Hey guys (: This is my first fic and I'm really excited to be stepping into the glorious world of fanfiction, so please leave constructive criticisms for me, kay? 3
Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, Jalice would rule the world. But it doesn't so I don't.
Chapter 1:
Looking up from the game of chess I was having against Edward, I couldn't help smiling. My life was perfect. I had the greatest family anyone could ever ask for- the most loving husband in the world, five of the most metal siblings one could ever have the fortune of having (including Bella, obviously) and the kindest, most accepting parents in history. Plus, things will remain the same forever. Literally. Okay, you don't need Sherlock Holmes to tell you that Bella will be changed eventually (take that, Edward!), but that will only make things more perfect, right?
I giggled to myself when Edward gave a playful growl while I was thinking of Bella being changed, which caused Jazz to turn and look at us, confusion only too evident in his gorgeous, shining topaz eyes. Topaz. It seems like only yesterday that he was feeding off humans, a part of Maria's army. Then, that fateful day in the Philadelphia diner, where I finally managed to let him see the good side of our existence, finding the Cullens and… Eddie kicked me under the table. Okay, okay. Chillax, Mr Grumpy-Face.
Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to the game board. A few minutes later, I threw down my king and surrendered. I know that I can never win whilst playing against Edward. Why do I even bother?
Grumpy-Face Eddie smirked, "You know you love me, lil' sis". What the -?
"Gross, Edward. It's so extremely wrong for a hundred-year-old guy to read Gossip Girl!" I yelled. Big mistake. The moment the words left my mouth, I instantly regretted my mistake.
"GOSSIP GIRL?" Emmett squealed. "OMG OMG OMGEEE! I LURVE GG! I almost love it more than Ro- er… rabbits! Yes! Rabbits! Hahahahahahaha!" Rose glared at her beloved husband so hard that if she had only a fraction of Jane's power, he would be dead ten times over. I couldn't help rolling my eyes. I thought that I was the one who was in the psych ward? Edward laughed, not being able to disagree with my thoughts.
Smiling to myself, I skipped over the couch, settling down on Jazz's lap to watch Finding Nemo with the rest of the Cullen Clan. Just after Dory ran into Marlin, Bella came in, tripping on the carpet in the living room as always. As Eddie boy ran (over heroically, in my opinion) to save her, a vision hit me and I froze, just as Edward did when he read my mind. Shoot, shoot, shoot! WHY did we have to watch this movie? Jazz frowned softly at the tension that was radiating off Edward and I, but didn't say or ask anything. Oh well, he'd find out soon enough. I only hope he, or Bella, don't take it too hard.
Before long, almost too soon, actually, the dreaded time came. The shark scene. "Fish are friends, not food!" Bruce and his buddies proclaimed. Emmett, extremely stupid, brainless Emmett, just had to point out the stinging similarities. 'Humans are friends, not food!"he deafened all of us as he squished my Bella Barbie into almost-pulp. Then, it happened. The thick band of the goggles snapped back into Dory's face. A small yelp of pain. A "Dory, are you alright?". A tiny trickle of blood. And all hell broke loose.
Bruce, intoxicated by the overpowering scent of what he fought every waking second to resist, lunged at the two smaller fish, who were scared out of their wits. I sighed in sad remembrance of what happened not too long ago, as Bruce's friends tried, and almost failed, to hold him back back he snapped and thrashed around in the direction of where the 'food' swam off to. I felt Jasper bury his face in the nape of my neck as I saw Bella turn and cry into Edward's shirt. Carlisle wrapped an arm around a whimpering Esme while Emmett, obviously regretting what he had just said, clutched Rosalie's arm in sad anger. Rose, shockingly enough, was staring at the ceiling, blinking back non-existent tears while trying to act tough and non-caring.
A few hours later, after we had snapped out of our reverie, we started playing Battleships, me and Edward banned from playing thanks to our powers. Shortly later, Bella and Emmett surprisingly won against their lighter-haired siblings (Carlisle and Esme had excused themselves from the game and were watching on with the two of us outcasts.)
"That's it Edward. Stop favoring the human!" Rose yelled as she jumped out of her chair. Huh?
"Rose, calm down. I didn't help them cheat at all," Oh.
"Haha, very funny, brother. Then tell me how the hell they won? Huh?"
"Sore loser much, Rose?"
"EDWARD! You know how extremely bright Emmett is and your little human is human. How on earth could they win?"
"Hey! Stop insulting me!" Emmett joined in.
"Shut it Em!"
'Rose, he was facing you and Jasper. How could he have helped us in the first place?" Bella's voice seemed infinitely louder. But turns out that was just me.
"Keep it down, human. You don't belong here in the first place."
"ROSE!"
"What? She doesn't."
"She does too."
"Does not."
"Does too."
"Does not!"
"DOES TOO!" *Smash*
"EMMETT McCARTHEY CULLEN!"
"Ooops."
"Do you have even the slightest idea how fucking expensive that vase was and how fucking rare it is?" That shut everybody up. Since when did Esme- darling, sweet, quiet, soft-spoken, motherly Esme- curse out loud? "What?"
"It's nothing dear...," Carlisle breathed.
"Oh. Well I just did. And you had better start saving up and running around the continental USA to find me another vase, Mister, or you will be in deep, deep trouble. Understoo-" Esme's scolding was cut off by an extremely obnoxious
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
"What, Jake?" Bella hissed. Wow, I never knew she could be that harsh. But then again, who isn't with such a mutt? Eddie smirked a that's-my-girl smirk at Bells.
"You're coming over with Charlie later, right?"
"Yeah…"
"Great! Could you come around 7.30? Cuz Billy's still out fishing and by the time he comes back and I cook and-"
"The mutt can cook?" Emmett boomed as Bella glared at him. The dog sghed- almost too dramatically.
"You're at the crypt, aren't you?"
"Yeah, and soon she'll be at the pound," I muttered, making the vampires in my family snigger.
'Whatever, Bells. 7.30, my house. Oh, and ask your dad to bring some of that Vitamin R for Billy, 'kay?"
"Sure, sure. 7.30. Your house. Vitamin R. Got it." I knew that Edward was going to blow if I didn't do anything, and I didn't want to put Jazz through another of my brother's 'episodes' again. Relax, bro. What with Charlie- mere mortal and Chief of Police with a vengeance to exterminate all wolves- there, they would never dare to even try to show the slightest signs of phasing. I can't see her, of course, but it's kind of obvious, don't you think?Edward nodded in understanding as I 'spoke' to him. Then something clicked.
"Bella? Didn't you let people pick their ringtone when I bought you your new phone?" The whole family turned to look at Bella, who made a tomato seem pale in comparison to her flushed face.
"The mutt's gay!" Emmett cheered. "Hurrah, Eddie-Not-Yet-In-Beddie! He's not after you girl no more!"
"Don't you dare…"
"Dare what, baby sis?"
"Don't call Jake gay!"
"But… he… song…"
"IF HE'S GAY, WHY IS HE READY TO KILL EDWARD TO GET ME? HUH?"
Emmett sighed, and conceded defeat- and then came up with the most Emmett-like idea of all time. "Maybe… he's playing with you to eventually get to Eddie boy over here. He does have all eternity to try, you know… OUCH! What was that for?" he yelled as Edward and Rose hit him simultaneously.
Whoa. Some certain Mr. Grumpy-Face is definitely not going to be the happiest pappy bouncing around town tonight. *coughcoughEDWARDcoughcough* Wait a minute! "Pappy" sounds like puppy and puppies are baby dogs a.k.a. baby mutts, so does that mean that Ed's a… "ALICE! Shut up!" Wow. I never knew my dearest mind-reader brother would be that retarded to tell me to shut up when I was thinking something…
"What, what WHAAAAAT?"It's actually really hilarious how Emmett always keeps begging- and failing- to get involved in Edward's and my secret conversations. But just this time…
"I called him a Happy Pappy" I boasted proudly. For not the first time in his pea-brained life, Emmett had the same thought process as me.
"Hey! Pappy sounds like puppy! Edward's a mutt!" He yelled, causing the whole family to laugh and for Mr. Grumpy-Face to become Mr. Pissed-Off-Like-Hell Face. What? It's true? As I neatly dodged his punch, I gave him a mental sister of his sister and brother that nobody should ever have the misfortune of seeing. Growling at me, he led Bella back home. "And into the pound she goes," I mentally sang till Eddie was out of hearing range, then went upstairs with Jazz. *insert evil smile here*
So that's the prologue, and a peek into the happy and not-so-normal family life of the Cullens. :D
Loved it? Hated it? Wish I'd never been born? Please review! (no flames pls)