Snake and the Fan III
"Hey you're Solid Snake."
"No. No I'm not."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Then who are you?"
"Um...Bill....Cosby."
"You're Bill Cosby!"
"No. I'm his brother."
"That's kind of odd. You look nothing like him."
"Different parents."
"You have totally different parents, yet you're brothers."
"Yes."
"Do you have any other famous family?"
"Uh, the guy who did Skeletor's voice is my uncle."
"What's his name."
"...Bill....Cosby."
"So his name is Bill Cosby too?"
"Yes. There's a lot of Bill's in my family."
"Hey, I know a guy named Bill Cosbyino, do you know him?"
"I think I played polo with him once."
"He hates polo. Whenever I see him he's saying how much he will not play polo that day."
"...Maybe I just imagined he was there. I do that sometimes."
"Are you imagining someone's here right now?"
"No, but I'm imagining you're not."
"How do you do that?"
"Well I close my eyes real hard for twenty minutes, and then when I open them you're gone. Why don't you try with me. Close your eyes real hard."
"Well ok."
"TAXI!"
"Hey Snake, where are you going."
"I'm a....calling that taxi. I had to ask the driver the time."
"There's a giant clock over there."
"It's too big."
"But that makes it easier to read."
"Not me. I've got this eye condition...when I see something too big, my eyes shrink it for me. Like when I see a semi truck, it looks like a hot wheels truck."
"What's this condition called?"
"I forgot. I also have a short term memory problem."
"But if you had this eye problem for awhile, wouldn't it be a long time mermory."
"...No."
"Why not."
"I don't remember. Short term thing."
"So are you like that guy off Memento, that guy who can't remember anything."
"Yes."
"Awsome. How about I kill your wife and then you come and try to find me, but you end up killing all of these other people too."
"I'd rather not. I have to go to a book signing."
"You have a book?"
"Yes. It's called Bill Cosby and The Lone Warriors."
"Hey wait, isn't lone a plural. Warriors shouldn't have an s."
"Hey, I'm not a scientist."
"I never said you were."
"Oh right. I guess it's that short term memory thing."
"Are you sure you're not Solid Snake, there's a picture of you on that bus over there and you look a lot like him."
"No, that's my evil brother. Snake Cosby."
"I didn't know he was a Cosby."
"Oh yeah. Pure evil. You don't want to know what he did in that one batch of Jello."
"Ewww."
"That's what I said too."
"I thought Snake was good, he beat Metal Gear."
"Metal Gear was good....It uh....was making candies for poor kids when Snake comes in with this giant rocket launcher and starts blasting everything."
"How would you know this?"
"I was there."
"How could you remember it if you have no short term memory."
"That was a long term memory. It happened a long time ago."
"Ok, let me get this straight. You're Bill Cosby's brother, Bill Cosby who has an evil twin named Solid Cosby, who destroyed Metal Gear because it was making free candy. Now, you're headed to a book signing where you have a book that has a grammatical error right in the title. And yet, you remember all of this with a short term memory problem. Oh, and you have an eyesight problem that makes giant things like small but somehow you managed to see that bus over there fine even though it's pretty damn big and shoud've been the size of a hot wheels."
"That sounds about right."
"...Can I have a copy of the book?"
"Hey you're Solid Snake."
"No. No I'm not."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Then who are you?"
"Um...Bill....Cosby."
"You're Bill Cosby!"
"No. I'm his brother."
"That's kind of odd. You look nothing like him."
"Different parents."
"You have totally different parents, yet you're brothers."
"Yes."
"Do you have any other famous family?"
"Uh, the guy who did Skeletor's voice is my uncle."
"What's his name."
"...Bill....Cosby."
"So his name is Bill Cosby too?"
"Yes. There's a lot of Bill's in my family."
"Hey, I know a guy named Bill Cosbyino, do you know him?"
"I think I played polo with him once."
"He hates polo. Whenever I see him he's saying how much he will not play polo that day."
"...Maybe I just imagined he was there. I do that sometimes."
"Are you imagining someone's here right now?"
"No, but I'm imagining you're not."
"How do you do that?"
"Well I close my eyes real hard for twenty minutes, and then when I open them you're gone. Why don't you try with me. Close your eyes real hard."
"Well ok."
"TAXI!"
"Hey Snake, where are you going."
"I'm a....calling that taxi. I had to ask the driver the time."
"There's a giant clock over there."
"It's too big."
"But that makes it easier to read."
"Not me. I've got this eye condition...when I see something too big, my eyes shrink it for me. Like when I see a semi truck, it looks like a hot wheels truck."
"What's this condition called?"
"I forgot. I also have a short term memory problem."
"But if you had this eye problem for awhile, wouldn't it be a long time mermory."
"...No."
"Why not."
"I don't remember. Short term thing."
"So are you like that guy off Memento, that guy who can't remember anything."
"Yes."
"Awsome. How about I kill your wife and then you come and try to find me, but you end up killing all of these other people too."
"I'd rather not. I have to go to a book signing."
"You have a book?"
"Yes. It's called Bill Cosby and The Lone Warriors."
"Hey wait, isn't lone a plural. Warriors shouldn't have an s."
"Hey, I'm not a scientist."
"I never said you were."
"Oh right. I guess it's that short term memory thing."
"Are you sure you're not Solid Snake, there's a picture of you on that bus over there and you look a lot like him."
"No, that's my evil brother. Snake Cosby."
"I didn't know he was a Cosby."
"Oh yeah. Pure evil. You don't want to know what he did in that one batch of Jello."
"Ewww."
"That's what I said too."
"I thought Snake was good, he beat Metal Gear."
"Metal Gear was good....It uh....was making candies for poor kids when Snake comes in with this giant rocket launcher and starts blasting everything."
"How would you know this?"
"I was there."
"How could you remember it if you have no short term memory."
"That was a long term memory. It happened a long time ago."
"Ok, let me get this straight. You're Bill Cosby's brother, Bill Cosby who has an evil twin named Solid Cosby, who destroyed Metal Gear because it was making free candy. Now, you're headed to a book signing where you have a book that has a grammatical error right in the title. And yet, you remember all of this with a short term memory problem. Oh, and you have an eyesight problem that makes giant things like small but somehow you managed to see that bus over there fine even though it's pretty damn big and shoud've been the size of a hot wheels."
"That sounds about right."
"...Can I have a copy of the book?"