LINGERIE SHOPPING

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summary: Lingerie shopping wasn't something Sasuke was supposed to do—but that's what he got for ripping all of his fiancée's bras. "I hate having a fiancée that's stronger than me…" AU. CRACK. SasuSaku.

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author's note: This story's for RHC forums fanfiction contest. The prompt was Summer Vacation. I thought Sakura and Sasuke would have fun lingerie shopping over the summer vacation, right? – winkwink -

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The sun was shining and the birds were chirping happily… That was, until you could hear Haruno Sakura's screeching from anywhere in the world. If you zoomed in a bit, you could see Haruno Sakura pacing around the room, frustrated and her hands in her hair with an Uchiha Sasuke lying on their bed.

"UCHIHA FUCKING SASUKE! YOU TORE UP MY LAST FREAKING BRA BEFORE MY LAST ONE, YOU—YOU…" She growled. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! CAN YOU UNCLASP THE THING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!? ARE YOU THAT FUCKING IMPATIENT!?"

Sasuke sighed, running a hand through his hair. He wanted to block his ears right now, tune out his girlfriend of two years and now fiancée, but that would simply result in him getting in more trouble meaning that there would be more screaming.

"ARE YOU LISTENING, YOU BASTARD!? MY GOD, YOU'RE GOING LINGERIE SHOPPING WITH ME TODAY!"

He snapped his head towards her. "I am not going into a lingerie store."

Sakura's eyes flashed red. Not literally because only Sasuke's can do that, but she was beyond furious. Ever since she had moved in, sex was a general routine for them every night. But Sasuke, impatient as he was, would rip up her clothing instead of taking them off in a gentle manner. First her panties, then her bra, then her shirt—whatever she was wearing.

Now she was down to one freaking bra. She couldn't live with one bra. To make Sasuke pay, she was going lingerie shopping with him. Usually, she'd go with Ino because Sasuke is too much of a man to swallow up his pride and get in there with his girlfriend all the while receiving weird looks from people.

Well, it was Summer Vacation and Sakura and Sasuke were both staying at his apartment in Otogakure, which was a few hours away from Konohagakure.

They were both twenty-two; Sakura was a doctor of Konohagakure Hospital and Sasuke was, of course, working in the Uchiha corporation, alongside his father.

His brother had eloped with his wife. Sasuke guessed it was because he didn't want to succeed his father's business. It wasn't that Sasuke wanted to, but he wanted didn't mind either.

"YES, YOU ARE, AND WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX AGAIN TONIGHT BECAUSE I WILL LOSE ANOTHER PERFECTLY FINE, NEW BRA!" She screeched, her cheeks tainted pink with fury.

Sasuke was now lying on the very edge of the bed, his hand holding up his head as he stared at his fiancée. His other arm was loosely hanging off the bed, and he was staring at her with a bored gaze.

"Come here."

"NO! I WILL NOT COME OVER THERE SO YOU CAN SEDU—" She stopped her rant as he got off the bed, naked. He was getting too close, no… no—he was going to do his… his… THAT TRICK THING AGAIN, no, no— "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER SASUKE-KUN! I KNOW YOUR STUPID TRICK AND IT WON'T WORK ON ME, NO IT WO—"

His arms around wounded themselves around her waist from behind, his thing sticking hard and firm close to her buttocks. His head rested on her shoulder, slowly giving her butterfly kisses. "Shh…" He kissed her neck again. "Calm down…"

Slowly and gently, he started pulling them towards the bed. She fell against him and they both lied down. "Now sleep, Sakura, you need it." And hopefully, you'll forget about all of this and go lingerie shopping with Ino later.

"Okay…" She closed her eyes and snuggled up to Sasuke, his arm around her bare waist and his head buried in her hair. "When we wake up, you'll go lingerie shopping with me, okay? Promise me…!" She smiled and then it faded. "Or else you're seriously not getting any sex tonight."

Fuck.

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Sakura's eyes opened again. The light was still shining brightly through their curtained windows. With Sasuke's arms still wounded around her tightly, she moved slightly to catch a better view of the clock.

HOLY SHIT! She screamed in her head. It was five-thirty. All the stores closed at six because it was Sunday.

Quickly, she made a sudden, very sudden, move but got held back by Sasuke's really strong arms. "Don't go…" He mumbled.

"Sasuke-kun! Let go! It's five thirty! I HAVE TO GET MY LINGERIE TODAY. Let go…" She fumbled to get his hands off her waist. She wasn't succeeding, so she had to use a more painful method. She dug her nails into his skin, making him retreat with surprise. "COME ON. Get your ass out of bed and dress yourself."

He rolled over. "Nghn…." He groaned.

"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED NOW!" She screamed, yanking on his arm—the one not cushioning his head—and when he fell on the floor from her very strong yank, she simply left him there while laughing.

He simply growled—and glared, of course.

A few seconds later, without hearing any sound of getting up, Sakura poked her head out of the bathroom and stuck a tongue out at him. He continued glaring.

She laughed again—it was a melody to his ears—and then she walked over to him, yanking him up.

"Stop sulking, Sasuke-kun," She blinked. "I know it's hard having a girlfriend who's stronger than you," She smiled. "Because I am… and you have to swallow that male pride of yours," Her lips formed a pout. "But that's no reason to stay on the floor, glaring at the bathroom door—hair sprawled everywhere." She grinned. "You look like someone who got shot!"

Oh, he loved her ohsomuch.

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She had rushed them out of the house as quickly as possible. When they arrived at the mall, it was still alive with many people swarming around boutiques and stuff. The mall was packed.

But Sakura didn't care. Her hand intertwined with his, she dragged them to the lingerie store—Sound Lingerie—and smiled when it came into view.

Sasuke, when he was in front of it, planted his feet on the floor. She continued dragging but he wouldn't budge. She yanked, her face still set on the lingerie store, but he didn't budge at all. She yanked again—harder this time, but to no avail because he continued to be a stubborn mule. She turned and glared. A hiss escaped her lips, but he didn't seem disturbed by his fiancée's anger.

"We talked about this already, Sasuke-kun," She walked closer to him in a slow manner, as if to seduce him. When her face was in front of his, close enough for their noses to touch, a growl emitted from her throat, "You. Are. Coming."

And with a forceful yank, the hardest she could, he stumbled and into the store he went.

When he went in, his eyes widened and he gaped at how much freaking lingerie there was in this store. And there was one in practically every colour. There was one in neon yellow.

Did they want to blind their boyfriends/fiancés/husbands to death?

Sakura skipped happily around, picking up random bras of every colour that she thought would be nice. Pink polka dotted, black-and-white striped, multi-coloured rainbows and plain white/black/one-coloured ones.

Seriously—how many bras did a single girl need? And why did they need to be different patterns/colours/drawings? Why did they need to be creative? It's not like they need to be sexy during sex—hell, he thought without clothing, undergarments and all that jazz, Sakura would—is—the most beautiful woman in the world. And he didn't even start on the underwears, panties and thongs. Some—in his opinion—couldn't even considered being underwear. What did it cover? Absolutely nothing.

Talk about girls wasting money.

When Sasuke turned to Sakura, she saw her looking around—already having about two thousand bras in hand. Did he really rip that many? He doesn't think so.

He seriously needed to get out of here.

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When they got back to their rented house, she only had one bra in her bag. One. Oh, and, the stores didn't close at six today—at nine, like normal. So he got dragged and yanked around for nothing really.

"Sakura," He stated. "Didn't you say you were going buy many bras because I ripped all of them?"

"Yes, but…" She paused, looking up and putting her index finger on her lips. "You know what's your punishment for ripping them?"

"No," He wasn't sure he wanted to know. "What?"

"You're going lingerie shopping with me every single day of Summer Vacation so that I can buy one each day!" She exclaimed, giggling.

"WHAT!"

Oh, oh, oh. So Sasuke was going to spend Summer Vacation shopping for bras for his girlfriend…

Nice.

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author's note: Ehh. Sorry, Sasuke-chan! I still love youuu. It's not my fault you're extremely horny and want to get in your girlfriend's pants as soon as you're on the bed…That's what you get! Hehe.