Hello everyone, Tez is here to rape your dreams with disturbing images yet again! This has kind of become my account, but whatever. Now on to why I wrote this stuff.

My ever so loving friend Glasses loves the character Eisuke, as do I to a lesser degree. He has barely a fandom, so I helped create his fandom. She asked me to write this story, and gave me some cash to do it. So no head eating Heiji aliens in this one. Just my actual attempt at a lemon. Frankly it sucks, and I hate it. But you guys may like it. So here you go.

Pairing: EisukeShinichi. Rating M for uber gay sex. OOCness to the max. Pretty crackish as well. Warning: This fanfic will probably destory Christmas for you. Be ready for it.

It was Christmas Eve night, and all through the apartment it was quiet. Eisuke slept peacefully in his new bed. He had finally made it to America; he was renting an apartment with what little money he had and was attending American school. But he was on Christmas break now, and was enjoying it.

He did, however, miss his friends in Japan. The one he missed the most was Shinichi. Eisuke realized only after he had left Japan his true feelings for Shinichi. He now longed to be next to Shinichi every day. He didn't know if he would ever get that chance, or if Shinichi would want it either.

Eisuke woke up to the sound of someone at the window in his living room. His first thought was of course Santa Claus. However, he was long past believing such a fairy tale and figured it was just his imagination. But then he heard the window actually open. He then knew that it was actually a burglar.

Eisuke was frightened, but knew he had to do something. He quietly got out of his bed and grabbed a near by baseball bat that he had used to shoo away rats in the apartment. He then quietly opened the door to his bedroom and slid out into the living room. He saw a dark figure bent over in front of his Christmas tree. The figure was a person wearing the Santa outfit. Eisuke wondered it if really was Santa, but figured it was really just a burglar in a Santa get-up stealing his gifts. Eisuke made a quick move and bashed the burglar over the head with the baseball bat.

"Holy mother of butter!" shouted the Santa Burglar, Eisuke gave another whack on the head, "Dammit! Stop that!" The Santa turned around the grabbed the bat from Eisuke's hands. Eisuke closed his eyes fearing being hit himself, but then noticed that the voice from the Santa was familiar.

"Sh-Shinichi?" asked Eisuke opening his eyes. He realized then that the Santa was none other than Shinichi.

"Why'd you hit me, you asshole!" shouted Santa Shin rubbing his bruised head.

"Why'd you sneak in my house through the window dressed in a Santa outfit?!" shouted Eisuke back.

"Is that against the law or something, jeez..." said Santa Shin sarcastically.

"Yes it is! How'd you even find out where I lived?!" Eisuke was starting to calm down from what had just happened.

"Not that hard, ya know..." Santa Shin said putting down his bag, "Nice place you got here, should do fine for later..."

Eisuke was puzzled by that comment, "What do you mean by-"

Santa Shin interrupted him, "So, did ya miss me?"

Eisuke then realized how happy he really was to see Shinichi, his friend and secret crush. "What if I did?" asked Eisuke in his usual tone when talking to Shinichi.

Eisuke didn't noticed it, but Shinichi had moved closer to him in the room, he was close enough to his face that Eisuke could feel his breath on his cheek, "Come on, did you or didn't you?" he asked slyly.

"Er..Umm..." Eisuke was struck by both shock of Shinichi's behavior and embarrassment from the closeness of their faces. He didn't know how to respond and simply turned his face away from Shinichi's, "You can stay the night, but you're going to have to leave in the morn-"

Eisuke was cut off by Shinichi. He used his finger to smoothly move Eisuke's head so that they were looking in each other's eyes. "I know you did," he said grinning, "I know I did..."

"What does it matter if I did?" asked Eisuke red in the face. Just then, Shinichi gave Eisuke a quick kiss on the lips. Eisuke was stunned by it, but it felt so right to him. Shinichi pulled back smiling.

"Want to admit it now?" asked Shinichi slyly. Eisuke didn't admit it, but he loved it. Shinichi saw Eisuke's face and knew what he was thinking, "I'll take that as a 'Yes'..." Shinichi said then pulling Eisuke into a hug. He kissed Eisuke again on the lips, Eisuke didn't want him to stop again, he grabbed his head and held him closer.

They moved in their kissing headlock to a close by couch. Eisuke sat on Shinichi's lap still kissing him. Shinichi looked at the situation and laughed a little after pulling back for a second.

"So...What do you want for Christmas, little boy?" asked Shinichi giggling.

Eisuke caught on and decided to continue the joke, "All I want for Christmas is your hot ass!"

Shinichi smiled and grabbed Eisuke's hand and planted it right on his own ass, "That good for you?" Eisuke blushed at this and firmly grabbed Shinichi's ass. He was nice and firm.

"All my wishes have come true!" said Eisuke joyfully locking Shinichi in another kiss. Shinichi took it a step further and let his tongue enter his friend's mouth. They tongue wrestled for a few minutes, which felt like hours to them.

Shinichi made the next move again, seeing how Eisuke doesn't have any idea what he's doing, and started removing Eisuke's Kaitou Kid pajamas. He first unbuttoned the top, Eisuke flinched at this, but then figured out what he was doing and let him continue.

"Wait, wait..." said Shinichi unlocking from their kiss yet again. Eisuke gave him an annoyed face, and Shinichi only grinned as a response. He then moved from the couch and opened the bag he had brought in through the window. Eisuke looked curiously at what he was searching for, but didn't get up to check.

Shinichi then found it and held it up in the air in triumph. It was a simple pair of antlers and a shiny red nose. Shinichi walked back over and put the antlers and nose on Eisuke. He looked like Rudolph.

Eisuke looked wide eyed at Shinichi, he knew what he was going to ask and answered it, "Santa needs a reindeer, doesn't he?"

Eisuke gave a glare, but knew that it would make no difference. He then hugged Shinichi and tried locking lips with him again. But Shinichi pushed him away and shook his head. "What now?" asked Eisuke annoyed.

"Presents!" shouted Santa Shin joyfully. He then again went searching in his bag for more gifts for his glasses wearing teen friend.

He soon pulled out a present. It was a red box with a green bow on top. It looked like an ordinary present to Eisuke. Santa Shin gave him the package and told him to open it. Eisuke was wary of doing so, but did it anyway. The contents inside confused Eisuke. He gasped out, "...F-fuzzy handcuffs?"

"Exactly!" said Shinichi snatching the handcuffs from Eisuke's hands. "But we can only use them after we check our stockings!" Eisuke was confused and scared of Shinichi's terminology tonight. Shinichi walked up to his scared friend and pushed him on the couch. Eisuke looked up wide eyed and scared what his friend was planning to do.

Shinichi quickly knelled down in front of Eisuke's feet and removed one of his socks. Eisuke wanted to move away, but he also wanted to know what was in store from Shinichi. Shinichi sniffed the sock and let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I was hoping it'd smell like this..." he said as he licked Eisuke's foot pleasurably.

Eisuke in a shock of horror said, "What're you doi-"

Shinichi closed his mouth and grinned, "Just let me have a little fun, please?"

Eisuke shock his head in saying no, but Shinichi took the fuzzy handcuffs and put them on Eisuke. Eisuke struggled and tried shouting for help, but Shinichi shoved the sock in his mouth, "I asked nicely, now I'm doing it forcibly!"

Eisuke struggled at first, but then gave up on the fight. He knew that Shinichi was too strong for him, so there was no use fighting back. He also knew that when he was done, it was Eisuke's turn. Shinichi had his fun licking and playing with Eisuke's toes. Eisuke giggled a few times, he appeared to be ticklish. Eisuke also didn't enjoy the taste of his sock in his mouth, but dealt with it.

Shinichi, when he had his fun, uncuffed the fuzzy handcuffs, letting Eisuke remove the sock in his mouth. Shinichi was surprised how not angry Eisuke was, Eisuke was actually smiling.

"It's my turn..." said Eisuke slyly.

Shinichi thought for a second, "Fine... But make it quick..."

"I'll be taking my time, Mr. Foot Fetish..." Eisuke said chuckling at his bad joke. Shinichi glared at him and waited for the worse.

"Get on with it then," said Shinichi impatiently, "What is it you plan to do?"

"I want to unwrap my Christmas gift early..." said Eisuke moving closer to Shinichi. Shinichi looked wide eyed and confused. Eisuke began unbuttoning the front of Shinichi's Santa shirt. Shinichi relaxed, he was expecting worse.

Eisuke was relieved that he was with Shinichi and that he was allowed to do this. He removed the shirt relieving Shinichi's bare chest. He was strong; one could see it just from his chest. Eisuke couldn't help himself and began to rub his hands up against Shinichi's chest. It was smooth and had a nice touch to it. Eisuke rested his head up against it to feel it up against his face.

"Enjoying yourself?" asked Shinichi in a sarcastic tone.

"Maybe," said Eisuke lifting his head away from Shinichi's hot chest, "I'm not done either." Shinichi sighed and let him continue.

Eisuke started exploring lower. He rubbed Shinichi's chest and then his stomach. Not a six pack abs, but close enough. He loved the feel of it all the more. He then got to his belt buckle and began removing it. Shinichi had a worried look on his face, but let him continue. Eisuke removed it and pulled down Shinichi's pants. Eisuke was confused what was underneath.

"Ummm..." Eisuke started, "Shinichi, why is your waist covered in wrapping paper?"

"I was hoping to save it to later..." Shinichi said red in the face, "I was going to use another Christmas pun with it..."

"Fine," said Eisuke disappointingly about to pull Shinichi's pants up.

"No, no," said Shinichi pushing his pants down again, "Might as well do it now that it's out. Unwrap Santa's gift, little boy!"

"Yay!" Eisuke couldn't help shouting out as keeled down to open his gift. He began ripping the paper from Shinichi's waist to reveal something that again amazed Eisuke.

"Shinichi!" shouted Eisuke, "Did you paint your penis?!"

"Yes I did," said Shinichi unmoved, "It's a candy cane and two chestnuts. Can you tell?"

"Yes..." Eisuke said slowly looking at Shinichi's 'candy cane'. It wasn't a bad paint job, especially since it was a penis, "But why did you do this?!"

"So I could use a 'Sucking on Santa's Candy Cane' pun," Shinichi said with a huge smile on his face.

"My god," Eisuke said in amazement, "My love for Christmas is probably going to be destroyed by the end of this fanfic..."

"Say what now?" asked Shinichi.

"Nothing," Eisuke said scratching his head, "Quite a thing you got there...that candy cane..."

Shinichi chuckled and bent over to give Eisuke a quick kiss on the cheek, "Do me a favor, would ya?"

"What is it, Santa?" asked Eisuke sarcastically.

"Can you give Santa's candy cane a quick licking?" asked Shinichi chuckling.

Eisuke was stunned by the question at hand. His mind couldn't process it for a few seconds, even when it did, he couldn't think of a response. Shinichi noted this and laughed yet again.

"Come on," he said, "I know you don't like sweets, so I didn't give it the peppermint flavoring I considered. But it could be a tad salty."

Eisuke nodded, not knowing what else to do and bent over onto one knee. He studied the candy cane, and was curious exactly what Shinichi wanted him to do. Eisuke looked up at his friend, how made licking motions with his mouth, still smiling. Eisuke had no other choice but to do it...

Scratching his head, Eisuke hesitantly grabbed Shinichi's candy cane, which made Shinichi let out cry. Eisuke looked up confused, but Shinichi nodded his head to keep going. Eisuke hesitated yet again, for he's never touched someone else's junk; he's most defiantly never licked one.

Eisuke decided that it was now or never and quickly licked Shinichi's candy cane. It was salty, but Eisuke somehow didn't feel creepied out by what he just licked. He then noticed that some of the red and white had some off where he licked. He found it oddly comical and laughed a bit.

"What's so funny?" asked Shinichi amused as well.

"I guess this means I really am gay for you, Shin-chan," remarked Eisuke with a smirk, "Because I'm not creepied out by this at all." Eisuke then commenced on licking the candy cane some more. Shinichi moaned from the sensation and Eisuke chuckled at being able to make Shinichi squirm.

"O-Okay..." moaned Shinichi, "S-Stop!"

"Why?" asked Eisuke with a huge grin on his face, there was some pink, red, and white paint on his lips, "This is so much fun!"

"Yes," said Shinichi laughing a bit, "If we don't move on to the more fun, Santa might come early tonight, if you know what I mean..."

Eisuke looked at Shinichi's now straight candy cane and realized the terminology. "Okay," sighed Eisuke, "It's my turn, slut!"

"Geez...fine, whore," replied Shinichi with a frown on his face, "So selfish..."

"You're the selfish one!" Eisuke shouted rubbing the pink on his mouth on to his arm, "You keep asking for things even though it's my turn!"

"So?" Shinichi said with a grin, "I'm just being the man in this thing..."

"Are you implying that I'm the chick?!" Eisuke shouted.

"All you're missing is the boobs, honestly," Shinichi said chuckling to himself, "Not sure what you've got down there, but I'm sure that's it's not as good as what I have!" He proclaimed grabbing Eisuke's pajama drawstring, "Let's have a look see, hmm...?"

Eisuke wanted to struggle, but then he realized that Shinichi was giving Eisuke his turn for pleasure. Shinichi, realizing Eisuke's calm attitude, went on with the show.

Shinichi slowly undid Eisuke's pajama string, but then stopped. Eisuke looked confused as to why, and then Shinichi lowered to one knee. He took the string in his mouth and undid it slowly at first but the swiftly. He then bite down on the top of Eisuke's Kaitou Kid pajama shorts and pulled them down seductively, which Eisuke couldn't help but laugh a bit about.

Shinichi pulled the pants down to Eisuke's knees before releasing his bite. The pants then fell to the floor, and Eisuke's heart boxer shorts were revealed. Shinichi giggled a bit, Eisuke didn't question why, because he knew it was because of his boxer choice. Shinichi paused before continuing, Eisuke wondered why.

"Really, Eisuke? I expected better from you," said Shinichi with a sarcastic under tone.

"What'd I do?" asking Eisuke not recognizing the sarcasm.

"Boxers? I thought you had more class," started Shinichi trying to hold back a laugh, "I would have thought your underwear of choice was panties or a thong…"

Eisuke, struck back by the statement, replied angrily with, "I'm not a god damn chick, for the last time!"

Shinichi covered his mouth as he laughed at Eisuke's reaction. Eisuke, still flustered, wanted to hit his gay lover, but reframed from doing so. Shinichi looked at Eisuke's face and realized how Eisuke didn't see the comedy of the situation the same as he did.

"Eisuke, don't you get it?" Shinichi said getting up off his knee, face leveled now with Eisuke's, "I'm not doing that to be mean…"

"Why do you keep mocking me then?" Eisuke said, with tears in the eyes.

"Well," Shinichi started read in the face, "I like the way you react to things, if you know what I mean…" Eisuke gave a confused face, Shinichi sighed and continued, "Your reactions, for lack of better words, are really cute. They make me smile."

Eisuke was confused, but understood what this teen detective meant. Eisuke smiled in response, so Shinichi leaned in for a kiss. "I'll continue now," Shinichi said kneeling on the ground again.

Shinichi grabbed the band of elastic that held up Eisuke's boxers and began moving them down. This reviled Eisuke's own colorless 'Candy cane'. Shinichi, laughed for a minute at its much smaller size to his own, but reframed himself from cracking a joke about it, since he realized that Eisuke doesn't enjoy them as much as he does.

Shinichi suddenly looked at the clock on the wall; he had a panicked expression on his face. "Oh noes, our time is almost up, my dear reindeer," he said in a low tone, "I'll try to make this as magical as I can for you, m'kay?" He gave a cheerful smile to the blushed face teen.

"Okay, but how are you going to end this?" Eisuke asked with a sad expression on his own face.

"Santa's finally gonna leave his presents under the tree now!" Shinichi said arms out stretched. Eisuke looked confused, what could "presents" possibly mean in Christmas dialogue. Shinichi saw that Eisuke wasn't catching on, so he decided to lean Eisuke towards the procedure.

Shinichi wrapped his arm around Eisuke and lead him to the couch. He turned him around and had him lean forward, ass cheeks in the air. Eisuke just then realized that Shinichi was going to do something that he had only heard gay couples doing; he never envisioned himself doing it, especially not with Shinichi.

"Don't worry, my shemale friend," said Shinichi getting ready, "Santa's just putting his candy cane in your stocking, no biggie."

Eisuke had to give a chuckle at this disturbing Christmas reference. Too many in one night, how could he not help but laugh? Eisuke prepared for what he had imagined happening, for the poor sucker was but a virgin. Shinichi was also one, but he had done research, and not just by watching gay porn.

"Ready?" asked Shinichi, who was secretly worried if he would perform correctly for his lover. Eisuke nodded, so Shinichi continued. He shoved his 'cane' into Eisuke's 'stocking'. It took a minute, because Shinichi's candy was clearly an extra large while Eisuke's stocking was made for children's feet; but they soon managed to get it all in there.

Shinichi paused, waiting for Eisuke's stocking to get used to his candy cane being in it. Eisuke was getting used to Shinichi's massive size and Shinichi continued. He pulled out slightly and thrust hard into the reindeer. Eisuke was surprised but let Santa continue.

Shinichi waited again and then gave another shove of his cane. He did it another time and Eisuke let out an "Eep!" with it. Shinichi chuckled, but knew he had to continue before his time was up. He gave two more, but then paused and let out a pant, then patted Eisuke's ass cheeks saying, "You better be ready, boy."

"For what?" asked Eisuke turning to look at his Santa's face.

"Let's just say this," started Santa, "Santa's about to come to town!"

Eisuke paused for a minute to yet again try and comprehend this terminology, but before he could answer, Shinichi gave another thrust. He gasped with this one, and Eisuke felt something went on his ass checks. Eisuke had a horrified face on, for he knew now what Shinichi had meant. He could hear his partner panting behind him. He pulled his candy cane out of Eisuke's stocking at last. He then laid down next to his disturbed reindeer and laughed upon seeing his face.

"Sorry about that," chuckled the exhausted Santa, "That was a lot of snow, huh? Well, a quick shower will take care of that," Shinichi said the last line before dozing off to sleep, as did Eisuke did from shock.

***

Eisuke awoke in a daze to sun shining in his eyes. He looked up and saw that the window that Shinichi entered through was still opened and that it was early day. He got up and closed the window. He looked around the room; it was the same as the night before after his midnight adventure with his lover. But it lacked one thing: his lover.

He figured he must have left in the night to catch a plane back to Japan. 'At least I had one evening with him…' thought Eisuke, though it did not make him feel any better.

Just then, he noticed a box under the tree. It was a small one, red wrapping with a green bow. A typical Christmas gift. Eisuke ran over and opened the box, knowing it was from his personal Santa. And it was from him, it was a single plane ticket to Japan and a note saying, "Hope to see you soon :3" Just like that, and that was all.

Eisuke thought about what Shinichi had meant with this note. He then figured it out, packed all his bags, and left his apartment to meet his friend again.

The End.

Surprised you made it through that? I am. But regardless, tell me what you think! RR if you can. Please tell me how much this destoryed life as you know it xD

See ya'll ~Tez