A/N: My Sauron Monologue is up!!!! And I figured out how to spell Monologue!!!! YAHOO! Note to Self: bananas are NOT good to eat when you want to be calm.

Monologue: Sauron
Why I'm Not A Villain

All I ever wanted to do was to play Parcheesi. Parcheesi is my favorite game. I love Parcheesi. But I only had orcs to play it with me. However all orcs are evil, but they are SO stupid. They can't even figure out how to roll a dice let alone use strategy. So I created the ultimate Parcheesi players. They just happened to be evil and wanted to take over the world. It wasn't MY fault they got screwed up.

Then I made a Ring. It was actually made for Parchessi, but it got screwed up too and made me want to take over the world. Not that that's a bad thing...er....ahem. Well, it made me fight against that ugly guy and his dad and a whole bunch of girly looking warriors. He cut my MIDDLE FINGER! Of course I'm going to be mad if someone cutes off my middle finger. It HURTS! How am I supposed to express my road rage if I don't have my middle finger?!?! I decided to get back at the people who stole my middle finger...er....ring and made me have trouble playing Parcheesi. I sat and waited and played Parcheesi while my evil Parcheesi playing minions went to look for my ring. Little did they know that those short fat creatures got my ring. The pansy creatures wanted to destroy it!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL RING!!!!!!

Boy was I mad!!! I still hadn't gotten back my finger, so I went to war with them. After a long battle they .....*SOB*...... defeated me!!!! Can you believe it?!? ME DEAFEATED!?!?!?!?! I couldn't believe it. I ALWAYS win. ALWAYS!!!! But this time I was defeated when they destroyed my ring. And I died.

And you know the really sad part??? I NEVER GOT MY MIDDLE FINGER BACK!!!! STUPID FAT HOBBITS!!!!! *SOB*