The night air blew through the trees leaving a cool chill in its wake. Casey Cartwright stood on the back porch of her family's home in Chicago and watched the leaves on the trees sway with the wind.

The peacefulness of her surroundings, however, did nothing to relieve the turmoil that coiled itself deep inside her and made sleeping an impossible feat. She glanced just inside the door to the table that held her cell phone and fought against the urge to run inside and grab it. She needed someone, not that that was anything new for her. She felt like she was always needing someone. How had she become such a mess ? How had all her plans fallen apart the way they had ? She still wasn't sure exactly what she was doing.

You're hiding, you idiot, she thought to herself.

And of course she was right. The great fearless, Casey Cartwright, the girl who always went after what she wanted, who never backed down from a fight, who never let fear dictate her course of action, was hiding like a scared little girl who had run home to her Mommy and Daddy the second things got hard for her.

She sighed scornfully at herself as the thoughts turned over in her head. But she hadn't seen any other solution to the problems at hand. Graduation had left her with nowhere else to go. And instead of celebrating and looking forward to her new adventure at George Washington University she was hiding in her parents house and trying to decide where she was supposed to go from here.

Everything had seemed so clear three weeks ago when she left Cyprus Rhodes University for the very last time. It had been hard for her. She hadn't wanted to leave, wasn't even sure if she was ready to move forward with her life, but she had done it anyway and she had done it with a sense, not that everything in her life was ending, but that everything was just beginning. She had graduated with a sense that her life was finally just starting.

She shifted, moving her hands protectively over her stomach as her mind conjured up an image of exactly what had changed everything for her.

The small, white plastic magical device that had informed her that her life was indeed going to change, just not the way she had thought it would. The tiny little window with the even tinier pink plus sign blaring at her with the unmistakable message that nothing would ever be the same for her again.

No one knew, and that was killing her, too. She wanted to call Ashleigh, her best friend and tell her everything. She wanted to break down on her brother, Rusty's shoulder and spill her guts out to him. But she didn't do any of those things. Because saying it out loud would mean it was real, it was true and she wasn't sure she was ready for the reality of it all.

How could she be ? She was alone, not only unmarried, but with no one prospect on the romantic horizon, and not in any kind of position to bring a child into the world. This was not a part of her plans, damn it ! And Casey was nothing without her plans.

She knew exactly who she should have been on the phone with. There was only one other person in the world that the news of her impending motherhood should be affecting, but there was no way she was going to call him. She couldn't, wouldn't ruin his life with this kind of news.

She hadn't seen or talked to Cappie since he left her standing on the boardwalk in Myrtle Beach. Three months had passed since then and a myriad of things had happened.

She had graduated from CRU, packed up her things and left Ohio, and everything it meant to her, behind her. She had moved back home, supposedly just for the summer, but now she wasn't sure how long it would actually last. Ashleigh had already started her new job in New York. Rebecca was preparing to run for president of ZBZ when the new semester began. Rusty had told her that Cappie was planning to return to school in the next year, true to his word, he wasn't leaving campus life yet. She had heard from Rebecca that Evan Chambers had gotten lucky enough to be accepted at CRU law school and she had to admit that she was more than a little jealous of that. After everything they had been through, everything he had done to her and people she cared about, how was it possible that he still got everything he wanted out of life ? Shouldn't there be some kind of penalty placed on people that hurt other people ? Shouldn't they be made to suffer as badly as they caused others to suffer ? She did have to admit that finding out about Rebecca cheating on him gave her a smug sense of justice. She didn't like that she reacted that way about the whole thing. It felt petty to her to be glad that he was being made to endure the exact same thing he had caused her to live through. She shouldn't be glad he was hurt by the whole thing. She shouldn't be happy about his pain, but she was and there was no amount of telling herself it was wrong that was going to change that.

Still he hadn't gotten everything he deserved. She couldn't help but think that if she had been the one to be accepted at CRU law, she would be standing here with a much different outlook on life and a necklace around her neck that read KTT in beautiful gold letters.

And it had been right there, almost in her hand, gleaming at her from a pretty black velvet box in Cappie's hand. A promise of almost everything she had ever wanted. A commitment he was making to her, to them. It would have been so easy to just take it from him.

Why was it so impossible for her to let herself be happy, even just for a minute ? Why did she have to over analyze and categorize everything in her life until there was no joy left for her ? Why couldn't she just relax and be okay with what she had instead of always wondering when the other shoe would drop, when it would all fall apart ?

She had always been obsessed with the future, too busy living there to really enjoy the present.

One day, she always told herself, one day I'll be all set up and I can start enjoying life.

One day seemed to keep getting further and further away.

She turned abruptly at the sound of a throat clearing behind her. She found her brother there, leaning against the door jamb that separated the living room from the kitchen watching her with a great deal of interest.

" I saw your bedroom door was opened and I figured I'd find you here." He told her as he removed himself from the wall and stepped closer to her. " Care to share whatever's been bothering you for the last week ?"

She shook her head in answer and turned back to the view of the backyard. It wasn't much to look at really but it was better than looking at him looking at her with such concern and pity.

" Case," He began coming closer still. " I know something is up and it's apparently something pretty monumental. Is it the break up with Cappie that has you so out of sorts lately ?"
His voice was soft, full of concern and worry. She wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, to unload all her problems on him. But still she held back, afraid that the first thing he would do with the knowledge would be to run to his best friend and tell him everything.

That was something she couldn't let happen. But how long would she be able to hide it from Rusty ? Already she was noticing a tightness in her favorite pair of jeans.

" I don't want to talk about it." She answered, quietly, still not turning towards him.

" Will you at least tell me what it is you don't want to talk about ?" He asked, " Is it law school ? Is it Cappie ? Is it graduation ? Are you missing Ashleigh ? I know you have a lot going on. I just want to help."

Finally she turned around and found him standing right behind her.

Her eyes burned suddenly with an influx of tears as she realized it was all of that and more.

She just nodded her head yes at him without answering and before she knew how to react, he put his arms around her and hugged her tightly to him.

" I know all this is getting to you. I understand your entire life is changing. That can't be easy." He told her as he continued to hug her. " I wish I could help."

He sounded so sincere. It was her undoing. Before she knew it she was sobbing into his shoulder and clinging to him almost desperately.

She didn't know how long she stood like that, crying on her younger brother's shoulder while he smoothed her hair and kept telling her it was all going to be alright. But when she finally let him go and stepped out of his embrace, he was still eying her critically.

" There's something else going on. I can see it. Why won't you tell me what it is ?"

" I can't. Not yet."

" Case, come on. This is big. Whatever it is, surely you'll feel better if you talk about it." He urged her.

She just shook her head at him and fought down another round of tears.

" If you won't talk to me about it, call Ashleigh. I know no matter how busy she is, she'd want to be there for you." He suggested.

" That's one of the problems. She's always there for me. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm the needy one." She tried to explain. " I'm tired of being the one that can't handle things on her own."

" You aren't needy, Casey. It isn't like that. But sometimes we all have problems and it's easy to deal with them when you can talk about them. Ashleigh understands that. And maybe she's sitting there in New York wanting to talk to you, too. Maybe she needs you as much as you need her."

" I just feel like sometimes, my friends are always pulling me through one crisis after another and they don't get much from me in return."

" That isn't how it is. I don't feel like that and I know Ashleigh doesn't either. Call her. You'll be glad you did, I guarantee it."

Then he turned and left.

Casey squared her shoulders and came back into the house, shutting the sliding glass door behind her. She grabbed her phone before curling up in her favorite hunter green, over-stuffed chair and pushing Ashleigh's number.

It only took two rings for her best friend to answer.

" I'm so glad you called !" Ashleigh's voice gushed at her over the line. " I have so much to tell you and I've been worried about you. I haven't heard from you in a week. You promised we wouldn't lose touch like that."

" I've had a lot on my mind." Casey explained. " I've had some stuff I've been dealing with."

" Stuff ? Like what kind of stuff. Is it a hot new guy ? Or maybe a hot old guy ?"

" It's nothing like that, there is no new guy, young or old." She told her.

" Then what ? Are you mopping about law school ? I'm telling you for the hundredth time, law school will be great. You'll be fine."

" I'm not going to law school in the fall." Casey blurted out over her friend's hyper voice.

The line suddenly went quiet. Casey felt her stomach roll as the realization of the words she'd just said hit her full force. She wasn't going to law school in the fall. She had no idea what she was going to do with herself at the moment, in fact.

" Why aren't you going to law school, Casey. That's crazy." Ashleigh asked finally.

" Something came up." Casey answered after a moment of silence.

" What could possibly be more important than you getting your ass to George Washington University ?"

She tried to will the words out of her mouth, but something kept them from actually making their way past her lips. She was crying again and she could tell that Ashleigh could hear her tears through the phone.

" Casey, are you alright ? What's going on ?"

" I can't say it." Was all she could manage to get out.

" Of course you can. Just tell me. You know you can tell me anything." Ashleigh coaxed her gently.

" Not this. I can't say this." Casey sobbed helplessly.

" Okay then, I'll guess. You just tell me if I'm right, okay ?"

" Okay."

" Is it your family ? Are they alright ?" Ashleigh asked first off.

" Everyone's fine." Casey answered.

" Is it money ? Did something happen and now you can't afford to go to school ?" She tried again.

" No the money is there."

" Okay, then are you putting it off because you're afraid to do it ?"

" I am afraid to do it but that isn't it."

" This is ridiculous, Casey. Just tell me what it is. Now, I'm really worried. Is it you ? Is there something wrong with you ?"

" No, I'm fine."
" Okay so it isn't money or health or fear keeping you from going. So it has to be something of a more personal nature. Is it Cappie ? Did something happen with Cappie ? Did you get back together ?"

" Something happen with Cappie. But no we aren't back together. I haven't talked to him since Myrtle Beach."

" Oh My God !" Ashleigh exclaimed in sudden understanding. " You can't be."

" Oh, I can be and I am." Casey confirmed, satisfied since she didn't have to actually admit it out loud yet.

" What are you going to do ?" Ashleigh wanted to know.

" No idea." Casey wailed into the phone.

" You have to talk to him. He has to know."

" NO !" Casey exclaimed. " He made it very clear the last time we talked that he isn't ready to leave CRU and he isn't ready to grow up. This is exactly what he doesn't want and I will not force him into something he isn't ready for."

" You didn't force him into anything. You both got into it together. You can't not tell him. Besides, no one asked you if you were ready to be forced into this."

" Ash, I can't tell him. I just can't. This has to be between us. I haven't told anyone else."

" Well, you'll have to tell people eventually. You know that right. There will come a point where you can't hide it any more." Ashleigh tried to reason with her.

Casey sighed heavily. " I know that. I'm not stupid. Of course I can't hide it forever. I just don't know how to tell anyone. I can't even make myself say it out loud."

" Of course you can. Just repeat after me – Pregnant."

" Preg-" was all Casey could mange before the tears took over again.

" You can do this Casey. Take a deep breath and say it – Pregnant."

" Pregnant !" She finally burst out a lot more loudly than she intended.

Then she heard something hit the floor in the kitchen.