Well, this was written for the Sincerest Flattery Challenge Light hosted on the DFC. I got Remi, and so I chose this really cute fic she wrote in 2010, Change in Me. Sorry for touching such an old fic, but I wasn't able to write for the other one I chose, and this one was just so cute...

I don't really do letters...

Ken sighed. This was stupid. There was no way his brother could even receive the message. Osamu was dead, and you can't contact the dead.

But then, how did the dead contact him?

But I guess I should say sorry. I did a lot of… wrong. I forgot. I forgot….

Despite writing the letter via E-mail (which was dumb since Osamu never had one in the first place), he couldn't write after that. He really wanted to write the right thing the first time, even if he could press the backspace button.

I forgot the past. I couldn't remember…

He felt like adding the bit about the dark spore, but he knew his brother wouldn't let that slide. It wasn't an excuse.

I did act like those cruel people in horror movies, harming countless innocent creatures…

He completely forgot he hated what people in horror movies did. Actually, his entire past was fuzzy, but he didn't dare mention that in the letter.

I wasn't kind like I was… It actually got to the point where I was the polar opposite of kind. I was astonished I got the crest of kindness…

It was weird telling Osamu what happened. He knew. He knew, which was why that letter was sent.

But I made friends, didn't I? I thought…

He trailed off once again. Osamu mentioned that he wasn't himself even with his friends. He was, apathy, as his brother described him. He was lost apparently…lost in the sea of his personas.

I thought they were enough…but they weren't. You said so yourself, I'm not myself.

But where is…

He stopped himself. Where was himself, that's what he was about to ask. But it seemed so stupid. Osamu wasn't going to give a straight answer; that is if he could communicate. But Ken is replying to his message now. That counts for something, right?

Where are you anyways? You know what I'm doing, but I don't know what you're doing.

You're watching me, aren't you? But what else? Are you living up to our parents' expectations? Are you answering questions up there to your heart's content? Or are you just remembering those days?

He knew the answer to that question. Osamu was remembering those days, why would he remember what happened?

That probably wasn't…

Ni-chan?

It felt weird typing ni-chan. Ken never did have anyone to call that. He was superior to the others, at least in their minds. And he wasn't sure if he was the eldest, even if he did act like the eldest.

Are you going to forgive me?

Stupid question, but he kept on writing.

I'm stalling, I know… I don't want to end this conversation here. But answer this question, please. Are you going to forgive me? Not just what I did back then, but what I did now… I wasn't myself… I lost myself, didn't I? And I can't find it… I just don't know where it is… Maybe it's inside those memories, the ones I forgot. I can't remember, but maybe if you retell them to me, maybe I can remember properly… But for now, you need to remember for me.