. GaaNaru friendship. I was bored. Angst and talk about suicide as well as attempted suicide. You are forewarned. And I only own Naruto in my dreams. I stole the name from Evanescence. (Amy Lee is a great singer, by the way.) The song at the end is Bring Me To Life by Evanescence. It's an awesome song!
"Why?" The boy choked, through a mouthful of blood. "Why did you fight for them? Why did they let you near them?" He asked, blood dripping from his mouth and down his chin. The other boy stared back at him, blue eyes kind.
"Because they accepted me." He said simply. "They thought of me as a teammate. We're like family now." The taller boy's eyes widened.
"Family?" He asked curiously. "Why would you want to be a family? Family only brings more pain." Naruto frowned.
"They treated you bad, didn't they?" He muttered. "That's not true family. True family accepts you for all your differences." Gaara blinked.
"People accept you? Like not hating you?" His voice was curious and uncertain.
Naruto sighed.
"Yeah. That's right." Gaara shook his head softly.
"There aren't people like that out there. People are cruel, so cruel." Naruto shook his head in response.
"No, no, no. There are people out there who accept you." He frowned at the direction where he could see Gaara's elder sister staring fearfully at them. "You just hadn't found them yet." He looked again at Temari.
Gaara's eyes followed his.
"She didn't." He whispered. "Ever." Naruto turned back toward the red-head.
"She's not the only person." The other shook his head vigorously, drops of blood flying from his mouth.
"I'm a monster. They didn't want me around." His face appeared to seal off again and become impassive. "The time of demons is past. All the bijuu are sealed and we begin to die now. Some will die in battle but more will die alone. We are from the past, monsters that aren't needed. They've thrown us aside." Naruto frowned vehemently.
"They haven't!" He shouted. "Not all of them!" The other shook his head gently.
"They have. Maybe things are different for you, here, but for me, in Suna… I'm not needed. They don't want me and I don't want myself anymore."
"You don't mean…" Naruto breathed. "You can't." Gaara smiled softly.
"I do. That's exactly what I mean."
"You wouldn't." Gaara raised a non-existent eyebrow.
"Do you doubt it?" A pale, bloodied hand rose to touch the scar on his forehead. "I don't know love. I just know hate. I'm a broken tool that no one wants. Why should I keep living if my existence is never wanted?"
Naruto paused.
"I don't know." He answered slowly. "But there's got to be a reason out there to keep going. You can't just give up."
Gaara's face was calm.
"Then keep living, Uzumaki Naruto. I wish that you may achieve your dreams. There's nothing for me to live for. No one." He smiled wanly. "There will never be someone who accepts me as anything other than a weapon or a demon."
"I do!" Naruto shouted, instinctively fighting against the defeat he saw in the boy's eyes. "I accept you as a person!" Gaara's eyes were soft.
"Yes, but you are a host also. And I hurt your friends, why would you accept a freak, something like me?"
"Someone!" He roared. "Not a thing, a person!" Gaara laughed.
"Not to hear them tell it. I know that I'm not human. I know that I'm a freak, unworthy of existence."
"But you are!" He yelled. "They're just ignorant!"
"I know that. But I know that people sleep and people don't hear voices telling them to kill and people aren't cast out by other people."
"You are human though!" Naruto persisted. "What happened to the fighter who refused to die?" He asked, in desperation.
"Just a shell of the Shukaku." Came the quiet response. "I died six years ago. All that's left is my body, and I can end that. Then Suna will be free of the monster at last."
"You aren't a monster!" He screamed again. "You aren't!"
"You've seen how I fought. I have no mercy. I barely know that word. People know mercy. People know forgiveness. I do not."
"Learn! Forgive yourself first!" Naruto walked unsteadily over to Gaara. "You just need to forgive yourself. Learn to accept who you are and that you are human and can make mistakes. Then accept that you can learn from them."
"Another human quality." Said the red-head, staring at the leaves. "Acceptance. But every human is afraid of monsters."
"You. Aren't. A. Monster." Naruto stated firmly. "You have as much of a right to live as anyone else."
"I take lives. I was born by taking a life. I cannot give back. A freak cannot contribute to society. It would be better if I died." Naruto stared at him in shock.
"How did they treat you?" He murmured in horror. "How badly did they treat you for you to think of yourself this way?" Gaara shrugged.
"Badly enough for me to wish my own death every day for my entire life." He watched a crimson leaf fall from a tree overhead. It spiraled down in lazy loops until it landed on the green grass. "That leaf wasn't needed so it died. I am the same way." He drew a single kunai knife from the pouch at his hip. "This will end it. The sand shield relies on chakra and I have none left right now. Shukaku cannot stop me." He put the knife to his own throat and pressed. A thin line of blood oozed from the gash. Naruto stared in horror, transfixed by the red blood running freely down the other host's neck.
"Amazing. I feel, for once in my existence, like I'm not so different. I feel like a person since I can die like a person. Good luck, Naruto and may your death not come soon." The boy crumpled and fell. Naruto started forward.
"No!" He yelled. "You're not ready to die yet." He turned the boy over. The jade eyes were dimmed but still bright.
"On the contrary. I am ready, long overdue in fact." Naruto snarled.
"I'm not going to let you." He hissed. "You aren't going to die, not here, not now." Now, stupid fox. He hissed. I need your chakra, NOW! A sudden surge of power ran through him to race along his fingertips. He gathered the red blaze into the very tips of his fingers and pushed them to the self-inflicted wound on Gaara's neck. The pale orbs kept watching him.
More! Naruto snarled to the fox. Out loud he shouted. "I'm not going to let you give up!"
"I already have." Gaara's voice was raspy and blood flowed from his mouth as he spoke. "I've given up."
"Too bad." The fox-boy growled. "Because I'm making you live." With a final surge, the gaping hole closed over. Gaara sighed.
"Now what?" He murmured. "Where do I go from here?"
"You live." Naruto said, letting the demon chakra fall away. "Try living, Gaara."
"For what?" The boy
asked, pushing himself upright.
"For friendship." Naruto
suggested. Gaara smiled, a true smile without the hint of pain in his
other smiles.
"I'll try." Naruto took his hand and shook it.
"It's a deal." He said, sealing the pact.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb without a soul my spirits sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe it into me and make me real
Bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become
Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Free me tonight
Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead
All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become
(Bring me to life)
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside
(Bring me to life)
You can interpret this as yaoi if you want but it's just supposed to be friendship. I didn't want to put in romance. Review!