Summary: One-shots thrown together. Mainly NorIce. May contain one-sided DenNor and SLIGHT IceSey. Mostly just crack, though.
A/N: I don't know what I'm doing anymore. WHAT IS THIS? I had already written 1-3, which is why I decided to just shove them into one document together, before I started the second chapter of HTWAT, so I figured I'd 'finish' this (AKA: add everything I possibly can before I get tired of it). Posting right before I sleep usually does not bode well, and yet I do it anyway.
...
...
The rose is red, the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet, and so are you.
Thou are my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you
...
...
1.
He was high, so high in the sky he was floating, flying through the dark night sky whose fabric was broken only by shining stars reflecting a bright future, the ride exhilerating and exciting, always promising something new and wonderful. That was how he felt when he got too close to Norway, and it scared him. It was so (right) wrong, but he couldn't stop the way his heart skipped a beat when he saw the blond or when he teased him with such fleeting touches that made him want more or when Norway smiled, an event of such rarity every single occasion was catalogued in Iceland's mind.
The first time he'd seen Norway smile was when they first met and Norway picked him up, realizing he was a country, and his gaze had been so soft back then, uncommon on his visage, tranquil and seeming to have finally found what he'd been looking for. It was a memory that stood stark and honest in his head, still vivid despite the centuries that had passed―perhaps his clearest remembrance.
Iceland tilted his head slightly to rest lightly on Norway's shoulder, and he would say it was accidental, if need be. When Norway didn't pause in his comment to Denmark and failed to make a move to push him off, Iceland let out a small puff of breath, trying not to smile contentedly. It would be too obvious, then, and that just couldn't happen, but it was just too easy to let his lips quirk upward.
Finland looked away from having an almost one-sided chat with Sweden to inspect Iceland critically with narrowed eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked, not because he was concerned, but because it was obvious that Iceland liked the way he was positioned on the sofa (possibly having to do with Norway), and that in itself was strange. Iceland didn't usually let his emotions slip out, preferring to keep them locked inside until they spilled over.
A small yawn escaped the silver-haired boy's lips, and a light pink hue appeared on his cheeks, reminding Finland why it was said that Icelandic people are the most beautiful of the Nordics. "I'm fine," Iceland assured him (because how could he tell him he was experiencing a very forbidden form of love?).
Finland's eyes widened as a figurative light bulb flashed above his head. "You're in love, aren't you?" His innocent question silenced the room instantly; Denmark stopped mid-sentence, turning from his spot on the arm of the green cushioned chair to stare at the teenager, like everyone else was doing, awaiting an answer.
Iceland's face flushed from the attention, and he jerked his head away from his brother, quietly mourning the loss of his moment. "I, um, uh," he began eloquently, and then stopped, hesitating. Could he tell them? They would surely ask who. He couldn't tell them the truth! Before he knew it, he was murmuring, "Yes," and immediately cursed his traitorous voice box.
"Who is it?" Denmark asked eagerly, blue eyes shining brightly in curiosity. "Is it Seychelles? Liechtenstein?" There was a beat of silence, and then, incredulously, "Belarus?"
Iceland threw a pillow at him.
2.
Iceland's eyes were cold as they glared down at the Dane, hand unwavering as he brought the blade to his neck. "Give him to me," he ordered evenly, other hand held out strangely beseechingly.
Denmark's smile was frozen in place. "Nice try, Ice." He tightened his grip on Norway, ignoring the chill of the steel against his throat. "You wouldn't want my blood all over him, would you?"
"Truth be told," Iceland murmured, not budging an inch, "it wouldn't matter at this point." He adopted a look reminiscent of a Viking, and though his visage was unsmiling and unamused, it was almost funny. "Give me my brother." His sword hand did not shake, but his free hand trembled minutely as he made a gesture to reiterate his command.
Denmark shook his head slightly, a vague smirk playing on his lips. "And if I don't?"
"Then I suppose I'll have to kill you."
It was uttered so tonelessly, so matter-of-fact, that Denmark's eyes widened as he looked at his former charge in a whole new light. The change was nearly imperceptible; violet eyes were narrowed in anger and possessiveness, jaw tightened in a show of restraint, and his frame quivered, clearly suppressing the overwhelming urge to knock Denmark out of the way to snatch the unconscious blond out of his arms. "You're not kidding," he realized out loud, noticing for the very first time. Had he been serious all the other times too, when he woke up with his sibling's name on his lips and when he defended him against all those nasty comments the Dane had made once upon a time and when he spoke comfortingly of the blue-eyed man they had both grown to love, soothing Denmark's stressed nerves and his loneliness and sense of betrayal? "What is he to you?"
Iceland inhaled sharply, and lowered his weapon just slightly. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "He's the world to me," he finally whispered sincerely, embarrassment and perhaps shame coloring his face. "He is my everything, and you're taking him from me."
Denmark winced, shocked at how truly heartbroken the white-haired male sounded. He asked himself if he would sound like that, had he been in Iceland's position, and received no answer, though a little voice in his head taunted, No, no, you wouldn't, you would get over yourself quickly, it's just like the dissolution of Denmark-Norway. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it when he saw Iceland's shoulders shudder, and he knew that the boy was crying without needing to look at his face.
"He makes me happy," Iceland said shakily, drawing his sword away lest he accidentally cut either man in front of him. "Happier than I've ever been."
A snippet of a song entered the blond's head. Please don't take my sunshine away... Had Denmark felt this heart-wrenching, tear-jerking sadness before? Wasn't that what he had felt when Norway left him? Why did he feel so empty all of a sudden? He couldn't possibly be sympathizing with his rival. God, he just realized that Iceland was talking more in five minutes than he usually did in a day. Was he honestly that serious about his feelings?
Denmark shook his head slowly, more at his thoughts than the boy's (for that's what he was, no matter how you looked at him) words. Not even he could distinguish what was truth and what was just what he wanted to believe. He actually felt guilty. Going soft in old age sucked. He swallowed hard and did not allow himself to think as he thrust Norway's limp body forward. "Take him," he commanded, "before I change my mind."
Iceland hastily wiped his eyes and crouched down, brushing his brother's fair hair out of his face before taking him gently from Denmark's arms to hold him, bridal style. The tenderness of the actions surprised Denmark, showing him, once again, that Iceland's emotions ran deeper than he first thought.
He mustered a smile―a mighty feat, considering the circumstance―and reminded, "True love's first kiss, Ice."
3.
Having to share one bed was hard; being forced to share it (damn Denmark, damn him hard and well) with your brother―with whom you can't even speak casually to―was so hard, there were no words able to measure the difficulty of the predicament. Iceland cursed every higher being that would listen. Was it funny, he thought angrily, pulling on his pajama pants, to set siblings in a single king-sized bed like it was a stupid romantic comedy show?
He sat down with a huff, reaching for his copy of A Child Called It, and leaned against his very fluffed pillows. He would read until his eyelids drooped and by then, Norway would be there, and they probably wouldn't even whisper a goodnight to each other. It was a rather sad situation, really.
He gave up at Chapter 4 and set it down on his dresser just as Norway entered the room. He glanced at him, noticing his vaguely irritated expression, and asked cautiously, "Are you okay?"
Norway froze, clearly not expecting the question let alone anything at all. "I'm fine," he answered in a clipped tone, not looking at him, ending the discussion with ease.
Iceland sighed, sliding down in the covers, and turned on his side. He almost missed the days where they were as close as could be; there hadn't been much awkwardness when he was but a child and Norway his protector. At least, he couldn't remember there being any, but that could just be his faulty memory. He didn't particularly like dwelling on the past.
He had almost drifted to sleep when Norway slid into the opposite side of the bed, as far away from as possible. Silence reigned supreme for a while until Iceland's urge to turn was too great and he finally gave in, rolling over a bit so he faced Norway. His eyes half-lidded, he observed his brother, who was, coincidentally, facing him... His face heated up in embarrassment when he noticed Norway's eyes opened. "I-I wasn't staring at you," he proclaimed lowly in an attempt to keep his dignity. "I was just..." His voice trailed off, unable to find an excuse.
With a sigh, Norway scooted closer, wrapping an arm around him. "Hush," he murmured, ignoring Iceland's squeal of disapproval and pressed him lightly against his chest. When there was no more protest, he closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.
Iceland pressed his face against his shirt (unintentionally!), inhaling his scent. It was of mountain mist and biting cold and summer days and the chill of the stormy sea. It was something sweet and cloying, though it could, perhaps, be the remains of a cologne, though he didn't think Norway was a cologne type of person.
He allowed himself to smile, knowing that it would not be seen.
4.
Iceland's place was a very popular place when he decided to sing. He didn't (usually) know how many people, exactly, watched him, but it was decidedly creepy to know that dozens of nations peered in through his windows (and sometimes actually sat on his couch).
"I miss the sound of your voice," Iceland nearly whispered, "and I miss the rush of your skin, and I miss the still of the silence, 'cause you breath out, and I breathe in..." He turned away from the window, mildly scared of what view he was giving him. It was either his face or his ass. Goddammit.
"If I could walk on water, if I could tell you what's next, make you believe, make you forget..." He started to get into it. "So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire with the swing of your hips, just to pull me down hard, and drown me in love! So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire with a swing of your hips, just to pull me down hard, and drown me in love!"
Hungary could barely suppress a squeal when he started shaking his hips, knowing he was doing it for them. She was so glad she had remembered to bring her video camera.
"I miss the sound of your voice... The loudest thing in my head... And I hate to remember all the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said," he crooned. "If I could walk on water, if I could tell you what's next, make you believe, I'd make you forget... So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire with a swing of your hips, just to pull me down hard, and drown me in love~ So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire with a swing of your hips, just to pull me down hard, and drown me in love~"
Norway couldn't look away from the sight. Denmark nudged him in the arm. "Enjoying the view, Norge?" he snickered.
The blond smacked him.
"I miss the pull of your heart―I can taste the sparks on your tongue―and I see angels and devils, and God, when you come on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on~! Sing sha-la-la-la... Sing sha-la-la-la~"
Seychelles almost screamed. Who knew a kid like that would have a voice like, well, that? She found herself fervently hoping he'd serenade her one day.
(Somewhere around here, Denmark made a joke about Norway popping a boner. The announcement was neither confirmed nor denied.)
Turkey rubbed his stubble, a smirk playing on his lips. Hmph, he may not be an empire anymore, but the teenager would have made a worthy conquest. He would have been a good gypsy. Or perhaps a bard? Either way, his skills would have been envied, and the Ottoman Empire would have been very, very pleased.
Iceland finished the song with gusto, and turned to open the window, raising an eyebrow at his audience. "This is really creepy, guys," he informed them off-handedly. "It would be pretty funny to see country representatives in jail."
"'Iceland locks nations up', the tabloids would say," America mused. "'Could potentially start World War III. Take the wives and children and run before Iceland unleashes that volcano again.'"
England let out a bark of laughter. "Beginning a war over trespassing? That's absurd."
"L'amour is in the air!" France announced teasingly, waving a rose in the air before tossing it lightly to Iceland. "For your love," he explained with a smirk at the white-haired boy's expression. "I assume they are here, for you opted not to sing 'Hey Soul Sister' this time."
"It's a catchy song!" Iceland defended, flushing in embarrassment.
"At least he didn't break out in 'My Best Friend's Hot'," Lithuania commented.
Poland gasped, latching onto his friend's arm. "Like, no way! I, like, totally love it when he, like, sings that one!"
"The feelings he conveys in each song is truly astounding," Japan offered.
"It is, aru," China agreed.
Russia simply 'kolkolkol'ed.
Iceland stared at them for a moment before slamming the window shut. He drew the curtains for good measure. Why did everyone he knew have to be so crazy?
5.
seychelles101 signed on
puffinlicorice signed on
seychelles101: ICELAND ICELAND ICELAND
puffinlicorice: Yes...?
seychelles101: I CHALLENGE YOU
seychelles101: TO A D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL
puffinlicorice: ... did you seriously just say that
seychelles101: Oh, shut up. You know it's the best idea ever.
seychelles101: Just like how I'm the better island.
puffinlicorice: I could perhaps agree with your first statement, but your second?
puffinlicorice: Everyone knows Iceland is better.
seychelles101: HA.
seychelles101: They don't call my place the 'last paradise' for nothing!
puffinlicorice: You're just unwilling to admit defeat.
seychelles101: SEYCHELLES
seychelles101: IS
seychelles101: BETTER
seychelles101: AND THAT IS THAT.
puffinlicorice: NO
puffinlicorice: NO
puffinlicorice: YOU FOOL
puffinlicorice: IT IS OBVIOUS
puffinlicorice: THAT I AM, IN FACT, THE WINNER
seychelles101: LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE DENIAL
puffinlicorice: THE ONLY DENIAL I HEAR IS YOURS
seychelles101: LALALALALAAAAA
seychelles101: HERE'S A LLAMA
puffinlicorice: NO DON'T EVEN
seychelles101: THERE'S A LLAMA
puffinlicorice: NOOOOOO
seychelles101: AND ANOTHER LITTLE LLAMA
puffinlicorice: WHY DO YOU DO THISSSSS
seychelles101: FUZZY LLAMA
seychelles101: FUNNY LLAMA
puffinlicorice: YOU FINISH THAT
puffinlicorice: AND I START WORLD WAR III
seychelles101: LLAMA
seychelles101: LLAMA
puffinlicorice: STOP RIGHT NOW
seychelles101: DUCK
puffinlicorice: THAT'S IT
puffinlicorice: SONG-OFF
seychelles101: YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THAT WITH ME, ICE?
puffinlicorice: RIGHT HERE
puffinlicorice: RIGHT NOW
puffinlicorice: UNLESS YOU'RE TOO SCARED?
seychelles101: ...
seychelles101: you're on
puffinlicorice: IT'S BEEN ONE WEEK
seychelles101: I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU
puffinlicorice: SINCE YOU LOOKED AT ME
puffinlicorice: COCKED YOUR HEAD TO THE SIDE
seychelles101: THERE'S NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO
puffinlicorice: AND SAID, "I'M ANGRY"
puffinlicorice: FIVE DAYS SINCE YOU LAUGHED AT ME
seychelles101: SNUGGLE, CUDDLE, AND THEN HUG ME
puffinlicorice: SAYING
seychelles101: WITH YOU, I ALWAYS WANT TO BE
puffinlicorice: "GET THAT TOGETHER, COME BACK AND SEE ME"
seychelles101: HEEEEEEEEEY SOUL SISTER
puffinlicorice: BABY BABY BABY NOOOOO
seychelles101: AIN'T THAT MISTER MISTER ON THE RADIO STEREO
puffinlicorice: I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD
puffinlicorice: SHINING, SHIMMERING, SPLENDID
seychelles101: THE WAY YOU MOVE AIN'T FAIR, YOU KNOW
seychelles101: stop typing fast omg
puffinlicorice: TELL ME, PRINCESS, NOW WHEN DID YOU LAST LET YOUR HEART DECIIIIDE?
puffinlicorice: does this mean you forfeit
seychelles101: HEY SOUL SISTER
seychelles101: stop twisting my words around!
puffinlicorice: MMHMM
puffinlicorice: THAT IS CLEARLY DEFEAT
puffinlicorice: WE CLEARLY HAVE A WINNER!
seychelles101: OMG ICELAND SHUT UP
seychelles101: I DIDN'T THROW IN THE TOWEL
seychelles101: SO GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE AND FINISH THIS DUEL!
puffinlicorice: HEH.
puffinlicorice: I CAN OPEN YOUR EYES
puffinlicorice: TAKE YOU WONDER BY WONDER
puffinlicorice: OVER, SIDEWAYS, AND UNDER ON A MAGIC CARPET RIDE
seychelles101: ... you took advantage of me getting toast!
puffinlicorice: How was I supposed to know you were making toast?
seychelles101: NORWAY'S A PSYCHIC
seychelles101: OBVIOUSLY
puffinlicorice: And what does that have to do with me, again...?
seychelles101: He's probably right beside you, helping you CHEAT
seychelles101: oh man that sounds kinda wrong
puffinlicorice: ...
puffinlicorice: I never would've taken you as that sort of girl, Seychelles.
seychelles101: WHAT
seychelles101: gvjhcjh
seychelles101: I
seychelles101: I'M NOT
seychelles101: I WAS JUST SAYING
puffinlicorice: mmhmm.
puffinlicorice: riiiiight.
puffinlicorice: As compensation for that dirty imagination of yours, I will take my victory.
puffinlicorice: It's only fair.
seychelles101: ...
seychelles101: I hate you
seychelles101: SO MUCH
seychelles101: RE-MATCH, YOU CHEATING SON OF A GUN!
puffinlicorice: fine
seychelles101: SHA-LA-LA-LA, KISS THE GIRL
puffinlicorice: iyiyi
puffinlicorice: missing you missing you
seychelles101: ...
seychelles101: you
seychelles101: did not just use Cody Simpson against me
puffinlicorice: I did.
seychelles101: everyone knows Cody Simpson wins automatically
seychelles101: THUS, YOU ARE
seychelles101: A
seychelles101: CHEATING
seychelles101: BROTHER
puffinlicorice: don't you dare finish that sentence
puffinlicorice: I will murder you
puffinlicorice: And the WWIII won't just be a threat
puffinlicorice: It'll be a promise
seychelles101: MMHMM, RIGHT.
seychelles101: I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
puffinlicorice: ... what
seychelles101: In the event of World War III, you're planning to be the new Russia by claiming other countries' territories, starting with mine!
puffinlicorice: ...
puffinlicorice: uh
puffinlicorice: sure
puffinlicorice: let's go with that
puffinlicorice: kolkolkol
seychelles101: Nah, it would be more like "PUFFINPUFFINPUFFIN"
puffinlicorice: are you MOCKING me, girl?
seychelles101: so what if I am?
puffinlicorice: WORLD WAR III
seychelles101: NEW RUSSIA
puffinlicorice: oh wait
puffinlicorice: Finland's making me get off to check this package
puffinlicorice: if it's more gangster clothes that make Norway and I seem totally gay, I'm killing you
seychelles101: ha
seychelles101: I promise it's not from me this time
puffinlicorice: it better not be
seychelles101: see you later, Ice!
seychelles101: WAIT A SEC
seychelles101: YOU NEVER PROVED ME WRONG ABOUT MY MIND PROCESSES
puffinlicorice: UH
seychelles101: Is there something I need to KNOW, Iceland?
puffinlicorice: UH
puffinlicorice: UM
puffinlicorice: SEE YOU LATER BYE
puffinlicorice signed off
seychelles101: DAMMIT ICELAND
6.
His dear pseudo-brother always told him that if you wanted something done, you should do it yourself. Never leave it to fate, he said. Iceland took the lesson to heart: if he left it to fate, it would most likely arrive too late, and then what would he do? He wasn't in favor of allowing his heart to be broken by some destiny nonsense. Then again, he didn't much like the thought of actually taking action.
Oh, the woes of unwilling love.
He tapped his fingers on the table, watching Norway and Denmark play a video game. How the Dane had coerced the Norwegian into playing, he didn't know. He probably didn't particularly want to find out, anyway. Denmark did some weird things to get Norway to do stuff with him. He remembered when Denmark threatened to blow him―him as in Iceland―and Norway hastily complied with that particular hare-brained scheme.
Well, it wasn't really that bad this time. Denmark just wanted to be challenged. Finland was too good, Sweden wouldn't even touch the game, and Iceland just didn't want to play, so he chose Norway to be his reluctant victim.
Denmark crowed in delight as he got ahead of his friend; it quickly turned into a groan when Norway passed him. "Ice, Ice," he whined, "distract Norge, and I won't look in your mail anymore."
Iceland thought about that. Denmark had the unfortunate habit of snooping on people's business, delighting in reading letters. The last one he had read was from Liechtenstein, and he had declared that she was in love with him. When the white-haired nation had managed to get the paper, it said nothing of the sort; it merely asked for him to join her and her brother for tea sometime, as she felt in him a kindred spirit. (They definitely didn't bond over knitting. Just so you know.)
He got off his chair and walked over to the couch, where he plopped down near Norway, who was on the floor. He pulled his legs up and scooted over so he was behind his sibling. He began playing with the flaxen hair, faintly amused by the lack of reaction.
"Betrayed by your own flesh and blood," Denmark declared with a smirk, glancing at Norway. "Aw, man―come on! You're playing better! Dammit, Ice, I said distract him, not mess with his hair!"
Norway rolled his eyes. "Quiet, you."
"Do something more extreme," Finland suggested from the kitchen.
Denmark nodded, angling himself and his controller in an attempt to get ahead of Norway. "Yeah! Something really extreme!"
Norway slugged him in the arm.
"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT LOSE?"
Iceland tilted his head to the side slightly, contemplating that. His mind, of course, explored all the dirty things he could possibly do. His cheeks taking on a rosy hue, he leaned forward, arms coming to rest loosely on either side of Norway's neck. "Norway," he breathed in his ear, conjuring the best moan he could realistically make. "Oh, Norway, Norway..."
Norway refused to acknowledge it, but his hands shook just the tiniest bit. He fought down a blush. Of all the things Iceland could have done, he had to choose that approach. "O, apple of my eye, take me now, dearest." He kept it light―well, as light as he could in such a serious voice, anyway.
Iceland laughed, cocking his head to nuzzle his neck, arms shifting to grip his shoulders. "O-onii-chan~!"
At that moment, Norway could have died happy. He truly did enjoy having his former charge call him that endearing term. To have it gasped like Iceland was so fond of doing, however, was almost more than he could handle. (In other words, if he were anyone else, he would have jumped Iceland's bones by then.)
Denmark gaped as Norway won the game. He turned to stare at them. "Your flirting is obscene," he said blankly. "I hate both of you. Iceland, you suck at distractions. Norway, you just suck in general."
Norway raised an eyebrow. "Is it not you that does it on a regular basis, or am I mistaking those sounds as something else?"
Iceland choked at that. "WHAT?"
"I..." Denmark gawked. He really couldn't think of a comeback. "I hate you so much right now."
"Yeah, yeah." Norway waved his hand dismissively.
7.
"I was sitting on my window-seat, just staring into the sea, when suddenly, it struck me. Norway's relatively close. Why not try to pool noodle across? So, I grabbed my pool noodle, my tacos, and my puffin, and I was out the door. I was forced to overcome obstacles such as flying whales and vegan dinosaurs. A three-legged unicorn stole Mr. Puffin, and so I had to find a unicycle to get him back. Then these kids with floaties came out of NOWHERE and challenged me to a duel! This isn't Pokemon! Once I got past them, I found a magical leopluradon that guided me to some shitty Nutella Monsters, whom I quickly defeated. Paddling forth, I discovered polar bears tap-dancing on blocks of ice. They were pretty good entertainment."
He took a deep breath.
"And then I had to rush past the pecan machine of doom and then I got shipwrecked and I swear I saw Davy Jones' Locker for a second. I guess I fainted. When I woke up, I was here, and someone ate my tacos."
Norway stared at him. "That... was exciting," he managed, utterly confounded. What exactly does a person say after someone tells them a tale like that? It was completely ridiculous.
Iceland nodded, taking his sibling's bottle of water. "Yeah."
They agreed silently to embellish the story before recounting it to Denmark. It was fun brother-bonding time.