Characters: Itachi, Karin
Summary: Karin feels the need to set the record straight.
Pairings: Itachi x Karin
Author's Note: This is an AU in which Itachi doesn't die but is picked up by Konoha ANBU. He and Karin end up in the same hospital room when she's brought back after being injured by Sasuke.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Her face is pallid and more than a little drawn, just a touch gray and Itachi knows he can't look any better than her. Her glasses slid down her nose almost constantly and one hand goes to press them back up, and at times this is the only sign of life out of her.
As always, Karin's red hair is the brightest thing in the all-white hospital room, and Itachi's dull and fading eyes can still make it out when everything else is blurred together.
They've been sharing this room for over a week and, with the knowledge of why the girl is here Itachi has been straining, for just that long, to think of something to say to her. Is there anything he can say to her, anything at all that can cover what he feels when he thinks of what he overheard, of who had injured her and why?
Itachi's life has been a morass of guilt, sometimes justified and sometimes not—he can't really tell the difference between the two anymore. Now, he thinks it's justified. He planted the seed in Sasuke's mind, and it's taken full bloom now, as reports come in of Sasuke running around the countryside, Sasuke in the company of Uchiha Madara, Sasuke causing wanton destruction, Sasuke losing what's left of his mind.
And here's the proof that he's poisoned his brother. A young girl Sasuke counted as friend, brought to Death's door because of his madness and bloodlust.
Finally, when the seven days have passed, Itachi's had enough time to shore up the courage to clear his dry and cracked throat and speak to her. His fading eyes focus on her hair for lack of any other clear focal point.
"I… Karin-san, was it?" Itachi starts off in this ginger fashion, uncomfortable and not sure if he should go on or just fall silent again and keep his mouth shut until he's removed from this bed and placed in a cell instead.
There's a long pause, then a canny, wry voice shivers into life. "I was beginning to wonder if you still knew how to talk."
Far from putting him at ease, Itachi feels even more ill at ease with this, and wishes he hadn't spoken. This is, if possible, making him feel even worse—for him, apologizing for a deed has always been worse than the guilt itself suffered over the sin. Now that he has her attention, he is under her scrutiny and judgment.
Why do I always have to spend my life apologizing for my deeds and the deeds of others?
Itachi stares down at what he thinks is his hand—the hand not handcuffed to the bed—resting on his stomach. "…I understand that… you were injured, by Sasuke?"
He can feel the air cooling around her, as Karin stiffens and she too grows uncomfortable. "That's right," she says slowly. Eyes are now burning into the side of his head.
Words clog in his throat as Itachi struggles. It's now or never; he's delved too far into the water to come up for air now. Might as well drown in all that guilt, and get off a plea for forgiveness before he dies.
"I… I… I'm… sorry."
Though Itachi can't see it, Karin frowns at this and tilts her head. "What are you apologizing for?" she asks incredulously.
Itachi starts and his clouded eyes snap on what he thinks is her face. His words are slow and drawn out as though dealing with a child or someone not entirely bright; he doesn't mean to be, but it's pretty much an involuntary reaction. "You wouldn't be hurt if I hadn't hurt him, when he was a child."
And he's still a child, Itachi tries to tell himself, still your baby brother even if he's rejected you, what you tried to make him see, totally and utterly. Even if he's turned his back on everything you ever believed in.
The red-haired girl snorts. "You Uchiha… You always look for an excuse to angst, don't you?" Her voice is scornful and exceptionally bitter.
Itachi stares at her.
"Listen, from one misfit in this village to another, I've got something to tell you." Her voice grows slightly more gentle. "I…" Now her words are sticking in her throat, and are plainly painful for her "…about Sasuke. I can see him for what he is now, but before, I used to…well… how do I put this… think differently about him. I'd be more plainspoken, but this is hard.
"You can't claim responsibility for Sasuke, not now. He'll do what he wants to no matter what anyone else tells him; if he follows the advice of another than it's only because it's convenient and it fits his own views. He probably wouldn't listen to a word you say, even if you are his brother.
"Yeah, you did a lot to Sasuke." Itachi winces, and Karin's voice momentarily grows hard again. "You did a lot of things to him that are pretty damn hard to forgive, even if you thought you were doing what's right." Apparently, somehow Karin's found out the true story behind the Uchiha massacre too. "And he probably wouldn't be like this if not for you.
"But Sasuke had a choice too, and he made it; you couldn't make it for him. He's chosen his path. He's made his bed and now he has to lie in it. What he does from the moment on when you tell him what you want him to do is his choice, his responsibility, no matter how much others might try to tell you it's your fault."
Her mood shifts, and Itachi suspects she might be smiling, exceptionally dry. "Besides, I'm not in Konoha handcuffed to a hospital bed and sharing a room with you because of you." She pauses for dramatic effect, humor now bleeding into her voice. "I'm here because of your crazy brother. Never forget that. You'll have an easier time breathing if you remember."
Itachi blinks, and falls back on his bed, exhausted but feeling a bit better than he normally does after apologizing, though still horrible about the whole thing.
Karin's speech has had its effect: he doesn't feel responsible for her own injuries now.
Sharing a hospital room with her will be much easier from here on out.