Title: Mistaken Bedfellows
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Just when HRG thought he had every reason in the world to kill Sylar, Sylar gives him one more.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Heroes is not owned by me, but by Tim Kring. I'm simply borrowing these characters for non-profit entertainment.
A/N: Pure crack! I know, I don't do NEARLY enough, but when this came to me there was no way I could, or would, ignore it.
Sylar climbed into the warm bed with a contented sigh. It was good to be back, back in a soft bed, in a nice home, next to her again, finally able to fall asleep with his lover snuggled against him.
Well, at least he thought it was her bed and that this was her.
Too bad he had been too tired to remember just which room was hers. He had been gone for a few months after all and it was three in the morning and he had been awake for the last forty-eight hours.
"I didn't think you'd be back until morning," the blonde sighed as she brought her arm to Sylar's and held him closer.
"I didn't want to make you wait any longer," Sylar replied before moving the blonde curls out of his way and placing a tender kiss on the woman's neck.
"That is so sweet of you," came her sleepy reply.
It was then it began to add up. That voice. That wasn't Claire's voice. Claire's voice wasn't that deep, or have a hint of a Southern accent. And Claire wasn't this tall he realized as the woman's leg brushed his. And Claire was slimmer. And she molded perfectly to his body when he would spoon her. This woman didn't.
Oh God.
Mentally he tried to retrace his steps, counting how many rooms he had passed when he reached the top of the stairs. Instantly he knew he had gone too far. Her room was the one before the one he had happened into.
"Goodnight, Noah," Sandra sighed a moment later as she nuzzled into the man she believed to be her husband and obviously not her daughter's lover.
Just as Sylar noticed she was relaxing, beginning to fall back asleep, he tried to slip out of her grasp. He knew he had to get out there fast, but he couldn't risk her knowing. He had to get out before -
He heard the click of a safety being taken off of a gun the second his feet hit the carpeted floor. It was unmistakable. Bennet was home. Quickly Sylar found himself thinking if he was lucky Noah would think he was just some random pervert. He really wasn't up for a fight right now and he knew he would never hear the end of it if Claire found out. Either she would accuse him of trying to seduce her mother or she would be laughing at him for the rest of eternity.
"Stay where you are and keep your hands where I can see them," Noah ordered. It wouldn't be the first time he had used the cop routine and at the same time there was a stranger in his home, in his bedroom, beside his wife. He had every right to protect himself and his family.
"Noah?" Sandra asked, turning her attention to the man beside the bed and then to him in the doorway.
"Sandra, come over to me," he told her cautiously, keeping his gaze on the man he couldn't yet tell was Sylar.
"What's going on? Who are you?" Sandra asked.
"Sandra -"
"Or for the love of -" she scoffed before turning on the light. The man hadn't spoken and surely hadn't tried to hurt anyone so she figured it couldn't hurt to see the face of the man in her bedroom.
For the first time in his life Sylar thought he just might die of embarrassment. He had just been caught in bed with Noah's wife, Claire's mother. And he hadn't even meant to be in that bed, or that room. He had been there for Claire. In a perfect world they would be in her bed right then, happily asleep, post-coital even if he'd had the strength. But no. He was life's bitch and now life was proving it to him yet again.
"Hi, Noah," he grinned through the humiliation.
Noah didn't even think, simply pulled the trigger and sent nearly his full round into Sylar's chest.
The sound was loud enough to wake both Lyle and Claire. Both of whom appeared in the doorway beside their parents. Claire first.
"Dad, what are you - ?"
"It's not what it looks like," Sylar stated as he stood, his wounds quickly healing. True Noah knew he would heal, but he didn't care. That wasn't the point.
"It doesn't look like you were in bed with my wife?" he growled. What hadn't he taken from him? How long had he - Noah couldn't even finish the thought.
"Sylar?" Claire asked, trying to keep from laughing at the situation.
"Will you tell that gun-wielding maniac to stop shooting me?! He keeps ruining my best shirts," Sylar went on when his eyes found hers.
"Right, because you don't have enough black button-downs," she laughed.
"Oh man, this is classic!" Lyle laughed.
By then Claire was only laughing harder as Noah raised his gun again. "Dad, stop, I don't think he was here for Mom. Though if there's something you'd like to tell me," she laughed again as she looked back to Sylar.
"Do I look like a romancer of the elderly?" he snapped. "No offence," he added to Sandra.
"None taken," she replied with a roll of her eyes.
Claire stepped between her family then, finally moving closer to Sylar. "You and your entrances."
"This one wasn't planned."
"Come on," she told him, taking his hand.
"Claire," Noah stated.
Claire sighed then. She knew the secret was out. "Sylar was here for me. I'm guessing he thought it was my bed -"
"Thanks, Claire," he sarcastically sighed.
"Is that true?" Sandra asked.
"Yes," Sylar answered. "I wanted to surprise her. I just hadn't hoped it'd be like this."
"Why would you be climbing into my daughter's bed in the middle of the night?" Noah asked as they stepped out into the hallway. He wasn't sure he wanted the answer, but it was too late now.
"One of the exact reasons you wouldn't want it to be," Claire answered with a slight smile as she led Sylar to her room.
"Takes all kinds, Noah," Sylar quietly added with a smirk.
For that the older man was ready to shoot him on principal.
"You're just going to let her take that monster into her room?" Noah snapped at his wife as the door to their daughter's room closed.
Sandra laughed. "If it's what she wants there's not much we can do. She's eighteen, Noah. She's going to college soon, the last thing she needs is to feel even more stifled than she already does."
"And you're not just saying that because you shared a bed with him too?"
"No," she laughed.
Noah holstered his gun and moved to the bed with a sigh. In an act of the only revenge he could think of, he tore the sheets from the bed and bundled them into his arms. Maybe he couldn't stop Sylar from sleeping with his daughter, maybe he couldn't forget this night no matter how hard he tried, maybe he couldn't kill Sylar and actually have him stay dead, but he refused to sleep in a bed Sylar had tainted with his mere presence.
"What are you doing now?" Sandra asked, wondering if she was even allowed to go back to sleep after this.
"Burning these," was all Noah said before he walked passed her and headed down the stairs.
The End