AN: Today is Matt Czuchry's 31st birthday…and this song made me think of how Logan might feel post series finale…therefore I'm writing a one shot. I will also have most of my stories updated in the next couple of days. I'm back to being hooked on fan fiction…almost as hooked as I am on Hairspray.
The story is called Dear Rory, but it is pretty much unrelated to my story Dear Logan, which I tried to expand on, but should have left as a one shot.
Disclaimer: Amy owns it all…or does Warner Bros? I don't even know…but I don't own anything but my ideas. Oh yeah and 98° owns the song…though I wouldn't mind owning the Lachey brothers…hmm…
Whatcha need to know: Logan still loves Rory. If you didn't watch the show at all, you might be lost.
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"Dear Rory", wow…that seems so lame, Logan thought to himself. There aren't many ways to start a letter, but he knew that he needed something a little more creative. He was heir to a newspaper empire, but he couldn't even write the greeting to the most important letter of his life. Perhaps, he thought, he should have paid more attention in those classes at Yale.
I wrote a letter
yesterday
Just trying to explain
Couldn't find the words to
say
Cause you are so far away
So far away
Logan stared at the paper in front of him…he was still hurt that Rory turned down his proposal. He thought that maybe he shouldn't have given her that ultimatum; of course she wasn't ready for marriage. Rory was so career oriented that she needed to form her life before she was going to settle down; she was never going to be content with living off the Huntzberger fortune.
"I don't even know where to start. I wish there was something that I could say that would make you come back to me. I don't even know where you are, I have to send this letter to Lorelai with hope that she'll get it to you. Wherever you are it is definitely way too far from San Francisco. I would give anything to see you again and say this straight to you."
It was very
uncharacteristic for Logan to sound this pathetic. Then again, it
was uncharacteristic for Logan to fall in love. For so many years,
he was content with whatever girl he could get. They were all rich
and they were all beautiful. Somehow, he fell in love with a
beautiful girl with a modest upbringing. He found someone that could
challenge anyone he knew. She was able to hold her own with any
subject and she could handle her alcohol better than him. Rory
accepted him when he was belligerent. Rory held his hand when it
came to issues with his father. She could talk him into anything,
though she couldn't talk him out of being stupid. Why did he have
to force that decision on her? He should have realized that he would
lose the most important person in his life. I wrote a
letter yesterday
It's so hard for me to face
That it had to end
this way
But my love will never change
Logan never wanted to end things with Rory; he thought that the ultimatum would make her say yes. He was kicking himself that he lost everything because he was stubborn. Rory Gilmore had always been so much more stubborn than he was.
"Rory…I'll always love you, please remember that. You are the first and only girl that I have ever truly loved. Sure, I was skeptical at first because I didn't know how to be in a relationship. There's one thing for sure though, my love for you will always linger and I hope that one day you'll come back to me.
Each word he wrote seemed more and more lame, but he knew that written word was the way to Rory. She wasn't going to see him and a letter had worked for him once before. Last time he had Lorelai on his side; there was no chance of that happening again.
When I search my
soul to find a clue
About the love we shared
I wonder why
you're no longer here
Logan knew that it was his own fault, but that didn't change how he felt. He lost her and now he just needed to work towards getting her back. This was going to be more work than he had ever done in the past, but he had never wanted anything as badly as he wanted his girlfriend back.
"Sure, we had our problems, but in the end we always ended up together. When I almost died doing a stupid stunt, you were the first person I saw in the hospital. It didn't matter how mad you were, you were there for me. I've never been loved like that before and I didn't realize just how lucky I was to have you."
Every other time he
messed up, Rory came back. This time didn't have to be any
different. He slept with other girls, he broke up with her without
her knowing, he insulted her ex boyfriend. Every time she gave him
another shot. You can just walk away
But I don't feel
the same
My heart still beats for you, breaths for you, sings for
you
And those feelings will never fade
I can hide my pain
But
I can never hide the way I feel for you
Logan knew that he was going to have to move on with his life. He couldn't spend each day sitting around trying to figure out how to win Rory back. Of course he had tried to go out with other girls, but none of them were Rory Gilmore, therefore none of them were worth his time.
"Walking away at your graduation was a huge mistake for both of us. I wanted nothing other than to hold you and congratulate you. Graduating on time was amazing and I think you're the only person I've ever known that could take time off and still graduate on time and at the top of your class. You're an amazing person and as much as I've tried, I can't hide how much I love you and how much I miss you."
If someone told Logan a
few years before that he would be writing a letter like that, he
would have laughed in their face and then taken another shot. Even
Colin and Finn told Logan that Rory changed him. Finn said that she
was one girl he would never even try to make a move on because she
was the girl who finally stole Logan Huntzberger's heart. Before
Rory, there were doubts that Logan even had a heart. I've
been talking in my sleep
About the way it used to be
Girl, I
pray that you'll hear me
And then I'll see you in my dreams
Oh,
in my dreams
Logan missed living with Rory. He had gotten used to another warm body in his bed, even if they weren't doing anything. He tried getting a cat (since his apartment building didn't allow dogs), but it wasn't the same. Every time that he started to talk in his sleep, the cat would start clawing at him in his sleep.
"I don't think a night has gone by where you haven't been in my dreams. If that's the only place where I can see your face, then I'll sleep forever. I hope that this letter gets you to reconsider. You don't even need to reconsider marrying me; I just want you to be with me again. I need to see you; I need to hear your voice."
He hoped that the letter didn't seem desperate. Then again, Logan was a man in love and sometimes love brings desperation.
But I can't
forget the words you said to move on with my life
And no matter
what I'll carry you insideRory had walked away and she
seemed to be doing fine. She didn't need Logan anymore, so why
should she need him? He wanted to know what she was doing, he wanted
to know where she was. These were things he didn't think that he
would ever learn.
"Please Rory, please come back to me. Or at least call. Anything."
Please…he continued
to think to himself. Sooner or later you're going to
realize
That this type of love happens once in your life
So
open your eyes, girl, and see what we could be
Come back to me
"I love you always. Logan."
