In My Corner

Authors Note: This one is set post Yes Man and for obvious reasons is smut free; whilst I loved this episode I couldn't help but feel for Grant. The way that he was treated after this incident seemed harsh given that he was under a kind of compulsion. Lady Sif herself said that no man could resist her voice and touch. So I feel he needs some TLC.

He walks out of the cockpit feeling sick, he feels disgusted with himself. A part of him doesn't blame May he's not sure how he would have felt if the situation were reversed but... His skin crawls with revulsion; it feels itchy and dirty, so he makes his way to the bathroom. Turning on the shower he waits till the water is scolding hot, before yanking off his clothes and climbing in. The burn of the scalding water is cleansing and then he scrubs his skin till it's raw, desperately trying to wash the Asgaurdian bitch off him. He's really starting to hate those people, it seems every time he comes into contact with one he's violated in some way. Staying under the spray until the water runs cold he tries desperately to get her off him. But as clean as his skin is, he can't scrub her out of his mind. The things she made him do, the things he did willingly, the woman he nearly killed and the one he nearly forgot. Resting his head against the cool tiled wall of the shower he lets out a growl of frustration and then he can't help it. The rage he's fought to contain since he picked up that damn staff is seeping into his veins, his face contorts with anger and he pulls back his fist. Slamming it into the wall so hard he cracks one of the tiles, so numb is he that he doesn't even feel the knuckle he just popped.

He needs to calm down, deep down he knows this isn't helpful. Smashing up the bus that's already taken a hammering today will solve nothing, it won't ease his pain. That bitch had actually gotten off on the rage that plagued him, what kind of person does that? Climbing out he dry's off and dresses quickly he can't be alone right now, it's all far too fresh to deal with objectively. He had hoped to talk to May about it but it seemed that was no longer an option. Then he realises where he needs to be, who he needs to see. She will understand and even if she doesn't he knows she won't hold it against him. If she can forgive Mike Peterson then there's no way she'd hold this against him. He realises now he never should have turned her down that night at the bar. What he needs to soothe his ravaged soul is what only she can provide compassion and empathy. That's the thing about Skye pity is not her thing and she knows him to well to think he needs sympathy. He'd told her before under the influence of the staff that she talked too much, that she never stopped but she did stop. She did when she knew that he needed her to listen, to let him purge himself of all the bad memories he held onto.

His feet carry him straight to her, he passes Coulson in the corridor outside the med pod. The senior agent gives him a polite smile before heading to his office. Knocking on the door quietly he waits for her to call him in; she looks up from her laptop and waves him in.

"What's up S.O?" she asks lightly but he can see the concerned frown she wears.

"I just...I wanted to see you" he stammers, he's not good at the whole care and share. Luckily for him though Skye is excellent at reading people she pats a spot on the bed beside her. He sits beside her on the bed, hunched over.

"There's a lot of that going around tonight" she jokes to ease the tension in the room.

"Coulson?" he murmurs.

"It's nothing you need to worry about" she reassures him "so you look like hell" she states softly.

"I feel like hell" he admits.

"Not surprising you've had a tough time of it when it comes to Asguardians" she reasons "I hate that bitch!" she adds.

"You and me both" he mutters acidly.

"I know that Couslson said you keep your wits and everything but...Grant you know it's not your fault right? Whatever happened..." her fingers wrap around his hand and she squeezes, he closes his eyes as guilt burns his throat like bile. He has to tell her he doesn't know why but he has to get it out.

"I slept with her" the words tumble out of his mouth, his tone disgusted and then he waits, he waits so long he has to look up. He expects screaming or for her to hit him but she doesn't, she's thinking. He can see her mind ticking over as she absorbs his confession, her hand never leaves his. Her free hand finds his cheek; she runs her thumb across his stubble. He leans into her touch feeling warmth radiate outwards from the spot she strokes. Her gaze meets his and she holds it.

"Grant you were under her spell, whatever you did that wasn't you. She took your free will from you. Just because you could remember who you were doesn't change that. You said you'd never forgive Mike for not helping me" he nods his head remembering their earlier conversation "Well I will never forgive her for what she did to you. I hope Sif kicks her skanky ass all the way back to her cell" she understands just like he knew she would, he feels his body start to relax and his features soften. He feels like a weight has been lifted, just having one person listen and not blame him...he doesn't even know how to thank her, not that she'd let him.

"I think the others blame me" he says dejectedly.

"No they don't...it's just emotions are high and it's all so raw. This is...it's hard for them to know what to say. I mean you're big, tough Grant Ward they think that nothing can touch you. I know I call you robot and tin man but...Ward you have feelings and you are allowed to feel them. It's ok if you're angry or confused or lost. What she did to you it's a violation and I've never wanted to hurt someone like I want to hurt her" she's full of fire, pissed on his behalf.

He sighs "I still don't know how I feel" he admits.

She nods "That's OK too, look whatever's been going on between you and May that's not my business. But I hope you're not just my S.O. I hope that we're at least friends. I told you before you have my shoulder, there's no expiration on that. You know you can talk to me whenever you need to" he nods swallowing past an unfamiliar emotion.

"At least I've got you in my corner" his smile is small but it's there and she returns it like she always does. He loves her smile it's like looking at the sun, she's warmth and light and he needs that right now.

"You'll always have me in your corner, not going anywhere" she teases. She tries and fails to stifle a yawn; having two Asgaurdian warriors duking it out above your head probably isn't conducive to rest.

"I should let you rest" he looks at their still joined hands really not wanting to break contact. May was right he hadn't been honest with himself now was not the time to think about that not when his emotions were so turbulent but he really just wanted to be near her.

"Grant you don't have to go...I mean you can stay...If you want" she's nervous probably because the last time she offered he pushed her away.

"Are you sure?" he's hopeful, he really doesn't want to be alone. She nods climbing under the covers holding them open for him. He slips in beside her, they're spooning he wraps his arm around her waist and flinches. The knuckle he'd popped earlier throbs painfully, he hopes she doesn't notice but of course she does.

"Are you hurt?" her voice is full of concern.

"It's just my knuckle" he shrugs then adds "I punched a wall, it was stupid"

"If I'd had a day like yours I think I'd be punching a few walls too" she soothes, she lifts his injured hand up and examines it. He's bruised but she doesn't push him to see Simmons about it. Instead she kisses his injured knuckle tenderly as if she can kiss his pain away. He wishes it were that easy but he knows it's not. He would never lay that responsibility on her; he knows he needs to work through this himself. Having her near though, knowing she cares that she doesn't blame him, it makes it bearable. He hugs her close; she strokes soothing circles into his forearm. They lie like this for a long time, her breathing is slow and steady it's comforting especially since he'd spent a long time watching her fight for her life not too long ago.

"Skye" he whispers because he's not sure if she's still awake.

"Hmmm" she mumbles sleepily.

"Thanks" his voice is so quiet he's not sure she's heard him but then she turns, her eyes barely open and lays her head on his chest.

"SssOK" and that's the last thing she says as they both drift off to sleep.