"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."
― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
I wish I could tell you the thoughts running through the head of one Alexander Hamilton that warm, Friday afternoon, but really there isn't much to say. His mind was set on one goal: find the book, get out fast, and retreat back into his studies.
It was sunny outside, but he didn't care. Hamilton wasn't even aware of the weather, since the library had no windows.
His roommate had practically shoved him out of the dorm room, eager to be rid of the insistent clicking noise of Alex writing an essay on how the Spanish-American War began with America's rise to colonial power. He needed some more extra oomph to his essay, such as more reliable sources than the ones he had found on Google, so Hamilton had come to see if he could find any in the college's vast library.
The books were soft, their covers worn from use. Alexander ran his hand over them, biting his tongue in concentration as he tried to find the right one. Eventually, he found it. It was the thickest one on the shelf, and maybe even the oldest. Just taking it out of it's perch stirred up a cloud of dust. Alex wave it away with a cough.
He flipped through it for a little bit, mostly to make sure it was the book he was searching for. Right as Hamilton made to close it, there was a loud crash directly in front of him. Alex looked up with a start. The row of books in front of him had completely fallen off the shelves, and, from what he could see, onto some poor sap.
"Are you okay?" Alex asked uncertainly.
There was a laugh, and the pile shifted as the book's victim sat up.
"Yeah, I'm good." the boy laughed, looking up to meet Alex's gaze. His face was charmingly flushed, and covered with a galaxy of freckles.
Hamilton caught a glimpse of his hazel eyes before the boy bashfully ducked his head, and a flush filled his own cheeks.
"My name is Alexander Hamilton." he said, awkwardly putting the book under one arm and reaching out the other, through the shelf, so he could shake the boy's hand.
With a smile, he took it.
"Laurens. I mean, John Laurens, at your service."
Alex smiled, and John grinned back. There was a brief, unsure pause. Alex wasn't the best with...people. He tended to be abrasive, some say rude, and loud. Here, though, he was lost for words.
"Bonjour Américains! Lafayette est dans le bâtiment!" a voice crowed from around the corner.
The sudden noise startled Laurens so much that, somehow, he managed to twist around and bang his head on the shelf. Alex winced when he realized he had actually heard the crack.
He ran around the bookshelf to get to John.
The man who had entered, Lafayette if Alexander had understood him correctly, was loudly conversing with his friend. Hamilton didn't bother to actually try to make out what they were saying, though.
"John? Are you okay?" he asked, looking down at him.
John wrinkled his nose in disgust as he touched the back of his head. Wincing, he pulled his hand away.
"Yeah, I've had worse. Though it would do those jackasses good to enter a room without giving me a heart attack for once." he growled. Still, he sounded almost fond.
The 'jackasses' heard Laurens, and their heads simultaneously whipped around to grin at him.
"Laurens!" they hooted.
He waved, propping himself with one hand to the floor. Alex realized he was squatting close enough to John to be weird, so he shifted a little. The other man didn't seem to care either way.
John's friends wandered over. They each gave Hamilton curiously stares, and that kind of freaked him out. He felt like they were sizing him up, and Alex wasn't sure what they were seeing. He tried to sit up a little bit straighter, just in case.
"Who's this?" the bigger one asked. His voice was deep, but not in a frightening way.
John stood up, and Alex followed suit.
"Alexander Hamilton," John responded, brushing all of the book dust off of himself, "this is Marquis de Lafayette," he pointed to one of the men, who had long, curly black hair and a goofy smile, "but if you call him that you'll inflate his ego. Please don't. And that's Hercules Mulligan."
Hercules winked at Alex jokingly, and Lafayette jabbed him in the side with his elbow.
Alex raised his hand shyly, offering a small "Hi."
Lafayette leaned so he could high-five his hand, and Alex blinked.
"What are you doing rotting in the library, Laurens?" Hercules asked, leaning against the bookshelf.
"A little something called studying for an even smaller something called classes. You should try it some time." he quirked, beginning to pick the pile of books on the floor. Alex helped, feeling that it was partly his fault, even though he had no idea they had actually fallen.
Mulligan laughed, "Smartass. Take a break and come to the bar with us, your boyfriend can come, too."
Laurens took a minute to look up and scowl at Hercules, flush rising on the back of his neck. Hamilton didn't notice.
"What do you say, Alex? Want to come?" John asked, shelving the last book.
He hesitated for a moment, thinking it out thoroughly. Mulligan, Laurens, and Lafayette: all three of them seemed like someone Hamilton would like to become friends with. Plus, he hadn't given himself a moment to rest since he started at Princeton College.
Alexander spared a glance at John, whose head was tilted in question. His long hair fell with the tilt. Alexander decided he seemed genuine enough.
So Alex went with it.
"I would like that a lot." he answered with a smile.
That was how he found himself seated at the dark oak bar of the Sam Adams Brewery, John to his right and Mulligan at his left. Lafayette was trying to get someone to dance with him, and when they all refused he ran around the room looking for a partner. Hercules kept trying to drink his beer, but ended up spilling most of it on himself as he laughed at his friend's antics.
The beer tasted awful, but Alex didn't care. He drank four glasses all the same, and soon felt a warm tingle spread across his body.
Someone nudged his arm, and Alex looked over to where John was pointing.
"Aaron Burr, prodigy of Princeton college." he murmured into Hamilton's ear.
Alex cocked his head, "Who?"
"What? You've never heard of him, really?" John's eyes widened in disbelief.
"No," Alex laughed, "What? Who is he?"
"He's super smart, aiming to be a senator or whatever. Got in with a full scholarship."
Alexander shrugged, "So?"
"That's not enough? He's a genius! Also kind of mysterious. No one knows that much about him, and the few friends he has say he's very closed off." John laughed, bumping Hamilton's shoulder with his own.
Alex took a sip of his drink to hide his flush, and studied Burr. Even though he was wearing jeans and a simple shirt, Burr looked as though he was wearing a suit. It was in the way he carried himself, like a man with a purpose.
To his surprise, Burr sat down next to John.
"Hello, boys." he said with a small smile, "Who's this?"
"Alexander Hamilton, meet Aaron Burr."
Alex raised his glass, "Sir."
With a laugh, Aaron tapped his own drink against Alexander's. John raised a curious eyebrow.
"What brings you to Sam Adams?" Hercules asked casually, running his finger around the edge of his glass.
Briefly, Burr's gaze landed on a pretty young waitress with dark, styled hair. Laurens broke into a sly grin.
"Ah, I heard you had someone on the side, Burr." he purred.
It was Alex's turn to give John a jab. He gave an exaggerated whimper.
Aaron shook his head, and pushed away from the bar, "She's got a boyfriend, and I should go."
"No! Stay!" Hamilton prompted.
Burr smiled, but didn't sit back down.
"I'll see you around, Alexander. It was nice meeting you."
Alex watched him go, and then turned back to Mulligan.
"He doesn't seem that bad."
Hercules shook his head, "I don't know. That's the most I've ever heard him speak to anyone besides the professors."
"Huh."
John clapped him on the shoulder, "Anyways! Let's get back to having fun. Let's have another round, shall we?"
Alex laughed, "You're drunk."
"The best kind." Laurens reasoned.
Lafayette chose that moment to come bounding up to them, the ever present grin lighting up his face brighter than the strobe lights.
"Hercules! Time to dance." he said, extending his hand with a flourish.
Mulligan groaned good naturedly, "You're like a puppy on a sugar high, you know that? Can't you find anyone in here that will dance with you?"
Lafayette shook his head, and pulled Mulligan to his feet.
"They'll be at it for awhile." Laurens said, amused, "Want to head out? It's not that long of a walk to the dorm, and if you want we can get a cab."
Mulligan was currently jumping off a table in a failed attempt at crowd surfing with Lafayette cheering him on. Luckily, the table wasn't very high and Hercules quickly stumbled to his feet. His friend wrapped his arm around his shoulders, both of them roaring with laughter.
"Yeah, that sounds good." Alex agreed.
They stood, Alex dropping a tip into the plastic nut jar marked College Fund on their way out the door. The bartender smiled at him in thanks.
"That was nice." Laurens remarked as he shrugged on his dark blue overcoat.
Hamilton shrugged, "It was a tip."
"You gave him twenty dollars. Where the hell do you even get twenty dollars to throw around?" John said with a snort.
He was clearly joking. Alex ducked his head in embarrassment when he realized that something in John's tone showed that he was almost praising him.
"It's no big deal. I have a job, and I got the 'Burr Scholarship'. That kid obviously wasn't so lucky."
"Seriously? Wow."
Alex raised an eyebrow, "Wow?"
Laurens just laughed, putting his arm around Alex's shoulders like Lafayette had done to Hercules.
"Where have you been this whole time? Why haven't I seen you around campus?"
"I don't really go out much. Since I got the scholarship I have to be the top of my class, to prove it wasn't a waste or the wrong choice." he admitted.
It was cold outside, even though the sun was blinding. Alexander had forgotten that it was only late afternoon, especially since it had been so dark inside the bar.
"That sound horrible. Lonely, too. Don't you have any friends?" Laurens asked. They paused at the crosswalk as hoards of cars passed by. Rush hour was at it's peak, so it was a minute before they could safely cross.
Hamilton met John's gaze, offering only a shrug and a feeble, "My roommate is pretty cool."
"Well, now you've got us, too." John said, casually bumping Alex's shoulder.
He smiled.
It wasn't a long walk to the dorms, but by the time they got there their cheeks and noses were red from the wind. The color made John's freckles stand out even more.
"Dorm number?" John prompted, holding the door open for Alex.
"Er, 15." Alex answered, pulling his keys out of his pocket.
Laurens laughed, "What? No way. You're old Ben's roommate? Lafayette and I are down the hall."
"You can't be serious. You're the loud ones?"
John poked his arm playfully.
"We are the fun ones. Here we are."
They stopped outside of Alex's door, and he unlocked it.
"I'm sure I'll see you around?"
Hamilton hesitated for a fraction of a second, but not enough for John to notice.
"Yeah. I'll see you later."
Laurens gave him one last smile before he jogged down the hall. Alex slipped into the dorm. It was empty, so he sat down and got his computer ready. Even though the essay was almost finished, and twenty more pages than necessary, he couldn't find it in himself to write anymore.
This was a surprise, since he wrote constantly. Instead, he dragged himself over to his bed and laid down. The coffee had worn off long ago, and tiredness crashed over Alex in waves. He decided to take the second break of the day, and sleep.