This was written as a challenge fic for WWIKTT. Story must include: everlasting/undying love Lady/Woman in Red a red rose (single or the full dozen - or more?!) little red hearts on someone's clothing/article of clothing ear nibbling Madame Pomfrey's OR Severus Snape's potion for unrequited love Someone must sashay into the room/hall/classroom/...dungeon?!?! Snape must be referred to as "Lover Boy" Someone must swoon Someone must be swept (by someone OR something) up, away, or into ____ Discalimer: I own absolutly nothing, not even the requirements. I copied them off someone else's fic :) **************************************************************************************************************' Ron woke suddenly, dripping with sweat and screaming bloody murder, waking Harry as well. "AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Harry lept out of bed and rushed over to his side. "What the bloody hell is the matter with you Ron?! I was having this great dream, with me and Cho Chang, and we were on the floor in front of the fire-place and we - mrghf!" Before Harry could tell him the juicy details, Ron had ripped off his heart-covered boxers and stuffed them in Harry's mouth. "I don't want to hear about you and Cho having hot sweaty monkey sex! I had the worst dream ever! I dreamt I was being chased by Snape, only he wasn't really Snape, he was.....oh gods, it was awful! He was this big ugly drag queen dressed all in red, and he kept trying to catch me so he could do who knows what with me!" "MRRGHFGRLLGH!!!!" said Harry, eyes wide. Ron shuddered, then said, "C'mon, we're gonna go down to the common room. I'm not sleeping uo here anymore, too many bad dreams. I swear my bed s cursed!!!" So, the two boys headed downstairs. As soon as Ron walked through the door, he screamed once more. The common room was covered in red roses. The walls, the couches, the chairs, EVERYTHING was swamped in roses! And right in the middle of it all were Hermione and Viktor Krum, making out passionatly. Hermione spotted them, and with out removing her arms from around Viktor's neck, she said, "Oh, it's you two! Look at what my darling Vicky brought me for Valentine's Day!!! Aren't they gorgous!?" Ron opened his mouth the scream once more, but was interupted by Viktor. Pulling Hermione up even closer to him, he declared, "They are not as lovely as you, my dearest Herm-own-ninny! You are more beautiful than any flower could be!" Hermione giggled and blushed, making Ron throw up in disgust. Viktor went on. "These alone could not be enough! I vill now declare my undying luff to you!" He proceded to kneel down one one knee, and pull out a diamond engagement ring. "Herm-own-ninny, my luff, vill you marry me?" Hermione swooned, almost hitting the floor and getting a concussion, but Viktor, being the strong sexy man he is, caught her in time, nibbling her ears as she came back 'round. "Oh Viktor, of COURSE I will! I mean, I AM only 16, but we can vork-I mean, work, around that!" Viktor slipped the ring on her finger, and they began making out again, this time on the floor. Ron ran to the exit and was about to go screaming down the hall, but Snape was waiting right behind the door to the common room. As soon as Ron opened the door, Snape sashayed into the common room. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" screamed Ron, falling to his knees in fright. "PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME!!!!!!" Snape laughed in a high girly voice. "I don't want you, thilly!" he said with a lisp. "I came for HARRY!" Ron looked over at Harry in horror, only to see that he was prancing across the floor to Snape's side. "Hey, Lover-boy!" Harry said, kissing Snape's cheek. Snape giggled, while Ron turned green, ready to puke any second. "But.....how did you.....how.....what the......WHY!?!?!" Ron stammered. Harry giggled. "Well, I've had a crush on Sevy for some time now, but I wasn't sure he liked me back, so I slipped some of his own Unrequited Love potion into his nightly vodka and orange juice, and here we are!! Happy as faries!" He turned, swept Snape into his arms, and kissed him passionatly. Ron couldn't take it anymore. He bolted out of the common room, and out of Hogwarts. Months later, he was found by Hermione and her husband Viktor, and taken to Saint Mungo's, where he lives in a nice little rubber room, all by himself. The end. ************************************************************************************************************** There now, wasn't that stupid!? Heehee........whoooo!!!!!! I HAD to make Hermy and Viktor be a "thing", didn't I! Well, read and review, and yeah......sorry about the format, it's my damn iMac's fault, not mine. Cheers! Oh yeah, and read Sergei. It's a whole lot better than this load of crap! Flames will be heartily agreed with.