"I've never...eaten...sand!" Tobi rubbed away the large sweat bubble that was beginning to form on the back of his head as his fellow Akatsuki members paused their drinking game to grimace at their most annoying comrade.
"What kind of a ridiculous, fucked up question is that!?" Hidan demanded, alcohol fueling his already cruel nature.
"I...I...uh.." Tobi stuttered before turning sheepishly to the blonde artist who sat next to him. "C'mon, at least you answer and play the game, Deidara-senpai!"
"Hmm! As if!" Deidara huffed. "I could think of a question a million times better than that!"
"Please Deidara-senpai! For meeeee?" Tobi placed one finger on his mask, right about where his mouth would be hidden underneath in an attempt to look cute but Deidara merely gave a 'hmph 'and turned away in annoyance.
"Aww...there he goes again, getting all shy around Tobi!" Kisame sneered,gaining a few laughs from the rest of the ensemble. "Tobi and Deidara sitting in a tree-"
"Shut the hell up!" Deidara slapped his shot glass on the table and glared at the shark, his fuse already sparked with rage and the effects of alcohol. "As if I would get with a guy like HIM! Hmm!" He realized his mistake only after it was too late, causing his eyes to widen in utter fear.
"Oh ho! So you're saying that you would get with a different guy?" Kazuku asked with an evil grin. A few chuckles arose from the group.
"Hey hey! I've got a question! Everybody ready?" Hidan cleared his throat with an evil glint in his eyes directed at a defiant Deidara. "I've never...gotten the urge to kiss a boy!"
Deidara's eyes widened even further as a majority of the group, including Tobi, burst out laughing. "Th-what kind of a question is that!? Hmm!" Deidara demanded, cheeks flushing pink. Hidan and Kisame were laughing so hard that they were on the brink of tears.
"See, see? Look at his face! Yo, Deidara, drink up, you can't cheat!" Zetsu called. Deidara grit his teeth together and tightened his grip on his shot glass with such strength that he caused it to crack. Damn these assholes! If only I had brought my clay, they'd be long past dead!
"Oi, I'll bet you've slept with so many guys that-hey that's probably why you turned against your village, right? It got out that you were a man-whore! Hah!" Deidara shut his eyes in embarrassment as the jeering continued, debating on whether or not he was sober enough to take at least one of them in a taijutsu fight. He only dared to squint his eyes open after a shocked silence suddenly fell over the group. Upon opening his eyes, Deidara followed his tormentors' gazes and scooted his stool around.
He dropped his jaw in utter disbelief as none other than Itachi Uchiha downed his shot glass and wiped his mouth before letting it hit the bar with a clink that echoed throughout the silence. "You people are hopeless." And with that Itachi blinked slowly and hopped gracefully off of the bar stool, and began to walk back in the direction of the hideout.
" I-Itachi?" Kisame whispered in disbelief. Suddenly Hidan whipped around to face Kisame.
"Oh, like you of all people didn't know, Kisame, drop the act, you've probably slept together like, a gazillion times!" Kisame's eyes darkened and suddenly Samedha was whipped out of nowhere, causing damage to the right side of the bar.
"What?! I didn't know Uchiha played for that team are you kidding me!? Say that again, bastard!" As everyone gathered around the two in a misshapen circle to drunkenly cheer on the fight, Deidara took advantage of the situation and quietly slipped away, heading off in Itachi's direction.
He was still burning with rage, but he knew that if he wanted a good chance of winning a fight against one of his fellow Akatsuki members that he would have to head home and get his chakra clay first. I'll make them pay and let them become part of my art show! Hmm!
He stopped mid-step as he suddenly caught a glance of raven hair poking through the bushes. Why was he even going after Itachi anyway! It's not like he had stood up for him, or...Deidara paused. Well, he actually sort of did stand up for him in his own way... whoever would have thought that the man feared even within the Akatsuki was-. No! Deidara shook his head. Maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was just trying to make a statement and stand up for him.
Deidara grit his teeth nervously. Why would he do that in the first place? He had to find out.
"Find out what, exactly, Deidara-kun?" Deidara leapt in surprise as a deep voice sounded from right behind his shoulder.
"Wh-what are you- I mean was I- I said that out loud?!" Deidara whipped his body around and positioned himself in a basic fighting stance as dark, expressionless eyes stared blankly back at him.
"You said you wished to find something out about me?" Deidara gulped. He knew if he made the Uchiha mad he was in trouble: he wouldn't stand a chance up against those crimson eyes.
"I...I mean...back there did you mean..." Deidara averted his gaze from Itachi's stone cold one.
"Of course." All time seemed to come to a halt as Itachi's words echoed throughout his mind and reverrrberated against his skull. Deidara's breath caught in his throat and Itachi looked down at him, face utterly unreadable.
Before this moment Deidara had been all alone. He was odd, different. He was the flashy newbie, recently joining the Akatsuki, never really having gotten the chance to expiriment the way young adults did. Part of that was the issue of finding someone like him, but another part was the life of a shinobi itself: always fighting, always on missions. For all Deidara knew he was the only male shinobi from he hidden stone village that liked men. But here now, he was frozen and tongue-tied standing before an ultimate work of art, who played for his team.
All of that is part of the reason that after a few long moments of dumbfounded staring in front of him, Deidara had absolutely no idea how to react when the masterpiece that was Itachi Uchiha tipped his chin up and lightly pressed their lips together. Even though the kiss couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds, when it was over Deidara fixed Itachi with a glassy-eyed stare as his face turned a deep shade of scarlet.
"There, see?" Itachi delicately licked his lips before smirking ever so slightly and turning away to jump through the trees, back on course to the hideout. Deidara stood still for a moment before dropping to his knees on the forest floor. What was that?