Disclaimer: Hellsing is Hirano's, not mine.
A/N: In an interview, Hirano said that Heinkel is "neither a man or a woman." I don't know if the statement was serious (He did refer to Heinkel as "she" in notes in Volume 5, so I'm somewhat skeptical) but it did inspire this.
Although most pagan mythology was little more than a source of derision for Heinkel, there was one story that had caught her fancy. A child of Zeus, Agdistis was born a hermaphrodite. Possessing both male and female sex organs, Agdistis's body contained all the powers of creation. The gods were fearful of such a mighty being and emasculated it. The male organ had been buried, and in that spot had sprung an almond tree. There were other versions, but that was the one that had stayed with Heinkel the most.
Heinkel couldn't remember her parents. She was too young when she came under the care of the church's orphanage system to have clear memories of a life preceding it. She wasn't even sure if they were truly dead, or if they had simply abandoned their child. If they had, however, she thought she had a very good idea why.
She hadn't been like other girls.
In fact, what was beneath her trousers seemed to suggest that "she" was not a girl at all. Yet neither was it truly suggestive of a boy, although it appeared more masculine than feminine to her.
She had been placed with the boys at first. He had played and fought as they did, and could throw a punch as hard as any of them. Looking at the other children when they were in states of undress was discouraged, of course, so he had never really been able to compare anatomy in detail. He had always known, however, that he wasn't the same as they. Still, he had fully believed that he might one day grow out of the slightly girlish appearance, and become a real man.
Puberty had been a cruel surprise when his hips grew broader and his breasts swelled. Yet never would he have all of the functions of the fairer sex. Even without the vows he would eventually take, he couldn't imagine revealing himself to another, and didn't believe such activities physically possible for him. Soon enough, he'd been moved to be with the girls (for his own protection, they said), and people began to use feminine pronouns in reference to the budding young "woman."
Heinkel had learned to minimize her bodily attributes with loose-fitting clothing. She relished the deepened voice that came as a side effect of smoking, and she was sure the more Freudian in mind could suggest a few theories concerning her weapon preference. Her dream of true priesthood was never fulfilled, but the atypical position of Iscariot allowed for the bending of certain rules, such as dress code.
She/he lived on the border between two nations and could never completely immigrate to either. Like Agdistis, Heinkel was incomplete and had to wonder if, somewhere, her true power lay buried.