Title: The Wizard Survival Act

Author: frkwerewolf

Pairing: Ron/Draco

Minor Pairings: Hermione/Ginny, Seamus/Dean, Harry/various

Rating: R

Summary: In the light of the recent war and certain sexual developments in wizarding youth, the Ministry decides to take the production of wizard offspring into their own hands.

Warning: homosexual lurve, a shocking spread of the homosexual lifestyle, and, of course, M-Preg.

Notes: "OotP-Acceptance". That's right, this is a pregnancy fanfic. Post-Hogwarts/Post-War. All relationships are fully developed, in a sense.

Chapter One

The sound of a beak tapping against window pane was heard from the living room and awoke the nearest sleeper from his nap. Ron Weasley fought down a yawn, before climbing to his feet. The Daily Prophet, yet to be read, sat on the coffee table. He scratched idly at his head, causing the slept in locks to ruffle and knot even more. Pulling his robe tightly around him, Ron ventured into the kitchen to open the window. Leaning against the counter, he held his eyes open and not one, but two owls swept into the room.

The first was immediately identified as the barn owl that was owned by the local supplier in fresh potion ingredients. Ron wasn't sure he wanted to open it, knowing that most likely a slimy creature was held within the package. However, he proceeded to remove the burden from the owl and sent it on it's way. He did the same with the other owl, which he was unable to identify. This owl gave him an indignant hoot, nearly worthy of Hedwig, before flying out the window.

"Must be a Ministry owl." Ron muttered to himself. He looked from package to letter, wondering which he should open first. Picking up the package, he made a quick note of the address and opened it with a flourish. And immediately started screaming.

"Bloody hell, can't anyone get some work done around here?" A voice asked in near rage as a blonde, pointed face man bounded into the room. "Dammit, Ron, you weren't suppose to open that."

"S-Sp-pid-d-d-ders." Ron stuttered out.

Indeed, there were at least five live spiders inside the box, attempting to crawl out. He held the box stiffly, his hands and face white from fear. His companion calmly walked over, not before muttering a series of curses, and took the box from Ron's hand. He replaced the lid, securing it tightly, and set it onto the table. This seemed to pull Ron out of his stupor. He narrowed his blue eyes, the white in his face immediately turning red.

"You can't have that in the house." Ron ordered.

"Excuse me?"

"I won't have live spiders in my house!" Ron exclaimed, his voice mildly panicking. His companion rolled a set of gray eyes. "Draco, I refuse."

"Honestly." Draco Malfoy huffed. "I can't possible have them dead. Half of my potions require live spiders. You wouldn't want me to fuck up a potion would you? What would Severus say?"

"One could only imagine what your precious Snape would say about his precious apprentice." Ron said in agitation. "Fine, just... Keep them in your lab, under lock and key?"

"You know, it's not my fault you opened the bloody box." Draco replied. Ron frowned, before rolling his eyes as Draco leered in response. "Fine. Off to protect my darlings from the big bad redhead."

"Git." Ron said, though it was spoken rather fondly as Draco sauntered out of the room. Taking a deep breath, he turned to the letter. He took a quick glance at the address, which read: Ronald and Draco Malfoy-Weasley, First Floor Kitchens, Silver Crest Manor, 198 Blacksmith Rd., Cambridge, England. Heaving yet another yawn, Ron yanked out the letter.

For the second time that day, Draco was interrupted by his husband screaming. Letting out a dramatic sigh, Draco secured the lid for his spiders and slowly made his way out of the basement and onto the first floor. He found Ron pacing the living room, a large cup of tea gripped tightly in one hand and a piece of parchment in the other. Draco crossed his arms and casually leant against the doorway.

"Is there a particular reason you're walking a ditch into our carpet?" Draco asked after Ron's pacing continued for a few more minutes. Ron slowed to a stop and slowly turned toward him. Frowning, Draco took in the redhead's shocked appearance. "Are you all right? Potter didn't go and die on you, did he?"

Ron didn't answer. Instead, he carefully handed Draco the letter. Draco immediately recognized the Ministry of Magic's broken seal. Sending one last look at Ron's stiff form, Draco sat down on the sofa and proceeded to read the letter aloud. Some part of him took great pleasure in watching Ron cringe from the letter's contents. But the rest of him was cringing along, so he refrained from commenting.

Dear Mr. and Mr. Malfoy-Weasley,

On September 12, 2002, the Ministry of Magic is pleased to announced that the Wizard Survival Act (WSA) has been passed. After two years of hard labor, the Ministry feels this is the best route we can take as a society as whole. Thus, we must ask certain people to make choices that will aid in our survival as a magical community.

In brief, the WSA will give those with an alternate lifestyle a chance to become parents, a feat that was normally preserved for only the wealthiest of homosexual wizards and witches. Each homosexual couple, under the Ministry's watchful eye, will be given this glorious gift in reproduction and parenthood. Remember, the Ministry needs you to help this law in it's infancy.

A meeting will be held at your nearest Ministry Division on September 13, at 6 am to further discuss the WSA. A Ministry representative will be there to explain the law in detail, along with one of the WSA's medical staff in order to explain the technical aspects. We look forward to seeing you there.

Sincerely,

Mafalda Tressory

Committee of Wizard Growth, Head Chairwitch

Draco reread the letter five more times to himself, before crumbling it in his fist. Taking a deep breath, he leaned back into the sofa. His eyes glanced once at Ron, who hand fallen into a horrid looking slump on the floor, before moving to the fireplace mantel. Unable to stop himself, he focused on a particular picture.

The picture held two figures. One was a tall and rather muscular looking man with red hair and a blushing grin. The other was a shorter, lean figure whose face sneered back at Draco. The couple wore black robes that were common in weddings. With a sigh, Draco turned away as the picture version of himself suddenly slipped his hand into the picture-Ron's robes.

"This is ridiculous." Draco finally said, reopening the crumbled paper. "Committee of Wizard Growth? When did they add that?"

"Right after the war." Ron mumbled from where his head was resting against the floor.

"Rather silly if you ask me." Draco replied. "I suddenly realize why I never went into politics."

"Why did we have to get married? What in the hell was the reason for it?" Ron suddenly asked. Draco narrowed his eyes.

"I beg your pardon, but at the time I was under the stupid impression that I loved you." Draco snapped. "Besides, it's not my fault you kissed me seventh year."

"Kiss you?" Ron asked, finally sitting up with a look of disbelief. "You tackled me down in an abandoned hallway and knocked me unconscious. You were bloody well kissing me when I came to."

"You act as though you didn't want it." Draco said in mock surprise. Ron growled. "Now, now. None of that. We have matters to discuss. I can't have you turning me on when there is your manhood on the line."

"My manhood?" Ron asked.

"They are practically telling us that one of will be getting seeded, if you get my drift." Draco replied, gesturing with the parchment. "I'm not about to do it."

"Neither one of us is getting pregnant." Ron insisted. "We're men! We don't get pregnant."

"Are you saying we can't do something a woman can?" Draco questioned, his nose in the air. "That's sexism, you know."

"Oh, please. First of all, men do not have the emotional capacity of an ant, let alone a mother." Ron told him. "Secondly, neither one of us have the hip capacity to give birth."

"Hip capacity?" Draco raised an eyebrow.

"Child bearing hips." Ron explained. "Oh, come on, don't tell me you have no clue as to what I'm talking about."

"Actually, I'm trying to ignore you." Draco said, sniffing daintily. "I'm rather upset about your indication that you didn't want to marry me."

"I asked, didn't I?" Ron replied.

"Well, we were in the middle of a war, you prat." Draco retorted. "People do stupid things."

"Like saving you from the clutches of You-Know-Who right before he tried to scar you with the Dark Mark?" Ron asked, raising an eyebrow. "I practically saved your life, you dumbass. I wouldn't do that unless I loved you."

"You did run in there wand waving like some knight in shining armor." Draco smiled serenely. "Well, more like a raving lunatic, but it had my father pissing the stone, so I didn't mind so much."

"Yes, well, I'm noble like that." Ron replied, rolling his eyes.

"Hmm, you don't think that's what drove my father insane, do you?" Draco asked.

"Nah, that man was loony to begin with."

"Too true." Draco agreed. Ron managed to climb to his feet, having pushed the thoughts of pregnancy and annoying Ministries out of his head. Ron sat down on the sofa next to Draco, grinning as Draco immediately rested his head on his shoulder.

"Am I forgiven?" Ron asked.

"Until next time, I suppose." Draco sighed contently. They sat in silence, a thing that both found to be far more pleasing than their normal arguments. It was the soft pop from the fireplace that finally broke their musings.

"Oh, good, you're here." Hermione Granger's head said with a sigh. "Did you get the letter?"

"The Wizard Survival Act? Yeah, got it this morning." Ron replied. "Come on through."

"That Granger, always ruining a good mood." Draco grumbled.

"And a good day to you as well, Draco." Hermione replied. She brushed off her robes as another figure popped through the Floo. Hermione turned to Ginny Weasley with a smile. "Would you like some tea, dear?"

"Yes, thank you." Ginny replied, before sitting in the nearest chair. She turned to her brother and his husband with a wicked smile. "So, have you decided which one of you will be impregnated?"

"He will." Draco and Ron said at the same time.

"Personally, I think Draco would be a wonderful mother. He's rather delicate and effeminate. Not to mention he's able to do that high pitched squawking most mother's do when scolding their children." Ginny commented.

"Oh, and which one of you will be mommy dearest?" Draco asked, his nose stuck in the air as though he were smelling something dreadful.

"Please, does Hermione look like the type to give birth?" Ginny asked, her voice amused. Hermione entered the room a second later, handing Ginny her cup of tea before sliding in next to her on the chair. Draco tried not to flinch as Hermione tossed some of her bushy hair over her shoulder. It revealed a long, jagged scar running down one cheek, the result of being captured by Death Eaters and tortured for information during their sixth year.

"Are you saying I wouldn't hold myself properly as a pregnant woman?" Hermione asked.

"Honey, it's sad, but true." Ginny patted her knee.

"Excuse me, but are we forgetting the crazy situation we are all officially in?" Ron asked, his voice reminiscent of when he had opened Draco's spider package. "This is an invasion of privacy! Since when do they have any right in forcing us to have children?"

"They've done it before, Ron." Hermione said, a little too calm for Ron's tastes.

"When?"

"Didn't you read The Daily Prophet this morning?" Hermione asked. "They had a section on the history of the WSA. It was enforced once before, just after the plague in the dark ages, when there was a decline in wizarding births. I believe Draco is a direct descendant of that law."

"Yes, well, I don't like to talk about that." Draco replied.

"It's a good thing Harry hasn't bonded with someone yet." Ginny suddenly said. "Could you imagine his reaction? At least Ron will only bitch and complain, Harry'd probably go off his rocker. Well, even more so than he is already."

"He saved the world." Ron defended. "He has the right to get a little wild."

"Yes, but I heard from Susan Bones that a girl in her department told her about Harry inviting her brother and cousin to an orgy." Ginny said in a scandalous voice. "Can you believe it? It's a good thing we have a cure for STDs, because that boy would be long dead by now."

"Honestly." Ron huffed.

"It's bad enough we started a trend, you know." Hermione pointed out. "It wasn't until after both you and me came out of the closet that homosexual relationships started popping out of the woodwork. And, well, when Harry started fancying guys there was nothing for it. At this rate the wizarding world would be dwindled down to only muggleborns, who sooner or later would stop being born altogether."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Ron whined. "They're going to go into vivid detail at that stupid meeting tomorrow morning, as it is."

"I'm just trying to prepare you, Ron."

"Well, we aren't doing it." Ron insisted. "It's... Unnatural."

"Yeah, but some say the same thing about anal sex, don't they?" Ginny asked smugly. Ron's face turned beet red. Draco was oddly quiet.

"Look, this is ridiculous." Ron said, as though he had to have the final word. Ginny rolled her eyes in response. "I'm serious, here. Male pregnancy? Can't they just... Make us adopt?"

"I think Draco would make a cute pregnant man." Ginny said with a smirk.

"Ginny." Hermione said quiet, despite the amused smile on her face.

"He would." Ginny continued. "Could you simply imagine it, Ron? His little swollen feet and large belly. A thing that was actually a part of you growing inside of him? I heard they've found a way to create the fetus using both couples, instead of using a donor."

"Yes, the last time that's what they relied on." Hermione agreed. "I wonder how they managed?"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, like you always do." Draco said rather disdainfully. He looked over to find his husband looking at him funny. "What?"

"Nothing." Ron replied, looking away. "Shouldn't you guys be heading home?"

"Yes, I suppose." Ginny sighed. "I have that horrid report for Neville due in the morning. I regret the day he got a backbone, really I do."

"War does that." Draco pointed out. All of them fell quiet for a few seconds, knowing full well what he meant. Neville had changed even more than Draco during the war. His almost mousy ways had completely vanished until he became a hard, stern fighter. The day he killed Bellatrix Lestrange would most likely go down in the history books.

"Well, we should go." Hermione finally said, standing. Ron stood to give them a goodbye hug. As they disappeared through the Floo, Ron turned to Draco with a half-smile.

"What?" Draco asked.

"Nothing." Ron replied, picking up the empty cups of tea.

"Don't nothing me, Weasley." Draco ordered. He followed Ron into the kitchen, watching as Ron went about cleaning and putting away the last of the dirty dishes. Finally, Ron turned back to him. Crossing the distance between them, Ron pulled Draco into a warm hug. "What's this about?"

"Just thought I'd express my love." Ron whispered.

"You're daft." Draco informed him, before pulling the redhead down for a kiss.