Arnold's Last Stand
Chapter 1: Sacrifice
I twas a bright, beautiful morning in the Permian Period, 252 million years before man and 20 million years before the first dinosaurs. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, until some peculiar visitors appeared…
Out of a bright flash of light emerged a yellow school bus with a face. It did a "meep meep" sound like a roadrunner. The side of the bus opened, and out emerged a middle-aged woman with frizzy red hair put into a bun wearing a purple dress patterned with Saturns. She had a very eccentric grin on her face.
"So here we are in the Permian Era class! As my third cousin Nignog used to say, "Get out there and explore!" the woman said.
"WIll we see dinosaurs yet Ms. Frizzle?" said a fat kid wearing a lime-green shirt with a big, red, stupid "R" on it. He also wore a red baseball cap turned backwards.
"Well Ralphie," responded a girl with blonde pigtails wearing a purple turtleneck sweater, "According to my research, dinosaurs weren't around yet, the fauna in this time consisits mostly of synapsids and other primitive reptiles."
"We don't need a lecture, Dorothy Ann!" interrupted a black girl with curly brown hair tied into a ponytail atop her head wearing a magenta and blue sweater dress.
"Hopefully this ends better than the last time we time travelled…" said a shorter asian girl with a pink shirt and red vest. "They still think that the second shooter was a government agent…"
"You just HAD to pull that fire that second shot when JFK was driving by, didn't you Wanda?" remarked a black boy with curly hair and a blue shirt,
"You could say he's locked and loaded about it!" joked a latino boy with black hair and a blue hoodie.
"CARLOS!" everyone scolded.
After some difficulty, out emerged two kids holding hands. One of them was a skinny, scraggly-looking boy with glasses, orange curly hair and was wearing a yellow and white-striped polo shirt. The other one was a girl with brown hair that went down only to her bottom jaw, and a yellow headband on top. She was wearing a red, overall dress with a yellow long sleeve undershirt. The girl's abdomen was round and distended.
"So Phoebe, i've been thinking about naming him Arnold Jr."
"But what if it's a girl?" questioned Phoebe. "In that case we should name her Amber."
"Come on Phoebe, you and I both know that's a stripper name." Arnold retorted.
"Well, Tim was suggesting Xavier, and D.A. came up with Claudia, how do those sound?"
Arnol sighed, "I don't know Phoebe, the baby's coming soon and I just don't wanna think about it right now."
"At my old school, we never got pregnant…" Phoebe recalled.
A swift, loud slap sound was made as Arnold's hand slammed into Phoebe's face, making it turn a rosy red.
"Shut the fuck up you fat whore!" Arnold yelled, "This isn't your old school!"
Phoebe rubbed her face, and continued walkiing.
"What are those things?" the black girl pointed at a herd of pig-sized creatures with bulky, muscular builds, sprawled legs, flat faces with parrot like beaks, and two short, tusk-like canines protruding downward from their mouths. They were grazing.
"Well Keesha, according to my research, those things are called Lystrosaurus; they were part of a family of burrowing synapsids called Dicynodonts and were one of the only land animals to survive The Great Dying." explained Dorothy-Ann ("D.A." for short).
"Is it just me, or do those dino-dogs look hungry?" remarked Ralphie.
Everyone looked to where he was pointing, their stood a pack of terrifying creatures who were built somewhat like dogs, except a lot more muscular, and with sprawled out legs like a crocoldile, and a long narrow snout with sabre teeth.
"Those are Gorgonopsids Ralphie!" Ms. Frizzle said in a cheery voice, "They were the top predators of their day! But remember, these creatures were synapsids, which were closely related to modern mammals, while dinosaurs were diapsids which were closely related to modern birds and reptiles."
The gorgonopsids caught sent of the class, and showed their teeth. The class screamed and began fleeing. The prehistoric predators continued to chase them, but the class was running ata a fast speed, so they coundlt catch up. The class made it to the bus and everyone scrambelled their way into the bus. The gorgonopsids started clawing at and ramming the side of the vehicle.
"What are we waiting for the Friz?" questioned Carlos, "Take us home!"
"It seems as though the bus is out of fuel…" Mrs. Frizzle responded.
"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1!111!" The class shouted in unison.
Everyone began panicking, "Oh bad, oh bad bad bad" said Keesha.
"What are we gonna do what are we gonna do what are we gonna do!" shouted Wanda.
"Don't Fret class!, all we have to do is refuel the bsus!" said Ms. Frizzle.
"Okay… what fuel does the bus run on?" asked Phoebe.
"People" Ms. Frizzle responded
"This bus fucking eats people?!" retorted Ralphie.
Tim turned to Ralphie, "Well of coarse, why do you think we're the only class in the entire school? I don't even think we have a principle."
"Well you know what that means…" said Carlos, "One of us is gonna have to become bus food…" he looked around, "Whose it gonna be?"
The class looked around at eachother, each kid drenched in sweat, gulping, and tugging at their collars, for one of them would not be going home today. Arnold looked at Phoebe his love, who was carrying his unborn child. Arnold looked down at his feet and closed his eyes, he knew what he had to do.
"Mrs. Frizzle" Arnold announced raising his hand, "I'll go."
"Arnold?" everyone said in unison, shocked.
"No! You can't!" responded Phoebe, about to cry. "What about our baby?"
"That's precisely who I'm doing this for. A kid's gotta do what a kid's a kid's gotta do. And I know what I gotta do."
"Don't say that Arnolf!" Tears were rolling down Pheobe's cheeks.
"We haven't a choice… I love you Phoebe…"
"We'll never forget you Arnold!" shouted D.A.
Just then, everybody group hugged Arnold, and everyone was crying, even Keesha, who was the tough one. Arnold walked out of the bus, everyone was staring at him, with some waving their final goodbyes. But Phoebe, she strapped her bones into the seat, and broke out into tears, burying her face into her hands.
Arnold walked out into the front of the bus, the bus stared right at him. Arnold's last stand was about to begin.
"My oh my, you look mighty tasty!" said the bus in a fat sassy black lady voice.
Arnold walked toward the bus's open mouth and jumped in. The bus began chewing and loud crunches and piercing screams were heard as the bus' metal jaws were crushing the 9-year old's bones.
"Mmm!" Said the bus, "Yummeh yummeh in mah tummeh!"
The bus began to rapidly spin around like a tornado and levatating. The kids inside went "WOOOAAAAH!" While Ms. Frizle did her signature "YAHOOOO!". The bus disappeared in a bright flash of light and began flying through time. Suddenly, a loud alram was heard.
"What's happening?" panicked Tim.
"Hmm… It seems like eating Arnold wasn't enough to fuel the bus completely…" observed Mrs. Frizzle, "Hold on tight class!"
The bus then fell out of the wormhole it was flying through.