Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters, only my OC nor the lyrics "Only" which is originally preformed by Nine Inch Nails.
Chapter 1: Only
I'm becoming less defined as days go by
Fading away
And well you might say
I'm losing focus
Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
The voice in my head never seemed to drift away. Just like the memories I locked deep inside the core of my heart. Now I am locked in this place known as a sanitarium forever lost in the insanity that consumed my mind and soul. The place where the shifting sands of time stay still, and where the cycles of hell exist. In this mad house I am considered quite intellectual and clever, usually compared to such fictitious exaggerated characters such as Hannibal Lecter and Patrick Bateman. I chuckle to myself whenever I hear this for I am far worse than both. I have manipulated many from men to children, but not only that I murdered brutally countless of newborns throughout hospitals in Japan. If the mothers are attractive enough I raped and killed them enjoying the blood in my hands. Yet that's not the worst action I committed, and that is witnessing a woman give birth to a baby girl. I fucked her baby pushing it back into her mother's womb stretching out the mother's tight vaginal walls. Her screams of horror and pain echoed all over the halls, but no one heard. The baby girl suffocated inside and her mother dies due to all that pain. I continued to sodomize her body and the baby's until my juices spilled over their bodies. I stared at them, keeping the magnificent scene inside the abyss parts of my mind. The woman died with wide eyes and mouth opened due to the pain making her legs spread out wide. The baby shoved back inside her vagina only showing her body and in between both females' legs the fresh blood flowed out. The intoxication of their blood was too much for me that I obsessed over the bodies for a while until maggots started to form. I consider this an art, the art of murdering and sodomy.
A long time ago I searched throughout the world to find her once again. Now she is nothing, but a figment of my imagination. The voice in my head, she advised me to do these horrendous actions. This alternate world began at the tender age of five, I just witnessed my father rape my mother. I cried for days, but later on I felt some pleasure watching this. Inside my mind I had sick thoughts of my mother for some reason. I started to dream about her for about a month, but later it stopped suddenly. Almost every night my siblings and I over heard them both argue and resulting that in the end my mother gets countless fucks from my father. We ignored it usually focusing in other things, but then I hit the prepubescent age, which were my twelve years. More dirty thoughts were driven into my mind that at that time mother died a year ago due to a disease, but we all know it must have been my father. This time my target was my fifteen-year-old sister, Temari. She developed into a fine woman with round bouncy breasts and eyes that shone similar to emeralds. Her sand colored soft hair tied up in four ponytails, but once she untied her hair she resembled my mother, excluding the eye color. I started to touch myself every night and peeked at her when she changed or showered. One day I decided to confess to her, but resulted to end horrendously. Temari introduced Kankuro and me her boyfriend, Shikamaru Nara. That night Shikamaru and Temari wanted to make love to each other. Enraged of what I witnessed I finally barged in took my sisters virginity that night and killed her with Shikamaru. Kankuro found out about my strange sister complex and was about to contact the authorities, but dad did not allow him. Father actually praised me for what I have done and decided to use me for certain "errands".
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I can see right through myself
Less concerned about fitting into the world
Your world that is
Cause it doesn't really matter anymore
(no it doesn't really matter anymore)
No it doesn't really matter anymore
None of this really matters anymore
Father owned a big corporation in Tokyo, Japan producing mass products such as TVs, monitors, computers, and other technology. America had sums amount of capital and bought products from rival corporations, especially Sony. With capitalist America the Japanese economy increased making my father rich. He named the corporation after his surname Sabaku. Father made many adversaries that were a major threat and as a weapon he used me to kill their sons and daughters or the CEOs themselves. I loved the females mostly though they were tender, naïve, innocent, and so damn soft. I force them sex and after that killed them. Basically, my whole life revolved around kill, sex, kill, school, kill, eat, sex, kill, bathroom, kill, sex, and finally sleep. My father enrolled me to the prestigious Suna Academy, which focused mainly on business. Father thought Kankuro was too dense to pass on the position of CEO, also the fact Kankuro was horrible in mathematics. He passed it on to me and prepared me for school at the time.
Yes I am alone but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe it's because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself, yeah
And I just made you up to hurt myself
And it worked.
Yes it did!
The voice inside my head always told me I would always suffer solitude. I agreed with it too, because I am forever alone. I had the highest G.P.A in all my freshman class and athletic ability. Many admired me, but others abhorred my success and arrogance. I never had friends and did not need them. Usually, I murdered some of my classmates for the feeling of euphoria that I desperately needed. Most of the girls in my class had a crush on me and once they confessed I gave them what they truly wanted, sex. Sex was the vortex of pleasure, bliss, and pure ecstasy that each mortal falls into this sinful addiction. Each time I thrust I envisioned my sister when she squealed for me to stop turning me on more than ever. Temari's screams of pain repeating inside my cerebrum, that the girls confessed to me that I was a bit rough on each. I only showed apathy towards each of girls' comments; I only wanted sex and satisfaction from each one. I created a virtual world in which sex and violence replaced the feeling of an inexistent God. The world in which God is dead, and faith filled me with lies to replace that emptiness and create a purpose to live for I used both horrendous elements.
Out of nowhere she flew into my life. Her long black hair contemplated her creamy tan skin and enormous gorgeous brown eyes. Her body was voluptuous to me, but to the fools in my class preferred the under developed fiends in our class. She transferred from a Latin country, but earned a scholarship to study in Japan. She came from a low-income family, which made her uninteresting to the other students who believed that commoners were just tools and filth. Me on the other hand lusted for her. She had a meek and timid personality and heard rumors that she lived alone. After school I coincidentally see her, but later on stalked her. The stalking turned into an ill obsession that my father noticed that I have been distracted from my responsibilities.
There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
Well the tiniest little dot caught my eye and it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling like I just knew it's something bad
I just couldn't leave it alone, I kept picking at the scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through
Now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be, and I can see things I know I really shouldn't see
And now I know why, now, now, now I know why
Things aren't as pretty
On the inside
One day she did not went to her apartment for some reason. I went a bit insane that I searched for her, that on my way I tortured some women out of desperation and impatience. It resulted she qualified as a Japanese citizen and verified it. This information brought me to my original placid state, bringing me through a trance of questions. What is she doing to me? Why am I desperate for her to notice me? Why doesn't she notice me when other girls do? Why am I obsessing? I had to find out, I wanted to find out. My brain dysfunction more at the thought of her that the control I once had seems to fade away into fragments. The feeling of disintegrating caused me the chills because I could not memorize her name. What was her name? Oh, what was her name? Oh yes, her name was Emilia Espinoza.
Author's Note: I used some references of the characters from books. Hannibal Lecter is Thomas Hariss's creation and Patrick Batemen is Bret Easton Ellis. This idea popped out of nowhere while reading Nietzsche. Hope you readers were amused by my interpretation of Gaara's insanity :D.