"But why can't you come with us?" Luke asked for the umpteenth time.
Asch's patience was wearing thin. Ok, scratch that. 'Thin' had been the second time the question had been asked. Perhaps 'borderline homicidal twitchiness' was a more accurate description of his current state. He didn't need to explain himself to the dreck. Him saying so should be good enough. It usually was. The replica had become remarkably spineless and malleable after his month of reprieve.
Except regarding this one point that the replica never backed down on. He'd lay off it for a bit, sure, but he'd never concede or give up, always working his way back to it.
Joining them. Asch wanted to, he really did. He wanted to be able to let go of the festering anger eating away at his sanity, wanted to spend what time he had remaining among people who wanted to be friends. But he couldn't. And he wasn't about to go explaining the why of that to his stupid replica. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he wasn't exactly sure why he was so sure he couldn't join them himself. He just couldn't, and that was the end of the story. Or at least it should have been, in Asch's opinion. Stupid, uncooperative replica.
"I just can't! I've already told you that, so get it through your thick scull, dreck! If you're that bored and in need of entertainment, why don't you go fuck yourself!" Asch snapped.
Luke looked at him kind of strangely, cocking his head as if assessing him before shrugging and digging through his knapsack for something. He was never one to pass up a chance to fulfill his original's wishes, especially when they coincided with his own.
After finding what he was looking for, Asch still staring at him suspiciously, Luke smirked and decided he was going to have some fun with this. There was no reason he couldn't play a bit before getting down to business.
Asch did not see him coming. Despite glaring at him the entire time, he somehow missed all the indicators of his replica's idiotic plan until immediately after it had been carried out. Perhaps because he could not even conceive of his replica wanting to do such a thing, he ignored all the blatant indications. Before he could register what was happening, he was on the ground, pinned by a rather enthusiastic Luke. A Luke who used the moment of shock to unbuckle Asch's sword and kick it out of reach before Asch could gather his wits and try his hand at homemade replica pincushions.
Asch's snarl of protest was never heard, because Luke chose right then to dive in for a kiss. Perhaps he was being a bit too eager, judging from the thump of Asch's head against the floor when he did so.
He pulled back a bit, trying to assess any damage without giving Asch an opportunity to escape. Which gave him a perfect view of Asch's face trying to simultaneously contort into several different levels of incoherent rage with mixed bewilderment. Ignoring the flinch of fear and regret from seeing that, as best he could, Luke concentrated on enjoying having left his original speechless for once.
Luke started nipping and nuzzling his way down Asch's neck while waiting for him to string together a coherent sentence, considerably more gently than his last kiss, occasionally stopping to lick up the path of his arteries or suck on a sensitive spot. Maybe Asch would understand that it was an apology for his earlier roughness. He hadn't bucked Luke off yet, and wasn't actively trying to kill him, which must be a good sign, right?
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Asch finally managed to ask, with considerably less menace than he had hoped for. It came out more like an honest question than the snarl of rage he had intended.
"But you said- And you're the closest thing to-" Luke was confused. Was this not what Asch had wanted? He had been so sure that it was. But then again, it would make this no different than all the other times he had been sure he was in the right, only to screw things up horrifically. He paused and pulled back to look at Asch again with a slight frown.
Asch just sighed and shook his head, not arching into or away from Luke's touch.
"Lorelei below, you're stupid." Asch said. Not that it was new or unexpected. But this sheer level of idiocy deserved to be commented on.
"Oh, good point. But I don't think Lorelei's into this kind of thing…" Luke trailed off, gaze turning distant, as if considering the proposition in detail.
Asch started pounding his head backwards against the ground. There was really no other possible response to this utter moron on top of him. Of course this action snapped said utter moron out of his reverie.
"Hey, stoppit! You'll hurt yourself!" Luke said. Asch being hurt by anyone was not acceptable, so he risked shifting and lifting one of his hands to place between Asch's head and the floor.
He immediately regretted doing so when Asch used the distraction and new leverage to flip them over so that he was the one pinning Luke.
Asch should have gotten up. He should have walked away with a scathing remark or blow or at least threat and not had another thought about this situation. He really, really should have. So Asch wasn't exactly sure why he wasn't moving away in the slightest.
He watched Luke, who appeared to be caught somewhere between hope and fear. His light struggles seemed more expressions of his tense inner struggle than actual attempts to escape. When he found that he wasn't being brutally murdered or beaten to a pulp, he stilled and met Asch's gaze.
Whatever Luke saw in his eyes seemed to give Luke's hope the power to win over his fear. He relaxed from his stiffened position and attempted to nuzzle up into Asch's neck.
"You know, if you wanted to be on top, you could have just said so." Luke muttered.
But Asch didn't! He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be on top or on bottom, he didn't want whatever the replica was offering!
Then why was he still here? Why hadn't he walked away as soon as he had gotten the upper hand? Why was he leaning closer to allow Luke access to his neck?
The sheer vulnerability of the position his action left him in stunned him, as well as just how absolutely fine he was with making such a gesture, and that was just from a tactical viewpoint. There was an intimacy inherent in it as well, something that refuted all his previous protests.
He wanted this. As much as Luke did, or maybe more. He wanted not just the touch, but the meaning behind it.
He wanted someone who was his, saw him, needed him. Someone he could belong to, he could see, he needed. He wanted the moron that he just couldn't keep himself away from, couldn't help but want to change for the better. He wanted Luke. For how long, he wondered? When had his feelings changed? Had they?
Asch lowered himself until he was laying partially on Luke, releasing Luke's hands and legs. Luke was free to go, and the action had some kind of significance, even if Luke had never intended to escape to begin with. Asch was acknowledging that Luke had a choice in this. It was a start for him anyway. He rested his head against Luke's shirt.
"Idiot savant." Asch murmured into Luke's chest. He had to be, to divine the meaning behind Asch's words when he himself hadn't even known there was a meaning to divine.
For once, Luke declined to answer with words, and just stroked up and down Asch's back in what he hoped was a calming and tender way. He had never expected to get any kind of honest acceptance from Asch, even if he had hoped. Now that he had it, he was at a loss for what to do.
They lay there, just touching and holding for a while. Not going anywhere with it, just reassurance and closeness. Neither said anything because there was nothing to be said that wasn't already expressed by their motions, talking to each other in silence louder than words.
Luke's mind was the first to come out of the pleasant haze induced by the feeling of attaining everything he had ever known he had wanted, leaving Asch in the dust still trying to get past having attained everything he had never known he had wanted.
"So, no fucking right now?" Luke asked teasingly.
Asch glared at him for spoiling the moment, and gave him a light punch on the shoulder before rolling over to face away from him. Which put him face-to-face with the dropped and forgotten item Luke had gotten out earlier.
"I'll just be putting this away then." Luke said as he reached over Asch to tuck the pouch of lubricant back into his pack. Asch had not realized how absolutely literally seriously Luke had taken him earlier, but that realization was overridden by the thought of how quickly and easily Luke had put his hands on said lube after becoming 'aware' of the situation. He would need a serious talking to later. Likely about the proper pacing of a relationship. And possibly some lessons in sarcasm and how it related to the fine art of insults.
"Have you been just waiting to jump someone?" Asch asked incredulously, turning back to face Luke.
"No… I haven't been waiting to jump just anyone…" Luke answered reluctantly, looking away.
Asch blinked at him. It was like Luke couldn't not answer a question posed to him. As endearing as it was, it was just a bit too much honesty for Asch.
But the bed was looking mighty inviting, and much more importantly, warm. The floor wouldn't have been too bad comfort-wise if it hadn't been so chilly.
Asch stood up, tugged Luke's arm, and nodded towards the bed. Luke's expression immediately brightened, as if he had partially expected to be kicked out, even now. Asch rolled his eyes, before starting to tow Luke towards the bed.
Luke couldn't keep a quiet chirp of, "Yay, more cuddle time!" quite out of Asch's hearing range. Not that he was trying terribly hard to do so. Of course he had been afraid that when their moment was over everything would revert to the way it had been, and his joy at finding that it wouldn't left him in an exuberantly uncontainable mood.
"I do not cuddle." Asch claimed defensively.
"Call it whatever helps you sleep at night, it's still cuddling to me." Luke said cheekily. Which earned him being pushed onto the bed in an unceremonious and unexpected heap.
"I don't cuddle." Asch reiterated, while getting into bed and proceeding to snuggle against Luke, proving himself thoroughly wrong and practically daring Luke to say anything about it. Warm blankets were nice, but Asch thought drowsily that everyone needed their own replica bedwarmer.
He didn't realize he had said so aloud until he felt Luke shaking in laughter against him. He would have cared, and probably have been annoyed, if he hadn't already been well on his way to sleep. He did find the effort to be pleased by noticing that some of the remaining tension had left Luke after his comment.
He wrapped his arms around Luke, and the last thing he felt before fully succumbing to sleep was Luke doing the same to him. He fell asleep to the unexpectedly pleasant feeling of both protecting and being protected.