A/N - So, this is one of the first fanfictions that I've ever written so please don't send hate. Feedback, however, is highly appreciated. I will try to update every Sunday and Wednesday. I promise I will do everything I can to stick to this schedule.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee but I'm merely borrowing the two wonderful boys and some other characters.

Warnings: War (flashbacks, memories), panic attacks, anxiety disorder, PTSD, graphic descriptions of violence, sexual content. (Yes, I like to torture Blaine a lot).

Enjoy the story, vote, comment if you like it, thank you!

Already Home

If only New York wasn't so far away

I will be there every step of the way

And when you're scared and alone

Just know that I'm already home

-A Great Big World – Already Home

Prologue

Read between the lines

Of what's fucked up and everything's alright

Check my vital signs

To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

-Green Day – Boulevard of Broken Dreams

What was he doing here?

He asked himself that for the millionth time as he walked through the New York airport. There was nothing here for him. Nothing familiar, nothing that he knew. There was no one here for him. No one that cared or loved him.

Hundreds of people passed him, some stared, others didn't even spare a glance. Someone bumped into him, in a rush, making him hiss in pain as they jarred his shoulder, and ran away with a dismissive 'sorry'. He didn't understand the guy. If it were him that bumped into someone wearing a military uniform, he would feel guilt eating him alive. But he supposed he didn't look like someone that should be respected.

He felt sweat running down his face, felt his messy curls sticking to his forehead as he walked, not knowing where to. His uniform wasn't the best thing to wear in summer. Even though the airport was air conditioned, he still felt hot, suffocated.

The bag on his shoulders weighed him down, even though there was almost nothing in it. Nothing that would help him survive for long if he did end up being homeless on the streets of this huge, busy city. He had money with him. But it was nowhere near enough to rent an apartment or book a motel room.

Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all…

But this was the first place that he could think of after Ohio, and there was no way in hell that he would be returning to that state anytime soon. After all, there was no more for him there than there was here.

He didn't know whether the airport was so huge or he was just walking in circles but he couldn't seem to locate an exit. Or maybe perhaps he just wasn't looking for one until now. All he knew is that he wanted to get out of that building.

He knew that he couldn't just keep walking without knowing where he was going. He needed to think of something. Something that would help him find his place in this city. That is if he had one.

He looked around. Looked for something that would give him a clue as to what to do next. He looked at the people around him. And he realized that most of them were looking at the device in their hands or holding it to their ear. He didn't have a phone but he could ask for one. There was only one little problem. He had no one to call. Neither did he know any phone numbers.

But that was a lie. He knew one. One phone number that he learned in the first few days that he got it. The phone number that was on his speed dial when he was 17. The phone number that was owned by the most important person in his life. His first and only true love.

He knew that the boy that used to kiss him with everything he had probably wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Did the boy even remember him? Only one way to find out.

He walked up to a guy, who was sitting in one of the white airport chairs. As he was standing behind him, he saw that the guy was only playing a stupid game on his phone and not actually doing anything important.

"Excuse me." He said which made the male look up at him with one eyebrow raised. When he saw him, however, his face turned serious and he sat a bit straighter in the chair. "May I please use your phone to call my… umm…friend." How was he supposed to refer to the boy that was his ex-boyfriend whom he hadn't talked to in the past four years?

"Sure, yeah. Go ahead." He didn't know if this guy was afraid of him because of his uniform or if he genuinely wanted to be nice. He didn't question it however and just took the offered phone that already had the page open, prepared for him to type in the number. And type he did, pressing one number after the other with unpractised finger motions. He hadn't held a phone in so long, especially one with a touch screen.

He sat next to the guy that was generous enough to offer him the phone, so he wouldn't think he had any intentions what so ever of stealing and the boy turned away from him, to give him at least some privacy, he presumed. He stared down at the phone for a few seconds, finger hovering over the green phone icon, the number already typed in the box above. He took a deep breath before pressing the icon and brought the phone to his ear.

After three beeps he heard it. He heard the voice that made his heart speed up every time and stopped breathing. "Hello, who is this?"

"Kurt?" He said, voice catching in his throat from the overflow of emotions that the boy on the other line brought to him every time he spoke.

"Blaine?"