her arms over his chest and set her chin on her hands. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her nose. She dragged her finger along his collarbone, finally lifting her eyes up to meet his gaze. "Gibbs gave me Shannon's wedding veil today."
The lazy, half-asleep look in his eyes disappeared the moment she spoke, his mouth dropping. He jumped up so fast that her reflexes were not ready and she flipped off of him to the side. "Holy shit! You're kidding?" She shook her head negative, sitting back up. He let out a strangled sound. "Oh my gosh! It's finally complete!"
"What is complete?"
"Gibbs has adopted you as one of his own." He spoke in hushed tones, almost with great reverence. He even gave her a funny look. Like he was seeing her differently. He waved his hands around her, a halo over her head. "It's like he's really claimed you as his heir. There should be like…a light beaming down on you."
Of course he was joking at a time like this. It was very important. She smacked at his chest. "Tony, I am being serious."
"And so am I, look." He sat up, leaning back against the headboard, his hands wrapping hers up. He lifted them to his lips, kissing her knuckles and smiling over the top of them, his eyes twinkling. His voice dropped again, quiet and loving, as it had been on the phone when she'd confided how upset she was she could not find a wedding dress. "I know you are probably thinking why would he do that, right?" She scowled, but said nothing, as he continued anyway. He knew the answer. "Gibbs loves you like a daughter. He's walking you down the aisle; he gave you his…love of his life's wedding veil. I mean come on Ziva. That's what matters, not the dress."
You are very right. She leaned in and rested her forehead against his, smiling against his lips. "I believe they were soulmates," she whispered, thinking back to the long ago conversation she'd had with a woman about them. You just know. They stay with you forever. She closed her eyes, feeling him pull her even closer to him, her arms looping around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her and tugged her against his chest. She curled into him, her head going to his chest. They stayed like that for a few minutes, as she tapped her fingertip against his chest. "I love you," she whispered, releasing a long sigh.
"That's good to know."
She smiled up at him, sitting up slightly so she could look eye-to-eye. Her fingers twisted into his hair, pulling him to her for a kiss. "Do you believe in soulmates?" she murmured. Gibbs had one. She was taken away from him and he'd never moved beyond it. No one could live up to the one who meant the world to him. She wondered if that could be said for other people, if it was something that she could even say about them.
He cocked his head, staring at her. After a few minutes, he smiled and nodded slightly. "Ask me next month."
That was not the answer she was expecting. "Oh?"
"I promise. I'll have an answer for you then."
Well I do not know what to make of that. She narrowed her eyes, but said nothing on the topic. He had his own thoughts on things. It would make sense that 'soulmates' was too much for him to believe in. At the end of the day, despite his intense love of fantasy and make believe, he was a highly rational person. "Okay."
He kissed her quickly. "I promise."
"Whatever," she mumbled, pulling him to her again. It really didn't matter to her. It was just a comment. Just a thought. Besides, as they often did after their highly intense emotional conversations, they had to diffuse. He did it through joking and laughter, and then there was her way. Running, kickboxing…activity. She brushed her lips over his again. It seemed she had a burst of energy. He narrowed his eyes again, saying nothing. She smirked. "I made a promise. I don't break those." Maybe Page 23 could happen after all.
The dress did not matter in the end, she realized, standing in front of a floor-length mirror in her bedroom at the farmhouse in Israel. When two more trips with Abby failed to find "The One" as Abby called it, she said she would find it herself. Abby had been unhappy about it, but made her promise she wouldn't wear a sundress. She agreed, leaving D.C. with her arms clutched around her precious heirloom from Gibbs, locking it away in the closet so Tony didn't go poking around.
A week before the wedding she found the dress, in a little boutique on a street in Tel Aviv. It was nice, it was not a sundress, but it was something she knew Abby would not be disappointed by. It was a pretty white satin gown and bodice that fell to her feet with a puddle train, silk-tulle ¾-sleeves and shoulders, giving it the somewhat demure quality she'd wanted. The thing she wanted to stand out was the veil, which hung on a hanger beside her. She hadn't put it on yet. She was still waiting. Once it was on, that was it, she thought, meeting her gaze in the mirror. "I'm getting married," she murmured to herself. Her thumb played over the empty space on her left hand. The diamond ring had been taken a few days ago to get set with the matching wedding band.
"Ima?"
She turned quickly at the soft little voice from the doorway. Abby had gone to make sure everyone was ready and she would send someone to let her know. Of course it would be Tali. Her hand reached out. "Come," she said, smiling down at her daughter. She knelt, brushing her fingers over Tali's dark curls, which had been pinned back from her face with barrettes that had purple butterflies on them, to match the lilac of her dress. She drew Tali to her side, both of them looking at their reflections. "You are very beautiful Tali," she said. Her hand ran over her hair again. It still was a dream to her sometimes that this was her daughter. No one would take her away or she wouldn't wake up from a dream. It was real. "The prettiest girl in the world."
"You too," Tali said, smiling shyly. Her hands clutched the basket of flower petals. She was not always shy, but there were times where she seemed to be almost painfully bashful, like now. "When do we go?"
We go soon enough, she thought, getting back to her feet, her hand in Tali's. "Did Aunt Abby send you in?"
"No, I did."
They both turned, Tali's eyes lighting up, her hands lifting up the basket. "Here! Gibbs! Flowers."
"I see the flowers Tali. Why don't you go outside? Sprinkle them around a bit. Give some to your Abba." Gibbs plucked the boutonniere Abby had no doubt pinned to his lapel, removing the pin and tucking the red lily into Tali's hair. He lightly patted her back, gesturing for her to leave. When Tali glanced at her for permission, she nodded, watching her daughter scamper out of the room, a broad smile on her small face, no doubt eager to get the ceremony started. It was all she had spoken about for the weeks leading up to the ceremony. How she would sprinkle the flower petals and even throw them all over Abba and Ima when they were finally married, like the princes and princesses in her Disney movies.
Ziva waited for Tali to be out of earshot before she turned to Gibbs, her arms folding in front of her. She darted her gaze from him to the veil and back again. "I was waiting for you…you are supposed to walk me down the aisle, after all."
"I didn't forget." He smiled at her, but it didn't meet his eyes. She wondered what did these days. There had been so much that had happened to him the past few years. It hurt her to know he did not trust himself or others the way he used to. Tali had helped there, she thought, seeing him thaw when he was around her daughter. She hoped his gesture with the veil was another movement in the right direction. She'd been in his place before. It would take time.
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Have you seen Tony?" she asked. Abby had threatened to disown both of them from the family if she found out they'd spoken to each other before the ceremony. Which she had to tell Abby was actually not a requirement for Jewish ceremonies, since they needed to sign the ketubah before the actual vow exchange and reading of it to the guests. In traditional Abby fashion, she'd rejected that notion and had rearranged everything with Schmiel's blessing, so they would just sign it in front of everyone after she got walked down the aisle.
"I have," Gibbs said. He smiled. "He's fine."
"He's not having second thoughts?"
"I think he's more worried you are going to have second thoughts."
She chuckled, tossing her bangs from her eyes. "No words of caution at getting married?" she teased.
"Nope." He leaned over and picked the hanger up, the veil floating as he brought it over to her. He lifted it off and as he moved, she felt her heart beat faster and faster in her chest. This was really it.
The lump in her throat strangled her. She nervously spoke, her words trembling. "I am thankful you are doing this…I…I do not even know if I would have asked my father to do it. I…I do not know if he would even have come."
"He would."
"I suppose it does not matter. It does not bear thinking." She watched as the veil rested on her head, the thin headband's combs attaching securely to her temples. The soft tulle fell around her shoulders and to the middle of her back. She cleared her throat. "I do miss him." Eli was her father, at the end of the day.
"I know you do."
"It is hard to imagine…" She kept talking because she was so nervous. This was his wife's veil. She had never felt more like his daughter than she did right now. This was her wedding day and she had only a couple of aunts as her biological family. There was no one left, but she still had family. Her little brothers McGee and Palmer. Her little sister Abby. Her grandfather Ducky. Her dad in Senior. And her father. Gibbs. "Hard to imagine that this day is here," she said. She swallowed hard again. "I mean…it's Tony."
He chuckled, lifting the veil and draping it down over her face. "Yeah, it is. So let's go."
She laughed, reaching for her bouquet and then looped her arm through his, walking out of the bedroom and into the living room, where the French doors were open and leading out onto the porch, where Abby had wrapped flowers and twinkle lights around all the posts. There weren't any chairs, just the small crowd of their joined family, maybe a handful of friends, standing in between the olive trees, and Schmiel was beneath the chuppah, with Tony shifting nervously back and forth beside him. Did you think I wouldn't go through with this, she wondered with a slight grin in his direction, seeing him relax visibly. Tali was vibrating beside Abby. There were petals all over the ground, so she'd done most of her job.
The music was playing from somewhere, she thought probably the speakers on the porch, but she hardly noticed it, stopping at the chuppah and glancing sideways at her father. She smiled and squeezed his hand tight, offering her cheek, which he kissed through the veil. She waited for him to go stand by Ducky, and then stood over beside Tony, Schmiel beginning to speak and reaching for the small table beside him, beginning the ceremony.
She wondered what he was planning on saying. The ceremony wasn't adhering to strict Jewish tradition, since Tony wasn't Jewish, and Abby had demanded they say vows to each other, mostly because she wanted to hear what they had to say. It was going to be a test for them both, since they weren't big on talking about feelings and well, here they were talking about feelings in front of everyone. She laughed, with everyone else, when Schmiel joked how this was a long day coming, since he didn't think there would be anyone good enough, or brave enough, to try to marry his "Zivalah."
Grinning through the thin veil at Tony, who was beaming at her, dressed in a simple suit, she could hardly contain herself after they'd signed the ketubah and Schmiel read from it to everyone. They went through the ceremony, mixing both Jewish and Christian traditions, including reciting vows. She said "I do" in Hebrew though, while Tony made the traditional Jewish vow as he put the ring on her left hand. She did the same with him, wondering if he would actually wear it. She looked down at Tali, who had offered them both the rings in her dual role as flower girl and ringbearer. She looked sideways at Gibbs, who was just smiling softly at them both, while Senior and Jimmy were both dabbing at their eyes with Kleenex.
She turned back to Tony as Schmiel began to speak of how joy should always be tempered, and reached for the handkerchief wrapped glass. Tony was practically vibrating, he'd been asking about this part the entire time they were preparing. Even Tali seemed excited, her eyes wide as Schmiel set it on the ground and then gestured for Tony to step on it. She gripped his hand, laughing with everyone else as Tony stomped on the glass, the crunching sound giving way to everyone screaming "Mazel tov!"
Laughing, she turned back to Tony, Schmiel grinning and holding his hands up, saying that it was now time to kiss the bride. "Careful," she said, as he gripped the edge of the veil. He lifted it up gently over the headband to fall back over the elegant twist Abby had tugged her hair into at the base of her neck. She laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows and tongue lecherously before leaning in and wrapping his arms around her, practically lifting her up in the kiss.
Tali squealed, jumping around them. "You're married!"
"Finally!" Abby and McGee said at the same time, applauding with everyone else.
When she finally tore herself away from the kiss, she nuzzled her nose to his, about to ask him a question, but unfortunately Tali wedged herself between them, crying for her Abba to pick her up. He answered their daughter, spinning her in a circle a few times as Abby thrust the bouquet of flowers back into her hand, saying they needed to take pictures.
First I need to talk to my…she laughed at the thought, touching her fingers to her forehead. Husband, I guess now. She tugged on his hand, thankfully Schmiel stepped in to say that the bride and groom got a few mintues of privacy before greeting everyone. She hugged and kissed Aunt Nettie as she walked by, along with Senior who wouldn't let them go. Somewhere a camera was going off. Looked like Palmer had taken over that job, she hoped the photos didn't come out looking like the crime scene ones Tony was apt to take. She pulled him behind her, disappearing into the house, Gibbs intercepting Tali.
They both stumbled out the front door and away from the house, disappearing into another section of the orchard, this section made of almond trees instead of olives. "We're married," she said, almost in awe. She looked down at her left hand, wiggling the rings. The platinum band, encircled in diamonds, was the new addition to the old engagement ring that used to belong to his mother. It felt so weird.
"Kind of insane, huh?" he said with a smile. He smirked. "Do you remember your first words to me?"
How could she forget? "Were you having phone sex," she teased. She threaded her fingers into his. It was hard to believe that they were the same people as those…inexperienced and damaged children they were almost fifteen years ago. The Ziva of old would have viewed him as a toy, something to be played with and discarded when she grew bored. And he would have only viewed her as the ultimate conquest. She shrugged, her voice dropping. "There were so many things going into our meeting."
"Kind of like it was meant to be," he said, squeezing her hand. He frowned a little. "You asked me something."
"When?"
"Well a few weeks ago, but you asked me years ago." He focused his attention on her, still smiling. "Do you believe in soulmates?"
She nodded, glancing away. It was not practical. She did not believe in ghosts. She did believe you got what you deserved though, like kismet. Maybe soulmates were also real. Her lips pursed. There weren't many other ways they could have met. Their paths would have had to cross through their work. How was she supposed to know Ari was a double agent? Her brother? How was she supposed to know he would target an NCIS agent, kill her, and then she would be sent there to deal with it? There were too many things that would never have happened if one thing were different. If Eli hadn't killed Ari' mother, if Ari were never turned…if he had focused his wrath on someone other than Gibbs, had killed someone other than Kate Todd… "Maybe I do," she said, lifting her head up. She reached to flick back the veil, blowing around her. She fingered it gently, the lace smooth against her skin.
There were plenty of other examples. One person destined for one other person and no one else. He reached up to touch the headband, his finger dragging down it. "Gibbs tried," he said, quiet. "Tried to move on and it never happened." He shrugged slightly. "Before I knew what…what had happened to you…I kind of made a promise."
"A promise?"
He ducked his head slightly and then lifted it quickly, looking around at the tops of the almond trees. She followed his gaze, wondering what he was looking at. He dropped back down to smiled at her. "I promised I wouldn't do to Tali what my dad did to me. Marrying woman after woman, hoping it would change. I wouldn't do what Gibbs did to myself. I couldn't. I sort of tried that anyway. The woman I dated after you left? She was just a substitute for you. She knew too, took awhile and then she figured it out and confronted me on it and…and I knew then. Tali came around and I promised I wouldn't do that. I'd just…live." He squeezed her hands tight. "So yeah. Maybe there is such a thing as soulmates and you can't live without them and if you lose them, well…then you're kind of done."
I never thought of it like that. It made sense though. She reached her arms up, wrapping them around his neck, her hand going to rest flush against his cheek. She dropped her forehead against his, the veil whipping around them both. It seemed to insulate them from everything. Drive the point home even further, she thought, remembering its original owner. "I am glad we do not have to find out what would happen," she murmured against his lips.
He nodded and kissed her again. This time it was different. The one under the chuppah had been theatrical, for their friends and family, kept tame because there were little kids in attendance. This was the kind that she felt like lightning to her heart. When she finally pulled away, she could hardly breathe. He kissed her another time, quick. His knuckles brushed over her cheek. "So…yes. The answer to your question is yes, I do believe in them." He kissed the inside of her hand, beneath her left ring finger. He squeezed it tight, still grinning. "And you're mine."
I suppose I am, she thought, wrapping her arms around him again and holding on. Her eyes fluttered shut as she just stood with him in the grove, a memory of another time flashing in her mind. That time she wasn't sure she would see him again, having made her decision about not returning to the States with him. They'd already silently made the decision to move their relationship to the next level, when she invited him to Tel Aviv with her. It was just natural progression. After a moment, she pulled away, smiling quickly at him. "Come on. I can think of at least one person who is probably beside herself that we're not there right now."
"Tali?"
"No, Abby," she laughed, tugging his hand back with him towards the rest of their friends and family.
Between Abby celebrating like it was her marriage, Tali lapping up so much attention she fell asleep while being preened over by some of her former Mossad counterparts, and Senior and Ducky both practically breaking hips during the Horah, she thought it was a fairly action-packed evening. Everyone began to trickle away sometime around one in the morning. Tali had been asleep in the arms of various people for most of the evening, but would definitely need to be put down into a bed. She let Senior do it, trying to assist with cleaning up, but Abby, Bishop, Orli, and Breena wouldn't hear of it.
So instead of helping clean up her own house or put her daughter down to sleep, she went into the living room, where sleeping bags and air mattresses were already strewn out, Tony and McGee both fast asleep, practically spooning. Gibbs was staring down at it, his head cocked. She pointed. "You could take a picture."
"I could."
"Or I could," she drawled, reaching for a phone sitting on the table behind the couch, zooming in and snapping the picture of the two lovebirds. She grinned. "It's my wedding night and my husband is in bed with his best friend."
Gibbs chuckled, walking over to her. "Let him sleep."
"Yes," she said. They wouldn't be going away for a honeymoon, although Abby said she had something booked for them, but she wasn't sure what that could be. The wedding was for everyone. There didn't need to be a honeymoon. Besides, she didn't like to leave Tali. She went upstairs, knowing he was following. Earlier that evening, she changed out of her wedding gown, hanging it up and placing it back in the linen garment bag it came in. She would launder it and then seal it up carefully, perhaps one day Tali might want it.
There was a balcony off the landing, which he went out onto, leaning against the railing. She paused a moment and then ran up the next flight of stairs, hurrying into her bedroom and took the box, taking it back with her. Gibbs turned around and smiled slightly at the sight of the box. "What's that?" he asked.
She blinked. "The veil." She pushed the box towards him. "I am returning it. Thank you, so…so…much." She ran her hand over the lid, smiling down at it. The photos Abby had taken would be beautiful. All she wanted was a few pictures to show Tali one day, so she could appreciate being there to witness it all, but Abby had directed them like it was a real…production, which she supposed it was. The one she thought she might like was one where Abby had her put the veil over Tony's head, both of them laughing. She tapped her fingertips on the lid, clearing her throat. "I…I thought I knew what…what soulmates and…and love was about." She lifted her eyes to meet his cool blue ones. Her voice cracked. "I did not. I…I realized there was…when Tali was born, I…" Her other hand went to push on her chest. "I felt like a piece of me was ripped from my chest the love was so strong. I did not realize what it was to live without the person you…you are meant to be with until…well I realized it when Tony came back into my life that…he had been missing." She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "And I know what this must have felt for you to give this to me, so…you can have it back and thank you so much for it. It is beautiful."
So here, she thought, pushing the box at him. Gibbs took it and glanced down at it, silent and quizzical. She squinted. What was going on? He smiled briefly and pushed the box towards her again. "Take it," he said. He nodded, insistent. "It was a gift, Ziva. For my daughter. It's meant to go to her daughter. So take it."
Daughter? She blinked the tears flooding into her eyes. "I am your daughter?" she breathed.
"I walked you down the aisle, didn't I?"
Well yes, but…to actually hear it…she had told him several times that he was essentially her father. She smiled, laughing slightly. "Yes. You did." If Eli were alive…well she did not know if he would have walked her down the aisle. It did not bear further thinking about. She set the box down on the table beside them and reached to wrap her arms around him. Her eyes closed tighter. "Ani ohevet otach," she whispered.
Gibbs gripped her tighter and she felt him nodding. He let go and patted her shoulders. "I promised Tali I'd read her a story," he said. He turned her around. "Go find your husband."
Husband. I suppose that that was true. She clutched the box, smiling to herself and went back upstairs and into her room. She held the box tight against her, standing in front of the closet. She nibbled her lower lip for a moment and then opened the box again, reaching in and pulling out the edge of the veil, staring down at the tiny embroidered letters she had located when she'd been taking it off. S.G. Shannon Gibbs. "Soulmates," she murmured. They did exist. She covered the veil back up and set it on the top shelf of the closet. Maybe Tali might like it one day too.
"What're you doing?"
She did not even glance over her shoulder because she knew he was there. Knew he'd been standing there this whole time, watching her with the veil and put it away. The funny thing was that he knew he could never sneak up on her the way she would always do to him. "Putting things away."
"Hmm." Tony turned, closing the door behind him. He very pointedly flicked the lock, which had her smile. He chuckled. "I will always remember that after that time Tali walked in on us."
"Yes and you terrified her by saying you were giving Ima mouth-to-mouth to save my life." She scowled at him. That had been a disaster. "She would not let me out of her sight for two weeks."
"Well she worries over us."
Sometimes she thought Tali was right to worry over them. She smiled and turned away from him, sinking down onto the edge of the bed. She ran her hands over her face, feeling the cool rings on her left hand press into her skin. A smile flickered over her lips when he crawled onto the bed behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, squeezing lightly. She turned her head slightly, her nose brushing his. "Ani ohevet otach," she said.
He smiled, brushing his lips over hers, pulling her against him. "Yeah, I know."
A few years later, Tali rooted through her Ima and Abba's closet, looking for Christmas and Hanukkah presents. They used to be police officers, so she knew they were good at covering their tracks. Except Grandpa Gibbs taught them all their tricks and he taught her all his tricks, so she could find….yes! She jumped for glee at the feeling of a loose floorboard under her foot and crouched down, tapping lightly with her fingertips, hearing the echo. "Boom," she mumbled, pushing on the edges of the floor, lifting up the floorboard.
A box! She giggled, reaching in and taking out the box, rocking on her heels. She pushed the lid off and scowled. There was nothing but a piece of paper. She picked up the paper, dropping the box. She opened it up and stared at the Hebrew scrawled across the center of the paper. Nice try love, but would we be so obvious? There was more, in English, this time she recognized Abba's writing. The floorboards Tali? Haven't we taught you better?
She could not believe she was so dumb. Of course they would never use the floorboards! She shoved everything away, covering up the tracks, and turned to leave, except as she went to leave, she tripped on the part of the board she hadn't pushed down all the way. With a yelp, she fell backwards into the corner of the closet, dragging hold of something in a bag. It fell off the hanger and flew over her. "Ahh!" she screamed. "A ghost!" It was all white. She felt blinded, kicking and punching.
Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard Ima demanding to know what was going on. She pushed the white thing out of her face, grinning up at her mother, who was just studying her with a bemused expression on her face. She giggled, shrugging and trying to play it off, but Ima was too smart. "Did you find your presents?" she teased.
"Uh…I wasn't looking."
"Then what are you doing in the closet?"
"Dressing up?"
"Hmm….with my wedding dress?" That's what that was? Tali crawled out from under the other clothes, getting to her feet and dusting herself off, looking at the white thing that attacked her. It was Ima's wedding dress. It looked just like the ones from the pictures. She kind of remembered it. She was four when they got married and now she was seven. Ima hung the dress back up and grinned down at her. "You will find no presents in here. Wait until your birthday."
"Okay," she sighed, resigned. She trudged out of the closet and turned around, but Ima hadn't left yet. She was still looking at the dress. She frowned a little and went back into the closet, looking at it. It was very pretty. "Can I have this when I get married, IMa?"
"If you wish." Ima zipped the bag back around the dress, grinning down at her. "But that will be very, very long in the future."
"How will I know?"
Ima ran her hand over her hair and then chuckled. "You will know." She glanced down at her again, smirking. "Do you know what a soulmate is?"
"Like a prince?"
After a moment, Ima shook her head slightly and nodded, whispering. "Yes. Like a prince. The only prince in the world meant for you." She stroked her hair. "A soulmate is someone you are meant to love and live with forever."
"Is Abba your soulmate?" Ima laughed. Tali instantly lifted her head, eyes wide. "He isn't!?" she asked, shrill.
Ima wrapped her arms around, rocking back and forth and laughing, kissing her hair. "No, no, Abba is my soulmate. Of course he is. It is just funny because I never thought he would be. I knew him for a long time before we had you and before we got married. If you asked me when I first met him where we would be today, I would have laughed." She grinned again. "So sometimes you find your soulmate when you least expect to find them."
Maybe Levi Rosen was her soulmate. He came over and sat next to her all the time on the swingset and then he always pulled her hair. She punched him twice and he still did it. She looked up at her mother, eyes wide. "I think Levi is my soulmate."
The smile on Ima's face instantly melted away. "Who?"
"Levi, on the playground." Her eyes instantly filled with realization. She would have to punch him again, just to be sure. If he came back again, then it must be true. He was her soulmate. He had really pretty green eyes. She knew because she had looked into them to see if he was actually serious about calling her names and then pulling her hair and then she'd punched him. She jumped off the bed, running out of the room. "Toda, Ima!"
Thank you!? Ziva sat in shock on the edge of the bed, staring after her daughter. Levi!? Who the hell was that!? And why did her daughter think she was in love with him? Soulmates? At the age of seven? Not possible, she thought, shaking her head. She laughed deep in the back of her throat. Oh no, no, no, not at all…she jumped off the bed, hurrying out of the room and then crashed into her soulmate, who was coming up the stairs with a basket of laundry. "There is so much wrong with this picture!" she demanded.
"With what picture?"
"Well for one, you are doing laundry." She gestured to the basket. "What is this?"
"Uh, nothing." He immediately looked suspicious. That meant he'd done the laundry to hide something. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see their two-year old son running around his room in nothing but a diaper. It probably had something to do with that. They were probably messing around with the stupid weird 'goo guns' that he'd bought at the store, a weird green substance they thought was fun to shoot at each other through plastic weaponry, after she specifically told him no. Tony dropped the basket, kicking it into the bathroom. "So what's up?"
She scowled, going into Elijah's bedroom and lifting him up, chiding him for streaking as it was not gentlemanly. While she tugged a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt on over the ever-moving toddler, she spoke. "I told Tali about soulmates. She seems to believe someone called Levi is her soulmate."
"Who the hell is Levi?"
"My question exactly."
Tony shook his head, hitting his hand on the doorframe. "I don't like this. I knew that kid was trouble. I saw them on the swingset at the playground. He had a shifty look about him!"
Okay maybe it was one thing to comment on it, but at the end of the day, their daughter was seven years old. "Tony, perhaps it is not that big of a deal." She lifted Elijah up, propping him on her hip, amused as Tony ran off saying he was going to head this off at the pass. She chuckled, tickling her son's pudgy stomach, the mini-Tony squealing and trying to push her hand away. "Abba is crazy," she giggled. She wouldn't have it any other way.
The phone rang, drawing her attention. "Who is that?" she sang, bouncing Elijah on her hips. "Who is that? Well we shall see…." She picked up her cell phone from the edge of the changing table and propped it against her chin. "Shalom," she chirped.
"Hey Ziver."
Her smile widened. "To what do I owe this phone call?" She lifted her son higher on her hip. He was getting so big he was starting to slip a lot. "I have someone here who actually might want to say hello to you." Before he could say anything, she pushed the phone against Elijah's ear. "Say hello to Grandpa," she cooed to him in Hebrew. She hit the speaker, just so that Gibbs could hear the toddler.
"Saba!"
"Hey there AD."
She walked out of the room, carrying Elijah down to the living room, where Tony was loudly arguing with Tali over how you knew when someone was your soulmate and it wasn't because you punched them three times and they kept coming back. "That means he's an idiot," Tony's logic dictated.
Well then you must be an idiot too, because I think I did the equivalent of punching you three times, she thought with amusement. She sank back into the couch, still holding her son, lifting the phone back to her ear to talk to Gibbs. He was merely returning her phone call, so she did most of the speaking, as she did usually. Functional mute, even after all this time. She was checking to see if there was an ongoing case taking up his time, because they were set to fly into D.C. the following week for Jack McGee's first birthday party.
The door, which was open, taking in the cool breeze off the Mediterranean, filled a moment later with Senior, who had just gotten back from the market, laden with goodies for the kids, who instantly clamored for their other grandfather's attention. She let go of the toddler, smiling and disconnected with Gibbs once she verified the case would be over by the birthday party, if he had his way. She set the phone aside and wandered outside onto the back terrace, where Tony had gone, letting the kids play with Senior. He was stretched out on one of the chaise chairs, looking at his phone. "What movie should we watch tonight?"
"None."
"Well that's not an option, sweetcheeks."
Well it will be, she thought, stretching out beside him and resting her head on his chest, her arms around his waist. She smiled. "Happy Anniversary."
"Oh yeah…about that…" he trailed off and reached down beside the chaise, passing her a box.
She opened it, smiling down at the pretty leather holster for her knife. "Oh, it's beautiful!"
"Third anniversary is leather."
I do not know what that means, but you do know me well. She reached down into her boot; removing the knife she had sheathed there, always, and placed it into the new leather holster, slipping it down into her boot again. She zipped it back up, smiling and reaching to rest her head against his shoulder again. "You know me well."
"You still terrify me, you know, having that thing there."
"Rule #9." She remained in the chaise, staring out at the ocean. It still unnerved her sometimes. How at peace they both were. Things seemed to be how they were supposed to be. Soulmates, she thought idly, funny how there was so much proof in her life they existed and sometimes she feared he'd be taken from her. That maybe it would not work out. Something horrible could happen. She could end up like Gibbs one day. She tightened her grip on his instinctively. His hand automatically went to her shoulder, lightly stroking.
"I'm here," he mumbled in Hebrew. He did that when he knew she was anxious. She nodded; closing her eyes, and began to drift off. All was okay, she thought, releasing a long breath and smiling.
THE END